Possible reason for ABism

[Ultima]

If this is in the wrong section, please move it, and I'm sorry for the mistake.

Now I'm not in denial of my ABism at all, nor am I trying to find out why I'm like this, it just occured to me once that this could have helped the progress of it. Ever since I was little (and I am now too) I have been extremely fearful of death (not the pain that comes with some forms of death, but the fact that I wouldn't be alive anymore). Now I know with religious beliefs that when you die you can go to heaven, but I'm agnostic, and don't really see heaven or any place like that as a possibility (and no I'm not claiming religion is wrong, just saying my personal beliefs). Going from a completely just scientific point of view, when I die, I'm just gone, it's over. I for one, would NEVER want that, I love it here (sure there are times of hardship, but for the most part I love life). And I would do anything in my power to make sure I never grow old and die.

So, what are everyone elses thoughts on this? I think this could have possibly moved my ABism forward. Being a baby is basically the youngest form of life, quite far from death. I don't know, the theory itself is just in it's initial stages, but I figured I'd put it out there and see what everyone else thinks.

 

[Babystevie26]

I once saw a profile on DiaperSpace that offered an interesting idea. (Site's not working but I'll see about copy/pasting a link or something when it is)

He posted that many ABs he knew (myself included, incidentally) are adoptees. Brought up by other than their biological parents. In my case, I was brought up by my grandmother as her son and never learned this until I was 18 and she had passed away. However, I have been interested in diapers ever since I was taken out of them at about 2 or so. I've wondered myself if I was, on some subconscious level, aware of my status as adoptee and if my AB-side stemmed from it.

In short, I think parental issues, known or not, can have an effect on this.

 

[IncompleteDude]

My father was adopted, keeps his childhood plushies, and when my parents recently found my diapers he never said a word. Was as jovial as ever (which isn't saying much mind you). I just found it odd for him to do that while my mom was raking me over the coals.

I don't think for one second he's AB or anything, just maybe there is a tiny bit there that makes him somehow understanding.

Anyways, I just thought it fit with the adoption idea.

 

[Ultima]

I wasn't adopted, but my mom did leave my dad when I was about 6 months old, and since then I haven't had much of a father figure (My mom has been with another guy for about 12 years but it's been shaky between him and I). Perhaps subconsciously I wanted to regress and try to have a perfect childhood, starting at the roots. There are several possibilities for why people get *B/DL tendencies that AREN'T sexual (The emotional desire). There is so much about the human psyche that we don't understand, really the possibilities are endless. All of those are good thoughts and theories though.

 

[Pojo]

No family issues until recently, but I was already into this so it's not a factor...

 

[Ultima]

If I had to place any reason behind mine it would be my fear of death, I seriously DO NOT want to die, like you wouldn't believe. And I know nobody really WANTS to die, but just the thought of growing old and eventually not being a part of this world tears me up. It just unsettles me that much.

 

[DannyTheNinja]

I think (as in, have found credible evidence that) my sister adopted from China may be DL. She's only 10 right now so out of a desire to keep her innocent I haven't dropped any hints or anything.

I'm definitely TB/DL though and not adopted. Personally I've thought for a while that there's a connection between a certain flavor of ADHD and *B/DLism. Basically there's a category of people that have ADHD/ADD, OCD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, or a combination of the above but are really, really bright thinkers especially in the areas of math and science. I've been told that I fit into this category along with many of the kids in my school. I've noticed that many people on this site - Marty and mm3 are two that I've spoken with in particular - fit under this category as well. I'm very much curious to see if there's a connection in there.

BTW: my sister has ADHD too.

--Danny :ninja:

 

[Ultima]

Well the only category I would fit into is possibly the OCD aspect. I've always had a great attention span, and never any troubles like dyslexia or dysgraphia. My OCD is quite mild though, it's just small things most others would overlook.

 

[Pojo]

Math and Science are my best subjects...I have a horrible attention span for some things...And I probably won't look you in the eye for long when you're talking to me (I'm still listening though...)...And I think I have very mild OCD...At least for some things...But I honestly think that *Bism is just random...Well I think I need to be a bit more specific...If it's a fetish, then I think it's just random...But if it's not a fetish, and you use it as a way to escape, or something, then there may be some cause...Whether or not they actually are related to some mental thing, who knows...But I prefer to see it as random

 

[Tafshin]

If it's a fetish, then I think it's just random...But if it's not a fetish, and you use it as a way to escape, or something, then there may be some cause...Whether or not they actually are related to some mental thing, who knows...But I prefer to see it as random

I think you're right, to a degree. I had strong feelings of shame and self loathing about my *Bism until a few monthes ago, when I pretty much found out why. Now understand I didn't know any reason why I could have been *B before. I found this paperwork from a family psychiatric person that had details of an evaluation on me when I was like 2-3 years old. It details all of these things like my school situation, to illnesses, to how my mother disciplined me. It was something along the lines of Whenever I would complain cry, act out, my mother would tell me to stop acting like a baby, and thats how babies act, ect. If I got "bad" enough, it said my mother would even make me drink from a baby bottle. And according to the paperwork I hated it to no end. It also said my mom would make me sit on my knees in the middle of the floor and not move as punishment, and if I used bad words, she'd tell me how ugly they were and that only ugly people use them. She also forwarded this method to my daycare teachers, other family, and friends who babysat me for her, to tell me to stop acting like a baby when I acted out, and I would stop. Seems like a very simple, cop out method to deal with a child. But I guess it worked.

That's not even including the harassment and shit from school. Since I had Cerebral Palsy, my balance as a child was bad, so a few kids from daycare would always push me down just to see me fall. And according to the paperwork, I was about 2-3 monthes behind as far as motor skills and stuff were concerned.

So, upon reading all of it for the first time, I got really angry at my mother. I didn't remember all of these punishments and how she raised me at that point. And I know that stuff wouldn't have been in that report unless she volunteered it and thought it was an ok way to parent. Then i thought, well the Psych didn't put any troubling notes in here about my mother, so I guess those methods were accepting at that point in time. Note that around the time this report was written, it was about 1989, 1990. But as I read them I couldn't help but feel ...somewhat disgusted.

I do remember the first time wanting to wear a diaper and be babied as about 5/6 years old. But as far as my *Bism, this stuff screams itself out as being the reason. The main part being that the thing I want most is to just, once, relive that period of my life and somehow make things different, so that I won't be traumatized. Then I know that my *Bism would just be gone. But.. that can't happen, ever. So I'm stuck with *Bism for the rest of my life, but I'm ok with that ^^.

Sorry Pojo, I was trying to make a point and went on about my life story. Sorry, yo.

 

[Craig]

Maths and sience are best subjects too Infact I recently got an A* in maths and just today got an A in sience but I was just 2 off an A*

Back to the origanal topic, I'm not adopted (as far as I know :O) and I'm not ADHD, OCD, dyslexia, dysgraphia.

I don't know what why I am the way I am and there has been millions of theories but maybe it's just that we enjoy the feeling off being babied?

The only thing I remember that could of triggered my TBism when my Aunty came over to stay us for a week and just before she left she gave me a couple of nappies for my dolls (I was like 4 ) and some how I ended up wearing them, my mum didn't approve of course and I used to put them on and try to sneak around, with no pants on? It's just amazing when I think I was trying to hide the fact I was wearing a nappy with no pants on lol. Another time was when I was also around the age of 4 and I went to nursery and the woman who looked after me gave me a dummy

Craig.

 

[Jon]

I was adopted at like 2 months old, and one the only good psychologist I've ever discussed my DLism with at length suggested the same connection. He said that attachments like diapers start really young and that I shouldn't worry about it, not should my parents blame themselves for it, since it's been out of their control from the start.

 

[Ultima]

Speaking of the thing about where you don't look people in the face/eye when you talk to them, is there an actual explanation for that? I always passed it off as shyness, but is there something else to it? Idk

 

[Pojo]

Speaking of the thing about where you don't look people in the face/eye when you talk to them, is there an actual explanation for that? I always passed it off as shyness, but is there something else to it? Idk

I'm not really sure...I just can't do it...I try to, believe me...But I just can't do it for long...It's not that I get distracted, it's more that I can't stay focused on someone's eyes...I don't know how to explain it :sad:

 

[Ultima]

I know exactly what you mean, I try to tell people I'm not doing it out of disrespect, I just...CAN'T. I suppose it's probably just a severe amount of shyness, but I mean, if we were that shy, why would we even talk to them? *Shrugs*

 

[Olliboll]

I bet the reason for me is because my parents fought alot and then later on divorced when I was really young. Im not sure of the age but I guess somewhere when I was around 2 or something. I was just a baby and since it was such a traumatizing experience it maybe made me into a TB, thats the most psychological way I can look at it.

 

[Kovy]

Possibly, bonding experiences with diapers, or friends who wore diapers, as a yound child might have something to do with it.

 

[mizzycub]

To go back to the OP, I can see how a fear of death could make you want to be as young as possible again. People trying to escape death has happened for ages, both in a literary/artistic and a real life circumstances. Many, perhaps, most of us fear death in some way even if they wouldn't admit it, and I can see how this could be your escape. I wouldn't say it applies to everyone, but equally I wouldn't say it is impossible.

I am not adopted, though again, I can see how that could lead to *BDL, except where the adoption occurred when the child was still a baby when the adoption happened. Even where the the biological parents are bad parents, there is often a connection that an adoptive parent can never reproduce (from what I have heard). Someone could be looking to get that feeling again by regressing themselves to an age where they had there biological parents.

As for dannytheninja's point, this is something I too have noticed. Though on that list the only one I sorta have is dyslexia (a diagnosis when I was 6, then all mention of it disappears to the point my school doesn't even have a record of it - a most confusing mystery), however being capable at maths and science is definitely there. I haven't got a theory for this one, though I think it would be interesting to look in too.

EDIT: Ultima, I don't know what bad eye contact is called, but I know I have it. I can usually look in a persons rough direction, but not the eyes, and I don't always do it. Don't know the name, but I know the reason I don't always look someone in the eye is to do with the fact I have Aspergers

 

[Ultima]

Yeah, the only other reason I could possibly think of for me to get my AB/DL tendencies is the fact that I never really had a father figure during life. I've grown to accept it though, it bothered me, but I don't think to a point where it would give me any desires for regression. But I assume it's different for everyone, just thought maybe this would give some insight to anyone who may be wondering what could have caused it for them. It just came to me one day.

 

[dogboy]

God Tafshin, I am so sorry all of that happened to you. Some things in life are just not fair. Your summation may very well be right. I was adopted at the age of two. I was already talking and so knew my name, which is dumb, by the way. Anyway, my parents put me up for adoption because they were not getting along. I believe I might have been housed in an adoption orphanage from what my adoptive parents, my real parents, told me. I'm thinking that my potty training my have be abusive. Anyway, for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be in diapers and treated like a baby.

As for death, one of the teachers at my school shared this with me today. I hope others will read this, because I think it is profound. She has two other sisters, and one night she had a very vivid dream that her dad, who was desceased, came for her mother, who was living, to take her home. That morning her sister called her to say that she just had this weird and vivid dream that their dad had come for their mom to take her home. Then a little later the other sister called to say that their mom had just died. And you'll never believe this, she had this very vivid dream that night that the dad had come to take the mom home.

I believe we will go home upon our death, and be with our loved ones. The last two months that my beloved aunt and god-mother was alive, she kept seeing this very dear friend of her's who had recently died. She kept telling him to leave the house. Two months later she died of a stroke. When my wife and I cleaned out her house, we found all these notes that she had written and left around the house asking him to leave, because of course, he was dead. I know we all fear death. Even I fear death. But another reality speaks even louder in my head saying everything will be alright.