Perhaps the sound is all in my head

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DLRob

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  1. Diaper Lover
So yesterday I wore a pull-up at work for the first time. A flare up of a mild incontinence problem occasionally visited upon me by an inflamed prostate (caused by the consumption of certain antihistamines and made worse by caffeine) was having me visiting the bathroom every 30-45 minutes and switching between awkward positions in my chair crossing and uncrossing my legs trying to keep the plumbing from springing a leak.

Finally I acknowledged to myself that, though I have a diaper fetish and I've often had fantasies of wearing a diaper at work, this was no fantasy situation, this was a real-life actual incontinence/need based reason to wear some kind of protection so I could get some work done. It's hard to get your work done when 50% of your thoughts are devoted to trying not to pee on yourself. At any rate, I decided to finally just go for it.

I had a depend real fit in my bag as the issue had been getting worse for a few days, I'd been wearing them at home for a while and I wanted to be prepared at work... but I have always had shame issues surrounding my diaper fetish and I hadn't been able to bring myself to wear something at work despite the growing need. I decided on the Active Fit because it is discreet, and is designed for someone in exactly my position with very mild incontinence problems, and because they look an awful lot like normal underwear to the untrained eye. Despite wanting to wear something significantly more substantial, I really only need something for minor leaks... like right after using the bathroom, after wiping things off, flushing and walking away from the toilet... when those last drops decide its now safe to exit... I just needed something to catch that so I didn't have to squeeze every muscle in my body trying to keep it in.

So I put the pull-up in my vest, went to the restroom, and changed. This allowed me to finally relax and get some work done.

Now... while I am proud of myself for finally having the courage to take this step... I wanted to say that it also made me extremely nervous to walk around the office with it on. It seemed as if every step I took I could hear the crinkling sound of this supposedly quiet pull-up echoing down the hall. I mostly stuck to my office for the rest of the day and kept to myself until time to go home. But I've read people here say time and again that nobody really notices the sound, that for the most part it is only you who can hear it. So today I decided to conduct an experiment. For the first part of the day going about my usual routine I decided to just imagine that I was wearing the pull-up... and as I walked up and down the halls going about business as usual while pretending to have one on, I actually thought I could again hear the echoing crinkling sounds bouncing off the walls. It turns out it was just my normal clothes making all that noise... noise that I normally don't pay any attention to.

So if you are similarly concerned about the noise level, I would encourage you to conduct your own similar experiment to confirm. The normal sound of my clothes was simply being amplified by my concern.

Now I just need to work up the courage to go change again. I'm crossing my legs and sitting in an awkward position even as I'm writing this.

Wish me luck.
 
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712
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  1. Carer
I am sorry to hear of your problems. While it is good that you are fronting your problem and making sure everything is discrete for yourself. I do think it would be a really good idea to speak to your doctor about the dribbles you have been experiencing. It may be that some simple medication or exercises may 'tighten' things up down there. I recently posted this link on another thread but as this topic has just come up it seems a good opportunity to add it to this post.

http://patient.info/health/pelvic-floor-exercises

I may be over stepping the mark but I do not feel you need to associate your diaper fetish with a problem that should be medically advised on at this time. It could cause you to get sidetracked from dealing with what could be a serious medical issue. If it is something that does become a larger part of your life then that may be the time to start incorporating your wants and your needs. It may serve you well to search the incontinence forum on this site as well to get some further support.
 
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