Percentage Of AB's in the general population???

[Electrically]

Electrically

I had a similar experience of feeling like I had done everything to prove myself to others.

My experience of this stage was falling out of love with my Adult side. My adult self seemed staid, lacking in vitality and life, defined by the drudgery of meeting life’s obligations and the expectations of others. That part of me sometimes felt deadened, numbed, a shell. At the same time my diaper-loving side was becoming the 'apple of my eye'. Unconsciously, I started to vest all my hopes for a more emotionally fulfilling and alive future in my diaper-loving side. My Adult self felt like the catapillar and my Little like the butterfly. I came to rejoice in my diaper-loving side and just tolerate my Adult side.

Regards. Dylan.

I do enjoy my adult life however I completely understand the feeling of needing emotionally the acceptance and fulfillment of small side

 

[DylanLewis]

Wow, really well said Dylan as it represents me and my life very accurately. I kept this locked away for over 50 years, then hidden from my wife for over 30. And although my wife supports me beautifully, I am still cloistered. It is not that I want to go dancing in the streets wearing nothing but diapers, but I am just ready to let it just be more of me. That is, to just wear more often, to be little more often, to take advantage of that wonderful soft side that my wife offers me... to have a nursery and not care that people know about it.

Oh if I could only be that bold... maybe one day I will truly hit the "what the hell moment" and build that nursery, and the moment momma2moosey diapers me then pulls the side up on my crib for my first nap, after which I will surely die.

One day....

littlemoosey

The loving acceptance of your wife after you locked this side of yourself away for so long never fails to lift my spirit. God bless both of you.

Being able to wear in our own household without shame or recrimination meets a need for nurturing which is liberating.

It also goes beyond the diapers. It is about our Adult side and our diaper-loving side being able to share the best of themselves with each other - so our Adult self can take on some of our Little’s wonderful joyfulness, spontenaneity and capacity to really live in our bodies. And our Little can receive loving caregiving from our Adult and take on some of their care for others, discernment and courage - to give up some of their selfishness and be loving towards our Adult as well as loved.

This is what really breaks down the compartmentalization in our personalities, so that we move beyond denying one part of ourselves and our needs and can genuinely live as our whole, True self.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[Electrically]

But thinking purely of expectations of others.
I may be tired and feel unfulfilled wth meeting constant expectations of others.
which may be some level of cause to acceptance

 

[littlemoosey]

littlemoosey

The loving acceptance of your wife after you locked this side of yourself away for so long never fails to lift my spirit. God bless both of you.

Being able to wear in our own household without shame or recrimination meets a need for nurturing which is liberating.

It also goes beyond the diapers. It is about our Adult side and our diaper-loving side being able to share the best of themselves with each other - so our Adult self can take on some of our Little’s wonderful joyfulness, spontenaneity and capacity to really live in our bodies. And our Little can receive loving caregiving from our Adult and take on some of their care for others, discernment and courage - to give up some of their selfishness and be loving towards our Adult as well as loved.

This is what really breaks down the compartmentalization in our personalities, so that we move beyond denying one part of ourselves and our needs and can genuinely live as our whole, True self.

Regards. Dylan.

Dylan I only hope that I can reach that point before I cash in. I know that the better half, the nicer more gentle half is my "little side". I know that I have told you that is the part of me that my wife does not want to loose if I were to give all this up again.

It is not that I was such an ogre, but it was because that I had put on an armor so unyielding that I often came across as cold and uncaring. The funny thing was that armor was to prevent anyone from knowing that I had this "soft side". No one could ever know that secretly, I just wanted to let go, be little and wear diapers. That information was my personal nuclear launch codes.

 

[DylanLewis]

Dylan I only hope that I can reach that point before I cash in. I know that the better half, the nicer more gentle half is my "little side". I know that I have told you that is the part of me that my wife does not want to loose if I were to give all this up again.

It is not that I was such an ogre, but it was because that I had put on an armor so unyielding that I often came across as cold and uncaring. The funny thing was that armor was to prevent anyone from knowing that I had this "soft side". No one could ever know that secretly, I just wanted to let go and be little and wear diapers. That information was my personal nuclear launch codes.

littlemoosey

Have you found your experience of your adult self changing with the greater acceptance of your Little side by yourself and your wonderful wife?

Or other's experience of your adult self changing (though they don't know about your Little side)?

Regards. Dylan.

 

[Electrically]

Dylan I only hope that I can reach that point before I cash in. I know that the better half, the nicer more gentle half is my "little side". I know that I have told you that is the part of me that my wife does not want to loose if I were to give all this up again.

It is not that I was such an ogre, but it was because that I had put on an armor so unyielding that I often came across as cold and uncaring. The funny thing was that armor was to prevent anyone from knowing that I had this "soft side". No one could ever know that secretly, I just wanted to let go, be little and wear diapers. That information was my personal nuclear launch codes.

I too held people away and would come off cold and uncaring
I believe that I would not show myself ou

 

[Electrically]

I too held people away and would come off cold and uncaring
I believe that I would not show myself ou

Oops
Out of fear of exposing myself
And this has caused me to have very few personal relationships.

 

[DylanLewis]

Oops
Out of fear of exposing myself
And this has caused me to have very few personal relationships.

Electrically

I feel for you. littlemoosey has his wife and MrsZaronab's hubby has her, but you are having to tread this very difficult part of the journey alone without your wife's support. That must be incredibly tough at times.

what you need to know is your experience of yourself as holding people away and having very few personal relationships is not the real, whole you - your True self. many others of us have lived with this. you don't need to hold it against yourself. it is a product of the compartmentalization in your personality. Such compartmentalization is involuntary, you didn't choose it. It was a way of coping with unmet needs. And it can be broken down. I think that is the part of the journey you are on right now.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[littlemoosey]

littlemoosey

Have you found your experience of your adult self changing with the greater acceptance of your Little side by yourself and your wonderful wife?



Or other's experience of your adult self changing (though they don't know about your Little side)?

Regards. Dylan.

1. Yes, I am a much happier person. But more importantly, although my wife and I had a solid marriage before my reveal; this revelation brought out something in both of us that bound us more closely together. I really do know she likes having this more gentle side of me, she has told me that on more than one occasion. I did hide this so well, that I wish that I could have a do over on some parts of my life with her... but that will never happen and I have to do the best I can for her moving forward.

2. Yes, my brothers and sister that know absolutely nothing about this have commented on more than one occasion that I am a much happier person now.

I know I have mentioned my niece, a family counselor, on more than one occasion. For a few years, up to my reveal to my wife she and I had many long discussions about things, about life, about happiness... but never about this side of me. After I told my wife and things turned around, my niece noted a "sea change" for the better in my demeanor, in fact she began referring to me as "Uncle X 2.0". Although she did not know what the catalyst was for my metamorphosis. It took another year of conversations, of her badgering me about what had changed in my life to change my perspective, my outlook. Through many conversations I would tell her without really telling her, I would beat around the bush.

Finally, I knew that she could better talk with me if I came clean. So I began to ask her about the most unusual things that she had ever had to deal with as a counselor. She did tell me that she did have an AB couple but she had to refer them out as she had no experience with this. So, I knew she was at least familiar. Finally, I told her, but the thing was from all that I had beat around the bush, she had already figured it out and she told me, "that of all the things that I could have done in my life to deal with the stresses: drugs, alcohol, sex... that this was nothing"

Obviously because of me she is much more familiar with AB/DL now, and has done her share of research. Like my wife she was totally accepting of it all. She told me it is unfortunate, that my family and friends will never know the "true me" that I still mostly have to keep hidden. I am just happier for the most part while I do it.

 

[DylanLewis]

1. Yes, I am a much happier person. But more importantly, although my wife and I had a solid marriage before my reveal; this revelation brought out something in both of us that bound us more closely together. I really do know she likes having this more gentle side of me, she has told me that on more than one occasion. I did hide this so well, that I wish that I could have a do over on some parts of my life with her... but that will never happen and I have to do the best I can for her moving forward.

2. Yes, my brothers and sister that know absolutely nothing about this have commented on more than one occasion that I am a much happier person now.

I know I have mentioned my niece, a family counselor, on more than one occasion. For a few years, up to my reveal to my wife she and I had many long discussions about things, about life, about happiness... but never about this side of me. After I told my wife and things turned around, my niece noted a "sea change" for the better in my demeanor, in fact she began referring to me as "Uncle X 2.0". Although she did not know what the catalyst was for my metamorphosis. It took another year of conversations, of her badgering me about what had changed in my life to change my perspective, my outlook. Through many conversations I would tell her without really telling her, I would beat around the bush.

Finally, I knew that she could better talk with me if I came clean. So I began to ask her about the most unusual things that she had ever had to deal with as a counselor. She did tell me that she did have an AB couple but she had to refer them out as she had no experience with this. So, I knew she was at least familiar. Finally, I told her, but the thing was from all that I had beat around the bush, she had already figured it out and she told me, "that of all the things that I could have done in my life to deal with the stresses: drugs, alcohol, sex... that this was nothing"

Obviously because of me she is much more familiar with AB/DL now, and has done her share of research. Like my wife she was totally accepting of it all. She told me it is unfortunate, that my family and friends will never know the "true me" that I still mostly have to keep hidden. I am just happier for the most part while I do it.

littlemoosey

I love the Uncle X 2.0 bit - wonderful!

You said above "you can only hope you reach that point [your adult and your little sharing the best of themselves with each other] before you cash your chips in. I think you are already there.

It's wonderful to have your niece so that you and your wife can openly share your True Self with someone else - but you will still be sharing the best of yourself with others, even without them knowing about your Little side.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[kratox]

i think you are correct kratox, it most definitely kept hidden. Everyone of us has their own reasons. But I find some humorous irony in your premise. I have never seen you on here before so when I look you up: your location HIDDEN, your sex HIDDEN, role HIDDEN.

On the one hand you seem very outspoken for being “out”... on the other you don’t even trust your peers with these insignificant details.

you do realize that I was just bringing up a point that people do not want to acknowledge right????

Also there is a difference with outing yourself to the public and having correct public information. You don't need to blab to the world that you are a abdl to get better acceptance on the topic. Also you don't need to shutdown other abdls who are more open then you. Let people do what they want as long as it isn't harming anyone.

 

[Calico]

Last I heard, 5,000,000 to 7,000,000 worldwide are ABDL. .

 

[MrsZaronab]

MrsZaronab

I concur. I believe what you are pointing to is a key point of differentiation amongst ABDLs - the extent to which this motivation and behaviour is compartmentalized within the personality.

This goes beyond the secrecy to prevent disclosure and avoid harm from the misunderstanding or prejudices of others. The ABDL motivations/behaviours are compartmentalized from the rest of the self. Commonly that is way of dealing with the internal conflict from the contradiction between the adult self image (typically self sufficient, "grown up", functional etc) and the ABDL motivations/behaviours. This is a way of dealing with the internal conflict, by shutting it down - by keeping the contradictory parts of the personality in different compartments.

I believe that most start their career as ABDLs compartmentalizing from the outset. Often that comes from the initial confusion and shame about our bizarre compulsive need for diapers. Most continue that compartmentalization for a long time. Commonly people believe that it means that their adult 'normal' side is insulated from their hidden, closeted ABDL side. (On a surface yes, on a deeper level no).

But as can be seen intermittantly from posts on ADISC, in middle age or later it gets more difficult to sustain the compartmentalization that worked for so long. The ABDL side - the motivations and the needs - start to 'bleed' across the partitioning in the personality and seep into the "adult" side of life. The clearest example is the married middle aged ABDL who can't hold back his desperation for his wife to at least accept, and perhaps participate in his ABDL life.

Compartmentalizing contradictory sides of the personality is a common and effective means of getting by - not just for ABDL. For some, perhaps many, it may never fail. But for some, perhaps many, it starts to fail as we get older - typically when we have climbed all the mountains we are expected to climb to prove we are functional and successful products of our upbringing - marriage, profession/business, career etc - and we are left facing ourselves and asking "is this enough?" For those in this situation compartmentalization has run its course - it was always a strategy based on denial rather than addressing what lay behind being ABDL. Then in uncertain and halting steps some start to explore what ABDL means for their whole identity. That doesn't mean 24/7 diapers. It means living without the partitioning in the personality so that the adult and the diaper-loving side can share the best of themselves with the other.

Regards. Dylan.

I understand what you are saying. I see a lot of that behavior in my husband. With covid and everything else going on in the world I am exploring my abdl side. However I personally do not feel that way myself.

Maybe its because I am woman? I am aroused by the intimacy in my abdl relationship. I enjoy being involved in all of the most personal needs of my partner and vice versa. As a "mommy" (I have never felt like his real mother in any way) I am aroused as the giver by nurturing his abdl needs. From nursing to changing a diaper, I feel a connection and closeness that I have never felt anything like before. As LG, we switch, I feel watched, and cared for as my needs are placed as the number one priority. From watching a movie that he hates, but he does it anyway because he loves me. Being praised for helping out and being a good girl. Getting spanked when I am a bad girl. To not caring if I wet myself and having him lovingly change me. Being involved in all of the intimate areas of body and sprit is what I find so arousing about abdl.

Maybe I am not a "real" abdl? But I have never felt closed off by my desires.

 

[DylanLewis]

Maybe I am not a "real" abdl? But I have never felt closed off by my desires

MrsZaronab

Everyone's experience of being ABDL is uniquely their own, none is more or less 'real' or valid than another.

Your husband's "career" as an ABDL sounds like it approaches a common pattern shared by many others - perhaps early onset of ABDL fantasies and need for diapers in adolescence etc. Your experience coming to ABDL in adulthood is less common but not unknown, especially for women.

Our best source for this is the 2011 survey by the late Brian D. Zamboni formerly of the Medical School of the University of Minnesota. It is the only published survey to separately report on the data for males and females across most/all items. It included a useful sample of females - 139, who represented 7.2% of the total sample.

Adult baby/diaper lovers: an exploratory study of an online community sample - PubMed

This internet-based study provided descriptive information and exploratory analyses on 1,795 male and 139 female members of the Adult Baby/Diaper Lover (ABDL) community. Based on prior research, some research questions focused on the degree to which ABDL behavior was associated with negative...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

The results re age of onset can be summarized as follows (from Zamboni and other surveys for males, and from Zamboni for females):

For a majority of males the onset of first interest in ABDL precedes puberty. There is also a substantial minority of males where the first interest in ABDL occurs during puberty, and a small minority where the onset of interest follows puberty. It is somewhat different for female ABDLs. The proportions in the first two populations are reversed, for a majority of females first interest in ABDL occurs during puberty, and there is a significant or substantial minority where first interest precedes puberty.

For both genders, where the onset follows puberty this can extend into the twenties or older. It is a much smaller population that those with onset before or during puberty, but it is a recognizeable group. My recollection of other surveys (BitterGreys, I think) indicated that female ABDL were more likely to acquire the motivation/behaviours from being introduced to it by others.

So, your experience and pathway might be less common but is certainly no less 'real' or valid than anyone elses.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[MandyBear]

To get an idea I feel you have to look at the bigger picture and include the other more BDSM "labels" such as littles, middles, babygirls, princess, ect.
Basically all the other subcategories involving regression or age play.

Also, not all sub groups involve diapers and even the ones that do not all people in them wear diapers or only wear pullups/goodnites.

Also,also, not all people who wear diapers consider themselves AB or DL.

I'm a perfect example, aside from my IC wearing, I wear for other reasons but do not identify with either the AB or DL labels.

I would say the greater population is the same as most other things at 5% to 10%

 

[Electrically]

Electrically

I feel for you. littlemoosey has his wife and MrsZaronab's hubby has her, but you are having to tread this very difficult part of the journey alone without your wife's support. That must be incredibly tough at times.

what you need to know is your experience of yourself as holding people away and having very few personal relationships is not the real, whole you - your True self. many others of us have lived with this. you don't need to hold it against yourself. it is a product of the compartmentalization in your personality. Such compartmentalization is involuntary, you didn't choose it. It was a way of coping with unmet needs. And it can be broken down. I think that is the part of the journey you are on right now.

Regards. Dylan.

I don’t think I “hold it against myself” at times I do wish I have had or do have better relationships with people. However this has also caused me to be very self reliant. I find pride in finding ways to accomplish goals and find confidence in myself for being independent and am able to think for myself without feeling like I need influencing.
I did and probably still do have high expectations. And I need to find better ways to just be happy.

But to get somewhere closer to thread topic. I feel that there are many more AB type people than reveille themselves or identify themselves as Ab and many of these people would never be suspected to be.
I am pretty sure that most ABDL people would never suspect me in fact I worked very hard for many years to not be suspicious of anything like AB.
Best and as always thought provoking
Thanks

 

[BobaFettish]

If Ageplay is a swimming pool, diaper wearing ABDLs may be on the deep end, I think a lot of popular culture is in the shallow end. Superhero and Star Wars are popular movies. People into Hello Kitty. Adult coloring books. YA novels being popular with adults. Kigus and adult footy pajamas. Etc... I think DDLG is near the middle of the pool.

Whether at the shallow or deep end, we're all wet and we are all hitting THAT nerve.

I'm curious how many people are diaper wearing Littles like myself, but I think there's A LOT of people in the Ageplay pool.

 

[DorianLogan]

100% of the population was a baby at the start of their lives. Whatever psychological 'process' makes people into ABs, the entire population is potentially exposed to it. There should be quite a lot of us!

AB/DL is probably a lot more common than you realise. There is a big enough market to keep loads of diaper vendors in business. And I reckon there are huge numbers of people who have the fetish/urge and do not act on it - perhaps because their home situation does not make it safe, or because they are too ashamed. Remember, AB/DL is probably one of the most taboo fetishes/lifestyles out there. Personally I went over 15 years without acting on it. I'm sure many people supress it.

It still seems crazy to me that there are companies in China that make a living manufacturing abdl diapers... or that there are products for us that come from huge factories. It's a small niche, but also an economically important one. Enough so that you can do business with us.

 

[LittleRen77]

I don’t think I’d be breaking any rule by posting a paragraph from the book You’re Not Broken by Rhoda Lipscomb, but this is what she says:

“People often ask how many people around the world fall into the categories of Adult Babies, Diaper Lovers, or those who enjoy Age Play. This is a difficult question to answer accurately. Even at this point in the twenty-first century, I regularly encounter people who have hidden, and continue to hide, this side of themselves from all or most of the world. Clearly, that makes estimating exact numbers difficult. Those who have studied this have estimated that one in one thousand people could be part of this community (Enfant Mel 2011). If that estimate is true, that would mean we have over 330,000 AB/DL individuals in the United States and millions worldwide.”

I agree with others… I think that number is just a stab in the dark.