People without ANY fetishes?

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plasticsounds

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I was wondering if there are people in this world that have absolutely no fetishes whatsoever.

Background: I was having a conversation with my wife the other day(she knows about my AB/DL, does not participate). I asked her outright if she has any desires, strange or otherwise. She said no. I pushed. She insisted, no.

I know for a fact that my wife is extremely repressed about sexual things. It took years for her to even talk about specifics. She has a hard time telling me what she likes. It makes it difficult to give her the things she wants. With that, I was wondering if she really has no hidden desires, or if she refuses to admit to anything that would be deemed 'different'?

Obviously, I have asked and get no response from her. So I repeat and rephrase, has anyone run into a person that is 100% kink free? Or are most people in denial and unwilling to admit to things, even to themselves?
 

Bigbabybret

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Well,

I'd say everyone has something specific...

Now if you call it a fetish or not is another question.

Also most people do deny or repress these desires and feel they are are wrong for having them...

Every group even the church tells people they are wrong for thinking different...

So that's my two cents...
 

BoundCoder

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It's pretty hard to even nail down what constitutes a fetish, but I think it's certainly possible.

As society in general relaxes a bit on sexuality, the line between fetish and just preferences in a vanilla context is just going to get blurrier and blurrier (good example would be leather.. seen as sexy by a large number of people whom one wouldn't likely consider having a "leather fetish").

Personally though, I don't think it really matters. Sexual repression matters, but blocking stuff into fetish and non-fetish doesn't.
 

dogboy

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I would think that most people don't. We may have trouble accepting that because we know and understand that which we feel. When I was living an exclusively gay lifestyle while in college, most of my friends were gay. There was a number of them that were convinced that everyone was gay, they just didn't realize it yet. I always thought this was nonsense. I think the same is true about fetishes. It's all we know, because we've had it in one manifestation or another, for our lifetime, but to assume others share similar feelings under the umbrella of Paraphilia isn't logical. That would be like thinking everyone was bi-polar because I was bi-polar.
 

BoundCoder

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One really interesting thing with fetishes is (and there may be some selection bias happening here along what dogboy said) a large number of people who have one seem to have several. I for one seem to have a huge and ever growing list.

So either:
- having one is a kind of "gateway", exposing one to other things they wouldn't have been exposed to and putting them in a more fetish-minded er, minedset
- whatever chunk of the brain goes defective to give you one fetish makes you susceptible to others
 

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Well, as I am asexual, I don't really have "fetishes". I do have various interests and preferences. Sooo do I count?
 

Frogsy

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Yeah, I'm pretty positive that most people in the world don't have fetishes. They may have some preferences but they are overall vanilla and will pretty much fantasize about and engage in vanilla stuff only. This was true of just about everyone I dated, sadly for me!

But what IS a fetish, you know? Something like, say, chest size on a woman, is this a fetish or a preference? To ME, at least, this is a preference. There's nothing weird about liking a woman's body. Something I consider a fetish would be something that is sort of out of the normal sphere of sex. Diapers, obviously, as most here are DL's, we'd recognize as being out of the normal sex range. You don't just usually run into diapers while browsing through naughty vanilla sites. You kind of have to go out of your way.

I agree with what dogboy said. It's hard to imagine people who don't have secret kinks and desires in the bedroom because most of us here have a pretty big secret. But it's probably true nonetheless that most people just like the usual fair. I can assume so based on my own experiences! You'd think guys would be more willing to come clean about a fetish after finding out a couple of their girlfriend's. But, nope, they just were vanilla guys. That's fine. No fun for me, but fine!
 
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CrinklySiren

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Everyone has a kink. Whether or not they have a sexual fetish or a hobby or a special interest, everyone has a preference and a kink. Even saying that you are obsessed with Doggy-style sex means you have a fetish for doggy-style, despite how vanilla it is considered. The problem is that when people think fetish, they think weird shit. My wife was the same way, because she didn't think or know that sex on a swing or being tied down was considered a fetish. So im sure your wife has a fetish she just doesn't know its a fetish.

- - - Updated - - -

Being asexual is your fetish :p

Asexuality isnt a fetish, its an orientation... or rather lack-there-of.
 

Beloney

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My wife is the same way...



I was wondering if there are people in this world that have absolutely no fetishes whatsoever.

Background: I was having a conversation with my wife the other day(she knows about my AB/DL, does not participate). I asked her outright if she has any desires, strange or otherwise. She said no. I pushed. She insisted, no.

I know for a fact that my wife is extremely repressed about sexual things. It took years for her to even talk about specifics. She has a hard time telling me what she likes. It makes it difficult to give her the things she wants. With that, I was wondering if she really has no hidden desires, or if she refuses to admit to anything that would be deemed 'different'?

Obviously, I have asked and get no response from her. So I repeat and rephrase, has anyone run into a person that is 100% kink free? Or are most people in denial and unwilling to admit to things, even to themselves?
 

SteamingBullet

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I'm asexual and I have tons of fetishes. They just don't involve other humans.

Fair point. I guess what I can say is, not everyone has fetishes, but a lot of people have hidden interests/secrets, or something the might not consider a fetish.
 

plasticsounds

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Thank you all. I think the sticking point is the term fetish. Maybe kink is better. I do know that I have a biased opinion, but straight missionary is so boring. The good news is that through much communication she seems more open to try different things. Not as different as I would hope, but baby steps.
 

ClandestineWing

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It's kind of hard to tell, since the vast majority of people tend to keep their fetishes discreet.
 

timmywimmy

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I have the strong feeling that there are indeed a great many people whose sexualities differ so slightly from the entirely kink-free that they should be considered effectively kink-less. :) My impression of my brother, for instance, has always been that he likes heterosexual sex with his wife, and has never ranged any further. But I might be wrong ... All of our lives are private, until the day Google and the NSA decide to dump all our wicked little searches out there in the open :)

The point about what we would consider a 'fetish', properly speaking, is that it is an urge that borrows the sex drive and transfers it to other objects or behaviours, or fundamentally changes the conditions under which you want sex or can have sex. Liking your wife to wear stockings when you have sex only becomes 'fetishistic' when you find yourself unable to have sex with your wife if she isn't. The same would apply to the remark about doggy style earlier in the thread; it becomes fetishistic at the point where you feel you can't have sex in any other position. THe point at which you are no longer making a choice ... the point at which you are driven or even slightly defined by a compulsion ... this is fetish. Deciding one day, once only, to dress up for sex in a latex french maid costume isn't fetish. It's just an experiment.

And we shouldn't forget that even so-called 'normal' sex becomes abnormal and unacceptable under certain circumstances. A rapist has forgotten, or enjoys forgetting, the most important part of sexual practice - adult consent. When I was in my teens the marriage of one of our neighbours collapsed because the husband liked - felt he needed - to have 'normal' sex with his wife at least ten times a day, usually much more frequently than that ... the poor woman eventually sued for divorce. He was never able to understand why. But it's pretty clear to me that this guy had what we would call a fetish - for 'normal' sex.

But to get back to the original question, I do think that many, many people aren't troubled by their sexuality. It doesn't affect their other behaviours. They are so close to kink-less as to be effectively kink-free.
 
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I'm asexual and I have tons of fetishes. They just don't involve other humans.

I have a very few fetishes.. diapers is not one of them to be honest. My DLism is not sexual whatsoever. I like some elements of BDSM, although I actually prefer self bondage and do not want to get other people involved. I consider myself straight, but I look for the emotional aspect in women rather then the sexual side. That being said, I do not actually enjoy sex very much at all, although I do masterbate on a regular basis like a majority of people.

Sadly we live in an overly-sexualised world. I have not had sex with my girlfriend for over 2 months. It's not that I don't love her anyone.. it's just that I don't have strong sexual desires when it involves other people. So yeah.. I'm straight but with strong leanings towards the asexual spectrum as well.
 
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