- Adult Baby, Little, Incontinent
No, no, no, honey, you didn't insult me. I see your point. I see what I'm guessing is a bit of fear of social ostracism, and being behind for a kid, too.I am sorry for your cerebral palsy child and I did not mean to insult. I was speaking more for children without conditions which my so has many of.
I will call that bad advice from any doctor to the parent, and then bad advice for those who allow their non afflicted (normal) child to insist on a diaper till age 3 up to 7 as their standard underwear.
Most young baby children do not constipated like that if you hydrate them well enough.
I have read news stories from England how parents are sending their school aged children to school that are still dependent on diapers and are not toilet trained and the problems it is causing.
What happened with teaching children toilet habits and why does it now extend 3 years and beyond?
I will ask, behind according to whom? Training age tends to vary by culture.
All the children who went into Dr. Hodges' book were typically developing kids, though. The parents were clueless that their typical kids were constipated, because they were pooping everyday, and it was usually soft. It took xrays for the parents to see anything was wrong, and these kids were wetting, because their bowels were so full, as to be pushing on their bladders, but because they were pooping everyday, and it was soft, the parents didn't know.
The definition most doctors use is infrequent or hard poops. Well, if the kid isn't emptying, it doesn't matter if they're going everyday, and softly, or not. Theyre not emptying, and that's constipation. Hodges saw both urine leakage, and stool leakage in these typically developing kiddos. This is because when you hold too long, the muscles get too stretched out, and weak.
Imagine an anal sphincter, too weak to hold stool back. That can happen when stool is held too long. There's sometimes a hard plug, with very loose stool behind it, that leaks out first. Imagine bladder, huge, but too weak to get everything out. That can happen from holding too long.
All Dr. H. was doing, was trying to prevent the holding back that can cause those weak muscles, because later on, that becomes IC, and the UTIs that are so much more common once parents stop being responsible for wiping them. A noble goal, no?
One must look at everything. If someone put away my work, because I went to the restroom, and they could just do that because they were bigger than me, and I could, I'd hold it, too.
This is how kids feel when we put away their work. Older kids have even more reason to hold it way too long. Have you seen school bathrooms? Many are disgusting. Why does it have to be 3 or beyond? It doesn't. It absolutely doesn't. It can be stated, kindly, gently, and respectfully, with no carrots and no sticks, from birth, if one wants to.
I'm not saying, "For land's sakes, wait practically forever," nor am I saying, "Start from infancy, and if not, fooey."
I'm saying "Be careful not to force it, and don't lie."
Imagine you have no ABDL experience, and someone you live with, and love, who is a giant compared to you, and has almost infinitely more power than you, says, one day, "It is time. Piss and shit your pants. I HAVE SPOKEN! Okay, okay, do it, and I'll smile at you, and hug you and be happy, but don't, and I won't. Do it and you'll get a sticker? Candy? What do you want, man!? It's my job to get you to do this!"
Now, don't forget, for purposes of discussion, you aren't you. Does the fact that the giant, who you live with and love, is angry, change the fact that it's an entirely new skill? How about happy? How about the fact that the beloved giant is making you responsible for his or her emotions? Do cookies, or stickers make that fact go away? Does any of that make pooping and peeing in a position completely unnatural to you, and feeling it against your skin, any easier? Wouldn't you feel a little lied too, if you discovered that was what they wanted of you the whole time? Would you protest, and keep doing as you'd always done?
What if the beloved giant said, from the beginning, "This is where I'd like you to do this, and since you can't alone, I'll help, but I won't drag you to somewhere you don't want to be, or force you. I'll help," or, if the giant waited to tell you, "Oh, you're ready? It's a new skill. I won't withhold anything, or go nuclear,"?