Pedophilia is bad, but misunderstood.

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ShippoFox

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I didn't want to throw junk into the kinks or childhood abuse topics, so I decided to make a new topic for this...

I think, in a way, the pedophile stuff is sorta like a witch hunt, in some ways. People get so paranoid about it that non-pedophiles probably end up being accused of things they didn't do.

Sometimes I'm afraid to look in the direction of a little kid because someone might think "oh no, he's looking this way! that must mean he's a pedophile!" Even though I'm not one, I just wouldn't want to be accused of such a thing. That can ruin lives. I mean, if you're looking at a car pass by and there just happens to be a kid there, then you're not even looking at the kid really, but a very protective parent might think so. Anyway, it's sorta just if the parents are obviously protective to the extreme.

I used to think a thought such as "aww... that little kid is cute." (at least they can be when they're not being annoying or breaking stuff) made someone a pedophile. I almost wondered how so many people got away with it and why it was suddenly a big deal. (I don't know why, but I never noticed pedophiles in the news before that.) I was only 11... so I just didn't get it.

Also when I was 11....
I sorta had crushes on girls that were as much as 3-4 years younger than me. (As well as my age and sometimes girls a year or two older. though I thought of sexual intercourse as weird and gross, actually. I kinda hoped that I'd find a girlfriend, but never have sex in my whole life, I guess. When I was about 10, anyway. Before that I still thought girls were weird. I was very naive about sexuality for a while, I suppose.) So at some point, I was afraid I was a pedophile because I liked some girls that were younger than me.... just cause I heard all this stuff on the news about "pedophiles" and didn't quite understand it.

Now, about some things pedophile-related....

Sex offender databases
Once someone ends up on one, people get suspicious of them. What they did could have had nothing to do with pedophilia at all. There are actually some really unfair ways to end up branded a sex offender too. I think people have a right to know who is dangerous and who isn't, but something is wrong with the system.

Cartoon/drawn porn with children. Erotic stories with children.
This is a gray area. It doesn't harm any kids at all, so it shouldn't be illegal. They say it can lead to that for some pedophiles though. However, I think that's entering the dangerous area of "thought crime"..... which is definitely something that should not exist. Also, just because someone likes a murder mystery doesn't mean they want to kill people. Pedophilia could be a good attribute for a villain/antagonist in a story. Likewise, what about a character that looks like a kid, but is much older? Someone could create a fictional character of a fictional race and say "oh he looks like a kid, but he's actually much older." Balok from Star Trek's Corbomite Maneuver... Shippo from Inuyasha (debatable, since he's very child-like).... Who knows how many other such characters exist?

I know pedophilia is DEFINITELY a BIG problem though. It just seems that people are too quick to point fingers in this world. Not only that, but then they'll not notice danger when it's really there. The same goes for lots of other issues too. And sometimes bad things still happen when you're careful. I'm sure it all confuses the kids too... because I was pretty confused. :(

Personally, I don't hate pedophiles unless they act on their urges. I agree that purchasing child porn should be illegal, but I won't necessarily hate a person for being a pedophile unless he/she actually does something terrible to a kid (that's where the anger really kicks in... hard to forgive things like that). I might not want to hang around with them too much though... and that makes me feel kinda hypocritical after defending them in this topic.

There is a difference between a pedophile and an abuser. An abuser has actually done something horrible. A pedophile may have thoughts and never act on them. It's kinda like how a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle doesn't have to be a square... sorta.
 

Kraiden

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My Views on Pedophilia:

Fantasies are fine. They're in your head. I don't have a problem with, say for instance, cartoon porn of the nature. But the very instant they try to do some stuff with a child in real life, that's when they need to be put on some sort of a sex offenders list and kept the hell away from kids.

I believe people can have whatever sexual fantasies they want, but when it comes to pedophilia, as soon as they attempt to try that stuff in real life, that's where the line has to be drawn.

also, more food for thought... I heard a story a while back of a 14 year old being arrested and charged for possession of child pornography. Namely, naked pictures of himself. (Or was it a she? I can't remember) Pretty retarded, isn't it?
 

ShippoFox

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Yeah, I heard about that. Seemed pretty stupid to me. I can understand that he'd get in trouble for it, but I hope he didn't really get tried as an adult for child pornography! :eek:
 

care_a_lot

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That sounds completely ridiculous! I agree that fantasies are just that fantasies. So long as they are not acted upon. But therein lies your problem. Have you ever had a fantasy that lays in your mind for always that you'd just LOVE to try this or that and when the chance comes up..just grabbed it? These people might just grab the idea of being with a child and then the chance comes up to get to be with one...sounds pretty scary to me.
 

Squigma

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Thanks for making this - I thought it might be a good idea to get this discussion into it's own thread but I wasn't sure. Anyway, I'm gonna put what I said in the other kinks thread here, just to get all the discussion in one place:

I'm gonna go ahead and dive right into this new discussion because I feel really strongly about it...

I think the way society treats paedophilia is awful. The way people seem to assume all paedophiles are child molesters makes me think the belief that all gay people rape other men... and anyone who thinks that nowadays is labelled intolerant and homophobic!

The fact is, many - if not most - child molestations are not done by paedophiles. They are done by sadists - who find it much easier to take control of children - and those who use a child as a substitute for someone or something they cannot have.


It really bothers me how paedophile is used to mean child molester - and it's not just in conversation. The other day, I heard them say on the news "a paedophile has been arrested". It seems to imply paedophilia itself is a crime - it's not! There's nothing wrong with having desires, as long as you don't act on them.

But the worst thing about society's blind hatred of paedophilia is how damn hypocritical it is. We preach tolerance and acceptance of all different types of people, saying how wrong it is to discriminate and hate just because someone likes something different to the norm. Yet here we are, discriminating and hating people just because they like things different to the norm. I can understand how society always needs someone to hate, and I can understand how our opinions of a group can be shaped just by the actions of a few people from that group. But we act like we've moved on from doing that, when we still do it without even realising!

And then this hatred of all paedophiles makes it so difficult for them to get help. It's never a good idea to keep these feelings bottled up inside, but what else can they do if society will shun them for even mentioning it? We need to make it easier for paedophiles to get help, to make sure they never act on their urges.

I just want to point out I'm not supporting child abuse, child rape, or porn involving real children. All these things are terrible; no child should have to go through that. I'm only defending paedophiles that would never hurt a child - which is the majority of them. However, I am not a paedophile myself, or a close friend with one, so I may be incorrect on certain details. If this is the case, I apologise.
 

ShippoFox

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That sounds completely ridiculous! I agree that fantasies are just that fantasies. So long as they are not acted upon. But therein lies your problem. Have you ever had a fantasy that lays in your mind for always that you'd just LOVE to try this or that and when the chance comes up..just grabbed it? These people might just grab the idea of being with a child and then the chance comes up to get to be with one...sounds pretty scary to me.
Yes, it's scary.... but my point is that there are probably many pedophiles that would never do such a thing. Some things are good as stories, but terrible when real. Some people have a stronger sense of right and wrong than others.
 
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Well, well... what to say...

All I can really say is that I've had similar thoughts along the lines of what ShippoFox and others have said.

I think having the desires is no different than any other fetish, however, it's the fixation this person has that makes it dangerous. Whilst I find it disturbing enough that people are aroused by young children, I wouldn't actively speak out against them until they have acted on their desires.

I'd be hypocritical if I didn't feel that people are entitled to their own thing in private. But I'd also be going against my own beliefs if I said it's okay to involve other people (especially non-consenting) into whatever desires you have. I truly believe that young people don't have the maturity, nor the understanding to make decisions regarding their sex-life or sexual experiences. Being an active pedophile is just wrong on so many levels...
 

Spirit

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My viewpoint on pedophiles could be considered strange to some.

I have had... feelings about children, and I worry if that would automatically label me as a pedophile (but you'd think a 14 year old wouldn't worry too much about being called a "pedophile"), now that I have read this post it makes me feel quite different, and better about myself. While I've rarely had these feelings (and although I wouldn't harm a child even if it was to save the world) they worried me.

It's very hard to say that I was a victim of a pedophile, but I've been here long enough, and I feel that I can come open about these feelings (somewhat).

I know of the fact that the bullied can often become bullies themselves, but sometimes I wonder if this can apply to victims of pedophiles as well.

I have learnt some valuable advice from a VERY strange source (South Park in fact) and that is people who are intolerant of pedophiles/gays/lesbians/transsexuals/furries/whatever often have a problem themselves.

That's the end of this serious (and somewhat hard to get of my chest) rant...
 

kite

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there are going to be pedophiles in the world. i've read statistics like 1/4th of men ( i think it was a kinsey study) have pedophilic thoughts. another one mentioned how it might be biologically linked due to the prolonging of the human species. also, it's said that only 10% of child sex abuse cases are done by pedophiles. i think it was until the 1950's or so the legal age of marrige was around 14 in the US. so the scare of pedophilic people and such has been roughly a new concept. what's made me wonder is either the rise and/or recognization of female pedophiles and the double standards therein lies.
also, i agree with what everyone has said so far so i don't have anything more to add on that aspect.
with the age difference and maturity levels of some teens and adults do you think people sub 16 years old could have a loving, meaningful relationship with someone post 16 years of age? it's a question that's been running through my head while reading this post.
 

Sawaa

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I know a girl who's fourteen that could probably pass for a mid-twenties college english-major, online. She - like pretty much everybody - keeps a blog of her thoughts and posts at least four times a week. Only each of her posts is in the ~5,000 word mark. Who'd have thought that someone so young could have so much to say, and to be able to say it so eloquently? Yet society values each of her words on a different scale to someone four years older than she is - and for what reason? Where's the justification in doing so? If she's capable of such thought, such brilliance, why measure it in a different currency? Who gave us that right? But further questions beckon from this - if she's in the possession of such a marvelous understanding of her world and her language; then isn't she then capable of such adult feelings as love? And what if she did fall in love? Truly it's likely it may be with somebody older than she is - somebody who ought to know better; but why then does she deserve to have her heart broken by default?
What did she ever do, to deserve such a fate; except to be brought to the worlds of adult thoughts at an earlier age.

How did this level of black and white slip through the gaps of society? That there's a hard cut-off age at which time everybody must be ready to be an adult - and if you're ready later or earlier than that? Well, too bad. I'm nineteen, soon; what if I were to find myself feeling romantic feelings for this girl, would I then be a pedophile because I've come to admire her? Ought I know better because I'm now classified a 'consenting adult'? In so many ways, she's far more an adult than I'm ready to be.
 

care_a_lot

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I remember a time when I was dating a younger woman when I was a teenager. She was 17, I was 19. I didn't think too much of it because her birthday was in a few months time but I didn't believe it to be right for me to be having sex with her because I was old enough to be classified as a consenting adult at the time.

I understand that people have feelings for little children but to act on them is simply wrong. I felt the same feeling for me even though it was only 2 years difference. Were I to be 40 and her 38 then nobody would care but 17 and 19 caused a different feeling and a different internal reaction in my mind. She wound up going out and being with men rather than with me and we broke up in around 3 weeks because of it. I also couldn't handle her being in the closet when I was so open about myself. Looking back on it I still don't know if I did the right thing or not. I probably shouldn't have been with her in the first place...but does 2 months really make that much difference in a persons life?
 

Charlie

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I agree with what has been said. People are way too quick to hate pedophiles, and think of it as a crime.

You can't police people's thoughts, it's immoral. I don't see a problem with pedophiles having cartoon porn or having stories. I guess that thoughts can lead to actions, but this can be helped if pedophiles could receive help and support so that they wouldn't be tempted to act out their fantasies.

Something on the news I saw last year really annoyed me, they made websites that had violent porn completely illegal. Now this violence isn't real, the sites clearly state this, the 'rape-porn' is done with actors, the other stuff isn't real at all it's just made to look real. Yet they made it illegal.
This seems so illogical! If you want to rape people, I'd rather you be home looking at your computer screen than out hiding in a bush in the park! I mean if there's a good chance of getting caught looking at this porn (and receiving a JAIL SENTENCE!) then you might as well just go out and get the real deal. :(

And who is there to defend pedos? Someone in politics recently said that pedophiles caught with child porn shouldn't always go to jail, there should be a better way of dealing with them. That's all he said... But what the tabloids heard was "Release the pedos!! Let the children suffer! Child molestation is OK!". The NSPCC (children charity) had a go at him saying that it was terrible idea.

Things won't get better because nobody in power will ever do anything about it, because in most people's eyes defending pedos means that you are a pedo.

Although I think that public views might change... I mean people here seem to have the right idea about pedos, but then we are forced to have open minds because a lot of us suffer from having a sexuality we might not have wanted. Anyone seen the brasseye special on pedophiles?
 

ShippoFox

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That reminds me of another thing about drawings/hentai with "child porn"..... some people think the drawings are attractive or whatever but not real kids at all. Sometimes what people imagine seems much better to them than what exists in reality. This doesn't apply to just pedophiles though. I've heard people say they're more attracted to anime/cartoon characters than real people. That could be unhealthy if they stop being attracted to real people, but I bet that's not very common.

Also, technically, pedophiles like pre-pubescent kids. The person technically isn't a pedophile past that stage. There's another word for it, but I don't know what it is. But that's just a technicality. The same laws still protect teens.
 

kitara87

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i agree with everything you guys are saying. if someone thinks about children in a romantic way who am i to care but once they act on it they have crossed the line but that doesnt nessecarily mean that they should go to jail they may need to get some help that a jail wont be able to provide like therapy. also stories, cartoons, and stuff like that are just fine as long as the people dont take it uppon themselves to try any of the stuff in the stories or cartoons with children.


and i believe that the people that are in goverment positions are scared to do anything to defend pedophiles that didnt really do anything wrong because the public has such a bad persona of pedophiles that they will try to kick them out of office. if the public loses their "witch hunt" mentality then the government may be able to get somethig done like sending pedophiles to rehab places instead of letting them rot in jails.
 

ShippoFox

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http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080323-rick-rolled-to-child-porn-youre-a-pedophile-says-fbi.html
http://www.news.com/8301-13578_3-9899151-38.html

Okay, this is WRONG! Someone could trick you.... and then you end up arrested! The guy was actually convicted too! The jury probably heard "pedophile" or "child porn" and instantly decided a guilty verdict without even thinking about the defense's case.

Vosburgh was caught trying to destroy a hard drive and a flash drive, however, and this surely didn't help his case.
That seems strange, but it seems they didn't find any evidence on the flash drive or hard drive anyway.

This is ridiculous.... I can't believe this. This really is a damn witch hunt now! You can easily end up in trouble without having done anything wrong! What if someone creates a virus that sends people to such a URL?! Not to mention what is rumored to happen to pedophiles in prison! This could destroy lives! :eek:
 
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FullMetal

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That sounds completely ridiculous! I agree that fantasies are just that fantasies. So long as they are not acted upon. But therein lies your problem. Have you ever had a fantasy that lays in your mind for always that you'd just LOVE to try this or that and when the chance comes up..just grabbed it? These people might just grab the idea of being with a child and then the chance comes up to get to be with one...sounds pretty scary to me.
To me, you sound completely ridiculous. One of my big fantasies is to kill my science teachers, and believe me, I have had many chances to kill him...you don't see me doing that! Now do you? I hope not...then I would be in jail.

The point I am trying to bring up is that Pedophilia is like any other crime, killing people is bad, stabbing people is bad, but we cant put everyone who says "I am going to kill you!" in jail. Everyone has desires to do something bad, we can not put them in jail for that, it comes down to judgment and action, if they do it, I am all up for putting their asses in jail, if they don't and keep it to fake pictures, leave them the hell alone. I bet you many people want to put us in jail for liking diapers (like we saw in that Christian thread thing) but they can't, nor can we to pedophiles.

(Oh 300th post!)

FullMetal
 

recovery

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I think pedophiles are like those people with diaper fetish. Don't let it rule your life and your OK.

But because of this witch hunt I am afraid to go on porn. Especially now I am older that 18 and technically am now an adult. I have a large number of cute pictures of anime girls. But I really hate pictures taken at 'Strategic angles' and dress them provokatively. It sickens me actually that most pictures I see on the web are of this nature. I think some people are obsessed.

Once it gets to the level of that it is ruleing your life. Even if the person hasn't and won't in future abuse children. It is still a little uncomfortable to know that some guy might be masturbating watching children. I don't feel anyone should have to go through such worry. So I can understand that the public will go OMG PEDO!!!!! Go to prison. But Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. And I think prosecuting anyone based on their thoughts would give me and everyone limited freedom.

I mean, its like saying bomb on a plane. It doesn't mean your a terrorist, but the insecure public would kick you off and accuse you for placing a bomb on the plane.
 
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First, If your a teenager, and you give out information online, you deserve whats coming to you, however kids probably do not know better.

Mom's Friend's Son got on the Sex Offender list because he Mooned his friend and someone reported it to the police.
 
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Honestly I think it's a kink just like everything else, the only problem is that it deals with such a taboo subject.
I don't care if they have desires and fantasies, just don't act upon them. And if they must, it would be better for them to turn to the loli/shota deal instead of dealing with real children.
So in short just because they have those feeling, it doesn't mean they're a bad person, the ones that give in to desires are either weak willed or perverted.
 

Neonite

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With a lot of people, it seems that the connection between pedophilia and child molestation or abuse is so ingrained within the mind, that denying constitutional rights to these people, or anyone even suspected of being one of these people, is no longer discrimination. It's righteousness, apparently. Their first thought after hearing the word would seem to be "evil," or "inhuman," or something of the sort.

This seems to be getting better with this generation, although I'm not sure. Personally, I figure that if their attraction, sexual or no, to children should not be persecuted in and of itself. However, if they indulge in any behavior that harms a child or view photographic porn that harmed an actual child, then it is a crime and should be punished.
 
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