Partners who changed opinions

Lyric

Contributor
Messages
594
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  1. Diaper Lover
I thought i was an over it. Many years, and my desired to wear diapers and act like a baby didn't gave me anything. I think it was cause i was more focused on other things. I had personal trainer for years, and was a lot at the gym and lifting weights. Ended the week with a glass of wine with my now so called ex. I was more into the adult side of me. But i had kept a lot of my ab clothes, and hid it from him. Was afraid he would find them. And i started to dream while i was sleeping that i was taken care of like an adult baby. I dreamed i was wearing diapers again. Luckily i never wet the bed. And i wonder if i talked about in sleep. I started to act childish too, i watched cartoons and listened to children music at Spotify.
It took a long time and more than a few failures and humiliations but I wanted so much to meet a girl with whom I could be both successful and accomplished adult, financially responsible and enjoy wearing diapers, wetting and even occasionally messing in them, having my diapers changed like I was as a kid. I wanted so much to be able to go to bed diapered, sleep with my love, a wake up with wet diapers in the morning next to her. It fianally happened but took 50 years.
 

BBchat

Est. Contributor
Messages
53
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
From my experience, self-moderation and predictability is key. Yes we feel a "need" (impulse) to fully embrace who we are and be fully accepted, but the thing is that all successful couples need concessions. If the spouse feels that today's diapers in private will turn into "I married the freak who smells like poop and acts like a baby in public", then it'll be a dealbreaker every single time. Heck even I wouldn't put up with that. Before feeling like they didn't honour their part of the deal, we need to make sure we are honouring our part (read: the unspoken expectations and limits of our spouse).

I try to make my spouse of 10+ years feel like a princess sometimes, and she tries to be a mommy some other times. I found out the she is ready to accept me, however any hints that my diaper-wearing could grow beyond accepted limits are met with immediate backlash. In that, she has no issues with bedroom wearing, but if I wear outside the house (other than those times she has decided it herself), I can see how uneasy she gets. 24/7 is not an option (not that I would want to anyhow) or #2s for me, but that's the balance of my couple. She has learned to manage me, and I have learned to manage her.
 

BobbiSueEllen

A sweet, Pampered AB toddler girl
Est. Contributor
Messages
3,947
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Sissy
  3. Little
  4. Other
From my experience, self-moderation and predictability is key. Yes we feel a "need" (impulse) to fully embrace who we are and be fully accepted, but the thing is that all successful couples need concessions. If the spouse feels that today's diapers in private will turn into "I married the freak who smells like poop and acts like a baby in public", then it'll be a dealbreaker every single time. Heck even I wouldn't put up with that. Before feeling like they didn't honour their part of the deal, we need to make sure we are honouring our part (read: the unspoken expectations and limits of our spouse).

I try to make my spouse of 10+ years feel like a princess sometimes, and she tries to be a mommy some other times. I found out the she is ready to accept me, however any hints that my diaper-wearing could grow beyond accepted limits are met with immediate backlash. In that, she has no issues with bedroom wearing, but if I wear outside the house (other than those times she has decided it herself), I can see how uneasy she gets. 24/7 is not an option (not that I would want to anyhow) or #2s for me, but that's the balance of my couple. She has learned to manage me, and I have learned to manage her.
I guess as part of my life-lessons learned, this is largely why I choose to not remarry. Having my own personal challenges is enough to contend with; taking on the responsibility of a spouse is something I was evidently not cut out for.

While the single life affords me wider latitude for being a baby in diapers to my heart's content, to follow it to that extent isn't always practical. There are times when wearing a diaper at home, either in big clothing or big toddler clothes, either feels burdensome or may not fit a given moment...in other words, to put on one's big girl pants when one needs to.

So, discretion comes into play. I'm quite willing to Pamper up for bedtime, cuddle my teddy bears in a giant crib with a bottle or binky in my mouth into Sleepy-Bye Land and through the night, but being a crinkly, toddly-waddly little toddler girl will be only the occasional treat for daytime at home.

Regardless, I'm in this alone for the duration.
 

LittleRK

Contributor
Messages
734
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
When I was younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who said she didn’t mind my fetish, and she even encouraged it for a lot of our relationship, but I don’t think she was ever as interested as she let on.

Early on, she would change my diapers, buy me little presents and stuff related to my fetish. Those times were great.

but later in the relationship, she lost interest in the diaper changes and even asking for a diaper started to become more like a chore. I started feeling bad about even asking for a diaper, because it was almost always met with an eye roll and that’s just not how I wanted to live.

towards the end of our relationship (we were together 10 years), I just got to a point where I was tired of my fetish being used against me; it seemed like every time we fought, her default “making up” setting was to offer me a diaper, and it really bugged me that this intimate part of my life was being tied to all of these fights and negative feelings. At the very tail end, I told her that I would like to go back to just putting the diapers on myself and changing by myself, because her involvement was no longer enjoyable for me; we broke up shortly after and she is pursuing a new vanilla relationship; I’m very happy for her, we’re still friends, but I’m even happier to be back out on my own again. It’s strange to live in a relationship where you think you’re accepted, but still walking on eggshells about your fetish.

I guess it also works out for me that I’m still young, I’m only 28 and I don’t have any kids or baggage to account for like the older posters here. I still have my house, a great stable career. For a while, I was on autopilot and going through the doom and gloom of my relationship imploding, thinking I’d never find anyone else that accepts this side of me. But here I am, we broke up in November, three days before my birthday, and now I’m talking with someone who seems really great and fully accepting of my little side, so maybe things aren’t as bad as I thought?
 

LittleAndrea

Est. Contributor
Messages
732
Role
  1. Little
My ex did not know about my little side. We broke up because i felt our realitonship at stagned. And i started to feel more like a housemaid and felt i was always in his way. I am trying to find my new way. Looking to buy an apparment. I had a very good friendship with an dl that became my caregiver long time ago, when i just figured out about adult baby. But i didn't like that he wore diaper. I was the little in the friendship, he should be the adult taking care of me. I am not sure if i will find a "daddy" that is only a daddy. How easy is it?
Having my Daddy full-time was a VERY slow progression. We dated for 5 years, he always knew I was childish and liked things from when I was a kid (Honestly at that point I still didn't really understand myself). We got married after the 5 years and 2 years after that I came clean about being a little. He was very understanding, I told him at that point I just wanted him to know who I was and wasn't asking anything of him, which was the God's honest truth at that point.
About a year ago, so 7 years after the revelation conversation and a relationship of 14 years he offered to play Daddy once in a while. So we set aside some time every Sunday where he gave me a bath and we watched a Disney movie cuddled on the couch. The full-time part is still very new. In fact it was only a couple of weeks ago that he sat me down and asked me how I would feel about him being my Daddy full-time. I mean feeling over the moon is an understatement. (I still work and make the meals. But I dress little full-time and he is Daddy full-time.) We have a little talk about what each of us want pretty much everyday. We add and take away rules as needed. I have voiced nearly daily that I am very scared he is going to change his mind and not want to be my Daddy anymore and go back to the way things were, but he keeps telling me he has never been happier. Not that I wasn't happy before, but now I just don't think I could ever give this up.
So my best advice is to be patient (hopefully it doesn't take you 15 years to get what you want.) and I know this sounds cheesy but communication is key! Like I said we talk pretty much every day about this. I'm also aware and sensitive to what he needs, wants and feels to make sure it's not just him doing stuff for me but me doing things for him too.
 
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BlueGrey

Est. Contributor
Messages
546
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Little
That can't feel good going back and forward on it one minute you are stable the next you arnt

Why does she swap back and fourth?
As long as I seemed to be working on finding a healing solution, she could be somewhat tolerant. It was when I finally said that it doesn't look like this goes away, that she started using terms like perverted and demon-possessed. I have tried to get her to read some of the books available but she chooses not to.
 

ZpyTim

ZpyTim
Est. Contributor
Messages
32
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Little
  4. Incontinent
  5. Carer
  6. Other
As long as I seemed to be working on finding a healing solution, she could be somewhat tolerant. It was when I finally said that it doesn't look like this goes away, that she started using terms like perverted and demon-possessed. I have tried to get her to read some of the books available but she chooses not to.
I hate when that happens. Same thing happened to me.
 

NorGirlBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
297
Role
  1. Adult Baby
Having my Daddy full-time was a VERY slow progression. We dated for 5 years, he always knew I was childish and liked things from when I was a kid (Honestly at that point I still didn't really understand myself). We got married after the 5 years and 2 years after that I came clean about being a little. He was very understanding, I told him at that point I just wanted him to know who I was and wasn't asking anything of him, which was the God's honest truth at that point.
About a year ago, so 7 years after the revelation conversation and a relationship of 14 years he offered to play Daddy once in a while. So we set aside some time every Sunday where he gave me a bath and we watched a Disney movie cuddled on the couch. The full-time part is still very new. In fact it was only a couple of weeks ago that he sat me down and asked me how I would feel about him being my Daddy full-time. I mean feeling over the moon is an understatement. (I still work and make the meals. But I dress little full-time and he is Daddy full-time.) We have a little talk about what each of us want pretty much everyday. We add and take away rules as needed. I have voiced nearly daily that I am very scared he is going to change his mind and not want to be my Daddy anymore and go back to the way things were, but he keeps telling me he has never been happier. Not that I wasn't happy before, but now I just don't think I could ever give this up.
So my best advice is to be patient (hopefully it doesn't take you 15 years to get what you want.) and I know this sounds cheesy but communication is key! Like I said we talk pretty much every day about this. I'm also aware and sensitive to what he needs, wants and feels to make sure it's not just him doing stuff for me but me doing things for him too.
I hope my life will turn up great. I notice i turned into an adult baby when i struggle in life. Got bad results at school when i was a student i went to my room in the student house i was living in. Took a shower, put on a diaper and my comfy pj. Chokolate- milk on a baby bottle, and lied in bed sucking a pacifier and holding my stuffie, crying and watching disneychannel.
 

LittleAndrea

Est. Contributor
Messages
732
Role
  1. Little
I hope my life will turn up great. I notice i turned into an adult baby when i struggle in life. Got bad results at school when i was a student i went to my room in the student house i was living in. Took a shower, put on a diaper and my comfy pj. Chokolate- milk on a baby bottle, and lied in bed sucking a pacifier and holding my stuffie, crying and watching disneychannel.
I really hope that you find someone. I've always been a little I just didn't have a name for it for a long time. I used to buy baby stuff to hold and feel and if anyone would ask about it I would just say I'm saving it for when I have a baby. Easier to get away with when you are a bio female. I've always watched cartoons and still have my pound puppy that I got when I was 4 and still sleep with him every night. I hate to say it sometimes takes a while to find that right person but it does. I didn't get married until I was 29 and like I said it was only a couple of weeks ago that we went full-time before that it was a Sunday or Monday thing only as far as his participation. I was little more often than not.
 

alexbug

Orphaned Wolf Cub
Est. Contributor
Messages
179
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Little
  4. Carer
  5. Other
That's what I'm very scared of. As someone who's been abused in his lifetime, has had some difficulty in finding a partner for reasons outside of ABDL, and who has been alone for quite sometime due to life circumstances, that's my biggest fear. Telling the poor girl that I'm a little and her reacting really badly to it. Some days, I want to explore the dynamic of MDLB with someone. Some days, I'd rather just walk alone until I die because I can't even fathom finding someone who will accept this part of me. I'm scared of being called a freak or blackmailed or publicly humiliated by someone. I've been through enough pain in my life and I've seen several along with my own relationships go to hell in my lifetime. I just hope that I can find the right person. I love myself though, and I can't even accept my fetish being merely tolerated because in my experience, that just opens the door to resentment and abuse and it being used against me. I don't want that in my life anymore.

I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life either and it gets painful some days. It's hard!

I've been a little/ABDL on my own for a while now. It's too late for me to turn back.
 
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NorGirlBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
297
Role
  1. Adult Baby
That's what I'm very scared of. As someone who's been abused in his lifetime, has had some difficulty in finding a partner for reasons outside of ABDL, and who has been alone for quite sometime due to life circumstances, that's my biggest fear. Telling the poor girl that I'm a little and her reacting really badly to it. Some days, I want to explore the dynamic of MDLB with someone. Some days, I'd rather just walk alone until I die because I can't even fathom finding someone who will accept this part of me. I'm scared of being called a freak or blackmailed or publicly humiliated by someone. I've been through enough pain in my life and I've seen several along with my own relationships go to hell in my lifetime. I just hope that I can find the right person. I love myself though, and I can't even accept my fetish being merely tolerated because in my experience, that just opens the door to resentment and abuse and it being used against me. I don't want that in my life anymore.

I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life either and it gets painful some days. It's hard!

I've been a little/ABDL on my own for a while now. It's too late for me to turn back.
Is there someone out there that will change our wet and dirty nappies, and won't get the same back. Nothing about we love them back. I wonder
 

NorGirlBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
297
Role
  1. Adult Baby
Is there someone out there that will change our wet and dirty nappies, and won't get the same back. Nothing about we love them back. I wonder
If i shall get an "daddy" it must be someone that is only a daddy. That can tell me to get to the bedroom when i get home from work.

I had a fantasy when i was younger that i come home from work or school in wet jeans, and "daddy" told me get a shower, and when i went to the bedroom to get dressed after the shower he would be putting me diapers, since i wet my self, and he gave me a pacifier, cause it is only babies that wears diapers, and babies sucks on a pacifier. And i was only allowed to drink from a baby bottle.
 

KittyMerriweather

Est. Contributor
Messages
546
Role
  1. Other
From my experience, self-moderation and predictability is key. Yes we feel a "need" (impulse) to fully embrace who we are and be fully accepted, but the thing is that all successful couples need concessions. If the spouse feels that today's diapers in private will turn into "I married the freak who smells like poop and acts like a baby in public", then it'll be a dealbreaker every single time. Heck even I wouldn't put up with that. Before feeling like they didn't honour their part of the deal, we need to make sure we are honouring our part (read: the unspoken expectations and limits of our spouse).

I try to make my spouse of 10+ years feel like a princess sometimes, and she tries to be a mommy some other times. I found out the she is ready to accept me, however any hints that my diaper-wearing could grow beyond accepted limits are met with immediate backlash. In that, she has no issues with bedroom wearing, but if I wear outside the house (other than those times she has decided it herself), I can see how uneasy she gets. 24/7 is not an option (not that I would want to anyhow) or #2s for me, but that's the balance of my couple. She has learned to manage me, and I have learned to manage her.
Not everyone in this lifestyle wants to be 24/7.

I am now and always have been a time and place for everything type person. Never around others. Private between just my spouse and I. Things that were a hard pass for him (poop) never involved him. I indulged when he was gone, and left no evidence of my kink to be seen when he returned. I was 1000% aware of his limitations, and never once pushed the issue.
His switch from encouraging, to deal breaker still flipped.
 

Curiositykilledthecat

Est. Contributor
Messages
29
Role
  1. Private
That is exactly what we do. Therapist assured me spouse waa just using my "thing" as an easy way out. That sort of made sense. But I see other people claim the same situation happened to them.

Sooooo either the world is fully of flighty individuals just itching to flee ORRRR this diaper thing really is more of a deal breaker than we who live it want to admit.
That's one of my biggest fears in my relationship.
Mind you, I only dated in the kink scene right from the start because it is just a big part of me, not 24/7 but I know I don't want to go back to nilla life.

I know my husband for 8 years but I still struggle with being totally myself kink wise. Knowing that it can be used as an easy way out.
And at the same time I hate myself for even thinking that about my partner.
Because he is just a big chunk of love.
 
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furry121

Stryker The Tigercub
Est. Contributor
Messages
219
Age
33
Role
  1. Babyfur
  2. Diaperfur
  3. Little
  4. Incontinent
Two things that are certain that I've observed in my life are:
  • My fixation on diapers has not changed, and;
  • People do change.
In 1991, my ex and I were freshly engaged and knowing what was ahead, we had a "mutual confession": she stated hers, then I brought up my diapers. After spilling it all, she reflected and said "It seems rather odd but I can handle it. Just don't ask or expect me to change you".

Fair 'nuff. 8 months later, we tied the knot.

And things changed noticeably. Looking back, I think her acceptance was half-bluff, half-expecting this to be a phase that would fade off. Nope...2 years later, she confided to my friend about it (he knew already), saying she couldn't take it anymore...and that "[I was] weird" before trying to seduce him (he told me this once the divorce was finalized...and I trust him)...and she & I separated for a month. It was rough...but we reconciled.

When we got back together, she told me she felt my diapers were "the other woman" in our relationship. I backed off because I loved her...but in 1999 it came back some after I found AB/DL online. The year before, I spent the entire summer in Attends due to urge incontinence brought on by stress. It was tough but we both survived it...now, she was thinking differently, so much as to begin dabbling in liaisons...and felony crime (B&E).

Almost two years after she B&Ed my gramma's house...she left as I began coping with illness which led to my current disability..

She took 8 months and then tried to reconcile...with "terms"; she wanted control of every facet of my life. Then she tried to pressure me with religion. She wouldn't let up and it was clear I could never be what she seemed to need. So...I filed. 29 months later...it was over.

I still love to be in diapers, no less than ever. That didn't change as much as other things about me did. And as other things about my ex changed. Partners can make promises to the moon, but the fact that stuck with me, after considerable distilling by time, is that some things change...some don't. We can't choose or control what. It's part of our differences, part of our lives. Part of life. Risk.

We don't have to like it to any degree but we do just have to accept what we can't change, work to change what we can...and realize risk is everywhere. Just my .000002 Bitcoin. :unsure:
People dont actually change u have to be willing to change most wont if u dont have the selflessness aspect people never want to change for themselves or others because if they did, we wouldnt be human actually we might not even be on earth...


People are selfish, give a junkie an needle over his kid hes going to take the needle, now if he isnt selfish he might take his kid, but he "has to be Willing" ...

The world is a fun place. Full of chaos 😔🕯💀🕯
 

Mal8

This too shall pass
Est. Contributor
Messages
132
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
Having my Daddy full-time was a VERY slow progression. We dated for 5 years, he always knew I was childish and liked things from when I was a kid (Honestly at that point I still didn't really understand myself). We got married after the 5 years and 2 years after that I came clean about being a little. He was very understanding, I told him at that point I just wanted him to know who I was and wasn't asking anything of him, which was the God's honest truth at that point.
About a year ago, so 7 years after the revelation conversation and a relationship of 14 years he offered to play Daddy once in a while. So we set aside some time every Sunday where he gave me a bath and we watched a Disney movie cuddled on the couch. The full-time part is still very new. In fact it was only a couple of weeks ago that he sat me down and asked me how I would feel about him being my Daddy full-time. I mean feeling over the moon is an understatement. (I still work and make the meals. But I dress little full-time and he is Daddy full-time.) We have a little talk about what each of us want pretty much everyday. We add and take away rules as needed. I have voiced nearly daily that I am very scared he is going to change his mind and not want to be my Daddy anymore and go back to the way things were, but he keeps telling me he has never been happier. Not that I wasn't happy before, but now I just don't think I could ever give this up.
So my best advice is to be patient (hopefully it doesn't take you 15 years to get what you want.) and I know this sounds cheesy but communication is key! Like I said we talk pretty much every day about this. I'm also aware and sensitive to what he needs, wants and feels to make sure it's not just him doing stuff for me but me doing things for him too.
Out of interest, if your Daddy was also into occasionally being the little, how would you feel about switching the other way round for short periods? I’d be happy to be a daddy for someone but would need an occasional role switch to fun if it was me. So I’m wondering if I hat would work if I was lucky bough to have a new relationship in the future. Thanks for your post!
 

LittleAndrea

Est. Contributor
Messages
732
Role
  1. Little
Out of interest, if your Daddy was also into occasionally being the little, how would you feel about switching the other way round for short periods? I’d be happy to be a daddy for someone but would need an occasional role switch to fun if it was me. So I’m wondering if I hat would work if I was lucky bough to have a new relationship in the future. Thanks for your post!
I mean that really isn't part of our dynamic. If it's something that he really wanted then of course I would do it without hesitation. Like everything else I'm sure we would sit down and have a discussion about what he wanted. I have a nurturing side too but I use that during cuddle times as his baby girl. I can't imagine that if you are in a relationship where you love each other and you both have the interest in this and you have a really open and honest line of communication I don't think you should have trouble with your little switching once in a while.
I just do better as a little. It's where my natural mind set is.
 

NorGirlBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
297
Role
  1. Adult Baby
Out of interest, if your Daddy was also into occasionally being the little, how would you feel about switching the other way round for short periods? I’d be happy to be a daddy for someone but would need an occasional role switch to fun if it was me. So I’m wondering if I hat would work if I was lucky bough to have a new relationship in the future. Thanks for your post!
I wonder about the opposite. If i get a "daddy", how many will be only a daddy and not being little themself?
 
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