parents found out - sending me to a shrink

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Mornavial

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well in stead of writeing 20 pages on how everything happened I just give u the high points

My parents found out everything...I mean EVERYTHING and thay are now calling me wierd, saying iam not normal and looking at me like I have some desise...I h8 myself now I can't take this and there sending me to shrinks too.I just want them all to drop dead.
 

Monkey

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As absurd as it might be try and keep a cool head on your shoulders, it's understandable that you're upset but the more distressed you act the more your parents will assume that this behaviour is damaging your mental health. Try and behave maturily, the shrink may gather that you're sensible and understand your behaviour. Saying you hate yourself won't do anyone any good, it'll only support your parents assumption what you're doing is wrong and that you're ashamed of yourself which you definitely shouldn't be.
 

Trevor

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Sorry to hear about your situation, Celtic. I've been through a version of that myself and it's really hard to take. All the self-loathing and wishing that everyone would 'drop dead' is normal under the circumstances, but you can and will get past that. I don't know how much there was for your parents to find, but obviously it was enough to really mess things up.

Monkey's advice is sound. Try to be more together than you feel. Consider that a pyschiatrist is likely to be your ally in this situation. A professional is going to be more objective and and have access to greater resources on the subject, so this is likely a good thing. However, even with all the help in the world, it's probably a bit much to expect your parents to be all smiles about this.

You need to think ahead and decide how you'd like this to play out. Is this something you'd really want to share with your parents, even if they learned to be accepting? Think past the next few weeks and try to look years ahead. Would you rather they know about this previously private side of you? It feels good to 'come clean' and all, but part of being older is learning what information about yourself you want to let out and to whom. You might think it's all over because they've found your stuff, but I'd guess it's very likely that if you give indications that this is a passing phase, they'll buy it over time. To go that way means that you'd need to really live it, so if you think you can't go without until you're on your own, you've got a problem.

It's your future; think carefully about it.
 

Peachy

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I agree with the other two guys: Keep your cool. Your parents just don't understand why you're doing this, and exactly what kind of impact it has on you. They're just assuming the worst and obviously want to help you, since they're taking you to a shrink.
Your only option really is to play along and see what the shrink thinks about the whole issue. Maybe he'll be more understanding than your parents and will help mediate between you and your parents. The shrink has a more professional and calm understanding of TBism than your parents, whose reaction was probably too emotional and too negative.
However, in addition to the shrink, you will have to show your parents that you have been and continue to be a responsible young man. There's no point convincing your parents that TBism is "normal"; because it's not. THe best you can hope for is that they understand that it's part of you and that you require the occasional TB activity to be the person you are and to be successful in the things you do. If you succeed in school, life and all your other activities, your parents lose any right to complain about you ;)

Peachy
 

Mornavial

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I have already gone to the shrink he took my parents side... And my parents know all about TBs and DLs...thay just plain h8 me for it + thay have taken my laptop to try stop me going onto this site...but I still have my iPod to post on...I dont know if my parents even want to help me because everything thay have done so far has made things worse and made me h8 everyone around me
 

Darkfinn

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I despise parents for thinking that being AB/DL is somehow our fault.

It's not something you can control... or turn on and off... it's just the way you are.

Would my life be a lot simpler if I didn't have to deal with the desire to wear diapers every single day? Most definately so. But that would be denying part of who I am... and I just can't do that.

Most parents don't understand that there are much worse things for teens these days to be into. You want to wear diapers and be loved and supported... what's so wrong about that? You're not out there in a gang shooting up stores, robbing houses, stealing cars, and rapeing girls.
 

Martin

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Like people said, what ever you do: keep calm! Respond to problems calm. And try not to worry too much. Worrying wont help.

It might be an idea to lie low. Make sure that your parents have no idea you're still into it and work from there.

Don't blame yourself or go "what if'ing" it'll only make you more upset about it which wont help, only work against you.
 

010Daniel010

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What exactly did you talk about with the shrink? Obviously the conversation centered around TBDL related activities, and you said that he sided with your parents, but did you get a chance to adequately describe what infantilism is? I find it hard to believe that a legitimate psych would shut down your ideas like that, they should have had experience in this kind of thing before.
 

Monkey

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I dont know if my parents even want to help me because everything thay have done so far has made things worse and made
I think you might be misunderstanding your parents, from there perspective helping you would be to take away your laptop and attempting to stop you from gaining access to this website, that's what any rational, caring parent would do. They're trying to protect you from something they don't understand. Be honest and act responsible to the shrink, acknowledge that they're trying to help you. Assuming that it isn't make them aware that infantilism doesn't affect your ability to be a normal teenager, perform well at school...etc.
 

DiaperdBrat87

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and if the shrinks are as professional as they say they are, just explain to them, you enjoy what you enjoy, you're not a pedophile, you don't desire anything like that. Tell them to look it up online, they'll find a lot of people just like you out there.
 

Mornavial

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my parents say thay know all about infintism...but to be honest I just dont want to talk to them or to a stupid shrink...my parents are the kind of people who expect u to be perfect and dont care what u think...I know everyones saying "there doing what thay think is gd for me" but tell me how can calling me wierd help me!!!! Like...come on WTF
 

010Daniel010

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Maybe they're hoping to scare it out of you. Almost triggering self loathing to an extent where you drop the fetish and become, in their eyes, normal. But I doubt it.
 

Monkey

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my parents say thay know all about infintism...but to be honest I just dont want to talk to them or to a stupid shrink...my parents are the kind of people who expect u to be perfect and dont care what u think...I know everyones saying "there doing what thay think is gd for me" but tell me how can calling me wierd help me!!!! Like...come on WTF
Like it or not if you don't communicate with your parents or your shrink your situation will not improve. As for calling your 'weird' well, this behaviour is weird. Your parents raise you expecting you to be like the boy next door, flawless, that's just parent ignorance for you! Every parent that loves their child is the same. Maybe their trying to make your realize how odd your behaviour is expecting you'll put a stop to it. Are you sure the term is being used to insult you? It isn't the best logic by any means but it's definitely understandable.
 
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Okay Celtic, first off sorry to hear aboutyour troubles. Second of all I have gone through basically the same thing when I was a little bit younger than you. I was 14 and after 2 years of hiding in secret about being aware of being an infantilist, I could not stand it anymore, I had to tell someone. So I ended up telling the closest people to me, my parents. BIG MISTAKE! Now I know you did not tell your parents exactly but what happen after this is very similar to your situation. They basically thought I was mentally ill and sent me to several different psychologist over the next year and a half until right before I was 16. Eventually I talked them out of going by proving to them I can not help it and there is no cure to make it go away so that they were wasting their time. So i suggest you make your parents realize this as soon as possible. Then maybe they will at least stop making you go to shrink, and if your lucky, replace the stuff they stole from you (don't count on that one haha). Okay so here is how you do this...
When you go the the shrink next time ask him these qeustions...

1.) Have you ever had another teen/adult baby or diaper lover as patient?
I bet he will say no.
2.) Then ask him What do you know about these kinds of people and where did you get this information.

I garentee he knows very little to none information about people like us. Out of all the abut 6 shrinks I went to, only ONE heard of it which was a sexual psychologist so he was expected to know it.
Anyways if he answers yes to any of those qeustions then proceed with these qeustions...

3.) Is it true that you can NOT cure someone of this type to stop desiring this lifestyle?
He should say yes that is true but if he says no then he is BSing you and thats pretty f**ed up and I would refuse to go back to him. Although if he is a real psychologist with a doctor degree he would probably bring up some kind of hypnotized brain washing thing you could try, I was offered that but turned it down. I would not try that if I was you, too risky, but thats up to you. Then finally is he says thats true then ask him this qeustion....
4.) So if I can not be cured and I am happy with who I am, and it does not interfer with my life then what am I doing here? No offense but I am honestl wasting my time.

Anyways so if he knows about infantilist a good bit and admits that it can't be cured then get him to tell your parents that and that when you be like to your parents "See I told you, it is just the way I am, so leave me alone, your wasting your time." Then they should give up.

If the shrink is pretty dumb about it then tell them that and say "How am I supposed to be helped by someone who does not even know about it?" It would make your parents look pretty ignorant.

Anyways good luck and try all that, it should work, write down the qeustions so you don't forget. It just makes me so angry when parents do this. :mad:
 

Mornavial

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thx for the advice everyone (eclipes mainly for the step by step guide on how to get ur parents off ur bk) I realy apreceate it guys =D
 
B

baby kiffer

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Another issue that has not been mentioned, yet, has been honesty.

When my parents found out about my interests here, one of the biggest issues concerned honesty. They were more angry at me for keeping it a secret than they were at me for having these interests.

Of course, they also tried to cure me, and like several have said here, it took them a couple of years to figure out that this is not a part of me that will go away any time soon. Currently, they accept me, but we have had to make agreements with each other regarding my infantile activities. (at least its better than nothing!)

Anyways, I would strongly suggest you investigate your parent's views on honesty...are they more aggravated that you kept this secret from them, than for other reasons?

You may want to consider "sucking-up" to them and apologizing for keeping this secret. I am sure they will appreciate that, and it may help mend the bond with your parents.
 

Ryan_d

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I think this is the best thing I can do for you right now!

*HUG*
I will always be here for hugs if you need them!
 
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