Panic attacks over bras and panties

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Afterburner

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So I haven't tried on bras and panties in over 20 years. The urge just kind of went dormant for a while.

But recently I went to the store and bought lots of bras and panties and I've been wearing them. It feels so good.

Right now I am working on the shame and embarrassment over it. I know intellectually that there is nothing wrong with it and lots of men do it. But I have been having some panic attacks over the shame.

It doesn't help that I live with my parents. I have already told them about some of my fetishes, and they were more than supportive, saying that "there is nothing you can tell us that will make us love you less." But I right now I just wear them when they go to bed. I wish I had my own house so I could wear them as I please.

I think another thing I'm scared of is that my body is going to desire it all the time. I don't think it will, it's probably just the urge that came about from not doing it for over 20 years.

The reason I'm scared of my body desiring it all the time is that I REALLY don't want to wear them in public. Like I said I don't think my body will need it 24/7, but I'm so paranoid.
 

Elenwen

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Sorry, I probably shouldn't say that, especially here, but really, why do you guys even get these urges?.. I mean, I've never heard of any girls, who ever wanted to wear mens' things. I mean "wanted", really, as a fetish... Because otherwise I myself have quite a few things, that are sold and mens', like hoodies, shirts... But that's a bit different from you guys... I just don't get it, sorry...
 

CuddleWoozle

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I have a men's suit hanging on the back of my door that I like to wear sometimes. It just makes me feel all dapper and fancy. And no, a women's suit wouldn't do the same thing. Dunno what it is, I just like it. I get all fancied up like a gangster from the 20's just for the hell of it.

I'm guessing the bra/panty thing is a similar concept. In the realm of fetishes, wanting to wear frilly womens' underclothes is one of the least offensive ones. XD I'm cool with it, as long as you aren't doing anything crazy to get yourself in trouble, like panty raids or snatching someone elses' underpants from their laundry. But that's less about the underwear and more about the larceny that bugs me.

As to why guys like it, who knows? Most of them are probably about as capable of pinning down where they got this urge as a lgbt is of being able to tell you 'why they are gay'.
 

KimbaWolfNagihiko

Pokemon Trainer in, err, Training... Pants
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I generally prefer men's clothes to women's. The men's section has cartoon t-shirts, the women's has blouses with necklines so low your boobs practically fall out. Not a fetish thing to me, just what I'm more comfortable wearing as a probably gay woman and a baby boy.

I also have a bit of an urge to wear men's briefs, but I want ones with cartoon characters like they have for little boys.
 

CuddleWoozle

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I generally prefer men's clothes to women's. The men's section has cartoon t-shirts, the women's has blouses with necklines so low your boobs practically fall out. Not a fetish thing to me, just what I'm more comfortable wearing as a probably gay woman and a baby boy.

I also have a bit of an urge to wear men's briefs, but I want ones with cartoon characters like they have for little boys.
Never wanted to wear the undies, but I have gotten a couple of pairs of boxers with cartoon characters on them that I wear under my t-shirt nightgowns so no one sees anything.

And I second you on the blouses. Dangit, I don't even really LIKE having sweater puppies much less having them parade around falling out. :p

(For the uninitiated: sweater puppies = boobies)
 

Argent

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The reason I'm scared of my body desiring it all the time is that I REALLY don't want to wear them in public. Like I said I don't think my body will need it 24/7, but I'm so paranoid.
Panic attacks are the worst and not to be taken lightly buddy.

Life is a journey, some parts are a really hard slog, some parts we feel like we are going in circles, some parts we feel like it’s a boxing ring and we are fighting ourselves... I think maybe the hardest part of the journey is coming to accept yourself.

If you don’t intentionally hurt anyone else what you wear, where you wear it and how you feel while wearing it is part of you and you should never let fear of anyone else’s “moral compass” guide you.
 

LimeBloodedNoir

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(Idk if i belong here because im a cis woman rip)
But! My advice is go with a sports bra! You cant see anything under the shirts! And panties under most males pants dont show that well!

One more thing I would advise is trying the bras on in the dressing room beforehand- Just to make sure everything is alright up there.
 

CuddleWoozle

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(Idk if i belong here because im a cis woman rip)
But! My advice is go with a sports bra! You cant see anything under the shirts! And panties under most males pants dont show that well!

One more thing I would advise is trying the bras on in the dressing room beforehand- Just to make sure everything is alright up there.
Yeah, there is NOTHING worse than an ill-fitting bra. XD I've had some that were too big and they just flapped around like some sort of dumb slingshot-shirt. (And if you laughed at that, know this: I have used a bra as a slingshot to shoot dirty socks at family members.)

And I'm cis female, too. I don't think that giving decent advice about bra and panty selection is out of bounds. :3

I mean, if I were wanting to purchase a jock strap or something I would hope that some cis guys would chime in with their experiences. ;D

(ALSO: IF anyone tried to PM me and it got bounced, I cleaned out my over-stuffed inbox. LOL)
 

Lilynyan

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Hi, I registered on this forum just so I could reply to this. :)

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are not alone.

I've been exactly where you are. I had panic attacks for years over my lingerie fetish. In my case it came from heaps of internalized shame and self-hatred, none of which I deserved... and you don't either. If wearing bras and panties makes you feel good, in any kind of way, go for it! If you want to wear them all the time, that's totally okay and you should totally do it! You'll have to experiment with layering clothes to hide a regular bra, but you can also wear bralettes or sports bras as previously suggested and they'll blend very well under your boy clothes. Something I also learned after I eventually came out as trans and started transitioning is, the general public is shockingly unobservant of the world around them. If your favorite panties give you VPL (visible panty line) no one will ever notice or say anything, I promise.

Follow your heart, wherever it takes you, because that's where it comes from. You're not sick, a freak, a pervert, or anything else that society or your family have led you to believe you are... you're you, you're valid, and you deserve to be happy and enjoy your pretty undies. <3 There's a great community over at hewearspanties.com and I highly recommend joining the forum there and reaching out to some people... I found both support and validation there when I needed it the most.
 

Karit

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You have nothing to feel shame or embarrassed about.
Many guys (including myself) have worn women's clothing at some point.
It's a fetish. Just like wearing diapers for some of us is a fetish.
We all have unusual urges that come and go during our lives.
If anything, this makes you sound "normal" compared to those in denial.
If I may give you some advice on the subject...
Don't binge and purge. When you no longer are into it. Store them away.
You'll save a lot of money if you just put them away and out of site.
Also, try wearing women's boy-shorts and sport bras.
I find them a lot more comfortable to wear as a guy.
Boy-shorts will give you a little added room in front where you need it.
Sports bras are more flat and you won't have too much cup room.
Remember this most of all...
If you're not hurting yourself or someone else, it's likely okay to do.
 

OptimusPrime

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You need to talk to a therapist to help you sort out what your feeling and reason behind why you're wearing women's clothing. Is it a sexual fetish, gender identity issue or something else. You're body won't start to need womens clothing 24/7, needs and desires come from the mind. That's why you'll need a therapist to help you sort things out. I'm MtF trans and I can assure you, that unless you develop large breasts, your body won't develop the need for a bra 24/7. Even with large breasts it's debatable.
 

SissyKathy1950

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Actually the best way to get over the shame and embarrassment IS to wear them in public. The panties are no big deal if you have pants on. Wear a heavy shirt over the bras until you get tired of those heavy shirts (it'll happen faster than you think) I wear double cloth nighttime diapers and LOUD plastic panties under my dresses in public, and I'm a guy..
 

twinky

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I have A cup size breasts because I have been taking estrogen for many years because I like having breasts and large aureoles; because estrogen shrinks my enlarged prostate which allows me to urinate normally rather than ten times during the day and six times during the night, because I like having breasts, because I don't want to get prostate cancer, and because I like having breasts :)

I wear sports bras and I have seven or eight of them.

Nike make the best sports bras IMHO.

I no longer have fetishes, and at sixty three I'm finally what I always was in the absence of my fetishes.

I often miss my fetishes though :(

Fetishes are fun.

The bra and lace panties fetish :)

Yum!

I get the impression that most women don't get fetishes? Or am I wrong about that?
 

CuddleWoozle

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I get the impression that most women don't get fetishes? Or am I wrong about that?
Some do, some don't. But I don't think ladies get as many fetishes for their own undies as guys do because we're constantly exposed to them and there's really no stigma attached for a lady wearing 'the devils' panties'. XD

There's a story that goes with that...one of my cousins snuck out and bought a pair of red silk panties with black lace because she saw them and thought that they were beautiful. Her mom didn't approve of 'sexy' undies for her teen aged daughters. My cousin would wear them and then would sneak and do a load of laundry to wash them and one day her mom was being helpful and took the stuff out of the dryer. She found the red panties and started screaming at my cousin. XD She told her "You can't wear these! THESE ARE THE DEVILS' PANTIES!" And ever since she told me that story every time I see a red silky/lacy pair of undies I start laughing about it. I guess the devil wears panties!
 

Lilynyan

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I get the impression that most women don't get fetishes? Or am I wrong about that?
Not true at all... there are tons of kinky women out there, but you don't hear from them in online world as frequently as men because most online kink forums (like this one) are dominated by men and many women just don't feel comfortable discussing kinks and fetishes in a "men's space." Also the way men express kinks and fetishes is often very different from the way women do... there's usually less voyeurism in women's kink expression, for one.

Trans women are a little different because we lived as men for part of our lives and we "get it," to an extent. But even I feel uncomfortable here and on other ABDL forums sometimes, and I wish dearly there was a femme/women's-only space to participate in.
 

Cottontail

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Sorry, I probably shouldn't say that, especially here, but really, why do you guys even get these urges?.. I mean, I've never heard of any girls, who ever wanted to wear mens' things. I mean "wanted", really, as a fetish... Because otherwise I myself have quite a few things, that are sold and mens', like hoodies, shirts... But that's a bit different from you guys... I just don't get it, sorry...
I'm sure there are lots of different reasons. For me, in high school, wearing bras and panties was an autoerotic thing. It's probably an oversimplification to put it this way, but: I wanted sex, wanted a girl in "that way," so I made myself the girl and sort of played both sides of it. It was fun, and went on for a couple of years. Pretty soon after starting college, though, I became sexually active and the bra/panty thing started fading away. The diapers didn't, though. :rollseyes:
 

normalguy

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Sorry, I probably shouldn't say that, especially here, but really, why do you guys even get these urges?.. I mean, I've never heard of any girls, who ever wanted to wear mens' things. I mean "wanted", really, as a fetish... Because otherwise I myself have quite a few things, that are sold and mens', like hoodies, shirts... But that's a bit different from you guys... I just don't get it, sorry...
Almost every girlfriend everywhere has worn her boyfriend's shirt on a Sunday morning. Almost all professional (office) women everywhere have worn pants (trousers) to work and nobody thinks twice. I have had several girlfriends who wore a clean pair of my boxer shorts after being caught short, and they all commented how comfy they were. I even had a female friend at school borrow and wear my tuxedo. I know several women who intentionally wear spicy underwear under their office clothes, to make them feel powerful and super feminine while at work (reason given "if only they knew what I was wearing underneath....")

As for why some men get urges to wear pretty things? Well, look at guys clothing! Flannel. Jeans. Shirt. Tie. That's it. Where's the thrill? Or, if they are like me, and want to experience those forbidden-for-men feelings of femininity, vulnerability and softness, that's one way they can do it.

- - - Updated - - -
 

HeronimusM

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i think there are no problems at all with buying lingerie and wearing it, everyone has a somewhat oposite sex side who knocks on a door at times.

i'm diagnosed Genderdysphoric and and i'm a transgendered person.

binge and purge episodes are perfectly normal i think.
i've made a huge step, and getting self acceptance over the whole genderthing...
i've contacted knitted knockers, for a pair of wool knockers and called a local lingerie store to get fitted with good and well fitting lingerie, this makes the experience soooo much better.
sorry getting off topic.

just try to feel good while wearing, and as others mentioned don't do illegal stuff
 

Blastingstarfish

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I generally prefer men's clothes to women's. The men's section has cartoon t-shirts, the women's has blouses with necklines so low your boobs practically fall out. Not a fetish thing to me, just what I'm more comfortable wearing as a probably gay woman and a baby boy.

I also have a bit of an urge to wear men's briefs, but I want ones with cartoon characters like they have for little boys.
Agree, men's clothes are more comfortable to wear. It's sometimes tiring to wear clothes which are hugging you so tightly.
 
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