Old baby…

[Pierre]

As I have just turned 60, I realise that I am finding it increasingly difficult to accept the image of that old baby reflected in the mirror. Growing old with this fantasy is a difficult ordeal... I am terribly envious of this generation which was born with the Internet, and which has not known, as I have, the solitude, the isolation, all the questions of the ABDLs who, for many years, felt very alone and unable to communicate. Today, with age and hindsight, I want above all and more than ever to find a way out, a therapy that will help me to move on, to overcome this addiction, even if it often offered moments of pure happiness. I have just turned sixty and it is time to grow up.

 

[warmfeeling]

As I have just turned 60, I realise that I am finding it increasingly difficult to accept the image of that old baby reflected in the mirror. Growing old with this fantasy is a difficult ordeal... I am terribly envious of this generation which was born with the Internet, and which has not known, as I have, the solitude, the isolation, all the questions of the ABDLs who, for many years, felt very alone and unable to communicate. Today, with age and hindsight, I want above all and more than ever to find a way out, a therapy that will help me to move on, to overcome this addiction, even if it often offered moments of pure happiness. I have just turned sixty and it is time to grow up.

Hello and welcome. I’m 60 this year, it was only 6months ago when I really wanted to start wearing more often again, I’ve been married for 29 years, I only dabble maybe once are twice a year in the last 30 years, I’ve only just told my wife about my love for wearing nappies. You’re never too old my friend. I’m loving it

 

[Cottontail]

Welcome, @Pierre. I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I'm 47, and although I'm happy to look in a mirror when dressed as an adult, my appearance in a diaper and onesie increasingly amplifies the discrepancy between the age of my being and the age of my desire. Mirror avoidance is the only answer I've come up with so far, heh. Sigh... I can also remember those pre-internet years, though they were obviously shorter for me. As you surely did, I "knew" I was the only one who had these desires. They were too strange and unique to be anything but mine alone. I was sure glad to be wrong about that!

As a group we tend to preach acceptance and embrace, but as you’ve been at this longer than I have it would be presumptuous of me to launch right into that. Doubtless some of us have managed to separate ourselves from this stuff, but if there’s anything like a recipe for doing that, nobody’s come back to share it. If this is a source of real unhappiness for you and you haven’t already done so, you might consider discussing it with a professional therapist.

In any case, I hope you find the forums helpful. They’ve certainly been that for me.

 

[BenNevis]

Welcome to the site!

I'm sorry to read that you're stuggling with this part of yourself. I would echo strongly the what @Cottontail has said and maybe suggest considering working though some of this with a qualified therapist. Many of us here have struggled with this part of ourselves and you're definately not the only one to have expereinced thoughts like that. I hope you find this site useful to you.

 

[chamberpot]

Welcome to the forum Pierre, I am almost 69 I have set a age limit for myself and if I am still doing this at 90 then i will make an effort to change my ways ..well at least change when needed.

 

[Pierre]

Thank you very much for your answers and support. I have experienced, and still do, moments of relaxation, comfort and extreme pleasure with the baby inside me, and I have been extraordinarily lucky to meet a loving, understanding and tolerant woman who encourages me not to repress anything. So you're probably wondering, with the luck he has, why would he want to get rid of it? Two reasons: the first, indeed, is that the image the mirror reflects back to me is this increasingly embarrassing and unpleasant mismatch between the older, each and every day older man pointing at my face in the mirror, and the increasingly ridiculous and embarrassing contrast with the nappies and baby panties he's wearing. But above all, I realise with time the incredible amount of energy that this consumes in us : in expectations, in desire, in night and day thinking about it, in money too (it's a pleasure that costs a lot of money), in frustration, in fear of being discovered, the list is long... I'd sincerely like to know what kind of man I'd become if all this energy was used for something else. That seems to me an excellent motivation to try a therapy. Having said that, I've already seen therapists and each time it was a resounding failure so if anyone has a lead, I'm interested.

 

[steviet]

As I have just turned 60, I realise that I am finding it increasingly difficult to accept the image of that old baby reflected in the mirror. Growing old with this fantasy is a difficult ordeal... I am terribly envious of this generation which was born with the Internet, and which has not known, as I have, the solitude, the isolation, all the questions of the ABDLs who, for many years, felt very alone and unable to communicate. Today, with age and hindsight, I want above all and more than ever to find a way out, a therapy that will help me to move on, to overcome this addiction, even if it often offered moments of pure happiness. I have just turned sixty and it is time to grow up.

I understand completely the loneliness and isolation that being a diaper lover has/was for you. Not to be a "debbie downer", but its highly unlikely that your diaper life can be overcome and be put behind you. It is possible to go "cold turkey" and refrain from diapers, etc, but you are likely to think about it always and in a moment of weakness you break down and start again. I have searched online for psychiatric help and from what I've read, we that have this fetish will never be rid of it.
I just saw your recent post that your SO has an understanding heart. Wonderful!! That is geat news!! You are so blessed to have a partner who is willing to understand you if that is what she is saying. It is always good news when one of us is able to be open and free with a wife or SO. Let us know how things go.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Welcome, @Pierre. I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I'm 47, and although I'm happy to look in a mirror when dressed as an adult, my appearance in a diaper and onesie increasingly amplifies the discrepancy between the age of my being and the age of my desire. Mirror avoidance is the only answer I've come up with so far, heh. Sigh... I can also remember those pre-internet years, though they were obviously shorter for me. As you surely did, I "knew" I was the only one who had these desires. They were too strange and unique to be anything but mine alone. I was sure glad to be wrong about that!

As a group we tend to preach acceptance and embrace, but as you’ve been at this longer than I have it would be presumptuous of me to launch right into that. Doubtless some of us have managed to separate ourselves from this stuff, but if there’s anything like a recipe for doing that, nobody’s come back to share it. If this is a source of real unhappiness for you and you haven’t already done so, you might consider discussing it with a professional therapist.

In any case, I hope you find the forums helpful. They’ve certainly been that for me.

Mirror avoidance...sigh. I want more than anything to just be an actual kid again forever. Then you couldn't get me away from a mirror.

 

[ianwee]

Hello Pierre. I'm 61 and have been a DL, etc, for well over forty years ... but I don't feel like it's time to grow up just yet. nHaving recently retired from full-time work I feelI now have more opportunbities to enjoy myself and enjoy more 'pure happiness'. Maybe when You've seen how other people here feel, you might start to feel that it isn't necessary to grow up just yet!