Occasional, Sporadic Bedwetting

Elmo

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My bedwetting patterns are extremely unpredictable; I can go for weeks at time without wetting the bed, and then wake up every day soaked.

I don't wet frequently enough to justify diapers. My "occasional, sporadic" bedwetting will become "daily, diaper-dependent" bedwetting if I wear diapers. My bed might be dry, but then I'll throw away any night time continence I once had.

However, it's not infrequent enough for me to ditch the rubber sheets. The amount of laundry I have to do is a pain!

Does anyone else share my frustrations with occasional bedwetting?
 
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slimjiminy

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I am in a similar boat in that it doesn't happen all of the time. Rather than invest in a crystal ball, I wear a brief and plastic pants to bed every night. Yes, it is embarrassing at first, but this way, the bed doesn't suffer (except for leaks). The side-benefit of this, is that it saves you from having to get up, resulting in a better night's sleep.

The unpredictable nature of incontinence forces us to make these choices.

Another problem for many including myself, is that fecal accidents are difficult to predict. So when away from home for any length of time or in a highly public setting, I wear a brief that is suitable for full fecal containment. I'd much rather discard a diaper when I get home, than be noticeably covered in diarrhea in a very public setting. And don't forget that you have to sit in it to drive home! Thankfully, those accidents don't happen often for me, but they are a risk I have to take seriously.

So if in doubt, diaper up! This is perhaps one of the more difficult aspects of acceptance.
 
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Elmo

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slimjiminy said:
I wear a brief and plastic pants to bed every night. Yes, it is embarrassing at first, but this way, the bed doesn't suffer (except for leaks).
My main issue isn't the diaper, but the fact that wearing to bed will most certainly make me a full on bedwetter. I know, because I did that at first. My occasional problem became an everyday thing.

So, being a bit worried that diapers made the issue worse, I stopped wearing at night. However, it never improved past "occasional bedwetting". I know that I should just wear the diaper to bed, save the laundry, and stop fighting what is a lost cause for me. But I'm afraid of losing my night time continence and what that brings.

EDIT: Changed the quote
 
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ltaluv

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I can relate to the frustration of having occasional problems. My problems come and go depending on when my medical problems are flaring up and where I am in the treatment cycle, so sometimes I can go weeks without an accident and other times they're a daily occurrence. It makes it hard to plan and manage.

Have you brought this up with your doctor? I know I probably sound like a broken record sometimes, but it's always worth discussing incontinence issues. There may not be much they can do, but you don't know unless you ask.
 

Elmo

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ltaluv said:
Have you brought this up with your doctor? I know I probably sound like a broken record sometimes, but it's always worth discussing incontinence issues. There may not be much they can do, but you don't know unless you ask.
To be honest, I haven't seen my doctors in a while. I just haven't gotten around to making an appointment. However, there are a few unrelated things I need to bring up with them anyways. This is one of those things too, I guess.
 

tiron101

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Inconsistent incontinence is frustrating! I used to have a lot of wet and dry streaks of days or weeks. During that time I mostly went without protection and wet the bed. Eventually it started feeling like it was becoming a lost cause for me too. Finally I gave in to wearing protection every night and resigned myself to nightly wetting whether I woke up or not. When I finally gave in to it, I started sleeping much better and waking up less during the night, doing more wetting while asleep (or not remembering it).
 
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LaLoneDigi

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As a former bedwetter I can relate. My last couple years of bedwetting was very sporadic. I'd go months without an accident and then randomly wet the bed for a week straight. Even though it's been years, I still worry when I sleep over at a friends house that I might relapse.

If it started up again I would probably buy rubber sheets and a start wearing nighttime diapers. Goodnites tend to leak on me.
 
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bedwetterdavid

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I was a consistent bedwetter until almost 13, but puberty seemed to take it away completely. I don’t think I had a single accident between the ages of 13 and 17.

But it turns out I also was a sporadic bedwetter. I joined the Marine Corps at 17 and experienced probably five or six bedwetting episodes during Boot Camp, most likely due to being extremely exhausted. Somehow I got away with it with only my bunk mate finding out, and it was never an issue after that for the rest of my time in the military.

Then in my early 20s, I got married and I had another accident. Soaked the bed, I was humiliated, but my wife was very understanding. From then on, I would have an accident every other year or so, but started to also have those times where I woke up in a panic because I realized I was peeing and limited the damage to wet underwear.

About six years ago we were about to buy an expensive mattress, and after a bedwetting accident we both decided maybe it would be better for me to wear diapers at night “just in case” rather than risk destroying it. Even sporadic accidents like that can really ruin a mattress.

What OP described happened exactly to me. Within 3 months I was waking up in a wet diaper once a week, and within 6 months it was probably 3 to 5 times a week. I don’t know the science behind it, but it seemed like my mind subconsciously knew I was protected and didn’t bother to wake me up anymore when my bladder sent the signals.

Most of the time I don’t mind being back in diapers, there’s a sense of comfort and nostalgia that comes from my early bedwetting days. But given the choice, I would definitely prefer to not have to worry about it. My wife is still awkward about it, so she doesn’t really talk about them or touch me when I’m wearing them. It has really affect in spontaneity in our sex life. I’ve tried to encourage her that even if I am “ready for bed” that doesn’t mean we can’t make love, but that doesn’t seem to work out.

So ultimately, yes, I understand OPs concern and definitely recommend talking to a doctor. Apparently I have issues with retaining urine, so the Urologist now has me on Afluzosin which is supposed to relax the bladder neck. It might be something as simple as a pill that takes away any risk of intermittent accidents.
 
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Unorthodoxengineer

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I'm not convinced that wearing napies in bed will make you more incontenent. [however, it may be for some people? I can only speak from my experience]

I have a similar issue - wetting maybe one night in ten, but it's hard to predict. Defititely worse when I'm tired or stressed though.
I just got to a point where wearing nappies in bed was the least-worst option - so now I wear them every night. When I wet accidentally in the night, I'll also wear a thinner nappy during the next day until it subsides. Usually it's only a day or two - but sometimes weeks or months.

I wish it were different & I could go back to 'normal' - but given the range of things I could have wrong with me, this doesn't seem too terrible.
 
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slimjiminy

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bedwetterdavid said:
About six years ago we were about to buy an expensive mattress, and after a bedwetting accident we both decided maybe it would be better for me to wear diapers at night “just in case” rather than risk destroying it. Even sporadic accidents like that can really ruin a mattress.
Very true that, and wives tend to prefer that things reliably stay dry. o_O That's how I ended up in overnight diapers.
bedwetterdavid said:
What OP described happened exactly to me. Within 3 months I was waking up in a wet diaper once a week, and within 6 months it was probably 3 to 5 times a week. I don’t know the science behind it, but it seemed like my mind subconsciously knew I was protected and didn’t bother to wake me up anymore when my bladder sent the signals.
Apart from a couple times as a kid, I never had bedwetting issues. But after my urge incontinence began, I wore pull-ups when out for shopping for any length of time and got used to using them when the urge hit.

After about 9 months, I think this was a factor in my overnight accidents when I had a deep sleep. I think my subconscious registered the fact that wetting was now ok. After this transition to overnight diapers, I have accepted it without much resistance. It allows me to have a good night's sleep without having to get up multiple times a night.
 
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EcoIncon

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tiron101 said:
Inconsistent incontinence is frustrating! I used to have a lot of wet and dry streaks of days or weeks. During that time I mostly went without protection and wet the bed. Eventually it started feeling like it was becoming a lost cause for me too. Finally I gave in to wearing protection every night and resigned myself to nightly wetting whether I woke up or not. When I finally gave in to it, I started sleeping much better and waking up less during the night, doing more wetting while asleep (or not remembering it).
I also slept better once I started wearing a diaper. My issue originally was one more of waking up 6-8 times a night and about half the nights wetting the bed. I had to do something about the sleep deprivation. I started using the diaper even when I didn't have to (something I absolutely fight during the day). Trading my nighttime continence for sleep was a good trade most of the time. Though I do horribly miss being able to wake up at night on nights when I am sharing a hotel room or sleeping at someone else's house.
bedwetterdavid said:
Most of the time I don’t mind being back in diapers, there’s a sense of comfort and nostalgia that comes from my early bedwetting days. But given the choice, I would definitely prefer to not have to worry about it. My wife is still awkward about it, so she doesn’t really talk about them or touch me when I’m wearing them. It has really affect in spontaneity in our sex life. I’ve tried to encourage her that even if I am “ready for bed” that doesn’t mean we can’t make love, but that doesn’t seem to work out.

So ultimately, yes, I understand OPs concern and definitely recommend talking to a doctor. Apparently I have issues with retaining urine, so the Urologist now has me on Afluzosin which is supposed to relax the bladder neck. It might be something as simple as a pill that takes away any risk of intermittent accidents.
My wife also is weirded out by the diapers. It helped with her when I switched to ThreadedArmor Protective Briefs at night since the don't so much shout I AM WEARING A DIAPER!!! I don't know if you'd have the same experience because really they are a diaper. We've had numerous conversations about this and they have undoubtedly negatively impacted our sex life. Though it is getting better.

I also took Afluzosin... it did not help me at night and it made control worse during the day. I hope you have a better experience.
 
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bedwetterdavid

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EcoIncon said:
I also slept better once I started wearing a diaper. My issue originally was one more of waking up 6-8 times a night and about half the nights wetting the bed. I had to do something about the sleep deprivation. I started using the diaper even when I didn't have to (something I absolutely fight during the day). Trading my nighttime continence for sleep was a good trade most of the time. Though I do horribly miss being able to wake up at night on nights when I am sharing a hotel room or sleeping at someone else's house.

My wife also is weirded out by the diapers. It helped with her when I switched to ThreadedArmor Protective Briefs at night since the don't so much shout I AM WEARING A DIAPER!!! I don't know if you'd have the same experience because really they are a diaper. We've had numerous conversations about this and they have undoubtedly negatively impacted our sex life. Though it is getting better.

I also took Afluzosin... it did not help me at night and it made control worse during the day. I hope you have a better experience.
So far Alfluzosin has resulted in me wetting 6-7 days a week down to 2-3. I told the urologist that I don’t really like taking medicine, unless it 100% cures me I probably won’t stay on it since anything less than 100% doesn’t change my “qualify of life”. He agreed.

I do notice less urgency when I wake up in the morning for that morning pee, so I guess it’s working a little.
 
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Fiammaverde

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DiaperedElmo said:
My main issue isn't the diaper, but the fact that wearing to bed will most certainly make me a full on bedwetter. I know, because I did that at first. My occasional problem became an everyday thing.

We’re you wearing disposable diapers or reusable ones? How much do you wet when it happens?

I ask because the possible third option you have would be to try reusable cloth diapers, with light absorbency. The right amount of absorbency would be enough, let’s say, to leave your bed mostly dry only 80% of the time.

This could allow a significant cut in laundry load, but somehow discourage the unconscious self-sabotage of your continence.
 
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hbic60

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bedwetterdavid said:
So far Alfluzosin has resulted in me wetting 6-7 days a week down to 2-3. I told the urologist that I don’t really like taking medicine, unless it 100% cures me I probably won’t stay on it since anything less than 100% doesn’t change my “qualify of life”. He agreed.

I do notice less urgency when I wake up in the morning for that morning pee, so I guess it’s working a little.
I am also happy with my doc - after examination of my urge incontinence we discussed of course what could be done against it. He explained me the options - medicine to lower the urge (and the side effects like feeling more tired, dry mouth feeling...), botox injections (to be repeated every few months) and even surgery; but I shouldn't expect to get fully continent again, it would only lower down my incontinence. So, as I have no complains wearing protection and it makes no big difference for me if 30% gos into the toilet or 50% I decided to leave it as it is - the options are still available in case I change my mind, he agreed fully!
 
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Elmo

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Fiammaverde said:
We’re you wearing disposable diapers or reusable ones? How much do you wet when it happens?
I was using 'sposies, and my wettings can be light or heavy. Most of the time, heavy.

I do like the cloth diaper idea, especially because I wouldn't have to buy cases of diapers until the end of time.
 
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chuck

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Cloth diapers with a pre-fold stuffer and plastic pants work well for me.
 
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EcoIncon

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hbic60 said:
I am also happy with my doc - after examination of my urge incontinence we discussed of course what could be done against it. He explained me the options - medicine to lower the urge (and the side effects like feeling more tired, dry mouth feeling...), botox injections (to be repeated every few months) and even surgery; but I shouldn't expect to get fully continent again, it would only lower down my incontinence. So, as I have no complains wearing protection and it makes no big difference for me if 30% gos into the toilet or 50% I decided to leave it as it is - the options are still available in case I change my mind, he agreed fully!
I am jealous. I have been through every procedure in the list to reduce my leakage episodes. Nothing gets me completely away from wearing protection (as you said who cares if it's 50% or 90% in the toilet - if it's not 100%, it's not of much use to me).

I am not going to risk my overall health with Anticholinergics that causes dementia, Botox that can have crazy side effects, surgery that can be life threatening and all the other options. If there's no way to get me totally off the pads (I'd really love to be done with diapers), But since I'm stuck with them, I'll just use a few more of them to avoid the nasty outcomes.

In spite of my wishes, I get badgered constantly by my medical staff that views "a 25% reduction in the number of pads used" as a major win. Do the people that set the rules for "good outcomes" actually talk to the people that are affected???
 
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SherriLil

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I've been 24/7 for a bit more than 3.5 years, but I wore diapers to bed for close to a year prior to that, so 4+ years, and in that time, I can tell you that my bedwetting remains unpredictable, although it has definitely ticked upwards in frequency over the last couple of years in particular. But, I can still go 7 nights without wetting (accidentally, anyway), and then I might wake up 2 or 3 nights in a row in a wet diaper. I travelled earlier this year overseas with buddies on a long-planned trip, and it would have been WAY easier to do that not having to wear diapers to bed, but there was no way I was going to take the chance. And, sure enough, I wet them twice on an 8 day trip, which would have been deeply inconvenient had I not worn them - certainly more inconvenient than wearing diapers was!
 
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