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This morning I had the bathroom dream. I had to wait for the roommate to get out of the bathroom to take care of what was left of the bladder.
The last three days have been a nightmare combination of unknown-reason stress and wildly active OAB. I'm trying not to let the OAB win out—it would literally be a trip every 45 minutes if I did, which would result in a couple of days of basically zero control until I forcibly put myself through a retrain. I've had to do this before: I've been able to basically strongarm a few days of control into my body at a time until it just gives out again and I'm back to having basically nothing while the muscles rest.
And just trying to "hang in there" isn't particularly helpful either. There's a "flutter" in there sending a misleading signal. It's hard to tell if I can relax or if I need to hold harder—and when I do hold harder I can feel myself slipping, so it never helps anyway no matter how close to losing it I am.
I thought it was bad last year, but this year has been some kind of record. The bedwetting in particular has progressed, and not surprising me at all none of my doctors wanted to look into any causes or anything.
I wonder if it's because they think it's a fibro inevitability.
Or if there literally is just nothing to be done about it.
I'll ask again at my next appointment.
The last three days have been a nightmare combination of unknown-reason stress and wildly active OAB. I'm trying not to let the OAB win out—it would literally be a trip every 45 minutes if I did, which would result in a couple of days of basically zero control until I forcibly put myself through a retrain. I've had to do this before: I've been able to basically strongarm a few days of control into my body at a time until it just gives out again and I'm back to having basically nothing while the muscles rest.
And just trying to "hang in there" isn't particularly helpful either. There's a "flutter" in there sending a misleading signal. It's hard to tell if I can relax or if I need to hold harder—and when I do hold harder I can feel myself slipping, so it never helps anyway no matter how close to losing it I am.
I thought it was bad last year, but this year has been some kind of record. The bedwetting in particular has progressed, and not surprising me at all none of my doctors wanted to look into any causes or anything.
I wonder if it's because they think it's a fibro inevitability.
Or if there literally is just nothing to be done about it.
I'll ask again at my next appointment.
