Not your average "How do I tell them" thread (warning: long!)

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PlotTwist

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So back in the day I'd enjoy wear/wetting a diaper here and there, but it wasn't a huge thing to me. I didn't plan on telling my then girlfriend-now-wife, as it wasn't a huge part of my life, and I felt weird about it. I've been incontinent for about a year now, have to wear 24/7, excluding a few breaks I've gotten where my bladder decides to cooperate for a little while, and my wife has been totally supportive of me with me wearing to manage it, which is great. To be honest, I'd prefer to not have to wear 24/7, but that being said...

In an effort to make lemonade when life gives you lemons, I'd like to see if I can introduce her to the DL "darkside". She's rather open to such things, but there is a catch. Now, I've read all the advice on how to do it slowly and easily, but I have a much different scenario. Before I met her, she used to DJ some clubs that had fetish rooms in the back, and she saw a little bit of everything. Unfortunately included in that was some parts of the ABDL crowd that weren't necessarily the best ambassadors, we'll say. She's mentioned it to me unprovoked, early on in our relationship, seemingly as a benchmark for just how weird the stuff she saw DJing got.

Fast forward to when I became incontinent, she had no problem with me wearing diapers (medical only, I've never tried the well-regarded AB ones), and actually when I've asked if I should wear or not on certain occasions, she always says I should. Now, she doesn't want me to wear forever, and does suggest I go back to the doctors to try to get another solution, but I'm not a fan of the side effects of the medication. I think it's more that she doesn't want to roll over at night into a wet spot ;D

To further confuse this, there has been a few occasions where I mention I ordered the wrong size diapers, or something didn't fit me well, she's said "well maybe I'll wear them or something", in a dismissing-my-concerns sort of way. This, along with along with a few other instances of comments like that (including her wanting to watch me change when we were tipsy at a friend's party), led me to ask her if she'd want to wear one (for practical purposes/situations at first). She brushed that off, and responded "ewww I'd have to poop in it too?!", of which I told her she didn't have to at all, and that I never do (too much hassle to clean up). We laughed it off.

Much later than that occurrence, (at an opportune time) I came right out with it and asked if she'd like to add some spice to our intimate life, and said that she'd mentioned it before, if she'd like to wear a diaper too. She thanked me for thinking about new things, and how she liked that it was on my mind, but that she wasn't interested in that specifically. In retrospect, I should've phrased it more about me, and what I'd like, than asking her if she'd like it. She seemed a bit uneased by it, but we moved on from that discussion and had a good time together the rest of the day.

From here, I'm not quite sure where to go. I had considered bringing it up, that after trawling the internet for incontinence info, I came across "diaper lovers" and found it actually appealed to me (a little white lie). I'm not sure though. Any thoughts?
 

Llayden

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I think it's time to let it go. You broke the ice and she responded. If you push you may not like how she responds next time. I would let it go, man. It may come back up again organically through other conversation further down the road, but for now she's already said "no". Take extreme pleasure in the fact that she doesn't have an issue with you wearing them now as it is.
 

chamberpot

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i think Llayden said it right..ball is in her court now, give it time, then give it more time she may bring it up again on her own. you don't make mention of how long you two have been together .. my wife and i just had our 41st anniversary a few month ago , she isn't in favor of even talking about it and i leave it at that , she know where i am in my DL/ Incon nighttime issues.
 

PlotTwist

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You're right, I didn't give a timeframe.. we've known each other for about 6 years. I guess I was just more confused about her making a few comments here and there, seemingly wanting to get in on it, but then turning down the option when presented.

I very strongly still consider the option to just let sleeping dogs lie. If she did know about my DL tendencies, it might make having to wear for medical reasons too awkward. I'm just the sort of person who likes to be open (when I can) about things. I thinking I might just take your advice with this, though ;)
 

AAO

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Maybe next time she mentions going back to the doctor for more help with your issues you could tell her that you prefer managing it with diapers and are finding wearing them enjoyable. See what kind of response that gets to know how to proceed from there.


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Maxx

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You're right, I didn't give a timeframe.. we've known each other for about 6 years. I guess I was just more confused about her making a few comments here and there, seemingly wanting to get in on it, but then turning down the option when presented.

I very strongly still consider the option to just let sleeping dogs lie. If she did know about my DL tendencies, it might make having to wear for medical reasons too awkward. I'm just the sort of person who likes to be open (when I can) about things. I thinking I might just take your advice with this, though ;)

What that means is she understands that some people like that sort of thing, and it still rolls around in her head, perhaps wondering occasionally about the color of the grass on the other side.

If I've learned anything about women in 35+ years of marriage, its that women are changeable. Something that she suggests tonight is a terrible idea tomorrow when you bring it up again, and vice versa. You have the advantage over most because you're in diapers and there are always diapers in the house if one day she gets that wild hair to give it a try, perhaps while you're not there.

Letting it lie seems the best plan, but you might keep it percolating by trying some different kinds of diapers now and then. If she asks... "If I have to do it, I might as well be into it"

Edit: I'm not IC, so this is out of curiousity.. Are the potential meds something you could take off and on when you really don't want to be diapered, then use diapers to avoid side effects the rest of the time? I know some things you can do that, some you can't.
 
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PlotTwist

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Letting it lie seems the best plan, but you might keep it percolating by trying some different kinds of diapers now and then. If she asks... "If I have to do it, I might as well be into it"

This sounds like the best possible plan of all of them. I'd like it if she'd try it once, but I'll wait until she brings it up again, and not push my luck haha
 

Gardener

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What is your goal here, to have her wear or to add some spice to your relationships? It sounds like the latter, but all the discussion seems to be about getting her into one. She already asked to watch you change on at least one occasion? How about asking her if she's ever thought about changing you? That could be very erotic, at least it is in my fantasies. If she says yes and it goes well (rubbing baby oil into your private area should turn you both on), you could be on your way to involving her in wearing by eventually telling her it turns you on to imagine changing her into one.
 
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