Not understanding myself

[PastelPadding]

Hello!

I'm in my late 30s and have had an interest in diapers since my teens and I don't really understand it. I had done a few binge/purge cycles over the years, but am relieved that I have chosen to just box the stuff away instead of throwing it away. I have a lot of shame attached to the idea of other people knowing that I will wear diapers to bed and sometimes wear a onesie and a pacifier with it during the day even. It's hard to describe, but I get like a... warm contentedness while doing these things and I just feel safe. And I like this feeling and I keep coming back to it. I don't know why it happens or why I need it, though.

Other than diaper things, I am a heavily spiritual individual who investigates the occult and likes to draw geometric art. I am self-employed as a massage therapist and I love what I do! Sometimes, I help people regain range of motion or to release a tight muscle that is causing them pain and sometimes I help them with depression and anxiety by being a loving presence that can have them feeling safe enough to relax. It's difficult for me to imagine more fulfilling work.

I am also a "passing" trans woman in that I pass as a cis person in my day to day life. I am very grateful and feel very blessed that I have been able to achieve this through years of hard work and turmoil.

I also enjoy games! Like... any games! I was an athlete through high school and still like to go to the courts. I also like video games and board games. I play the former more than the latter just because it's easier to play a video game solo, but I love the time I get to spend with friends and family around a board game so much more. Table top rpgs are hit and miss. It's really difficult to put a group together that is on a similar enough page to feel rewarding.

I indulge in film and video game analysis - sometimes for films or games I haven't even played. I really enjoy chewing on ideas surrounding art and media and how they convey emotion and information. For me, how things are made can often be much more interesting than the end product.

I do honestly have little patience for most people these days. Given the nature of my work, it's difficult for me to want to spend time with other people or especially to make new friends. I am highly "empathic" (yes, I know) and have my hands on people every day - feeling their pain and listening to them as they unload their trauma. Again, I love what I do. I love that I can help them. It's just that it would be draining on me to levels that are just unacceptable if I had to be this for the people in my personal life, too. As such, I tend to be a homebody.

So what am I looking for here? I think "normalcy". I'm not a bad person and I know I'm not. I'm actually like really sweet and kind and helpful and loving and all those things! It just feels like this thing about me is "tainting" me. It's like... my big flaw. It's hard to describe how happy and content and wonderful I can feel being diapered and cuddling plushies under an overstuffed quilt on a floofy bed or couch while I'm doing it vs the disgust I feel about myself while thinking about being witnessed doing it. It's like I'm all these lovely things in my public life and people really like me, but it feels like if they knew my indulgences, then I would be rejected and as such, I shouldn't risk it and should just try to live without it... I really don't want to, though, it's the best form of self-care that I've ever discovered 😔

In any case, I'm the kind of person that's rooting for everybody. My experiences in life have made it harder and harder for me to be judgmental about others. I'm mostly concerned with spreading well-being and happiness and am good for answering questions about massage and muscle-related things.

 

[PNW509Little]

Thank you for opening up like that.

There is certainly alot going on in your life to consider. I would just suggest that maybe what you are really seeking doesn't need to be defined as "normalcy" but rather comfort within yourself. I totally get where you are. I have been exploring my ABDL sides for a couple years now and it took me till my 40's to either realize they were there or that they were actually a thing, but I am still constantly torn with loving the way I feel when wearing and how it helps me mentally and emotionally, balanced with those negative feelings of guilt/shame/disgust and like you, left thinking what others would say if they knew. This really restricts my willingness to wear out in public very often, just because I know that so many on here do and have said, no one really notices, but the fear of what if, paralyzes me. So I know that makes me the wrong person to give you advice on this but, I would just say that at the end of the day, you spend a big part of your day helping others feel and live a more comfortable life thorough your hands, maybe its time to give yourself a little room to make your life a little more comfortable considering all you have going on.

Those judgmental voices won't likely go away anytime soon, but my suggestion is to just put a pacifier in their mouth and shut them up so you can enjoy cuddling with a plushie and the crinkle of your diaper!

 

[PastelPadding]

Thank you for opening up like that.

There is certainly alot going on in your life to consider. I would just suggest that maybe what you are really seeking doesn't need to be defined as "normalcy" but rather comfort within yourself. I totally get where you are. I have been exploring my ABDL sides for a couple years now and it took me till my 40's to either realize they were there or that they were actually a thing, but I am still constantly torn with loving the way I feel when wearing and how it helps me mentally and emotionally, balanced with those negative feelings of guilt/shame/disgust and like you, left thinking what others would say if they knew. This really restricts my willingness to wear out in public very often, just because I know that so many on here do and have said, no one really notices, but the fear of what if, paralyzes me. So I know that makes me the wrong person to give you advice on this but, I would just say that at the end of the day, you spend a big part of your day helping others feel and live a more comfortable life thorough your hands, maybe its time to give yourself a little room to make your life a little more comfortable considering all you have going on.

Those judgmental voices won't likely go away anytime soon, but my suggestion is to just put a pacifier in their mouth and shut them up so you can enjoy cuddling with a plushie and the crinkle of your diaper!

Thank you for being so kind!

I am rather comfortable with myself when I am by myself, really. The insecurities I feel come from the judgment of others, mostly. Each new person that enters my rings of influence tends to pose a threat to my inner harmony. If I were to try to explain it with a visualization, I would say to try to imagine being in a place that is just full of happiness and like... bubbles or something. Everything is cozy and just right with the world and existing. But then, a shadow looms on the horizon and it's getting bigger and it's coming this way. This is any given other person. The pain and judgment in their own hearts radiates out from them and begins to despoil the reality you have been existing in. Often times, it's not their fault. They're not aware of what they are doing. I try to be patient and put metaphorical drip pains to catch the muck they have falling off of them and I open the windows to let the smog they are emitting air out. I don't want them having access to my most inner sanctums, though, so I set boundaries on how much access to me that I will allow them. These boundaries tend to most strongly be reinforced around abdl stuff, sexuality stuff, and gender stuff. I haven't met someone yet who can clean their own toxicity off well enough to let them have access to these parts of me.

Instead of putting a paci in their mouths, I put one in my own. And then I put my ear plugs in or my headphones on and go on about my day 😇

 

[HellNo]

Hello there, I like your introduction! I think I might be somewhat able to feel how you are torn between two worlds.

In particular I reacted to your line

It's just that it would be draining on me to levels that are just unacceptable if I had to be this for the people in my personal life, too

I really want to tell you that you are fully able to NOT be that for your surrounding! At least in a healthy relationship you should be able to tell everyone that you don't want to be the one having to deal with all the bad stuff! You are fun and want to have fun

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. Especially since I myself am quite a different person in my private life to my "business side", as I will gladly let some tasks slide for weeks while I would never do that at work ^^

Also since it is quite a piece of my own struggles, I am glad you are able to live yourself in your daily life, I can only imagine ^^ so: welcome!

 

[Hemix]

It looks like thou'rt in an early stage of self-acceptance. Coming here was a very good decision of thine, it's important to know we aren't alone and we don't do anything wrong, thou didst it while recapitulating in thy post, for example.

Sometimes, thy brain will be tormented by those thoughts of self-shame, so a good thing that helped me is going outside and doing my usual "business", also playing with swings. When I do it in a wide place, full of nature, and once I'm done with it, I see nobody is judging me, so a feeling of happiness and peace invades me.

I hope that helps thee to normalize it and to be happier with thy life, welcome aboard! 😊

 

[PNW509Little]

Thank you for being so kind!

I am rather comfortable with myself when I am by myself, really. The insecurities I feel come from the judgment of others, mostly. Each new person that enters my rings of influence tends to pose a threat to my inner harmony. If I were to try to explain it with a visualization, I would say to try to imagine being in a place that is just full of happiness and like... bubbles or something. Everything is cozy and just right with the world and existing. But then, a shadow looms on the horizon and it's getting bigger and it's coming this way. This is any given other person. The pain and judgment in their own hearts radiates out from them and begins to despoil the reality you have been existing in. Often times, it's not their fault. They're not aware of what they are doing. I try to be patient and put metaphorical drip pains to catch the muck they have falling off of them and I open the windows to let the smog they are emitting air out. I don't want them having access to my most inner sanctums, though, so I set boundaries on how much access to me that I will allow them. These boundaries tend to most strongly be reinforced around abdl stuff, sexuality stuff, and gender stuff. I haven't met someone yet who can clean their own toxicity off well enough to let them have access to these parts of me.

Instead of putting a paci in their mouths, I put one in my own. And then I put my ear plugs in or my headphones on and go on about my day 😇

Love the visualization, that paints a pretty clear picture.

I think of it in the context of a great strawberry garden where all my (emotional) plants are fruiting and robust. I am fine tending to the garden and secure in my ability to do so. All is well until a bunny comes along and treats it like a buffet. Nothing against the bunny doing what it does, but its mere presence can wreck havoc on my happy little garden!

 

[johnnybgood]

Hello!

I'm in my late 30s and have had an interest in diapers since my teens and I don't really understand it. I had done a few binge/purge cycles over the years, but am relieved that I have chosen to just box the stuff away instead of throwing it away. I have a lot of shame attached to the idea of other people knowing that I will wear diapers to bed and sometimes wear a onesie and a pacifier with it during the day even. It's hard to describe, but I get like a... warm contentedness while doing these things and I just feel safe. And I like this feeling and I keep coming back to it. I don't know why it happens or why I need it, though.

Other than diaper things, I am a heavily spiritual individual who investigates the occult and likes to draw geometric art. I am self-employed as a massage therapist and I love what I do! Sometimes, I help people regain range of motion or to release a tight muscle that is causing them pain and sometimes I help them with depression and anxiety by being a loving presence that can have them feeling safe enough to relax. It's difficult for me to imagine more fulfilling work.

I am also a "passing" trans woman in that I pass as a cis person in my day to day life. I am very grateful and feel very blessed that I have been able to achieve this through years of hard work and turmoil.

I also enjoy games! Like... any games! I was an athlete through high school and still like to go to the courts. I also like video games and board games. I play the former more than the latter just because it's easier to play a video game solo, but I love the time I get to spend with friends and family around a board game so much more. Table top rpgs are hit and miss. It's really difficult to put a group together that is on a similar enough page to feel rewarding.

I indulge in film and video game analysis - sometimes for films or games I haven't even played. I really enjoy chewing on ideas surrounding art and media and how they convey emotion and information. For me, how things are made can often be much more interesting than the end product.

I do honestly have little patience for most people these days. Given the nature of my work, it's difficult for me to want to spend time with other people or especially to make new friends. I am highly "empathic" (yes, I know) and have my hands on people every day - feeling their pain and listening to them as they unload their trauma. Again, I love what I do. I love that I can help them. It's just that it would be draining on me to levels that are just unacceptable if I had to be this for the people in my personal life, too. As such, I tend to be a homebody.

So what am I looking for here? I think "normalcy". I'm not a bad person and I know I'm not. I'm actually like really sweet and kind and helpful and loving and all those things! It just feels like this thing about me is "tainting" me. It's like... my big flaw. It's hard to describe how happy and content and wonderful I can feel being diapered and cuddling plushies under an overstuffed quilt on a floofy bed or couch while I'm doing it vs the disgust I feel about myself while thinking about being witnessed doing it. It's like I'm all these lovely things in my public life and people really like me, but it feels like if they knew my indulgences, then I would be rejected and as such, I shouldn't risk it and should just try to live without it... I really don't want to, though, it's the best form of self-care that I've ever discovered 😔

In any case, I'm the kind of person that's rooting for everybody. My experiences in life have made it harder and harder for me to be judgmental about others. I'm mostly concerned with spreading well-being and happiness and am good for answering questions about massage and muscle-related things.

Let's chat someime. I feel exactly the same way. as you...

 

[lilithra]

Hello!

I'm in my late 30s and have had an interest in diapers since my teens and I don't really understand it. I had done a few binge/purge cycles over the years, but am relieved that I have chosen to just box the stuff away instead of throwing it away. I have a lot of shame attached to the idea of other people knowing that I will wear diapers to bed and sometimes wear a onesie and a pacifier with it during the day even. It's hard to describe, but I get like a... warm contentedness while doing these things and I just feel safe. And I like this feeling and I keep coming back to it. I don't know why it happens or why I need it, though.

Other than diaper things, I am a heavily spiritual individual who investigates the occult and likes to draw geometric art. I am self-employed as a massage therapist and I love what I do! Sometimes, I help people regain range of motion or to release a tight muscle that is causing them pain and sometimes I help them with depression and anxiety by being a loving presence that can have them feeling safe enough to relax. It's difficult for me to imagine more fulfilling work.

I am also a "passing" trans woman in that I pass as a cis person in my day to day life. I am very grateful and feel very blessed that I have been able to achieve this through years of hard work and turmoil.

I also enjoy games! Like... any games! I was an athlete through high school and still like to go to the courts. I also like video games and board games. I play the former more than the latter just because it's easier to play a video game solo, but I love the time I get to spend with friends and family around a board game so much more. Table top rpgs are hit and miss. It's really difficult to put a group together that is on a similar enough page to feel rewarding.

I indulge in film and video game analysis - sometimes for films or games I haven't even played. I really enjoy chewing on ideas surrounding art and media and how they convey emotion and information. For me, how things are made can often be much more interesting than the end product.

I do honestly have little patience for most people these days. Given the nature of my work, it's difficult for me to want to spend time with other people or especially to make new friends. I am highly "empathic" (yes, I know) and have my hands on people every day - feeling their pain and listening to them as they unload their trauma. Again, I love what I do. I love that I can help them. It's just that it would be draining on me to levels that are just unacceptable if I had to be this for the people in my personal life, too. As such, I tend to be a homebody.

So what am I looking for here? I think "normalcy". I'm not a bad person and I know I'm not. I'm actually like really sweet and kind and helpful and loving and all those things! It just feels like this thing about me is "tainting" me. It's like... my big flaw. It's hard to describe how happy and content and wonderful I can feel being diapered and cuddling plushies under an overstuffed quilt on a floofy bed or couch while I'm doing it vs the disgust I feel about myself while thinking about being witnessed doing it. It's like I'm all these lovely things in my public life and people really like me, but it feels like if they knew my indulgences, then I would be rejected and as such, I shouldn't risk it and should just try to live without it... I really don't want to, though, it's the best form of self-care that I've ever discovered 😔

In any case, I'm the kind of person that's rooting for everybody. My experiences in life have made it harder and harder for me to be judgmental about others. I'm mostly concerned with spreading well-being and happiness and am good for answering questions about massage and muscle-related things.

Hi and welcome.
After reading your introduction, I would like to talk with you.

 

[PastelPadding]

I really want to tell you that you are fully able to NOT be that for your surrounding! At least in a healthy relationship you should be able to tell everyone that you don't want to be the one having to deal with all the bad stuff! You are fun and want to have fun

I'll have to try to keep this in mind. I do feel rather responsible for everyone around me. It's hard not to.

I hope that helps thee to normalize it and to be happier with thy life, welcome aboard! 😊

Thank you!

Love the visualization, that paints a pretty clear picture.

I think of it in the context of a great strawberry garden where all my (emotional) plants are fruiting and robust. I am fine tending to the garden and secure in my ability to do so. All is well until a bunny comes along and treats it like a buffet. Nothing against the bunny doing what it does, but its mere presence can wreck havoc on my happy little garden!

Those darn bunnies! I'd bop them on the head... with a pillow.

Let's chat someime. I feel exactly the same way. as you...

Sure!

Hi and welcome.
After reading your introduction, I would like to talk with you.

Also sure!

 

[dlover]

Well, welcome to adisc. Many of us have gone through the same feelings about our little selves. You are not alone by any means. I personally enjoy the feeling of diapers and that it brings me back to a time without a care or any responsibilities. I can leave the stress of the world behind. Thank you for sharing that about yourself.

 

[Kittyinpink]

Hello!

I'm in my late 30s and have had an interest in diapers since my teens and I don't really understand it. I had done a few binge/purge cycles over the years, but am relieved that I have chosen to just box the stuff away instead of throwing it away. I have a lot of shame attached to the idea of other people knowing that I will wear diapers to bed and sometimes wear a onesie and a pacifier with it during the day even. It's hard to describe, but I get like a... warm contentedness while doing these things and I just feel safe. And I like this feeling and I keep coming back to it. I don't know why it happens or why I need it, though.

Other than diaper things, I am a heavily spiritual individual who investigates the occult and likes to draw geometric art. I am self-employed as a massage therapist and I love what I do! Sometimes, I help people regain range of motion or to release a tight muscle that is causing them pain and sometimes I help them with depression and anxiety by being a loving presence that can have them feeling safe enough to relax. It's difficult for me to imagine more fulfilling work.

I am also a "passing" trans woman in that I pass as a cis person in my day to day life. I am very grateful and feel very blessed that I have been able to achieve this through years of hard work and turmoil.

I also enjoy games! Like... any games! I was an athlete through high school and still like to go to the courts. I also like video games and board games. I play the former more than the latter just because it's easier to play a video game solo, but I love the time I get to spend with friends and family around a board game so much more. Table top rpgs are hit and miss. It's really difficult to put a group together that is on a similar enough page to feel rewarding.

I indulge in film and video game analysis - sometimes for films or games I haven't even played. I really enjoy chewing on ideas surrounding art and media and how they convey emotion and information. For me, how things are made can often be much more interesting than the end product.

I do honestly have little patience for most people these days. Given the nature of my work, it's difficult for me to want to spend time with other people or especially to make new friends. I am highly "empathic" (yes, I know) and have my hands on people every day - feeling their pain and listening to them as they unload their trauma. Again, I love what I do. I love that I can help them. It's just that it would be draining on me to levels that are just unacceptable if I had to be this for the people in my personal life, too. As such, I tend to be a homebody.

So what am I looking for here? I think "normalcy". I'm not a bad person and I know I'm not. I'm actually like really sweet and kind and helpful and loving and all those things! It just feels like this thing about me is "tainting" me. It's like... my big flaw. It's hard to describe how happy and content and wonderful I can feel being diapered and cuddling plushies under an overstuffed quilt on a floofy bed or couch while I'm doing it vs the disgust I feel about myself while thinking about being witnessed doing it. It's like I'm all these lovely things in my public life and people really like me, but it feels like if they knew my indulgences, then I would be rejected and as such, I shouldn't risk it and should just try to live without it... I really don't want to, though, it's the best form of self-care that I've ever discovered 😔

In any case, I'm the kind of person that's rooting for everybody. My experiences in life have made it harder and harder for me to be judgmental about others. I'm mostly concerned with spreading well-being and happiness and am good for answering questions about massage and muscle-related things.

Hey ! 😊
Lovely to have you here !! 😀
This is what adisc is for !
We support each other and help ourselves normalise our desire / need for diapers !
I have stopped feeling guilty now , and I am at peace with my ABDL side ..
I look forward to chatting with you ☺️
Great introduction by the way! 😊😊

 

[chamberpot]

hello and welcome

 

[NappyCouple1980]

Hello and welcome!

 

[mbby]

You are not alone in your feelings and being spiritual. We sometimes think that wanting to wear diapers is something bad or wrong. You are where I was more than 30 years ago when I decided that being in diapers wasn't such a horrible thing for me and others around me. I'm totally incontinent these days. I have a successful business that I'm running and starting a second one that will be even more than the first. And as being what we call a sissy, that happens as well. Just realize that you are normal for yourself and you are not alone in this world. This group has so many individuals like yourself and some like me has lived with this for 30+ years. Eventually others will understand and will accept you for who your truly are.

We are all here to help since we are in the same place as you are. If you want to chat, message me anytime.

God bless you and give you the understanding that you are not alone..

 

[TheDiaperB0Y]

Hello!

I'm in my late 30s and have had an interest in diapers since my teens and I don't really understand it. I had done a few binge/purge cycles over the years, but am relieved that I have chosen to just box the stuff away instead of throwing it away. I have a lot of shame attached to the idea of other people knowing that I will wear diapers to bed and sometimes wear a onesie and a pacifier with it during the day even. It's hard to describe, but I get like a... warm contentedness while doing these things and I just feel safe. And I like this feeling and I keep coming back to it. I don't know why it happens or why I need it, though.

Other than diaper things, I am a heavily spiritual individual who investigates the occult and likes to draw geometric art. I am self-employed as a massage therapist and I love what I do! Sometimes, I help people regain range of motion or to release a tight muscle that is causing them pain and sometimes I help them with depression and anxiety by being a loving presence that can have them feeling safe enough to relax. It's difficult for me to imagine more fulfilling work.

I am also a "passing" trans woman in that I pass as a cis person in my day to day life. I am very grateful and feel very blessed that I have been able to achieve this through years of hard work and turmoil.

I also enjoy games! Like... any games! I was an athlete through high school and still like to go to the courts. I also like video games and board games. I play the former more than the latter just because it's easier to play a video game solo, but I love the time I get to spend with friends and family around a board game so much more. Table top rpgs are hit and miss. It's really difficult to put a group together that is on a similar enough page to feel rewarding.

I indulge in film and video game analysis - sometimes for films or games I haven't even played. I really enjoy chewing on ideas surrounding art and media and how they convey emotion and information. For me, how things are made can often be much more interesting than the end product.

I do honestly have little patience for most people these days. Given the nature of my work, it's difficult for me to want to spend time with other people or especially to make new friends. I am highly "empathic" (yes, I know) and have my hands on people every day - feeling their pain and listening to them as they unload their trauma. Again, I love what I do. I love that I can help them. It's just that it would be draining on me to levels that are just unacceptable if I had to be this for the people in my personal life, too. As such, I tend to be a homebody.

So what am I looking for here? I think "normalcy". I'm not a bad person and I know I'm not. I'm actually like really sweet and kind and helpful and loving and all those things! It just feels like this thing about me is "tainting" me. It's like... my big flaw. It's hard to describe how happy and content and wonderful I can feel being diapered and cuddling plushies under an overstuffed quilt on a floofy bed or couch while I'm doing it vs the disgust I feel about myself while thinking about being witnessed doing it. It's like I'm all these lovely things in my public life and people really like me, but it feels like if they knew my indulgences, then I would be rejected and as such, I shouldn't risk it and should just try to live without it... I really don't want to, though, it's the best form of self-care that I've ever discovered 😔

In any case, I'm the kind of person that's rooting for everybody. My experiences in life have made it harder and harder for me to be judgmental about others. I'm mostly concerned with spreading well-being and happiness and am good for answering questions about massage and muscle-related things.

Hello!

I'm in my late 30s and have had an interest in diapers since my teens and I don't really understand it. I had done a few binge/purge cycles over the years, but am relieved that I have chosen to just box the stuff away instead of throwing it away. I have a lot of shame attached to the idea of other people knowing that I will wear diapers to bed and sometimes wear a onesie and a pacifier with it during the day even. It's hard to describe, but I get like a... warm contentedness while doing these things and I just feel safe. And I like this feeling and I keep coming back to it. I don't know why it happens or why I need it, though.

Other than diaper things, I am a heavily spiritual individual who investigates the occult and likes to draw geometric art. I am self-employed as a massage therapist and I love what I do! Sometimes, I help people regain range of motion or to release a tight muscle that is causing them pain and sometimes I help them with depression and anxiety by being a loving presence that can have them feeling safe enough to relax. It's difficult for me to imagine more fulfilling work.

I am also a "passing" trans woman in that I pass as a cis person in my day to day life. I am very grateful and feel very blessed that I have been able to achieve this through years of hard work and turmoil.

I also enjoy games! Like... any games! I was an athlete through high school and still like to go to the courts. I also like video games and board games. I play the former more than the latter just because it's easier to play a video game solo, but I love the time I get to spend with friends and family around a board game so much more. Table top rpgs are hit and miss. It's really difficult to put a group together that is on a similar enough page to feel rewarding.

I indulge in film and video game analysis - sometimes for films or games I haven't even played. I really enjoy chewing on ideas surrounding art and media and how they convey emotion and information. For me, how things are made can often be much more interesting than the end product.

I do honestly have little patience for most people these days. Given the nature of my work, it's difficult for me to want to spend time with other people or especially to make new friends. I am highly "empathic" (yes, I know) and have my hands on people every day - feeling their pain and listening to them as they unload their trauma. Again, I love what I do. I love that I can help them. It's just that it would be draining on me to levels that are just unacceptable if I had to be this for the people in my personal life, too. As such, I tend to be a homebody.

So what am I looking for here? I think "normalcy". I'm not a bad person and I know I'm not. I'm actually like really sweet and kind and helpful and loving and all those things! It just feels like this thing about me is "tainting" me. It's like... my big flaw. It's hard to describe how happy and content and wonderful I can feel being diapered and cuddling plushies under an overstuffed quilt on a floofy bed or couch while I'm doing it vs the disgust I feel about myself while thinking about being witnessed doing it. It's like I'm all these lovely things in my public life and people really like me, but it feels like if they knew my indulgences, then I would be rejected and as such, I shouldn't risk it and should just try to live without it... I really don't want to, though, it's the best form of self-care that I've ever discovered 😔

In any case, I'm the kind of person that's rooting for everybody. My experiences in life have made it harder and harder for me to be judgmental about others. I'm mostly concerned with spreading well-being and happiness and am good for answering questions about massage and muscle-related things.

@PastelPadding

As someone who has felt the same exact way about diapers and the AB/DL lifestyle, I can relate to your experience and truly empathize with you. My AB/DL lifestyle and diaper fetish have puzzled me for years, as well as why I enjoy wearing diapers so much. All of the AB/DL friends I've made in the community have expressed the same confusion about enjoying diapers.

During my years in therapy, I eventually opened up to my therapist about my diaper fetish.

From basically 2016 until present day, I have come to realize that, based on my own personal experience, I felt comfortable wearing diapers because as a child, I was neglected emotionally by my dysfunctional family's inability to be emotionally supportive and truly loving. My father was always very strict and driven. My mother was extremely passive and overwhelmed with her own emotions. I grew up wanting to be emotionally accepted and supported in positive praise and attention…
( much like a toddler) 😂

my interest in diapers and AgePlay was brought on by this desire and feeling of not wanting to grow up and be responsible because I never was encouraged by my own family to grow mentally in a supportive environment and expressing any emotions were viewed as weakness that should be bottled up. Even my unique individuality was discouraged. My parents & family wanted conformity to their family values and ideas of what is consider financially sustainable and successful in their eyes.

I would think that for most ABDL’s.
The desire & interest are associated with experiences of rejection sensitivity experienced during childhood in parental relationships and emotional neglect.
but again, that’s my own experience and I can’t speak for others

I really hope that my story about my own experiences helps you and others discover some new things they didn’t think about before in their own lives. It takes bravery to open up like that @PastelPadding and I just wanted to say that lots fellow AB/DL’s can relate.

I hope that you’ll embrace your AB/DL lifestyle and view it positively without the guilt 😊

Feel free to message me if you ever have questions. I’m always open to chat with anyone

Sincerely
Little Baby Teddy
@TheDiaperB0Y

 

[johnnybgood]

Hi and welcome.
After reading your introduction, I would like to talk with you.

Let's do it!

 

[mistykitty]

Excellent intro and welcome to the site

 

[chamberpot]

Being a grampa is fun ..being a great grampa is even better