None ABDL Girlfriend with ABDL Boyfriend in need of guidence...

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brokenkeys17

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Hi everyone.

I'm not too sure how to start this off but I could sure use some help/words of advise. My boyfriend came out to me about this side of him last year and truth be told it really has made us stronger. And although I am not an ABDL myself, he introduced to me to the ABDL world and I've become very accepting of it. In fact, I love being his mommy. He means the world to me and the love we share can't be compared to anything else in this world. I find happiness taking care of him and seeing him happy and at ease when he falls into little mode. I am very accepting of this side of him and partake often myself. He has ABDL friends of his own and I'm happy that he found people to relate to. But there's one big problem for me that I can't seem to get past....

Amongst those friends he has a "big brother". I'm happy to change my boyfriend's nappy and put him in one before bed. But it bothers me tremendously that whenever him and his "big brother" hang out, his BB will change his diaper. My boyfriend has made it very clear to me that it is not a sexual thing and I understand that fact. But I truly just cannot get past the fact that someone else changes his diaper other than me. I feel like it's very personal and I really cannot be comfortable with anyone else doing it for him.

I don't want to tell him to stop hanging out with his ABDL friends, I just don't want anyone else to change him. I truly don't know how to feel about this. I love him more than anything but I need help with this.

-Upset Mommy :(
 

HugMuffees

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Well it sounds like you've already decided that your not comfortable sharing this aspect of your boyfriend with others. I say this because even if it is not a sexual thing doesn't mean it isn't a romantic thing. It may not be a fun talk, but there isn't really any way to get around it and brushing it off as silly will only make the hurt worse over time.

The other option is to accept that he's doing this. If I had a girlfriend as my mommy I personally wouldn't feel that happy about her babying other boys/girls either. It is for me sexual too though.

If its too hard for you to say no outright, you can always tell him that your on the fence about this, and aren't sure your ok with it. Its honest straightforward and a lot less harsh than a flat out no.
 

brokenkeys17

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Thank you. I really appreciate some insight with this. Sometimes I feel as though I don't know where that line should be drawn at times but this part really does bother me. I want to continue to work on this.
 

Marting

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My mummy is the only one who changes my nappy (apart from myself). My opinion is that you have been open and accepting , and if you feel uncomfortable then you should let him know. You could even explain to him that if he were a 'real' baby then you wouldn't let another child change him, so don't want his 'big brother' to. A nappy change is an intimate thing, both for babies and ABs. So i see nothing wrong with you wanting to be the one who does it as him mummy and partner. We littles with mummies are very lucky, and let's be honest... what mummy says should go! Hope that helps. Good luck.
 

Trevor

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Diaper changes are pretty common in the community as a friendly gesture but obviously it can mean considerably more. I wouldn't say your reaction is unreasonable but it's not a concern that most ABDLs seem to have, even when in a committed relationship. How you change your boyfriend is going to be different than his big bro or some other friend does it. It means something entirely different coming from you. If you're not comfortable with that distinction, you'll need to talk further with him.
 

BabyDenise

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Sometimes I feel as though I don't know where that line should be drawn at times but this part really does bother me.

The line is drawn wherever you feel comfortable drawing it. You and your boyfriend need to talk about this and by talk, I mean communicate.

And it's ok to change your mind - that is, you don't want his BB changing his diaper now but you might be ok in the future.
 

HugMuffees

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Thank you. I really appreciate some insight with this. Sometimes I feel as though I don't know where that line should be drawn at times but this part really does bother me. I want to continue to work on this.

Shoulds are awfully tricky. I mean I should not like being treated like a baby. The fact that your not comfortable is known however. Please tell your boyfriend. You don't need to decide right away, but hiding pain is never helpful. Frankly He's really lucky to have found a girl who didn't instantly dump him when the abdl stuff was revealed, which is what usually happens.
 

Argent

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Geez lucky guy!

If ABDL or diaper changes are part of your personal relationship with your BF then yeah you really really need to tell him it falls in the cheating no go column to have him being changed by someone else.

Definitely be true to your own feelings even if he tells you for him it's like being a baby changed by a daycare worker or an actual siblings.
 

brokenkeys17

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Thank you everyone. I'm really happy I could find a place to talk to people comfortably about such a situation. A part of me really does understand it's just someone taking care of a baby for the moment that it needs to be done, but it makes me feel less significant because, well....I'm his mommy and that's what mommy's do. I've been going back and forth with this topic but just can't get past the way I feel. I have talked to him about this but he says there's nothing for me to worry about. But I still do and it hurts me. Again, thank you all for being such a great help and support system <3
 

Marting

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Not a problem. If you want a female perspective feel free to chat to my mummy/partner. Her name is Nenanena and she is a member here.
 

NenaNena

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I do understand your point of view, i wouldn't be happy someone else changing my little one/husband. Even tho it would be normal other people to help with real little kid by changing his nappy, i feel it's our private intime thing and as it is also sexual thing for many of us, i wouldn't be happy him doing that with someone else. Have you been thinking why it makes u feel bad? Do u feel like left out or is it about the intimacy or something else?

Maybe u should have really open conversation with him about how u feel about his big brother changing him and why you feel so. If it makes you feel bad i think he should consider not doing it anymore, at least for now. I see the mommy-little one relatonship to be thing u both should be comfortable in and as with many things its good to make compromises. I think its really loving from you to dig into the ABDL world for him so maybe that could be something he could do for you? People see this world differently and probably for them its just normal thing to do but you shouldn't put youself to situation you're not comfortable and happy. I guess only way to solve your situation is to have honest and open conversation about both of your feelings and see where you end up. If u wanna discuss more about it feel free to message me. :)
 

sbmccue

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What if you offered to be the 'mommy' whenever they are together? I'm not sure your boyfriend would be comfortable with you changing his BB, and if he isn't, he'll more readily appreciate how you feel.

If he is fine with you changing both he and his BB, on the other hand, you may find the babysitting 'gig' exhausting. Whether you're comfortable changing another guy isn't really an issue; you'll need to plow ahead at least once and see how he handles the experience.

Anyway, it might be worth starting a conversation along this line and seeing how he responds.
 

Moicano

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While there may in fact be "nothing to worry about", this issue is not about facts, it's about your feelings. He needs to respect your feelings. If you do not feel comfortable with someone else changing him, then he should stop letting the other person change him.

On the other hand, he is not being a bad boyfriend because of this, he probably still sees this as a logical issue rTher than an emotional issue. Make it clear that you feel bad when he gets his diaper changed by someone else regardless of if it is sexual, and hopefully he will understand. In return, spend a little time discussing with him why you don't like it and maybe you will find a compromise.
 
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