Non accepting wife...

This is so hard! Can you wear when she's not around?
 
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If his wife is still menstruating then he should ask her to stop using protection. Her protection gives her peace of mind. He’s wearing to have the same peace of mind.
 
Ashton84 said:
If his wife is still menstruating then he should ask her to stop using protection. Her protection gives her peace of mind. He’s wearing to have the same peace of mind.
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This will surely play out well. 🤔

The distinction being most women appear to tolerate vs embrace/integrate their protection into every facet of their lives.

I think you’re on to something though. I personally seek more than mere tolerance from my spouse.

While I consider it reasonable to expect at least contempt-free tolerance; I hope for more acceptance/embracing through time. 🧐
 
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PonderStibbons said:
This will surely play out well. 🤔

The distinction being most women appear to tolerate vs embrace/integrate their protection into every facet of their lives.

I think you’re on to something though. I personally seek more than mere tolerance from my spouse.

While I consider it reasonable to expect at least contempt-free tolerance; I hope for more acceptance/embracing through time. 🧐
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I agree. I have incontinence and I’m fortunate my wife is very accommodating. We discussed everything very early into our relationship and she has help in any way possible. My wife has on more than one occasion worn her products even though her period hasn’t started. I asked her why and she said peace of mind because she wasn’t feeling well. I found it quite interesting and I assume other women do likewise.
 
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OP, how is it going with you and your wife? We haven’t heard from you in a while. Hope things are getting better.
 
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I think it’s always important to be honest early in any relationship not to leave it when you’re married and have kids she’s probably more upset that you ware hiding apart of yourself form her for so long

it sounds like you’re wife isn’t going to fully accept it and it’s understandable because you have kids so she expects you to be a father not a baby that said I think you should try you’re best and explain why it’s something you like you may not need them for medical reasons but it is a need none the less

you’ll have to make a decision on what’s best because it’s never good not being truthful to yourself because you’re marriage will become unsatisfying and depressing even though you may love you’re wife what she may not understand is being more accepting of it will lead to a stronger relationship but more importantly trust but you can also damage you’re relationship beyond repair

I’ve had the experience more then ones in my life in my experience if someone really loves you they will try understand but then for some its a bridge they can’t cross unfortunately and sometimes love is about compromises

Talk with her about it but don’t push her she’s will need time to think about it but once you let the secret out there is not turning back so be prepared for any outcome
 
It doesn’t always have to be like this. For me my wife accidentally helped me fully discover my kink at which point she was not ok with it at all. Luckily we weren’t married at the time and she then agreed to marry me knowing full well about my little side and all it entailed. For a few months it was still a very sore subject but she kept telling me to be patient and not rush her, and I did my best to respect her comfort and never to force anything upon her. We went to a lot of counseling and kept talking about our feelings and our desire to remain together and love for each other. I tried to make her feel special in other ways (not just because I wanted acceptance back from her). At first she said I disgusted her and a few of our arguments around diapers brought me to some very dark places. But over time we kept talking and now she’s ok with me wearing whenever I want and wetting around her. She holds me, reads to me, bathes me, and we have gone out to eat while I was wearing once. She is open to zoo trips and meeting others in the community some day including accompanying me to a convention. The thing is, we still spend the vast majority of our time as adults. I know not all women will be ok with this but I really think telling them, if possible, before marriage is best. Once you’ve been married 10 years I can see how it’s difficult to come back from that. But with enough love and counseling anything is possible. It definitely has been for me (and I legitimately saw no hope and felt horrible about myself at first).
 
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It’s seems a lot of people have the same issue

Here’s the problem it’s key to be honest early in a relationship I know it’s hard to tell someone about it out of fear of being rejected but it’s better to know if the person you choose to be in a relationship with can accept you it’s better to be rejected and move on when only you’re pride and gets bruised
 
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I’m dreading the day if and when I have to open up this can of worms, but this thread has given been very informative!
 
New2DLWorld said:
I’m dreading the day if and when I have to open up this can of worms, but this thread has given been very informative!
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it honestly sounds worse than it is. So much better to know and to not have to hide yourself. But obviously not a first date kind of discussion either. When looking for a partner I recommend trying to find someone who is a) nurturing in general and b) very open-minded. That combination will increase your likelihood that she will accept you.
 
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gabie109 said:
It doesn’t always have to be like this. For me my wife accidentally helped me fully discover my kink at which point she was not ok with it at all. Luckily we weren’t married at the time and she then agreed to marry me knowing full well about my little side and all it entailed. For a few months it was still a very sore subject but she kept telling me to be patient and not rush her, and I did my best to respect her comfort and never to force anything upon her. We went to a lot of counseling and kept talking about our feelings and our desire to remain together and love for each other. I tried to make her feel special in other ways (not just because I wanted acceptance back from her). At first she said I disgusted her and a few of our arguments around diapers brought me to some very dark places. But over time we kept talking and now she’s ok with me wearing whenever I want and wetting around her. She holds me, reads to me, bathes me, and we have gone out to eat while I was wearing once. She is open to zoo trips and meeting others in the community some day including accompanying me to a convention. The thing is, we still spend the vast majority of our time as adults. I know not all women will be ok with this but I really think telling them, if possible, before marriage is best. Once you’ve been married 10 years I can see how it’s difficult to come back from that. But with enough love and counseling anything is possible. It definitely has been for me (and I legitimately saw no hope and felt horrible about myself at first).
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gabie109 said:
It doesn’t always have to be like this. For me my wife accidentally helped me fully discover my kink at which point she was not ok with it at all. Luckily we weren’t married at the time and she then agreed to marry me knowing full well about my little side and all it entailed. For a few months it was still a very sore subject but she kept telling me to be patient and not rush her, and I did my best to respect her comfort and never to force anything upon her. We went to a lot of counseling and kept talking about our feelings and our desire to remain together and love for each other. I tried to make her feel special in other ways (not just because I wanted acceptance back from her). At first she said I disgusted her and a few of our arguments around diapers brought me to some very dark places. But over time we kept talking and now she’s ok with me wearing whenever I want and wetting around her. She holds me, reads to me, bathes me, and we have gone out to eat while I was wearing once. She is open to zoo trips and meeting others in the community some day including accompanying me to a convention. The thing is, we still spend the vast majority of our time as adults. I know not all women will be ok with this but I really think telling them, if possible, before marriage is best. Once you’ve been married 10 years I can see how it’s difficult to come back from that. But with enough love and counseling anything is possible. It definitely has been for me (and I legitimately saw no hope and felt horrible about myself at first).
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It’s good to see you’re wife accept you’re little side especially after the difficulties at first but it’s only made you’re marriage more strong in the end

I understand I was in a similar situation with a ex girlfriend we split a few years ago not as a result of my little side but it played a role I guess

I was single for a while until I found my mommy/girlfriend I couldn’t be happier I was honest from the start she does everything I could ever imagine ware I live we’ve been on lockdown since December and I’ve been lucky she’s kept me in diapers and as a baby almost 24/7 it’s a dream come true for an AB I couldn’t imagine life without her now so I feel the pain of this guy because I was there myself

I think things becomes a little more difficult especially if you end up having kids with you’re wife and hiding that aspect of you’re life till after marriage and kids it’s a tricky one
 
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New2DLWorld said:
I’m dreading the day if and when I have to open up this can of worms, but this thread has given been very informative!
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You’re best being honest within a relationship don’t leave it till it’s to late getting married and having kids is leaving it to late

it’s better to know if the person you’re going to be in a relationship with can accept you for you go’s both ways

I know there is no easy way of ever telling someone but if you’re in a loving relationship and and there isn’t other responsibility’s e.g kids!
 
boyscanbelittle2 said:
You’re best being honest within a relationship don’t leave it till it’s to late getting married and having kids is leaving it to late

it’s better to know if the person you’re going to be in a relationship with can accept you for you go’s both ways

I know there is no easy way of ever telling someone but if you’re in a loving relationship and and there isn’t other responsibility’s e.g kids!
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I understand totally but 20 years in and you have a revelation in the last few weeks....I’m not saying there wouldn’t be acceptance but it’s gonna be a long long process, but also tied to me still trying to figure this whole thing out!
 
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Diapercutie said:
This is so hard! Can you wear when she's not around?
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I normally do when she's not around, but she knows I do.
 
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I'm reading this thread with interest as I'm experiencing similar issues.
Some great well balanced views and opinions. Many have given me food for thought.
Hope things work out OK for you TSladeDL
 
New2DLWorld said:
I understand totally but 20 years in and you have a revelation in the last few weeks....I’m not saying there wouldn’t be acceptance but it’s gonna be a long long process, but also tied to me still trying to figure this whole thing out!
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If you’re in a relationship 20 years You’re partner probably knows more aspects about you then you realise

As they say you never know till you ask but I understand you’re scared of losing you’re relationship or it being dismissed everything has a risk involved there isn’t any reward without risk unfortunately

but like the other person said it’s about taking small steps and not pushing it on her but the fist step is talking about it openly and explaining it as best you can you might not fully understand it yourself but by being open about it it’s something you can maybe explore together

I was talking about it with my girlfriend the other day I was saying because I had to hide a part of myself for so long you almost feel as if there is two separate sides to yourself a baby side and adult side but in reality there isn’t it’s just my personality we shouldn’t have to hide any part of ourselves especially with the person you love and trust

I know it’s not easy but I know it’s something you what to get off you’re chest because you love her you can’t and don’t what to hide any aspect of yourself I know you fear the outcome but a part of you would feel relief

like I said there’s no reward without risk if you think the risk is bigger then the reward then just keep it to yourself and live with it always on your mind
 
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TSladeDL said:
I normally do when she's not around, but she knows I do.
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Basically what you need to say to you’re wife is you’ve always had that side to you and you’re sorry that you couldn’t be more open about it in the past because you ware ashamed about it and you feared losing her you never wanted to keep secrets from her
 
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boyscanbelittle2 said:
Basically what you need to say to you’re wife is you’ve always had that side to you and you’re sorry that you couldn’t be more open about it in the past because you ware ashamed about it and you feared losing her you never wanted to keep secrets from her
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I have told her this. She's just trying to process it all I guess
 
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SweetPrincess said:
I just want to say I don't think he's selfish. Firstly we know very little about his situation. We know his wife hates him wearing them now but do we know this is how she always felt? Perhaps she initially gave the response of "wear whenever you want" in a resigned kind of way - Remember it's been 1.5 years since he has told her. We don't know how she has responded to this wearing through this time. The point is we are making assumptions about his situation, he might have done what you're talking about and in the way in which you're talking about it but at this point we actually really don't know.
Secondly even if he did just spring all this on her first thing out of the box. That doesn't make him selfish. Being set free to finally be who you are can be overwhelming, maybe he made a mistake exposing her to all this so quickly but that doesn't make him selfish. He was merely trying to be himself and we all do deserve that even if we can't always get it.

I myself desire exactly that kind of freedom in a relationship, does that make me selfish? No. He's unfortunately chosen a hard path and made a few wrong turns on the road to finding acceptance. But wanting that kind of acceptance doesn't make one selfish. This community needs to remember WE are not the bad guys nor is his partner for not wanting to be around it. There are no enemies here only differences in our personalities.
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Ashton84 said:
If his wife is still menstruating then he should ask her to stop using protection. Her protection gives her peace of mind. He’s wearing to have the same peace of mind.
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That is nonsensical. A woman cannot choose to stop bleeding. She needs to wear pads or tampons so that she isn’t covered in blood and she is able to function in daily tasks and not miss out on normal life things because of her female body. This is NOT in ANY way the same as someone ABDL. Only someone who is incontinent could attempt to make that argument, and I haven’t heard of a single woman having a problem with an incontinent partner using diaper type products to deal with an involuntary bodily need.
 
Abdlforfun said:
This topic comes up all the time what the wives don’t understand is for some of us this is not a choice we were born like this we enjoy diapers we enjoy wearing them and that’s not going to change for the wives I cannot except this they need to leave and find somebody there happier with
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Than why did you marry a heterosexual sexual woman that hadn’t expressed the same fetish? How can you seriously choose a piece of plastic and cloth over the human woman that you made love to/ married/ who birthed your children if you have them?
 
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