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New & Unsure

Chodis

Est. Contributor
Messages
24
Age
28
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
Hi, my name's Cody and I've been interested in the DL related side of things for as long as I remember. I'm in my late twenties, and I've only ever worn a handful of times in the last few years and it's always come with intense shame/guilt that in most cases has me instantly purging whatever I've brought.
It warms my heart to see so many people in this community being able to love the AB/DL side of themselves, and do so in what often seems like a really healthy and nurturing way.
But there seems to be too many thinking patterns or ingrained beliefs for me to be able to engage in it myself. I don't want to make this into a moral/ethical argument, but if anyone had any experience wrestling with or thinking through the below issues (what I've identified to be my main barriers) then I'd love to hear your thoughts please:
  • I've always felt as if it's a broken and unlovable part of my sexuality, despite a few past partners knowing about it and accepting/enjoying it
  • Disposable diapers go strongly against the environmentally friendly ethos I try my best to follow in all other areas in my life, and cloth don't seem to interest me
  • I assumed by not engaging in the kink for 10+ years it'd simply fade away as a desire/longing, but it hasn't and I'm not ever sure how to sit with that
  • This last point is a big conversation, and I'm still not sure where I sit with it myself, but as a Christian I feel convicted around the thought/idea of using diapers. Not the actual act itself, but how it then triggers a lot of sexual urges which most of the time leads to me viewing porn (which I personally feel is sin). I'd understand the guilt/shame around this if I grew up in a Christian family, but I didn't, I came to faith a few years ago as an adult with no prior exposure to religion, but yet I held similar values around viewing porn before come to faith. I hope this doesn't come across as attacking anyone, it's just me trying to be honest and acknowlege the detrimental affects porn has had on my relationships, wellbeing and mental health even with taking Christian values out of the picture.
Apologies, that's a wall of text. Anyways, I look forward to meeting some of you and hearing your stories. I hope you're all having a good day.
 
Welcome
 
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Chodis said:
Hi, my name's Cody and I've been interested in the DL related side of things for as long as I remember. I'm in my late twenties, and I've only ever worn a handful of times in the last few years and it's always come with intense shame/guilt that in most cases has me instantly purging whatever I've brought.
It warms my heart to see so many people in this community being able to love the AB/DL side of themselves, and do so in what often seems like a really healthy and nurturing way.
But there seems to be too many thinking patterns or ingrained beliefs for me to be able to engage in it myself. I don't want to make this into a moral/ethical argument, but if anyone had any experience wrestling with or thinking through the below issues (what I've identified to be my main barriers) then I'd love to hear your thoughts please:
  • I've always felt as if it's a broken and unlovable part of my sexuality, despite a few past partners knowing about it and accepting/enjoying it
  • Disposable diapers go strongly against the environmentally friendly ethos I try my best to follow in all other areas in my life, and cloth don't seem to interest me
  • I assumed by not engaging in the kink for 10+ years it'd simply fade away as a desire/longing, but it hasn't and I'm not ever sure how to sit with that
  • This last point is a big conversation, and I'm still not sure where I sit with it myself, but as a Christian I feel convicted around the thought/idea of using diapers. Not the actual act itself, but how it then triggers a lot of sexual urges which most of the time leads to me viewing porn (which I personally feel is sin). I'd understand the guilt/shame around this if I grew up in a Christian family, but I didn't, I came to faith a few years ago as an adult with no prior exposure to religion, but yet I held similar values around viewing porn before come to faith. I hope this doesn't come across as attacking anyone, it's just me trying to be honest and acknowlege the detrimental affects porn has had on my relationships, wellbeing and mental health even with taking Christian values out of the picture.
Apologies, that's a wall of text. Anyways, I look forward to meeting some of you and hearing your stories. I hope you're all having a good day.
Hello and welcome here
 
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I think you are over-thinking the problem. It’s a very tiring thing to do. God, almost uniquely gave us the pleasure of sex so relax and enjoy the diapers/nappies, keep the porn to a minimum (the best sex is in your mind) so imagine and have fun.
 
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Welcome Cody!
 
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Chodis said:
Hi, my name's Cody and I've been interested in the DL related side of things for as long as I remember. I'm in my late twenties, and I've only ever worn a handful of times in the last few years and it's always come with intense shame/guilt that in most cases has me instantly purging whatever I've brought.
Everyone is special in a way, but nonetheless, your story sounds only too common around here. You're definitely not alone. Welcome.

I've always felt as if it's a broken and unlovable part of my sexuality
Well, it's certainly a sexuality skill that is not indispensable. But, as Teddy02 pointed out, sex is designed to be pleasurable, so it's best to the best of what's available to you. Why miss out an aspect of pleasure, if you can also enjoy it?

Disposable diapers go strongly against the environmentally friendly ethos I try my best to follow in all other areas in my life, and cloth don't seem to interest me
Your whole life is a compromise in that respect. You are using hardware whose raw materials were probably digged up under questionable circumstances. You are living in a house that occupies an area that once was part of an ecosystem. The harvester that gathered grains for you flattened lots of beetles. It's commendable that you try to minimize your individual share of waste, but compared to what's going on in the world as a whole, a couple of diapers now and then make no real difference in comparison.

I assumed by not engaging in the kink for 10+ years it'd simply fade away as a desire/longing, but it hasn't and I'm not ever sure how to sit with that
I hate to break it to you, but unless you are very different from other people, you'll just have to live with it. Many have tried, just as many have failed. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." (Reinhold Niebuhr)

As a Christian I feel convicted around the thought/idea of using diapers. Not the actual act itself, but how it then triggers a lot of sexual urges which most of the time leads to me viewing porn
Can't help you there very much. I'm agnostic. But from what I heard and read, I assume your god loves you and will forgive your sins, provided you sincerely repent.
 
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welcome
 
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Yay! Someone besides me who does the wall of words! Don't dish it if you can't take it, so have a wall of words. :eek: Also, welcome. :)

I will send it to you by PM.
 
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ElPulpo said:
Everyone is special in a way, but nonetheless, your story sounds only too common around here. You're definitely not alone. Welcome.


Well, it's certainly a sexuality skill that is not indispensable. But, as Teddy02 pointed out, sex is designed to be pleasurable, so it's best to the best of what's available to you. Why miss out an aspect of pleasure, if you can also enjoy it?


Your whole life is a compromise in that respect. You are using hardware whose raw materials were probably digged up under questionable circumstances. You are living in a house that occupies an area that once was part of an ecosystem. The harvester that gathered grains for you flattened lots of beetles. It's commendable that you try to minimize your individual share of waste, but compared to what's going on in the world as a whole, a couple of diapers now and then make no real difference in comparison.


I hate to break it to you, but unless you are very different from other people, you'll just have to live with it. Many have tried, just as many have failed. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." (Reinhold Niebuhr)


Can't help you there very much. I'm agnostic. But from what I heard and read, I assume your god loves you and will forgive your sins, provided you sincerely repent.
Thank you everyone for the warm welcomes, and thank you especially Elpulpo for responding in such detail. You made some good points, and it's helped me to reflect on the biases I hold coming into this. It helps to know that I share similar experiences to others, and to see people who have come to an accepting place with this aspect of their lives.
 
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Welcome
 
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Chodis said:
Thank you everyone for the warm welcomes, and thank you especially Elpulpo for responding in such detail. You made some good points, and it's helped me to reflect on the biases I hold coming into this. It helps to know that I share similar experiences to others, and to see people who have come to an accepting place with this aspect of their lives.
Introductions don't always get the attention they deserve (neither from me, you've been lucky).

I suppose you would get more help if you searched for threads already dealing with your (or similar) issues or create new ones. There are other christians here struggling with their desires, I also remember some ecological discussion and TONS of threads about shame, doubt, remorse and failed attempts at overcoming the urge.
 
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Welcome! I am the same way. I am a Christian, married, and have a secretive kink of wearing diapers on my own time. Cloth diapers doesn't have the same interest to me as disposable diapers. I dont feel bad about the environment because the diapers are made from the material on earth (well- synthesized from oil and other raw materials).

I don't believe wearing diapers for fun/sexual purpose goes against my religion since we all are sinners, plus it is not doing any harm on me or anyone else. If my wife want sex, I'll gladly do it with her.
 
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Chodis said:
Hi, my name's Cody and I've been interested in the DL related side of things for as long as I remember. I'm in my late twenties, and I've only ever worn a handful of times in the last few years and it's always come with intense shame/guilt that in most cases has me instantly purging whatever I've brought.
It warms my heart to see so many people in this community being able to love the AB/DL side of themselves, and do so in what often seems like a really healthy and nurturing way.
But there seems to be too many thinking patterns or ingrained beliefs for me to be able to engage in it myself. I don't want to make this into a moral/ethical argument, but if anyone had any experience wrestling with or thinking through the below issues (what I've identified to be my main barriers) then I'd love to hear your thoughts please:
  • I've always felt as if it's a broken and unlovable part of my sexuality, despite a few past partners knowing about it and accepting/enjoying it
  • Disposable diapers go strongly against the environmentally friendly ethos I try my best to follow in all other areas in my life, and cloth don't seem to interest me
  • I assumed by not engaging in the kink for 10+ years it'd simply fade away as a desire/longing, but it hasn't and I'm not ever sure how to sit with that
  • This last point is a big conversation, and I'm still not sure where I sit with it myself, but as a Christian I feel convicted around the thought/idea of using diapers. Not the actual act itself, but how it then triggers a lot of sexual urges which most of the time leads to me viewing porn (which I personally feel is sin). I'd understand the guilt/shame around this if I grew up in a Christian family, but I didn't, I came to faith a few years ago as an adult with no prior exposure to religion, but yet I held similar values around viewing porn before come to faith. I hope this doesn't come across as attacking anyone, it's just me trying to be honest and acknowlege the detrimental affects porn has had on my relationships, wellbeing and mental health even with taking Christian values out of the picture.
Apologies, that's a wall of text. Anyways, I look forward to meeting some of you and hearing your stories. I hope you're all having a good day.
Welcome to the community!
 
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