New to incontinence

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matt9615

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I'm Matt and I'm new to incontinence. I would like advise about incontinence. I like horses, dogs, movies and talking walks. Several times a week I go through the horse farm and clean up the stalls. How should I manage/live with my incontinence?

Thanks
Matt
 

wearing

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I've been dealing with this problem for thirteen years. Just put your diaper on, and go about life. It's frustrating at times, but you will learn to cope with it as time goes by.
 

Rob110

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Matty sorry you are dealing with IC at a young age wearing is right some time having to wear is frustrating at times but having to wear really does not change your life a whole lot. Make sure you find proper fitting Premium diapers like dry 24/7's or northshores premium plastic backed diapers. Abena level 4 airs are ok but I prefer a plastic backed diaper.


Wear darker pants this will help hide a leak (and the will happen) even with a premium diaper, make sure you have a well stocked back pack with you at all times that has
At least 4 diapers
Change of cloths
Wipes and cream.

I wear a dry 24/7 with my old underware over top and then plastic pants it helps with small leaks so you underware will absorb the slight leak and the plastic pants will help stop you outer pants from getting wet.

Leaks do not happen often but when they do you need to be prepaired. Imhave been thinking about a smaller back pack with one diaper cream and wipes and maybe track pants to keep the pack light for carrying while In a mall or a walk and leave the full pack in the car.

Remember you are not alone in dealing with IC issues and if you have any questions always ask
 

chuck

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As others have implied, wear tape-on or pin-on diapers and not the pull-up style. Pull-up diapers require you to take your pants off to change and that is more inconvenient than just un-taping a wet one and putting on a dry one. Also, if you have a messy accident, most pull-up diapers do not have leak guards and you can end up with a situation that will require a lot of wiping and perhaps a clean pair of pants.
 

AnalogRTO

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One thing that has not been mentioned here is tailoring what you do for management of your incontinence to your needs. Not everyone needs a premium diaper all the time. Not everyone has bowel incontinence. Is it occasional stress incontinence? Is it total loss of all control? Bladder, bowel, or both? Light incontinence won't require premium diapers to deal with, you might be able to get away with guards or pull-up style. Matty444, please give us some information on what you are dealing with and we can better help you.

Giving advice on how to manage and live with a problem depends on the severity of that issue. If I were to tell someone I get headaches, they might suggest aspirin, acetaminophen, or ibuprofen. If instead I say I get chronic cluster headaches, the equivalent of a tough migraine four times a day, every day, for the last eighteen years, then the suggestions would change.
 

matt9615

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Thanks for all the replies. My bladder control is gone. When I check my diaper it is soaked. I don't know if I'm checking often enough. I have noticed that sometimes when I change after I untape my diaper I end up peeing before I put on my clean diaper. Is this ok? Does this help?

I only mess when I can't hold it anymore and I don't like messing.
 

ST50

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I have been in nappies for well over two years now and have little or no bladder control. All I can say is it gets easier and becomes just a way of life. I still do everything I used to but wearing a nappy and plastic pants.
 

matt9615

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Why do I sometimes pee between diaper changes? Some times I end up wetting my pants. I'm just trying to understand why it happens.

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I really don't have much bladder control left.
 

jamiejamie

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You may want to put the new diaper under your used diaper during changing so your pants don't get wet in the process.
 

matt9615

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This method seems to work better at home than while out and about.

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Any other incontinence tips or advise?
 

Llayden

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I think it may be a reflexive response due to sudden exposure to cooler air. Kind of like a shiver, but it contracts on the bladder which can lead to unexpected evacuation. It happens from time to time.
 

matt9615

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I think it may be a reflexive response due to sudden exposure to cooler air. Kind of like a shiver, but it contracts on the bladder which can lead to unexpected evacuation. It happens from time to time.

What can I do to avoid it?

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I still feel anxious about changing my diaper in public. Sometimes I leave my diaper in the stall even though I know that I should throw it away. I just don't know what others think about someone as young as me carrying a dirty diaper to the trash. I don't know what to do
 

Llayden

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What can I do to avoid it?

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I still feel anxious about changing my diaper in public. Sometimes I leave my diaper in the stall even though I know that I should throw it away. I just don't know what others think about someone as young as me carrying a dirty diaper to the trash. I don't know what to do

It takes time and practice to get over your fears and apprehension. Eventually, you will come to realize "Hey, this is who I am. Screw anyone else for thinking less of me because of a condition that I can't help!" You need to accept who you are as a person, that is the most important thing.

If you have a condition, and you are taking the necessary steps to mitigate accidents, what is there to be embarrassed about? Confidence is the key to overcoming all your fears. If you can confidently walk in, take care of business, hold your head high and walk out to throw your trash away wash your hands and leave, you've won. So now the question is, how do you gain, nurture, and develop confidence? Practice.

The only way that you will be more comfortable with changing in public is practice. Practice, practice, practice. When I was dealing with my IC at a younger age (I was 19-20 when my night issues came back and 22 or so when my daytime issues made constant protection mandatory...and I was active duty military) I was extremely apprehensive of changing in public at first.

But, I sought out public changes. I amped myself up like an athlete before a big game against an opponent that was all but guaranteed to win. I just got my self to a mental state where I wasn't trying to avoid or deal with adversity, I WANTED it. I sought IT out and met IT head on. I put myself in public areas areas constantly.

It was tough at first, really tough. I found that the easiest places to change in public are, actually, the busiest places. Any bathroom that has a constant and larger volume of users was an easier place for me to change at first. Why? The noise, the traffic, all the background activity comings and goings-on of daily human life. All that white noise made it easy to hide in plain site, as it were, and change in public.

Once you find a comfortable setting in a public place, it's like finding a weak spot in the armor. You just keep hitting that area over and over. Keep changing in that comfortable setting. Eventually, as you do this practice over and over, you gain more confidence and your horizons expand. Before TOO long you find yourself changing in more varied public setting, and then one day you'll just say F' it and change whenever you need to regardless of the restroom.

Now, you might not like an overly busy area to get your practice in, you might prefer someplace else. You just need to find a location and setting that you can tolerate right now and keep changing there. You'll get the reps in, and the confidence will grow. You can do it. Accidents happen, bit don't let them dictate your emotional wellbeing.

As for your leaving a diaper in the stall, please don't. It isn't very nice for anyone else. I'm not sure why you would as I would guess that you have a small bag with your changing supplies with you. If you don't have a bag, you need to make one (I could show you mine if you wish to see an example). If you have that bag, just put your used product in there before exiting the stall to dispose of elsewhere or you can reach in to discreetly on your way out and make the drop in the trashcan.

As for the unexpected leak when changing, that is something that you will get better with practice as well. I'm not entirely sure what causes it, just that based on my observations it seems to happen with temperature. If my skin is really wet, or the ambient temperature in the restroom is way cooler than wherever I was before, I seem to pee a bit when I expose my skin during a change.

So, knowing and recognizing that, I expose the front of the diaper slowly allowing for temperature acclimation and keeping the diaper there incase of a release. I also do this sitting on the commode in case of a full release (If I'm changing, chances are the diaper is not going to contain another full release) so that the pee will go in the toilet if the used diaper can't hold it. In fact, I always remove my diaper in public while sitting on the toilet. Sit, release the tapes, roll down the front, then (while holding it front and back) lift my butt a bit and slide the diaper out and reseat myself. You can then clean up with wipes and roll the diaper up all while comfortably seated.

I hope some of this can help you.
 

jdinvirginia

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Matty,

Sorry to read about your problems.

LLayden has given you some very good advice. Coping with incontinence takes time, practice, and initially has a steep learning curve as it takes many small things to enable you to cope effectively and get on with living.

I am double incontinent (both bladder and bowel) and wear diapers 24/7. I have written a fairly extensive paper "An Introduction to Wearing Adult Diapers, their Selection and Wear," that has been well received and should be useful to you. It is available on several sites online. It is free and I am not selling anything. This 47-page paper has everything I wish I had known when I became incontinent. The file is in pdf format and you can download it from the URL below:

http://www.incontinentsupport.org/Introduction_to_Wearing_Diapers.pdf

Good luck!

--John
 

ornitorrinco

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Matty,

You have a medical condition. What other people think about you taking care of your medical condition is irrelevant. If others aren't mature enough to be polite, that is THEIR problem, not yours. I expect that of those people who might notice, the majority of them would realize that it is likely a medical condition and wouldn't say anything at all. (Do you think poorly of a diabetic who gives himself an insulin shot before dinner? No, you recognize that they are managing their medical condition, even though there are people out there who use injections for non-medical reasons.)

I hope you are seeking competent medical care. At your age, incontinence is often a symptom, masking an underlying problem, so please get checked out by a urologist (somebody who specializes in medical conditions related to kidneys and the like).

Changing in public is one of those things that most of us find terrifying at first. At some point, most of us come to realize that most people who are in the restroom at the same time as you are so preoccupied with what they are doing/thinking/etc. that they don't pay any attention to what is happening in a different stall. I've also found that most of those who do notice don't care. They will often go out of their way to NOT draw attention to it.

In terms of strategies that might help, you might consider diaper layering. In this case you wear two (or more) diapers on top of each other. This is especially helpful for pull-up style diapers. When the inside one gets wet, you can take it off and pull up what was the outer diaper. Somebody on this forum talked about using a baby diaper as a liner. They put a baby diaper inside of their regular diaper. When the baby diaper gets full, you can just pull it out and throw it away; no other adjustment necessary. Many of these baby diapers are really good at holding a good amount of urine.

In the end, what you will hopefully come to understand is that what is important here is what is convenient and helpful for you managing your medical condition. What strangers think of the sounds you make in the bathroom stall shouldn't be too high on the list of things that cause you anxiety and fear.

Good luck.
 

chuck

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Matty, some more thoughts:
1. You may need to put yourself on a schedule and adhere to it, like change every X hours until you get used to knowing when you need to change.
2. Make sure you have an ample supply of diapers on hand; you never know when you might have a time when you need to use a lot of them in a short period of time. You don't want to run out. Perhaps have a few cloth diapers as a back-up also.
3. Take advantage of mfrs'/suppliers' offers of samples and you will eventually find one or two brands that you will be comfortable with.
4. Buy a few pairs of plastic pants that you can wear to prevent leaks if you get into a situation where you find you are having a problem with changing on time/excess flow.
5. When changing in public, note where you are most comfortable and use similar places/return to the same place. For example-Wal-Marts are pretty much the same, some fast food places are pretty much the same, highway rest stops usually have a very good accommodation.
Good luck, don't hesitate to ask questions/mention your successes here!
 

MetalMann

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I would say invest in a snap crotch shirt, and a pair of sport underwear like Under Armour. It will maximize your discretion. It will also keep your diaper from sagging and will keep things where they are supposed to be.

Another bit of advice is that if you could afford it, stick to premium diapers. Even Though I'm a DL, I enjoy the perks of diapers. I drive 18 wheelers for a living, and it helps with my time management. I wear thick diapers that will last me a good portion of the day. It eliminates the need to change in public (even though I can change in the bed in my truck.) You may think thicker diapers are like a light beacon going off, advertising to the world about your state. You have to realize that it's better than wet spots on your pants. The bulge is way more obvious to you, than to others. I've worn Belissimo diapers with booster pads in them. They are the only thing that can keep up with my needs all day.

Using diapers are way better than nasty public restrooms.

I'm not sure what you do for a living, but if it is possible, you should wear something capable enough to get you through the work day, eliminating those embarrassing changes in public.

Another thing to realize is that most people don't stare at your butt, no one is looking for someone wearing a diaper, they're fixed on whatever else that's in front of their noses.

There's nothing you can do to control those cold air spurts, but if you change in a warmer environment, it could help.
 

matt9615

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Thanks for all the advice. I don't have a problem changing at home but changing in public sucks. If it helps I was a bedwetter as a kid. I spend some of my time at a farm and at a bookstore.

It would be nice to have bladder control at times.

What is a crotch snap shirt?

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It's upsetting that I can't even control my own bladder. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Should I change immediately after wetting myself?
 

chuck

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What is a crotch snap shirt?

also known as a adult baby onesie [see on ebay]--change as soon as practical after wetting to prevent diaper rash and leaks.
 
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