New Symptoms and a lot of embarrassment

berrt

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  1. Incontinent
Little bit of a rant and embarrassment here....So I am a 30 year old male and have had excessive thirst and urine output for about 3 years now - drinking an average of 200-250 oz a day. I never said anything to my Dr before, because all annual blood tests came back normal. Last week I went back to my General Practitioner for my even more increased urine and urges/accidents (again did not test for high glucose). On Thursday we did a 24 hour volume test and consumed 6700ml of water and had an output of 4700ml of urine. Still waiting further testing.....

My family and I went out for dinner of Friday night and I had to get up 2 times during dinner to use the restroom - it was a full release each time and an emergency. When at Walmart we were looking at shampoo and I told her I was going to get some pull ups for the first time so that I wouldn't have to worry about making it to a restroom in public again. I got a pack of depends real fit for men. It was the most embarrassing thing I've done outside of telling my wife when I didn't make it to the bathroom after back to back meetings. I did find that after putting one on and wearing all day that I was "leaking" and not even knowing it until I went to the bathroom later on - I didn't notice this beforehand.

A few of my questions are:

1) If you are at home with mild and only sometimes accidents do you wear pull ups or diapers - and if you do, do you still try to make it to the bathroom if you're up every 30 minutes to pee? Sometimes it's painful and other times I have plenty of time to get to the bathroom.

2) How do you handle public events or going out to dinner with friends? Do you still drink alcohol or tell people why you're not?

3) How do you get over the embarrassment of wetting yourself in front of your wife or family even if wearing protection?

4) Does it ever get better? It just seems like it's getting worse and it is taking a toll mentally.
 
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Sorry to hear of your issues, first off it does get better . even if it gets worse it gets better to handle. I get by with pull-ups aroun the house most days, I will wear a diaper if going out and it will take care of all I need,
 
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chamberpot said:
Sorry to hear of your issues, first off it does get better . even if it gets worse it gets better to handle. I get by with pull-ups aroun the house most days, I will wear a diaper if going out and it will take care of all I need,
Do you still try to make it to the restroom at home? I'm still embarrassed to do that when I'm within reach of the toilet.
 
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berrt said:
200-250 oz a day
That’s extremely high fluid intake. It would make sense that you are peeing a lot. I would seek out a new doctor immediately for excessive thirst before doing anything else.

To answer your questions…
1. My bladder automatically empties between 125-150 ml. No time to ponder if I can make it unless I’m really dehydrated and I try not to go there. Diapers 24/7 unless I’m exercising then pull ups.

2. I stay diapered no matter what, including public events and I rarely drink alcohol.

3. I’m not embarrassed. It’s far more embarrassing to wet or mess my pants without a diaper, which has happened many times, mostly when I was a kid.

4. See a doctor to rule out serious illness and then weigh your options.
 
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berrt said:
Do you still try to make it to the restroom at home? I'm still embarrassed to do that when I'm within reach of the toilet.
sometimes i do
 
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Home: threaded armor or light tape on diaper

Public: always a safe and reliable tape on of Tranquility-ATN-quality or better.
 
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Eclectic said:
That’s extremely high fluid intake. It would make sense that you are peeing a lot. I would seek out a new doctor immediately for excessive thirst before doing anything else.

To answer your questions…
1. My bladder automatically empties between 125-150 ml. No time to ponder if I can make it unless I’m really dehydrated and I try not to go there. Diapers 24/7 unless I’m exercising then pull ups.

2. I stay diapered no matter what, including public events and I rarely drink alcohol.

3. I’m not embarrassed. It’s far more embarrassing to wet or mess my pants without a diaper, which has happened many times, mostly when I was a kid.

4. See a doctor to rule out serious illness and then weigh your options.
Thanks for the reply! I am luckily working with my Dr on the elimination game right now. They took a urine sample and sent it into the lab, so hopefully next week we will know what the next steps are.

I've been drinking this much for about 3 years give or take a bit, but what alarmed me a couple of weeks ago was my first accident trying to run up the stairs to the bathroom. I have also been flipping between constipation and really bad diarrhea (which I've also almost had accidents with at home). I had just been justifying many of my symptoms for various reasons, but now I'm starting to link them all together and document better. I'm still trying to learn as much as I can about what is going on and why I'm starting to lose control.
 
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Isn’t excessive thirst and urination hallmark diabetes?
 
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OneWhoHasSeenTheEye said:
Isn’t excessive thirst and urination hallmark diabetes?
My fasted blood glucose was tested within normal ranges when I went in right away.
 
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Hello berrt,
welcome to this forum! You're doing right being in contact with your Dr. - your fluid intake is a lot over "normal", according to that your pee output is also. This has to be examined, you must find the cause of all of this.
I myself (in my early 60ies) am UIC with a combined dribble- and urge incontinence since almost a year, so I can refer to your questions quite good.

berrt said:
1) If you are at home with mild and only sometimes accidents do you wear pull ups or diapers - and if you do, do you still try to make it to the bathroom if you're up every 30 minutes to pee? Sometimes it's painful and other times I have plenty of time to get to the bathroom.
Because of my dribble IC I always have to wear protection and decided, as I also have my urge IC, to rely on a better protection than only pull-ups - I wear over the day a belt type diaper which gives me also quick access to the toilet if I make it - and that's the answer to your question. I will always use the toilet for #2 as I have no issues with that. If an urge comes up AND I'm near the bathroom AND if I'm not deep into my work (home office) I'll try to make it to the toilet - if not, I have no issues to release into my diaper. The wish to make it to the toilet as often as ever possible decreased during my IC, I count now more on quality of life; I don't want to arrange my life around my IC, and with wearing proper protection you don't have to - you can continue living your normal life and activities as before!

berrt said:
2) How do you handle public events or going out to dinner with friends? Do you still drink alcohol or tell people why you're not?
As I said before - I continue living my happy and active life the same way as before of my IC, only difference is that since then I wear (discreetly of course) my diapers!

berrt said:
3) How do you get over the embarrassment of wetting yourself in front of your wife or family even if wearing protection?
I'm not embarrassed about that - it's a medical condition that I only have a very small time frame between "I have to go" and "it's coming out", and there is no way of interrupting everything and trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to reach the bathroom in time; I simply got used to it and can let it flow, nobody can remark that. Of course my wife knows about my IC, I shared since the beginning and she's fully understanding and supporting, so absolutely no reason to be embarrassed !

berrt said:
4) Does it ever get better? It just seems like it's getting worse and it is taking a toll mentally.
In my case I know that my IC is more or less permanent, with an according treatment I can only expect a decrease, but not a complete cure. I've made my peace with my IC, made the experience that I can continue my active and social life in the same way as I did before, that wearing protection is nothing uncomfortable and sometimes even better than having to rely on odd and dirty public restrooms !
 
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It sound like it could be partial diabetes insipidus, which is a pituitary issue. Your body may not produce enough anti diuretic hormone. This leads to excessive urine production. Chronic distension of the bladder can damage the tiny blood vessels that supply the nerves. Moderate damage can eliminate the sense of distension and weakness of the bladder neck, leading to a sudden feeling that your about to pee while having to physically hold it back. This happened to me.
 
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A note about “normal” results: if the general population begins to have elevated insulin resistance, insurance companies re-define normal. In other words, you can be a ‘normal level of unhealthy’ in their eyes. They just don’t want to foot the bill.
 
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OneWhoHasSeenTheEye said:
A note about “normal” results: if the general population begins to have elevated insulin resistance, insurance companies re-define normal. In other words, you can be a ‘normal level of unhealthy’ in their eyes. They just don’t want to foot the bill.
On that note I did just get my urine osmolality results back today and they were "normal" range as well. I got referred to an endocrinologist for my polydipsia and polyuria, but they are booked 6-8 weeks out. I will hopefully find the fastest appointment in my network by mid week this week.

I am pretty sure that the additional stress from this all is making the leaking and overactive bladder issues worse than it otherwise would be.
 
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Glad you tested negative for diabetes. You do have some of the symptoms so glad it isn't diabetes. It sounds like you're constantly feeling thirsty and I suppose that might have causes.
 
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dogboy said:
Glad you tested negative for diabetes. You do have some of the symptoms so glad it isn't diabetes. It sounds like you're constantly feeling thirsty and I suppose that might have causes.
Nonstop thirst. Average close to 200fl oz a day of intake!
 
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OneWhoHasSeenTheEye said:
Isn’t excessive thirst and urination hallmark diabetes?
Yes it is and it could be either type I or type II.
I am shocked that your doctor did not test as it is fast and simple with results prior to leaving the office!

I saw the discussion regarding 'normal' and that insurance groups love to use it to refuse payment.
That said: Non-primary-symptomatic diabetes is a silent killer.
Do not let them discount it and you need to request the test everytime you visit your doctor's office. My mother's side of my family all had readings just below the concern level, high normal. And so do I, Only difference is I will push over from time to time.
 
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berrt said:
Little bit of a rant and embarrassment here....So I am a 30 year old male and have had excessive thirst and urine output for about 3 years now - drinking an average of 200-250 oz a day. I never said anything to my Dr before, because all annual blood tests came back normal. Last week I went back to my General Practitioner for my even more increased urine and urges/accidents (again did not test for high glucose). On Thursday we did a 24 hour volume test and consumed 6700ml of water and had an output of 4700ml of urine. Still waiting further testing.....

My family and I went out for dinner of Friday night and I had to get up 2 times during dinner to use the restroom - it was a full release each time and an emergency. When at Walmart we were looking at shampoo and I told her I was going to get some pull ups for the first time so that I wouldn't have to worry about making it to a restroom in public again. I got a pack of depends real fit for men. It was the most embarrassing thing I've done outside of telling my wife when I didn't make it to the bathroom after back to back meetings. I did find that after putting one on and wearing all day that I was "leaking" and not even knowing it until I went to the bathroom later on - I didn't notice this beforehand.

A few of my questions are:

1) If you are at home with mild and only sometimes accidents do you wear pull ups or diapers - and if you do, do you still try to make it to the bathroom if you're up every 30 minutes to pee? Sometimes it's painful and other times I have plenty of time to get to the bathroom.

2) How do you handle public events or going out to dinner with friends? Do you still drink alcohol or tell people why you're not?

3) How do you get over the embarrassment of wetting yourself in front of your wife or family even if wearing protection?

4) Does it ever get better? It just seems like it's getting worse and it is taking a toll mentally.
Hi Berrt,

My IC started as mild and has thankfully almost completely stayed that way, but I do use either pull ups (which I used exclusively for about a year) or diapers 100% of the time. I am always at risk of a small leak, and I also always leak after using the washroom, so not wearing something isn't an option. Fortunately I got used to wearing them pretty fast. As an aside, I should admit up front now, too, that I also have a diaper fetish but I am genuinely incontinent, so that's my perspective on this reply :) To answer your question, yes I always go the bathroom normally which I why diapers that have strong refastenable tapes are a big deal for me.

For public events and such, I accepted quickly about 6 years ago that not wearing protection was not an option. Being wet - even a little - absolutely sucks, as does smelling bad (I've done both before I accepted that I needed to wear protection). Thankfully, my simple brain quickly equated feeling myself having a bladder leak, but also being protected, and I really liked that. It didn't take long for my pull ups to literally feel really good, even if they were bulky.

Because I've always used good products that are slightly more than what I technically "need" I've thankfully never had an accident (more on this in a moment!). I have, on a few occasions, had a bladder leak that was large enough to surprise me, and on one occasion I forgot myself and said "oh wow" out loud. My friend asked what was up, so I basically lied and said it was nasty heartburn.

Again, I'm speaking from the point of view of someone who found products to be uncomfortable at first, because the "novelty" of wearing them went away fast during that first week. But thankfully, I also adjusted quickly from that initial feeling of "god, am I stuck with this for life?" to having pull-ups and later on diapers just being part of my life. I honestly have come to find the bulky feeling to be comforting and I've even told a couple of close friends that I use adult diapers - and I sometimes make a self deprecating joke about it to keep the mood light.

Back to the part about wearing more than what I need: just this past weekend, I experienced a heavy urge incontinence situation for the first time, and was not able to make it to the bathroom on time. I'm so happy I was wearing a diaper rather than a thin pull up. The pull up probably would have protected me, but it would have been quite saturated.

Take care, Berrt and welcome!
 
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HalMidLife said:
Hi Berrt,

My IC started as mild and has thankfully almost completely stayed that way, but I do use either pull ups (which I used exclusively for about a year) or diapers 100% of the time. I am always at risk of a small leak, and I also always leak after using the washroom, so not wearing something isn't an option. Fortunately I got used to wearing them pretty fast. As an aside, I should admit up front now, too, that I also have a diaper fetish but I am genuinely incontinent, so that's my perspective on this reply :) To answer your question, yes I always go the bathroom normally which I why diapers that have strong refastenable tapes are a big deal for me.

For public events and such, I accepted quickly about 6 years ago that not wearing protection was not an option. Being wet - even a little - absolutely sucks, as does smelling bad (I've done both before I accepted that I needed to wear protection). Thankfully, my simple brain quickly equated feeling myself having a bladder leak, but also being protected, and I really liked that. It didn't take long for my pull ups to literally feel really good, even if they were bulky.

Because I've always used good products that are slightly more than what I technically "need" I've thankfully never had an accident (more on this in a moment!). I have, on a few occasions, had a bladder leak that was large enough to surprise me, and on one occasion I forgot myself and said "oh wow" out loud. My friend asked what was up, so I basically lied and said it was nasty heartburn.

Again, I'm speaking from the point of view of someone who found products to be uncomfortable at first, because the "novelty" of wearing them went away fast during that first week. But thankfully, I also adjusted quickly from that initial feeling of "god, am I stuck with this for life?" to having pull-ups and later on diapers just being part of my life. I honestly have come to find the bulky feeling to be comforting and I've even told a couple of close friends that I use adult diapers - and I sometimes make a self deprecating joke about it to keep the mood light.

Back to the part about wearing more than what I need: just this past weekend, I experienced a heavy urge incontinence situation for the first time, and was not able to make it to the bathroom on time. I'm so happy I was wearing a diaper rather than a thin pull up. The pull up probably would have protected me, but it would have been quite saturated.

Take care, Berrt and welcome!
Thank you for the reply! Do you have any preferences on diapers that are not quite so noisy and good at being refastened?

Unfortunately today completely soaked through one of the depend pull ups while working (luckily I work at home). The last couple of days there have been times that I don't necessarily notice I'm leaking and then I get a sudden urge to go. As soon as I felt that urge the flood gates opened basically and I didn't have time to run to the bathroom.

I do have several samples for pull ups to see if anything fits better than these and will hold a bit more for the times that I can't make it to the bathroom in time. This is still really hard to accept as really happening.
 
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berrt said:
Thank you for the reply! Do you have any preferences on diapers that are not quite so noisy and good at being refastened?

Unfortunately today completely soaked through one of the depend pull ups while working (luckily I work at home). The last couple of days there have been times that I don't necessarily notice I'm leaking and then I get a sudden urge to go. As soon as I felt that urge the flood gates opened basically and I didn't have time to run to the bathroom.

I do have several samples for pull ups to see if anything fits better than these and will hold a bit more for the times that I can't make it to the bathroom in time. This is still really hard to accept as really happening.
Hi Berrt,

For not noisy and good at being refastened, I find Tena Slip Ultra to be very good, and they work really well too. They aren't my first choice for the fit / feel (very subjective) but they don't disappoint for performance.

North Shore Megamax (not nearly as bulky as what one would think) are also quiet and have amazing tapes - perhaps the best I've used.

Lastly is one of my staples: a bit noisier than the above, but they work great and feel good to wear as well - very soft plastic shell. Speaking of Incontrol Essential briefs. I buy them two cases at a time because they are that good.

And yes...it's hard to accept. It took me an entire week to work up the nerve to tell my wife I was wearing pull-ups, and I cried a little when she hugged me.
 
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berrt said:
A few of my questions are:

1) If you are at home with mild and only sometimes accidents do you wear pull ups or diapers - and if you do, do you still try to make it to the bathroom if you're up every 30 minutes to pee? Sometimes it's painful and other times I have plenty of time to get to the bathroom.

2) How do you handle public events or going out to dinner with friends? Do you still drink alcohol or tell people why you're not?

3) How do you get over the embarrassment of wetting yourself in front of your wife or family even if wearing protection?

4) Does it ever get better? It just seems like it's getting worse and it is taking a toll mentally.
@berrt really sorry you are dealing with this. Here are my thoughts on your questions:

1. I do try to get to the bathroom whenever I can. I have stopped interrupting phone calls and other life events because of my bladder but I do try to hold it and use the bathroom. I've found that not trying causes my control to get worse faster.

2. At first my bladder ruled/ruined my social life. I didn't go out, I didn't drink, I didn't live... This made me depressed... I found ways to manage with pads/diapers and that gave me my life back. I don't share my situation with anyone that's not a good friend. I select my diaper for the type of occasion. I have pull-ups, day diapers, and night diapers. I'll wear a night diaper in specific situations (where I won't be able to change for a long time). I prefer to wear the least absorbent thing that works for an occasion... Even after dealing with this for almost 30 years, I still try to be discreet. Though, by now there are dozens of people that know me and know about this.

3. I think you may be asking the wrong question... I found that once I accepted my situation, the embarrassment subsided. Family tended in my case to be far more forgiving of myself than I was. I hope you can find peace with this sooner than the 10+ years it took me. The cause of this is most likely far better than some terminal illness... Once I accepted the disease and looked at this from the perspective of how much better I was off than say someone with stage 3 bladder cancer, acceptance was easier for me.

4. It gets better for some and worse for others. I hope they find the source of your issue and that it gets much better for you. Even if it doesn't get better, you will get better at managing it...

My best wishes for you.
 
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