New mom here.

[jimmy4444]

Hi Jessicamom

Why doesn’t he change himself? At 13, a young persons body is changing, and they would want things to be more private.

 

[Jessicamom]

I greatly appreciate each and every reply. I have read every one of them. Several people have contacted me thu private messages which I really appreciate and am in the process of replying to them. Someone let me know that this introduction is just that an introduction and this post is going a little past that. So please send me private messages and I will get back to you. I'm really looking forward to visiting with each of you.

 

[Jessicamom]

Hi Jessicamom

Why doesn’t he change himself? At 13, a young persons body is changing, and they would want things to be more private.

I just realized I can’t start a conversation with people yet as I haven’t been on here 7 days. Feel free to message me and I will answer any questions you have. Thanks.

 

[Zeke]

I was just thinking about how my mother must have felt about my attraction to plastic pants back in the late ‘50s. This was was way before the internet and to my knowledge there was little or nothing available dealing with this attraction. Knowing her I’m sure she must have felt as though her, or my father had done something in raising me to cause my unusual desire. And for myself I can say that there were many times when I wondered what was wrong with me and why I had these desires. It would’ve been a relief for both my mom and myself to know that I wasn’t the only one experiencing this and that nothing my parents had done had caused it. It’s too bad that some people that can’t manage to control their actions have caused this site to be so paranoid about young users, to the point where even a concerned parent’s use is questioned . I do appreciate those of you that are on the spectrum giving advice from your life experience to Jessica that many of us don’t have the experiences to be qualified to offer. Good luck with your son and bless you for doing everything that you can.

 

[winterheart01]

That being said, I would seek medical intervention first via a pediatric urologist. This is mainly to diagnose and check for any sort of serious medical issues that have been overlooked. Plenty of things can cause someone to have no control. If the doc says you kid is fine, then go from there.

Read post # 18 then look up on Austism and sensory issues.
It's not unusual for children with autism to be unaware of the signals to go, and there's no urologist that can "fix" it , they only thing that could be done depending on the level of how far he's in the spectrum is a routine training to try and make him aware, but this does not always work and if children with autism past 6 - 7 are still not trained, there's little guarantee it might work.

Hi Jessicamom

Why doesn’t he change himself? At 13, a young persons body is changing, and they would want things to be more private.

Again, autism as many shapes and forms, and I may be the wrong person to tell because I do not have it but many others here do and can clarify it far more and better, but from what I have learned from them is that self care can be difficult for some, please try to understand that some children with autism need more guidance and time before they are able to take care of themselves more and more, don't be like most parents that say "my child is 2 and can't walk yet "
If his mental development allows, he will eventually learn, but it requires a lot of patience, time and attention, however there is a chance it will never work.
And as already mentioned by @Jessicamom she mentioned that his personal hygiene also needs work, which is again not uncommon for children with autism, regardless of age.
I personally would say, one thing at a time, and avoid stress for both parent and child.
The thing is a lot of people with autism learn to work with spoons as a mental energy counter and when they run out, they need to recharge those in order to function.
At this age it is indeed important to work on skills to be able to take care of yourself, but one thing at a time. And diapers are not the worst thing in life, being able to get food and cook it , wash yourself, dress yourself, etc is a bit more important (just to give an example)
But that's more for the parent to decide, thing is, if he needs them at night and sometimes at day, any stressful even will cause an unannounced accident, then you really wish he was wearing one.
Sensory awareness of the "I gotta go" signal is a primary requirement if you want to teach him to be potty trained, if that isn't there, and with autism this happens a lot depending on the level, there's no point in beginning.

 

[Honeywell6180]

Hi. I’m new here. Not sure if I am even allowed on here. You see I am here looking for help, support, guidance for my son. He is only 13 is why I don’t know if it’s ok to be on here. He has been a bed wetter his entire life. We have tried pull-ups off and on but they leaked so we always went back to regular diapers. Also on and off he would have day time accidents. The last few months he was asking to be diapered earlier than normal before bed and would be wet before bed so we would change him. Someone told me about diaper lovers so I started doing a little research. I decided when school was out I would ask him in the morning if he wanted another diaper instead of underwear and regular cloths and see what his reaction was. When I asked he was surprised I asked and was a little hesitant but said yes. It’s been 2 weeks now and he is in diapers all the time now. Our agreement is he will not poop in them. He seems so happy. So much happier than before. I just don’t know if I am doing any harm in allowing this. Will there be any long term effects? Psychological damage?

No harm in allowing him to wear them all the time. I would consider it a medical issue, and may even be related to the autism spectrum. I agree in his not being allowed to defecate in them, as that would make him socially unacceptable for obvious reasons. I would even go as far as having him use the restroom as much as possible. The point is, the diapers are helping him function better. And for that reason, you may wish to consider a doctor's prescription. Best of luck.

 

[HomeAlone]

FWIW there are plenty of prior posts over the months that refer to kids. I remember one specifically that asked if anyone had ever witnessed a child being asked to be put back in diapers, and another where someone talked about realizing a larger child in some circumstance had a diaper on. I've seen people talking about potty training children. There have been many. No one is sexualizing this child in particular, and the OP is only asking for guidance. I applaud her for reaching out to find support for herself and her child as they navigate this issue. This is one of the more respectful and thoughtful venues to do that in.

 

[Deleted member 9978]

Oh good grief. What blatant fap fiction.

This is disgusting.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Hi Jessicamom. I couldn’t see anyone having mentioned already but apologies if I just missed it. I’d just like to add that DL activity is also sometimes a coping mechanism for some people with gender dysphoria. It may not be relevant at the moment but possibly something just to be aware about going forward. Well done on being such a supportive parent. I’m a parent myself so I know how challenging it can be!

Lately, I have been thinking that things like this are probably more common than is discussed.

I know that AB/DL is not all people whom are going to turn out to be transexual or even homosexual, however, even when some sexual identity issues are involved.

Back when I was bisexual, there was a period where I could often only think about women all the way through if I was having a diaper fantasy. Otherwise, I would often think about guys right at the end or struggle to get my thoughts back to girls before I finished.

I am now back to heterosexual. My fantasies still frequently include diapers.

There were a number of other factors, though, so I'm not sure how much of that is just correlated and how much is causal. I do recall there being some significant overlap, though.

I sometimes fantasized about doing what Jenner did, keeping my parts but changing the rest of my body, but I never seriously considered going through with it. A lot of my fantasies didn't involve such things.

I was an Ageplayer long before I had any sexuality issues and I was DL long before I had those fantasies of becoming a sort of Shemale, though, and I now want a woman to build up my self-esteem as a man. Back then, I was getting very masochistic. Now, I'm back to wanting more nurturing.

I may have to make a thread about this, to see what kind of responses it will get.

 

[icklespace]

Unless I dose not have the ability to then he should really be changing himself. It could just for comfort or sexual (being 13 and hormonal) could be a mixture of both. I see you talked about boundaries and that's awesome just remember boundaries can be move at any point and don't forget you can set boundaries if you think they will help him down the line.

Although I personally find it weird that you still chang your son's diaper at the age of 13, As in the question you have not mentioned the motor capability of your son so I think it is safe to assume he is able bodied

 

[icklespace]

Oh good grief. What blatant fap fiction.

This is disgusting.

Was thinking the same thing. I wouldn't be surprised if OP is actually 13

 

[KyteFasnir]

Umm no this is not acceptable 18 plus site reported

the OP isn't under age, and they're using the site as intended, they're not the first nor the last parent who used the site. IF OP was talking about forcing their kid in diapers then it would be against terms of service but they are not

 

[icklespace]

the OP isn't under age, and they're using the site as intended, they're not the first nor the last parent who used the site. IF OP was talking about forcing their kid in diapers then it would be against terms of service but they are not

It may not be against T&Ss but it dose seem really creepy the OP is changing their able bodied son's diapers at the age of 13. In no way dose this seem appropriate. This dose sound like OP's fantasy, which means it should be in 'stories' if anything.

 

[crooke3]

It may not be against T&Ss but it dose seem really creepy the OP is changing their able bodied son's diapers at the age of 13. In no way dose this seem appropriate. This dose sound like OP's fantasy, which means it should be in 'stories' if anything.

Yeah what she's describing is a fairly common ABDL fantasy so OP should be aware that many of the responses and private messages she'll be receiving will be from fantasists with ulterior motives. Whether its ethical in of itself or not because the diapers meet a mental health need, there's a cultural context here which includes ABDL as a sexual fetish, as well as both munchausen by proxy and pedophilia, which makes changing a fully continent 13 year old's diaper unethical almost as a rule.

If it is just OPs fantasy then who cares. We don't want proof or identifying information, so we can't know. The fact is that a lot of autistic 13 year olds do love diapers for whatever reason, and once in a while a parent will be genuinely supportive in an exceptional way, so the best we can do is try to help.

 

[crooke3]

Also its flatly unethical for anyone to be private messaging OP when i can't think of any other reason than to avoid moderators.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Oh good grief. What blatant fap fiction.

This is disgusting.

Honestly, I was afraid of the same. I was like "Has he not developed yet and/or how is he disabled?"

I seem to recall her saying that he did well in school but later seemed like she changed it to saying that he's mentally challenged. If he's only doing well in some special ed. program, I'm not sure it's really all that relevant.

There was also the bit about how he does get erections but so do children, but - even though I hear that's possible - I think she needs to have a serious discussion with her son about Incest. She says that he doesn't have sexual feelings toward her, which I hope it's true.

I don't know how typical or atypical people will consider this, but just so everyone knows my frame of reference:

I *kind of* was okay with being naked around my parents until 12 but liked/felt mature having privacy since 8. My brother was given that at 8 so I wanted it at 8. Puberty at 12 and I wanted more privacy, but still only really felt I *needed* it when I wanted to touch myself or it just grew. Otherwise, I was *kind of* still a kid. 13 and I felt more need for privacy. It just got stronger, after that.

Way too many on this site seem or definitely are okay with Incest. People will complain when a Pedophile shows up but not everyone complains of the Incest.

Scientifically, you shouldn't go to a second cousin or closer. Fifth and further removed are no different than usual. Third and fourth have some increases in risks, but also some potential rewards of life expectancy and fertility.

I responded to her like if it were a genuine inquiry, which will maybe help someone else, down the road, if not her family, since maybe I didn't have all the details and those could explain it medically, but I obviously thought something amiss.

 

[icklespace]

Yeah what she's describing is a fairly common ABDL fantasy so OP should be aware that many of the responses and private messages she'll be receiving will be from fantasists with ulterior motives. Whether its ethical in of itself or not because the diapers meet a mental health need, there's a cultural context here which includes ABDL as a sexual fetish, as well as both munchausen by proxy and pedophilia, which makes changing a fully continent 13 year old's diaper unethical almost as a rule.

If it is just OPs fantasy then who cares. We don't want proof or identifying information, so we can't know. The fact is that a lot of autistic 13 year olds do love diapers for whatever reason, and once in a while a parent will be genuinely supportive in an exceptional way, so the best we can do is try to help.

Im not saying this can't happen But the OP doesn't specify anything neurological or physical disabilities of theirs son. Do its hard to figure out the context. And it would have been a useful information in the original question.

 

[crooke3]

Im not saying this can't happen But the OP doesn't specify anything neurological or physical disabilities of theirs son. Do its hard to figure out the context. And it would have been a useful information in the original question.

OP specifically stated their son is autistic on a very early reply, and that he experiences bedwetting.

Honestly, I was afraid of the same. I was like "Has he not developed yet and/or how is he disabled?"

I seem to recall her saying that he did well in school but later seemed like she changed it to saying that he's mentally challenged. If he's only doing well in some special ed. program, I'm not sure it's really all that relevant.

Thatguyfromthatthread: the idea that autistic people can't do well in mainstream school is flatly ableist and unacceptable. Autism is a set of neurological sensory/social/communication differences and not necessarily an intellectual disability. Please stick to talking to what you know about on a forum with so many autistic and disabled members.

 

[blaincorrous]

I don’t like the turn this thread has taken toward rule hunting and investigating. We should be giving help to those who consistently present themselves as following our rules. I sincerely hope the OP isn’t trying to pull one over on us as no one likes being lied to, but I haven’t had any indication this is fap-fiction.

I sincerely hope we’ve been able to help here aside from simple validation, but I also strongly suggest the OP seeks out advice from their pediatrician and ASD specialists. While we tend to be a validating community, sometimes that validation takes a dark turn. You can always find SOMEONE who will validate harmful practices

As it pertains to disabled minors, there are guidelines that need to be followed, especially if there is a possibility that what you’re doing eventually runs afoul of the authorities. I simply cannot stomach being party to a family separation or abuse. Not that I’m making any accusations, just that I’d feel more comfortable with your child’s medical team having first dibs on this matter.

 

[icklespace]

OP specifically stated their son is autistic on a very early reply, and that he experiences bedwetting.




Thatguyfromthatthread: the idea that autistic people can't do well in mainstream school is flatly ableist and unacceptable. Autism is a set of neurological sensory/social/communication differences and not necessarily an intellectual disability. Please stick to talking to what you know about on a forum with so many autistic and disabled members.

I apologise for not reading the comments. I still think that should have been mentioned in the original question as it would have saved a lot of the negativity. And I would like to apologise to Jessica mommy for being so accusatory