New and struggling with PTSD incontinence

SaturnineAcceptance

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This is hard but I have no where else to go. I have delt with night terrors most of my life due to complex PTSD. Those were troublesome but manageable.

Within the last couple of years I have developed night time incontinence also. I've already spoken to my psychiatrist and I'm on several medications already (but for other mental ailments/no physical related meds). He didn't have any ideas specifically for this. I also saw my OB to check my uterus/bladder position (fine/high up) and went to a Urologist. I have no physical causes for incontinence that they could find.

However, this problem is destroying my life and marriage. Even with adult diapers I have destroyed three king sized mattresses in these two years and number four hasn't even been switched to yet because my husband has no faith in me.

Please help me! How do I fix the current situation and how do I get a better future? I don't even know who to return to or what to ask for in regards to medical help.

The diapers I've used have been almost every adult brand I've seen in online reviews, excluding the side strap fitting ones. That might be part of the issue but I cannot get those to stay on with the movement issues associated with night terrors. So I have to use pull up style briefs. I haven't been going the cheap route either and it makes this even harder to justify. I went with Tranquility first and have gone through and read many reviews; even trying the space inspired Natural Care. None have made it consistently through an overnight. I'm currently using LivDry Ultimate and still having the issues. I will admit I do not use underpads or boosters. But I feel like if I add that expense I shouldn't be paying so much per diaper. Even an afternoon nap needs one. So minimum 30 per month but usually 60 as my sleep is broken up. Once I fall asleep I get no signals to wake up and go and I produce so much at night that all brands oversaturate. I can't set alarms to go either as I will not hear them. Voices wake me up but not alarms.

Just looking for advice for now (almost no dry nights yet and not only are the mattresses expensive but my husband hates me for this) and also advice for later (I've seen in online research things like Nocturia for night time overproduction but the med warning says don't take if you bed wet... So I don't know which DR to go to for help or what to say anymore).

This is difficult for me to fix, but doing nothing will cause me to lose everything.
 
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flipside

Contributor
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112
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Incontinent
None of the brands you mentioned are actually all that great (either from experience or what I've read others say). Try northshore supreme, Northshore megamax, or betterdry.

Also if one of the problems is the diaper coming undone as you move around in your sleep, wear something over your diaper. I like onesies, but yoga pants or even a pair of underwear or something over the top of them might help things stay in place.

And wearing a diaper to bed is not an excuse not to protect the mattress. Put on a waterproof mattress protector under your sheets, and maybe an absorbent bed pad over your sheets. Leaks happen even at the best of times, or diapers unexpectedly fail (I've had one split down the center at the wetness indicator, or tapes unstick). I actually have a double layer of mattress protectors sandwiched between sheets; mattress, zip around waterproof mattress protector, sheets, waterproof mattress protector with stretchy sides, sheets... if i wakeup in the middle of the night and my bed is wet iI I strip the top layer of protection and change into a fresh diaper and my bed is still protected without me needing to spend forever making my bed up. I fix it all ther next day. Haven't needed to use the second layer since the last time I was sick, but i keep it up because it doesn't hurt anything and was a huge help before i found diapers that lasted me all night.

Lastly if voices wake you up and other things don't, maybe try an alarm clock that uses a voice instead of a noise. I've seen them mostly for young children but I'm sure there are apps if you want to wake up to use the bathroom instead of finding something to last you all night.
 

Petya217

Est. Contributor
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50
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Incontinent
Adding to what flipside said, you can also try a PUL pants over your diaper. That can help reach leaks.

Also, I hate to say this, but you should figure it out with your husband. This is not something you willfully do and he must understand this and support you, at least emotionally. Maybe you could try inviting him a few times to your psychiatrist's sessions. He might get a better understanding and help you, instead of adding extra stress.
 

ozziebee

Est. Contributor
Messages
241
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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
Absolutely try the premium diapers that Dlipside suggested. You could also add to the mix booster pads for overnight, which go inside the diaper for extra capacity.

When dressing for bed, wear a premium diaper, then a Molicare or Tena stretch pant, then a PUL pant (like the Gary Activewear PUL pant).

Then you could go further and wear a onesie, which keeps everything in place, allowing you to move around in bed. Search for Onesies Downunder for some plain ones, or be a bit adventurous and get a printed one!

Also, absolutely get a bed pad and mattress protector, just in case leaks still do happen.
 

Moo

ADISC Admin
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Suggestions:
  1. Start with high-quality diapers. Something like Crinklz. We've done scientific tests on diapers and they have (if memory serves) the best absorbency of any adult diaper. Northshore also sells them at a very competitive price. If you want something that looks different then you should at least read the summary data on diaper testing that we've gathered, and pick something near the best. DO NOT settle for random brands you see advertised, or talked about online, most of them are terrible. This goes double for anything you see in a physical store. Adult diapers sold in physical stores are always terrible.
  2. Consider adding a stuffer for extra absorbency.
  3. Try plastic pants.
  4. Put a waterproof sheet on the bed. They go between the sheet and the mattress, they're not noticible, and they WILL save your mattress. They're extremely cheap too, relative to the cost of a new mattress. They're probably a good idea even if you don't wet the bed, as they prevent things like bugs in the mattress (surprisingly common) from getting to you.
  5. Take special care about your sleep hygiene. Things like going to bed at / getting up at the same time every day. If you need an alarm clock with a programmable sound, like a human voice, get one.
  6. Talk with your husband. Make it clear you're taking responsibility for doing everything you can to address the problem.
  7. Talk with your doctor. Bedwetting, while distressing, may only be a symptom of serious PTSD. You probably need to treat the PTSD for the symptom of bedwetting to eventually go away.
  8. One thing I have found helpful is Theanine. Specifically this. It is an over-the-counter dietary supplement that contains the active ingredient from green tea. It has a calming effect and enables you to better resist mental stress. I am not sure if it would work for PTSD but I have suggested it to other people who have had horrible issues sleeping and they've told me it has helped them enormously. I suggest that you try it too, but be sure to tell your doctor just in case it interacts with any of your other drugs. It shouldn't.... but mention it anyway just to be safe. Your doctor may caution you against the use of supplements, and they're right to do so - most supplements are poor quality, impure and often ineffective. I know that one works as described, but be wary of trying to use supplements in general. Do your own research before purchasing any.
 
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SaturnineAcceptance

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Thank you everyone! I will absorb all of this and fix the short term. I had no idea that all of the advertised brands were low quality. I'm not anti diaper at all. I need them and I'm not yet 30, but this current situation is no good.
 

Slomo

Est. Contributor
Messages
7,402
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
This is hard but I have no where else to go. I have delt with night terrors most of my life due to complex PTSD. Those were troublesome but manageable.

Within the last couple of years I have developed night time incontinence also. I've already spoken to my psychiatrist and I'm on several medications already (but for other mental ailments/no physical related meds). He didn't have any ideas specifically for this. I also saw my OB to check my uterus/bladder position (fine/high up) and went to a Urologist. I have no physical causes for incontinence that they could find.

However, this problem is destroying my life and marriage. Even with adult diapers I have destroyed three king sized mattresses in these two years and number four hasn't even been switched to yet because my husband has no faith in me.

Please help me! How do I fix the current situation and how do I get a better future? I don't even know who to return to or what to ask for in regards to medical help.

The diapers I've used have been almost every adult brand I've seen in online reviews, excluding the side strap fitting ones. That might be part of the issue but I cannot get those to stay on with the movement issues associated with night terrors. So I have to use pull up style briefs. I haven't been going the cheap route either and it makes this even harder to justify. I went with Tranquility first and have gone through and read many reviews; even trying the space inspired Natural Care. None have made it consistently through an overnight. I'm currently using LivDry Ultimate and still having the issues. I will admit I do not use underpads or boosters. But I feel like if I add that expense I shouldn't be paying so much per diaper. Even an afternoon nap needs one. So minimum 30 per month but usually 60 as my sleep is broken up. Once I fall asleep I get no signals to wake up and go and I produce so much at night that all brands oversaturate. I can't set alarms to go either as I will not hear them. Voices wake me up but not alarms.

Just looking for advice for now (almost no dry nights yet and not only are the mattresses expensive but my husband hates me for this) and also advice for later (I've seen in online research things like Nocturia for night time overproduction but the med warning says don't take if you bed wet... So I don't know which DR to go to for help or what to say anymore).

This is difficult for me to fix, but doing nothing will cause me to lose everything.
You need better diapers first and foremost! There is no pullup or store brand diaper which is good enough for overnight wetting either. Take a look at northshorecare.com. Betterdry or megamax is likely what you need. Yes they are more expensive, but you get what you pay for, and these diapers actually work. Also, why are you trying to save $0.50 on a diaper when they are costing you $500+ for a new mattress?

Also get a waterproof mattress protector! Any mattress store, and even walmart sell decent ones for about $50. Well worth it compared to the cost of a mattress.
 

eastcoastdl

Contributor
Messages
125
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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I also have nocturnal enuresis (aka "bedwetting"), wear MegaMax diapers at night, and I totally agree with what everyone else has said, but I just want to add one thing that you should know. Each diaper brand fits differently, and everyone's body is different, this means that some diapers will fit your body better than others. What works perfectly for some people will leak for others - that's why it's best to get samples (if you chat online with, or call, the people at NorthShoreCare.com they'll send some for free). You also have to ensure you're taping them on correctly (ensuring a snug but not too tight fit). You can find plenty of guides on taping on this forum (and videos on YouTube can help, too).
 

Brandi

Contributor
Messages
45
Role
Incontinent
There's a lot of good advice here, but let me add what I've learned. I have C-PTSD too.

1. Use a full zippered waterproof mattress protector. I've had too many failures with covers that rely on elastic like a fitted sheet.

2. Put a breathable mattress pad over the zippered protector. This reduces the hot and sweaty feel of a crinkly mattress cover. Get one that repels water in addition to being breathable. That gives double protection to the mattress.

3. Put a large cloth diaper (maybe a large bath towel would work?) directly under the top sheet and under the place where YOU (not your partner) sleeps. It will absorb leaks and keep your partner from getting wet. This one trick eliminated problems with my partner when I was regularly sleeping with one. When I woke up in a wet bed, I changed, then pulled-out the wet diaper/pad and put a dry one over the top of the sheet for the remainder of the night. I washed the bedding in the morning after we were both up.

4. I use high quality disposables such as Dry 24/7 most nights. When I go through a phase of heavy night wetting (or the budget is just tight), I use cloth diapers and pull-on plastic pants. No disposable comes close to the security of cloth diapers. This is especially true for side sleepers.

5. Two daytime cloth diapers are better than one overnight weight diaper. They come clean easier in the wash and they dry faster. I bought mine from adultclothdiaper.com. They had the best price and a quality product. They will last for years.

6. I like the PEVA "classic plastic pants" from baby-pants.com. They are noisy, but they don't get hard and crack like vinyl. They are way cheaper in the long run. They crinkle, but it doesn't matter at night.

7. Good quality adult-sized diaper pins are a must. Light-weight pins or child-sized pins bend and release if you move around a lot in your sleep.
 

Andrewgdfw

Contributor
Messages
304
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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
There's a lot of good advice here, but let me add what I've learned. I have C-PTSD too.

1. Use a full zippered waterproof mattress protector. I've had too many failures with covers that rely on elastic like a fitted sheet.

2. Put a breathable mattress pad over the zippered protector. This reduces the hot and sweaty feel of a crinkly mattress cover. Get one that repels water in addition to being breathable. That gives double protection to the mattress.

3. Put a large cloth diaper (maybe a large bath towel would work?) directly under the top sheet and under the place where YOU (not your partner) sleeps. It will absorb leaks and keep your partner from getting wet. This one trick eliminated problems with my partner when I was regularly sleeping with one. When I woke up in a wet bed, I changed, then pulled-out the wet diaper/pad and put a dry one over the top of the sheet for the remainder of the night. I washed the bedding in the morning after we were both up.

4. I use high quality disposables such as Dry 24/7 most nights. When I go through a phase of heavy night wetting (or the budget is just tight), I use cloth diapers and pull-on plastic pants. No disposable comes close to the security of cloth diapers. This is especially true for side sleepers.

5. Two daytime cloth diapers are better than one overnight weight diaper. They come clean easier in the wash and they dry faster. I bought mine from adultclothdiaper.com. They had the best price and a quality product. They will last for years.

6. I like the PEVA "classic plastic pants" from baby-pants.com. They are noisy, but they don't get hard and crack like vinyl. They are way cheaper in the long run. They crinkle, but it doesn't matter at night.

7. Good quality adult-sized diaper pins are a must. Light-weight pins or child-sized pins bend and release if you move around a lot in your sleep.
agree to much of what you say here, Brandi. good and practical advice gained thru years of experience with bladder incontinence. yes, I'm also a cloth and waterproof pants user (vinyl and rubber) at times when I experience heavy wetting.
 
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CptMartins

Est. Contributor
Messages
31
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Diaper Lover, Carer
So, without being 100% sure what advice you are actually seeking, whether it being about incontince supplies or the underlying issues for your night time incontinence, allow me to be a little controversial.

Following is just my personal thoughts and ''advice''. Take it, use it or dont :)

I have some experience with night terrors and sleep paralysis, and know a couple others who have struggled with it regularly.

First off, being comfortable during sleep, is essential. Too much protection, too thick diaper, too much clothing and multiple plasticpants might not make things better, but worsen them. Make sure to try out different diapers, both clothbacked and PU backed, so that you find the one that are both sufficient to dealing with your incontinence, but also makes you feel comfortable. This also goes for protection on top of the diaper, PUL pants etc.

Like others have pointed out, using a pull-up diaper for the night is a bit optimistic :) You should go for the tape-style ones, and those with maximum absorbancy.

Having a body on top for me, would be too ''fixating'', but maybe it works for you.

Second, you should really get a good long talk with your husband about this. He might be acknowledging whats happening, but if he is not 100% supporting you, it definitely won't help your situation.

Last.. This is where i might be abit controversial.

Have you tried out CBD-oil? This should really be super helpful to alot of people with sleep problems. Especially those who struggle with night terrors and PTSD. Make sure to talk to an expert or specialist about it beforehand, IF you decide to try it.

Also, meditating have been super helpful for me. Doesnt have to be much. Just 5 minutes a day, and you'll notice a difference in your sleep. Atleast i did.

All i have left to say is good luck, and i hope that you will get it sorted out. //CM
 
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