new and nervous

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stoopidmonkey

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I have searched online to find a forum that felt right. I believe this is the one I need. I am deeply in love with an amazing man. He was very brave and talked about his diaper fetish with me very early on. The desires he described were not so far out of my comfort zone as to scare me. I have happily participated and it works well because I am a nurturing mom and have enjoyed it. None of this bothered me until yesterday. We attended a birthday party for a 3 year old at a popular children's amusement center. He pointed out several little girls with big saggy filled diapers and how cute it was peeking out beneath their dresses. He spent a majority of the time with a barely 2 year old girl on his lap telling her how pretty she is. Several times he asked me to look at her pretty eyes and etc. I am now concerned because he has been pointing out underage girls, particularly if they are too old to need diapers but require them for other reasons such as mental disabilities and physical challenges. I am not sure how to react to this. It really upset me. I couldn't talk to him because I was so worried about how much it will hurt him. What can I do?

I just sent him a text letting him know the feelings I am having. And that I love him and I am working on educating myself. I completely understand why he enjoys this form of happiness. This amazing man has cared for his parents his entire life til the death of his father and now care taking his mother. He desperately needs to be the one cared and nurtured. I am happy to provide that for him. I was just saw disturbed by the amount of physical attention he was giving the young girls.
 

Sheepies

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Welcome to ADISC monkey! Before I put in my two cents, might I say how admirable it is to be willing to look more into a situation before going in uninformed? You sound like a wonderful wife any man would be lucky to have. Many of us are too afraid to disclose these activities to anyone other than themselves and I feel like you two are a beautiful couple to be able to have such honesty and acceptance of each other.

I can see your concerns very clearly, but the vast majority of diaper lovers are not interested in children sexually like the stereotype may infer. Usually what people find comfort in with this taboo is the feeling of innocence and the care free lifestyle of a very young one as opposed to an adult with responsibilities and obligations that bear down on them.

It sounds to me like what your husband is exhibiting is envy or maybe even a little bit of insecurity seeing the cute little ones without a care in the world who can walk around in diapers without feeling judged. Of course, I can't speak for him 100% since I don't know him nor the situation thoroughly. These are just my views from the perspective of another diaper lover.

As long as there's no "bad touches" I don't particularly see anything wrong with him being around small children. In fact, it's very good for him to be showing the little girl from your story positive attention as it helps builds her developing psyche and self image.
 

umedirty

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I just want to say I am new and nervous but your welcome was much better then mine hehe hi and hugs
 

Andrewgdfw

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" the amount of physical attention he was giving the young girls.[/QUOTE] "

The part that grabbed my eyeball and DISTURBED me is your specific mention of his PHYSICAL attention to the children. That would set up bright red flags to me instantly. And then his continued fascination and point outs to those kids with special needs or disability ??? huh ??

Furthermore, at the party, they were not his children and the main attractor was their 'diaper'. OK, I'll say it flat out: that's creepy and perverted.

Follow your initial gut instinct in this case...and don'w worry about hurting HIM. It's the children who are at risk...GET IT?


'nuff said.
 

stoopidmonkey

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He has very legitimate reasons for wanting to be an innocent child with no obligations and no responsibility for his parents or others. The child he held on his lap and spoke about is his great niece. It actually made me jealous in a weird way because he kept saying how pretty she is. And she is, it just wasn't something I expected. He never married never had kids and has been selflessly devoted to his family his entire life. And we aren't married. We only met a month ago. We gave just had an intense connection. He is a fascinating man with a heart that glows from miles away.
 

ozbub

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First hi. If this were a fairly isolated incident, probably no biggy, but if as you say, there is constant reference, you would be right to be concerned. As an ab myself, I guess I am somewhat more aware of other small kids especially if I'm in a regressive mindset, but only in a childish curiosity way ... I think you know how kids engage. What you are describing does appear a little too focussed on creepy things. To ease your mind you must talk with him about it. This sort of behaviour is not typically abdl
 

dogboy

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I was thinking the same as ozbub. Your boyfriend's behavior may be very innocent, or there may be more to it. I too think it's something that you should talk to him about. I find little kids in diapers as looking cute, but that's where it stops. Since you've only known him for a month, keep your eyes open.
 

Craver

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Understanding AB/DL preferences is admirabe. However, I was wary of him sitting for so long with the 2 year old girl on his lap. Yes, this man who cared for his parents needs care and love as we all do. But a guy like that could end up in jail and who would take care of you.
 

Andrewgdfw

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Apparently what is overlooked by some should be the over-riding concern for the infant / child...
instead of expressing rationalizations for behaviors described as the 'innocent' intentions of an adult.

Near or even distant relatives are NO preventative for purulent behaviors...often those are the very low-life people who are most likely to act out on children.

I'd wager that the same child NOT in diapers would have been NO attraction to that adult. It was diapered children that sparked him. Still, diapered or not, there are so many ways to show love and respect for the child that does NOT involve things like lap sitting. Think about it.
 

ORBaby

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I wonder if he might lean towards being a sissy. His interest in the little girls might be envy. What ever it is should be talked about.
 

Cottontail

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stoopidmonkey said:
(Great intro!)

First off, welcome to ADISC! It's always really inspiring to receive significant others and spouses of ABDLs interested in learning about our unusual little world and how to better embrace it.

As others have suggested, though, this does seem like a thing best discussed with him. You mention texting him about it, so perhaps the conversation has already taken place. If so, I hope it was a productive one, and I hope that he managed to calm your nerves.

Diapers and babies going hand-in-hand, I suppose it's natural to wonder whether a sexual attraction to diapers comes with other, more troublesome attractions. Happily, the "p word" doesn't seem to correlate strongly with ABDL at all, and may be no more prevalent here than in the wider world. So is that what you glimpsed? It's possible, sure. Or perhaps your boyfriend simply lacks due restraint in situations involving diapers. The gazes of men have been known to dwell a bit too long on women's chests, for example, and people with diaper fetishes may be similarly disposed to distraction by babies' diapers. That wouldn't necessarily be a sign of bigger problems to come, but it could certainly be a source of ongoing discomfort and embarrassment for you, and that would be understandable. Most of us, whether we are sexually attracted to the opposite gender, to objects like diapers, or to other things, learn early on that displays of sexuality are to be dispensed with care. Otherwise, they're too easily misconstrued as unwanted advances, and they may indicate a lack of self control or social acuity as well. I'm hopeful that, in the case of your boyfriend, that is all you observed. Perhaps, with your assistance, he can find appropriate ways of coping with his desires.

Best wishes to you and your boyfriend!
 
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stoopidmonkey

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We have had several wonderful discussions since I first posted. We are both comfortable and happy with the results. I admitted to him that I felt an odd sense of jealousy. I think it goes back to my 25 years of marriage to a man who had zero interest in me. Since meeting this fantastic man, I have gotten quite used to his consistent flattery and I love it! I am so glad each of you encouraged the same thing, COMMUNICATION. Thank you so very much!
 

Cottontail

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We have had several wonderful discussions since I first posted. We are both comfortable and happy with the results. I admitted to him that I felt an odd sense of jealousy. I think it goes back to my 25 years of marriage to a man who had zero interest in me. Since meeting this fantastic man, I have gotten quite used to his consistent flattery and I love it! I am so glad each of you encouraged the same thing, COMMUNICATION. Thank you so very much!

That's very good to hear, [not-so-]stoopidmonkey. We hope you'll stop in periodically to share your experiences and request support where needed. People in your position can offer us all a lot of great insight into what works and doesn't when it comes to introducing a partner to this stuff.

My very best to you both!
~Cottontail
 
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