Neurodivergent traits?

IDKaLittle

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Last night I caught myself absent-mindedly rocking while I was sitting on the couch in thought while reading something on the iPad. I’d never noticed this behavior before. It’ll be interesting to see if I notice it again - I wonder how long I’ve done it and not noticed?

Isn’t this a trait of ASD or another spectrum disorder?

other boxes I’ve ticked:
social awkwardness
i’m often misunderstood
i don’t read between the lines
i struggle to read social cues
i struggle in conversations - I tend to dominate and talk at people, I ramble on and I repeat myself
I find small talk straining
i don’t get it - normal things people do, such as sports, fashion, celebrities, the newest hot meme, well, most things I guess.
i obsess with details, in an OCD sort of way
i overthink everything
I have difficulty making eye contact - I’m usually watching people’s mouth when they’re talking, it helps me connect with what they’re saying

What are some others you all have noticed in yourselves?
 
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Jorelaxed

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Maybe Autism, cause i do the chair rocking too and fidget quite a bit.
 

lilbabyjooce

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I have diagnosed OCD which is already considered a neurodivergency.
I have very closely related family members who have been diagnosed autistic or ADHD. Besides multiple anxiety disorders and depression, I have also been diagnosed with a mood disorder which is a common mistake for autistic women—many autistic women get diagnosed with mood disorders or BPD or written off as only being anxious/depressed because there is far less research and far more bias in diagnosing women with autism than men.
My older sister, after years of working towards this and working with specialists, just got her autism diagnosis. I have not attempted to see if maybe I was wrongfully diagnosed and maybe am just autistic for personal reasons as well as the fact that it takes so much time and energy. But especially with my sister getting her diagnosis, I have had the things I do and think that could indicate having autism laid out for me by her before.
OCD is a common comorbidity with autism.
Inability to maintain eye contact, inability to engage in small talk and overall social awkwardness, lots of behavioral mimicry (especially when I was young, I’d observe how other people spoke or what other people did, including real and fake people on TV, and copy that).
Interests that go beyond a normal interest and into hyperfixation. Most of my interests have been the same since childhood and I feel very, very strongly to them.
Mood swings, very strong emotions and reactions, an inability to process change easily
Stimming, fidgeting, repeating words or sounds, lots of talking to myself so I can understand what’s going on. A hard time concentrating and an even harder time regaining concentration.
Sensory issues, especially smell and sound. I also really love sensory objects and specific fabrics, colors, feelings. I also have always had a hard time telling when I need to use the bathroom until it’s urgent. When I was little I was very afraid of the loud noise toilets would make. So maybe that also plays a role in my ABDLism as well.
Overthinking, trying to rationalize and organize every thought and every action and every interaction, and I plan out everything. Even when deciding on something as trivial as starting a new show, me wanting to start it isn’t enough. I have to lay out all my options and all the reasons why I would watch and analyze it. Same with choosing what diapers I’ll buy when I restock—trivial stuff that doesn’t really need to be thought that thoroughly through. And as emotional as I am I also try very hard to stick to reason and have a clear thought process on everything I choose to do.
A general disconnect from those around me. I don’t understand stuff like pop culture and celebrities either. I don’t understand a lot of social etiquette (though I have learned to mask exceptionally well, I think).
Extremely routine oriented, extremely detail oriented, basically eat the same thing, take the same walk every day, etc
Drawn to the arts and music, and “alt” culture in general.
There’s more to it, too, and ultimately some of these things are far more general than others. I’m not claiming I am autistic and don’t have a plan on trying to unpack the possibility very soon, but the possibility is very high. Especially as a woman I think people just assume I’m shy and a lil weird, but it wouldn’t surprise me if something deeper was going on. Interesting thread! Thanks for sharing
 
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Wondercrinkee

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I had a touch of OCD when younger, but I shook it out of me by just forcing myself to get out of the behavior.

Before I'd do my art, I had to have everything perfect. All my pencils and art stuff needed at the moment all lined up and placed where they belonged. My paper had to be (Bristol valium, or parchment, rather pricey) perfect. Not warps, no flaws, no microscopic hairs from manufacturing the paper itself as I'd go through my "canvases" to pick the perfect one for what I had in store.
Then, I had to have the perfect French Roast Italian-brand coffee. It was excellent, freshly roasted beans. God, if I can only recall the name of it. Something like, "French Roast Italian Supremo Coffee". It came in a white standard coffee bean bag with green white and red stripes down the middle. Then the coffee had to be at the perfect temperature and taste.

I had to use a perfectly clean cloth to rest my hand as I'd draw so I wouldn't warp the parchment or paper. All art tools had to be neat, new, and clean. All things had to be cubed straight and aligned if they were square, and if they were not, then placed on my drafting table perfectly in being equally adjacent to other items needed.

My subject had to also be perfect.

By the time I was done, starting at 7 a.m., it may have got to be 10:00 a.m., and honestly? I was too tired to do a damn thing! I was spent!

It reminds me of Monty Python's flick, no, Saturday Night live's (oops! I hate Oopsies!) "The Anal retentive Chef", for I did this.

I also had other afflictions when very young, up till around 20 years old. I hated the feel of terry cloth towels, the dryness, and the horror of it all! I needed lotion ALL THE TIME to replenish my skin (which wasn't dry) from the touch of towels when having to use them. It was awful! My mother had to help me because I cried when around 6 or 7, saying I couldn't touch the towels, it hurt my skin! (It did in SUPERSENSITIVITY).

I'm now totally able to deal with towels, both paper, and terry. I also am far better with my incessant organizing and placing everything perfectly together. I don't even bother other people's items to straighten them when on the conveyer belt when at the checkout stand. lol. (kidding. I did it ONCE! Just ONCE!).
 
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OnePiece

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IDKaLittle said:
other boxes I’ve ticked:
social awkwardness
i’m often misunderstood
i don’t read between the lines
i struggle to read social cues
i struggle in conversations - I tend to dominate and talk at people, I ramble on and I repeat myself
I find small talk straining
i don’t get it - normal things people do, such as sports, fashion, celebrities, the newest hot meme, well, most things I guess.
i obsess with details, in an OCD sort of way
i overthink everything
I have difficulty making eye contact - I’m usually watching people’s mouth when they’re talking, it helps me connect with what they’re saying

What are some others you all have noticed in yourselves?
I don't have a diagnosis, but have done some online tests and ends up borderline.
I can tick most of the boxes above, but I tend to be quite quiet in conversations except in topics of high interest.
I have learnt to read between the lines and understand and use irony. I haven't fully learnt when NOT to be ironic, yet...

I also recognize when lilbabyjooce mentions sensory issues like smell and loud sounds.
I also got an issue with different fabrics in clothing, I was terrible as a kid.
There is also the diaper and underwear bit that have always been lurking as long as I can remember.

I'm not the only one in the family with these issues. I recognize lot of the same things from parents and my siblings.
Same also with my wife and kids. None of us has ever fit in with "normal" people, but we've managed alright anyway.
 

IDKaLittle

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Omg I relate to ALL of that! and to some degree, even the one about lining up objects. Only I’ve noticed I don’t do it intentionally - what I have noticed is that on my coffee table, the remote, phone, iPad, pack of cigs, lighter, ashtray (rectangular) are all aligned with each other at the exact same angle, done with no intent. But I prefer things very orderly. If something is chaotic, I have to un-chaos it (whatever it is) before I can proceed.

Some others I’ve thought of since the OP:

A TV (specifically) too loud is fingernails-on-chalkboard levels of intensity. And sometimes it only needs to go down like 6db (I do audio work, that’s not much) to make that edge go away completely.

A general noise floor that’s too loud slowly builds anxiety and by the time I realize that I need to roll up my car window in traffic, it’s on par with the TV reaction.

I struggle to process information until I can restructure it for myself

I focus on the ground in front of me when I’m walking - I’m constantly picking up screws in parking lots (automotive career) so they don’t get in a tire - I just seem to notice them all the time.

I say things backwards - like I need to communicate the ‘why’ in addition to the ‘what’ and the why goes first. Or last. Whatever it is, it’s backwards. Like I think back on things I say and wonder ‘why did I say it in that order?’ While the other person is looking at me like I have two heads. A really super simple example, might be, “Where do you want to eat? I’m hungry.”

Or I ask the wrong question because my brain is working backwards. A perfect example is if my roommate is heading out the door and I think he’s going for takeout. I’ll ask ”Where are you going?” Instead of “Are you getting food?” My brain says: I need to determine if he’s going for takeout, and in order to do that, I need to know his destination so I can answer the question: does his destination = food? It takes the long route! He turns around and looks at me like I have two heads and I realize and say “are ya gettin food?”

i overexplain things - my entire thought process comes out before a statement. Two heads.

Red and yellow together make me feel really, really uncomfortable. I’ve mostly gotten used to it by now.

Grab me in deep water and I freak the fuck out! I mean OMFG freak the fuck out! Pure, Unrestrained. Panic. And no reason for it either, like it has no basis in trauma or anything, been like that my entire life, I strongly feel like it‘s a sensory trigger thing. Apparently I have an interesting relationship with water.

When I get excited it’s over the top - I find that I have to restrain myself to keep from looking like I have two heads again.

I too never fit in with normal people, always the outcasts and weirdos. My entire life I’ve clicked with people 10 years younger than me.

I struggle with sympathy and feel generally disconnected as well.

I just can’t process when things aren’t going my way

And the online ASD tests, I usually tick about 80% or 90% of the boxes.

I too have learned to appear normal - over time I’ve picked up on what common idioms mean. I do body mimicry all the time. I ask someone about their day because I’m supposed to, not because I want to. So how about this weather? I heard it’s warming up this week! Did I really just say that? I’ve learned how to respond to what someone’s saying in a manner that’s expected - oh that was surprising, I’m supposed to do this now. I struggle with emotion regulation. They affect me in ways that I have to sometimes work to temper (I think just like anyone else) but where it’s unique to me is more like, what emotion am I supposed to portray in response to whatever is happening? I get it wrong sometimes and that’s super awkward.

But I’m trying to keep in mind, many of these traits can also explained by many other factors such as depression, low self esteem, cognitive, psychological, emotional, environmental factors, blah blah yeah I better get evaluated, I feel like it would explain so much.

No wonder I’m back in diapers!

EDIT: I almost forgot the best one: Everything Sheldon Cooper says makes perfect sense! I’m always like, “Well, yeah, how else would you see it?”

Thank you, this has been very therapeutic 🤗
 
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