KittyWinter said:
Messing XD
So, poop grosses me out and I really don't like it, and I've always felt the same way about messing which is "nononono I hate that I cant do that". I've been on a hiatus from being little, but I want to get back into everything and to be looked after by a caregiver again.
And that's the thing, I want to try and go 24/7 but if I'm with a caregiver for a few days I kind of dont wanna have to get changed to poop. When I wet a diaper and somebody changes me I always feel smaller and embarrased which is great for little space. But I kind of think if I did mess, and somebody changes me, I'd get extremely embarrased and it might make me get into a REALLY strong little headspace which is kind of what I really really really want to get into again.
I don't really know what to do, I have some abdl friends but I kinda feel too embarrased to talk about this kinda thing with them 😅
So, I think this is just one of those things that you have to try, because no one else telling you what the experience is like can explain or express what
your experience will be like. Worst case scenario, you find that it's really not your thing. There are lots of ABs/DLs, even some that are 24/7, that will not mess in their diapers.
I've been wearing diapers a long time, so I can't really remember if I was nervous or not the first time. I know I enjoyed it when I did it though, and I've kept doing it, so it couldn't have been all that bad! My "little" person is somewhere between 3.5-4, so I don't think there's much more to put me into headspace than messing my diaper, and feeling the bulge pressed up against the back of the diaper, running my hand over my backside, and wishing/fantasizing that maybe a caregiver was doing a diaper check on me and discovering what I had done before changing me!
I think you need to think about what it is that really bothers you about it, and then see if there are workarounds to make it possible for you. Is it the smell? Smell is inevitable, regardless of what vessel you're pooping in. If you're a meat eater, it's going to have an odor to it. One thing I learned when I had kids is that strictly breast/bottle fed infant poop has little to no odor. But the minute they start eating solids -especially meat - watch out! It becomes much more pungent. But to try to limit that, you could use room deodorizer in advance, light a candle, or open a window. If your little persona is an older toddler, maybe they poop in a diaper only in the bathroom.
Is cleanup the issue? If you're cleaning up yourself, definitely don't sit in it after you go, at least not for the first few times you're changing. That will spread the mess and make it far worse. Decide what the easiest way to clean yourself is -laying down on a towel or changing mat, or standing up. Having your supplies handy, including a diaper disposal bag, is also a necessity. I was bad at it at first, but now I'm a pro. If my poop is solid, 2-4 Huggies baby wipes will have me fresh and clean again (if you're going to make pooping in a diaper a regular thing, shaving, or at least trimming, your diaper area, definitely helps). If I'm having a flare of IBS, it's a bit more messy, but then hey, real toddlers and preschoolers who wear diapers and pullups don't always have firm poops either, right? If it's still really bothering you, nothing says you can't wear gloves to change yourself. That's what they do at daycare centers, after all.
Before you dispose of the diaper, try to get as many of the solid contents out into the toilet before firming wrapping up the diaper. It will cut way back on smells when you dispose of it, trust me.
Now, if you're lucky enough to have a caregiver looking after you, first and foremost, make sure they're okay with you actually pooping in your diaper. Not all of them are and you don't want to make for an awkward situation. Is someone changing your messy diaper going to be embarrassing? Probably, especially the first time. But maybe you can use that as part of your "little" persona. Lots of 3+ year olds tend to get embarrassed about it while being changed. They'll look away and not make eye contact from the moment the diaper is opened up until a clean diaper is ready to be put on. They may cry and/or whine, as much for being taken away from what they were doing for a change that's going to take several minutes, as to the fact that they've been discovered with this mess in their pants. If I personally had a caregiver looking after me, I'd
totally play that angle.
