Need help

TheDude123

Est. Contributor
Messages
53
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
So about 6 years ago I came out to my wife as a DL, and she was OK with it. Long story short, Well I kinda went alittle over board with using, OK I guess some would say alot lol. Needless to say she wasn't on board any longer. So I need help on how to bring it up to her. Thank you all in advance.
 
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: Diprs2, ItsTimmyTime, warmfeeling and 2 others
Tacoma83 said:
So about 6 years ago I came out to my wife as a DL, and she was OK with it. Long story short, Well I kinda went alittle over board with using, OK I guess some would say alot lol. Needless to say she wasn't on board any longer. So I need help on how to bring it up to her. Thank you all in advance.
Well how much is a lot?
Consumed to the point of ignoring her needs? Can't go anywhere or do anything without wearing a diaper?
She's your wife and you should know her better than anyone. Ask her why the sudden 180, unless you already know why...which I'm guessing you do because I'm sure there were subtle hints along the way.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lilbabyjooce, Diprs2, ItsTimmyTime and 3 others
Maybe you need to find some middle ground: times when you can wear and times when you don't. You probably do need to have a discussion over this. Always stay calm and respectful of your spouse. Conversation is probably key.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lilbabyjooce, Diprs2, ItsTimmyTime and 2 others
Nowididit said:
Well how much is a lot?
Consumed to the point of ignoring her needs? Can't go anywhere or do anything without wearing a diaper?
She's your wife and you should know her better than anyone. Ask her why the sudden 180, unless you already know why...which I'm guessing you do because I'm sure there were subtle hints along the way.
Yes to all
 
dogboy said:
Maybe you need to find some middle ground: times when you can wear and times when you don't. You probably do need to have a discussion over this. Always stay calm and respectful of your spouse. Conversation is probably key.
Correct I know but I just can't bring my self to talk about it
 
Bring it up to her? Does she know? I am a tiny bit confused. But I'm sure she will work things out if you are level-headed and maybe find out what her fun ideas are; who knows? Romance has a potential forever possibility with creativity and spicing things up.

But I don't know the personality factors involved. We all know, outside of diaper wearing, what is cool to do with our other halves and what isn't. (I'm a whole, but I was there once).
What we can get away with, and what we can't. Maybe it's time for a gentle easy fun evening of something that helps make it easier to talk about. I personally would take them camping. Perfect excuse! "Boy, it's cold out there! I ain't runnin' out freezin' my..hey! I have the solution! And it will be fun and goofy to do! I'll be back in a second..Just wait..." lol. Then, "Here. Let's play! let's spice things up!" and make sure you have really good gourmet snacks hidden away, too. Other things she really likes, if needed. Make it fun.

But it depends on the personality factors.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Diprs2 and ItsTimmyTime
Tacoma83 said:
Yes to all
OK so you have identified the issue, now it's up to you to make it right. You know the problem and you probably know the solution, you just have to be willing to compromise and put those solutions forth.
Also diapers should never come before family, friends, work and especiallyyour wife. You gotta learn to balance it.
Looks like you're gonna be diaperless until this blows over, perfect time to patch things up and get back in her good graces again.
Good luck.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lyric, lilbabyjooce, Diprs2 and 2 others
Tacoma83 said:
Correct I know but I just can't bring my self to talk about it
Well it's better to talk about it in your home than in a lawyers office or a courtroom.
Not saying separation or divorce are on the table, I'm just giving you scenario to think about.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Diprs2
Nowididit said:
Well it's better to talk about it in your home than in a lawyers office or a courtroom.
Not saying separation or divorce are on the table, I'm just giving you scenario to think about.
I've thought about it. Can't live without her
 
Nowididit said:
OK so you have identified the issue, now it's up to you to make it right. You know the problem and you probably know the solution, you just have to be willing to compromise and put those solutions forth.
Also diapers should never come before family, friends, work and especiallyyour wife. You gotta learn to balance it.
Looks like you're gonna be diaperless until this blows over, perfect time to patch things up and get back in her good graces again.
Good luck.
Thank you that is great advice
 
Wondercrinkee said:
Bring it up to her? Does she know? I am a tiny bit confused. But I'm sure she will work things out if you are level-headed and maybe find out what her fun ideas are; who knows? Romance has a potential forever possibility with creativity and spicing things up.

But I don't know the personality factors involved. We all know, outside of diaper wearing, what is cool to do with our other halves and what isn't. (I'm a whole, but I was there once).
What we can get away with, and what we can't. Maybe it's time for a gentle easy fun evening of something that helps make it easier to talk about. I personally would take them camping. Perfect excuse! "Boy, it's cold out there! I ain't runnin' out freezin' my..hey! I have the solution! And it will be fun and goofy to do! I'll be back in a second..Just wait..." lol. Then, "Here. Let's play! let's spice things up!" and make sure you have really good gourmet snacks hidden away, too. Other things she really likes, if needed. Make it fun.

But it depends on the personality factors.
Yes she knows. Love the idea ty
 
Nowididit said:
OK so you have identified the issue, now it's up to you to make it right. You know the problem and you probably know the solution, you just have to be willing to compromise and put those solutions forth.
Also diapers should never come before family, friends, work and especiallyyour wife. You gotta learn to balance it.
Looks like you're gonna be diaperless until this blows over, perfect time to patch things up and get back in her good graces again.
Good luck.
I feel like she wants a man, and by me wanting to wear diapers it makes her see me as a baby. Which I don't think I am at all.
 
  • Thinking
  • Like
Reactions: Diprs2 and Woncrinklz
My wife and I had that discussion especially since I was her kidney dialysis partner, running the machine. I told her I would always be the man she married, especially when she needed that. It worked out well for us.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Diprs2 and ItsTimmyTime
Tacoma83 said:
I feel like she wants a man, and by me wanting to wear diapers it makes her see me as a baby. Which I don't think I am at all.
Are you doing baby things while wearing diapers?
Wearing diapers hardly makes one less of a man. There's gotta be some things you're doing to give her that perception.
Sit down and talk to her. It's your best bet. When you say you can't live without her she needs to understand that but you also need to help her understand that the "diaper thing" isn't going to go away, it will always be with you.

Have you showed her this site?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Diprs2 and ItsTimmyTime
I talked to her about it. It felt like a good talk. I told her that I really over did it and took it to far. I'm not good at explaining my feeling. She wants to know why I like to wear diapers. Is it bc I'm lazy? I said no. I said I feel like something happened in my child hood, like I remember seeing other kids wet them selves or have accidents at night and I remember thinking I really don't want that to happen to me. And then some how the diapers came to mind. Any help?? Please and ty
 
  • Like
Reactions: Diprs2 and ItsTimmyTime
Tacoma83 said:
I talked to her about it. It felt like a good talk. I told her that I really over did it and took it to far. I'm not good at explaining my feeling. She wants to know why I like to wear diapers. Is it bc I'm lazy? I said no. I said I feel like something happened in my child hood, like I remember seeing other kids wet them selves or have accidents at night and I remember thinking I really don't want that to happen to me. And then some how the diapers came to mind. Any help?? Please and ty
I think when trying to explain "why" to a nilla partner it's a good idea to stick to reasons why you like it such as....

It's soothing/calming/de-stresses you
It's a comfort thing, it makes you feel safe

My vanilla wife loves getting comfortable and changed into her PJ's at the end of a long day, hard day at work. I likened that to my feelings about being padded. She understood those feelings.

People have many ways to get that release, to de-stresses. We de-stresses by wearing nappies and being little. Everything in moderation. Take your wifes needs into consideration and tell her you realise you've overindulged and been a little selfish.

If you indulge less, when that next time rolls around it'll feel all that more special to indulge once again.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: lilbabyjooce, ozbub and Diprs2
Hey dude, kudos for talking to her, I know how tough that can be. Whenever I have that talk, which actually has been many times, it’s always hard to get it started. My partner fully accepts my little side, and has no problem with me indulging it, but even after years, she’s still kinda indifferent to it which still leaves me sort of wondering. She loves me and we’re solid, but her involvement is minimal at best. Like others have said, you just need to find where the balance lies. She deserves you her man, and you should always be there to support and love her, but equally, she should acknowledge the whole you. I just caution you to be respectful of her, don’t be selfish with your ‘needs’ and continue talking.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Diprs2 and ItsTimmyTime
Tacoma83 said:
I talked to her about it. It felt like a good talk. I told her that I really over did it and took it to far. I'm not good at explaining my feeling. She wants to know why I like to wear diapers. Is it bc I'm lazy? I said no. I said I feel like something happened in my child hood, like I remember seeing other kids wet them selves or have accidents at night and I remember thinking I really don't want that to happen to me. And then some how the diapers came to mind. Any help?? Please and ty
Yes, something did happen in your childhood. It's called imprinting. A few people have observed the sometimes unusual results of this process for over a thousand years now. Imprinting appears to be responsible for most of the normal, lifelong social and sexual desires people have that they once believed were instinctive due to evolution; desires such as the strong attraction to the opposite sex that many people have. Experiments over the last 70 years with birds, reptiles, and mammals like us, have shown that the process occurs early in a creature's life, and produces the usual, expected results along with the occasional, formerly unexplainable, unexpected results. Actually, the "unexplainable' results were first explained as psychological defects, and later, for some people, as genetic defects. Today it seems most people prefer the 'psychological defect' explanation because they can't imagine how our genes could possibly have evolved to promote homosexuality or diaper love as reasonable alternatives to our normal, heterosexual, mating tendencies. In reality, what evolved was the imprinting process; a process that works to match us up to the environment we were born into. Makes sense to me, but most people just don't see it.

If you look up research on imprinting, hoping to find a solid explanation for your diaper fetish, you will be disappointed. There are some old, but still interesting, videos about baby birds that were deliberately imprinted to identify inanimate objects as their mothers, but most people won't see the connection. If you want to find a sexual example, look up "falcon breeding" and click on 'images', scroll around for a while until you see a modern picture of a falcon copulating with a person's head. Those pictures really surprised me. This is the way ancient falcon breeders collected sperm, but I thought by now we would have come up with more modern methods to do that. Apparently we didn't.

For some reason most people are not sexually attracted to close family members. For the longest time people believed we had evolved a strong tendency to avoid close relatives as suitable mates because of the significant chance that such unions will produce birth defects. More resent research (+- 50 years ago) shows that what we emotionally avoid is not the genetic relationships but who was present in our early, formative years. More often than not that will be our close relatives. But when we are raised apart from close family, we develop a tendency to avoid sexual relations with the people we grew up with. Siblings have been known to grow deeply, sexually in love with each other as adults, if they didn't grow up together.

Good luck explaining this to your wife! There actually is a sound, logical explanation for this, but few people, even here, can accept it.
 
Can I ask you some seemingly unrelated questions?

How often have you sent her flowers in the past year? A card? Taken her somewhere she wants to go for a weekend?

When was the last time you bought her something you knew she wanted? Taken the afternoon off to be with her?

Women need to be shown they are special, and they need continual demonstrations. That's something many ABs and DLs seem to find problematic.

Perhaps all these things ought to preface your discussion about diapers, which sounds rather self-absorbed in comparison. Just a thought.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: lilbabyjooce and ItsTimmyTime
sbmccue said:
Can I ask you some seemingly unrelated questions?

How often have you sent her flowers in the past year? A card? Taken her somewhere she wants to go for a weekend?

When was the last time you bought her something you knew she wanted? Taken the afternoon off to be with her?

Women need to be shown they are special, and they need continual demonstrations. That's something many ABs and DLs seem to find problematic.

Perhaps all these things ought to preface your discussion about diapers, which sounds rather self-absorbed in comparison. Just a thought.
It's the little things that count .
You hit the nail on the head.
Little notes how much I love you.
Just the little things. A surprise dinner .
 
Back
Top