Where does *BDLism come from?
We don't know. Nobody does.
Unfortunately, it's true. Nobody has found a link to anything in childhood etc.
Not entirely true - there's a certain amount of anectodal evidence that *B/DL is linked to being pushed (either deliberately or accidentally) to grow up too fast at an early developmental stage, resulting in a latent desire for the time that you "skipped over". Where a
pure paraphilia like DL derives from, no-one is quite sure. Since *B/DL is relatively rare, and doesn't generally stop a person functioning in society, it hasn't been extensively studied.
Hey jaytay, welcome to ADISC! I Hope you enjoy yourself here, even if you can't find any hard and fast answers. I will say, given that you list yourself as Incontinent, that you wouldn't be the first IC here who came to fall in love with nappies - it's entirely possible that it's a mechanism to help you cope with what, unfortunately, is often regarded by the narrow-minded as a shameful disability. You can either be ashamed that you have to wear them, or embrace them - there doesn't seem to be much middle ground, and the former is definitely not healthy, psychologically speaking. Try the IC forum - you may find some help there.
I'll echo the others responders - what are your interests outside of nappies?