My source is getting too familiar.

Mouse

Est. Contributor
Messages
45
Role
Diaper Lover
This is mostly just a post to hopefully alleviate some of my anxiety about today's interaction.

So I noticed that I was low on diapers today so I made a trip into the city to pick up some more. I always buy from a small elder care shop just outside down town, and have been doing so on a not too regular basis for a few years now. It seems to be owned by one nice middle aged woman and I have rarely seen anyone else occupying the store.
On my walk there I was becoming slightly anxious, as is usual of me. But I touched it out and entered the store.
Inside was just her and a delivery man chatting. The stores shelves were rearranged and I was a little bit lost. She saw this and said.
"Hi. You're a medium right?"
My heart jumped at that. I'd never disclosed that the diapers were for me. Any conversation we had was just about the weather. I told her I was and she went and got them for me. She also told me she would be changing brands (currently Lille Supreme Fit) I was too embarrassed to ask what the change would be or even if she would continue stocking in my size.
I left the store have since been teasing out economical online sources as now I feel like there's no anonymity. I'm now the 'Medium Size Diaper Guy's.
What do you guys think? Is anonymity important for your shopping or have you learned to accept it. I know I shouldn't be as anxious as I am but mental health is a bitch.

Also if anyone knows of a place to buy diapers with cheap international shipping (to Republic of Ireland specifically) that would be great.

Thanks for the input and stay padded
 

abdlexplorer

Est. Contributor
Messages
49
Role
Diaper Lover, Sissy, Little, Other
I agree in general that anonymity is very important; I don't make purchases of anything that might raise questions from any stores that I more routinely show at for this reason. But since you're shopping at a supply store of that nature, I really don't think you have anything to be concerned about. Anyone working in that kind of industry would understand how important discretion would be to many of their clients. I'm sure she wasn't trying to be intrusive into your privacy, but rather was simply trying to be helpful.

Personally, I think continuing to shop at that store is a great way for you to face your anxiety in a controlled way, with a circumstance where really, I think the cause of the anxiety is all you. It's harder in situations where anyone would be stressed, and personal anxiety is compounding the problem. Since the circumstances you're describing sound; to me anyways, like a relatively safe-space purchase; again she probably understands the desire for discretion from her clients, this anxiety is just you, and a great way to help yourself learn to cope with it.
 

Paxe

Est. Contributor
Messages
427
Role
Diaper Lover
I'd say the risk is very low and if she stocks nappies you like, keep buying there. Don't be afraid to interact with her; unless she is very unprofessional she won't say anything about you or your nappy-buying to anyone else and may have realised that it was inappropriate to say what she said in front of the delivery driver. I used to enjoy chatting about nappies to the lady in the shop I used here in London, giving them feedback and suggestions etc, before I started buying online.

The difficult thing we have here in the UK is the VAT exemption form, which made / makes buying in-store harder if you don't have a medical need for the products. For those lucky people outside of the UK who aren't familiar with this, nappies are normally supplied by the health service in case of need (although not the best brands) so they are not often bought in-store. But when you take them to the checkout, you are asked whether you or the user is VAT exempt due to disability. If you say no, you automatically out yourself as a DL, or if you say yes you have to fill in a form with name and address etc, and sign it, thereby committing tax fraud. So, with that process to go through every time, being served by someone familiar in the shop, who is not scrutinising you to see if you seem to be cheating the system, or trying to hide a secret, is actually quite pleasant!
 

rennecfox

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,281
Role
Babyfur, Diaperfur, Incontinent
People get too paranoid about buying diapers, people in retail don't give a second thought to what you're buying (unless its a friend), remember they don't know what you are doing with it when you leave the place unless you tell them. Moreso at a medical supply store, they realize incontinence effects a wide variety of people and not just babies and senior citizens.
 

Argent

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,776
Role
Diaper Lover, Incontinent
Such a difficult situation :(

I would err on the side of good customer service and for the lady in the store diapers are just a perfectly normal item (which in a way is ideal) rather than being worried you are identifiable.

The flip side though is “she is changing brands” is really worrying and possibly shows a complete lack of understanding what she is selling.

If it was a corner store and they were swapping from one brand of pasturised cows milk to another you may barely raise an eyebrow but if they said we are changing brands to a blend of half unpasteurised goats milk half soy you might be wondering where you will buy your milk from next week.

If I was you I would be scouting out alternative places now to buy your diapers as the worst thing would be turning up next time to find in their familiarity they think they can sell you some cheaper garbage a shrinkflation medical salesperson has conned them into carrying.

The onus is on the business to understand your requirements, would have been a very different story had the store provided you a couple of free samples of the product they were considering changing too and asked if you could give them feedback as simple as “yes I would buy these if they replaced Lille” or “no they were not suitable.”
 

FootiePJ

Est. Contributor
Messages
87
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Carer
This is mostly just a post to hopefully alleviate some of my anxiety about today's interaction.

So I noticed that I was low on diapers today so I made a trip into the city to pick up some more. I always buy from a small elder care shop just outside down town, and have been doing so on a not too regular basis for a few years now. It seems to be owned by one nice middle aged woman and I have rarely seen anyone else occupying the store.
On my walk there I was becoming slightly anxious, as is usual of me. But I touched it out and entered the store.
Inside was just her and a delivery man chatting. The stores shelves were rearranged and I was a little bit lost. She saw this and said.
"Hi. You're a medium right?"
My heart jumped at that. I'd never disclosed that the diapers were for me. Any conversation we had was just about the weather. I told her I was and she went and got them for me. She also told me she would be changing brands (currently Lille Supreme Fit) I was too embarrassed to ask what the change would be or even if she would continue stocking in my size.
I left the store have since been teasing out economical online sources as now I feel like there's no anonymity. I'm now the 'Medium Size Diaper Guy's.
What do you guys think? Is anonymity important for your shopping or have you learned to accept it. I know I shouldn't be as anxious as I am but mental health is a bitch.

Also if anyone knows of a place to buy diapers with cheap international shipping (to Republic of Ireland specifically) that would be great.

Thanks for the input and stay padded
Have you tried ordering from Amazon? They should offer reasonably priced shipping to your location. I also like anonymity when ordering my baby items. I wish I could get my diapers delivered to an Amazon locker, but the box is too big to fit in the locker. I end up getting my monthly supply delivered to a post office box; I have been doing this for the last 8 years now. The postal workers at my location have gotten to know me, and have made similar comments to me. I don't understand why they would even ask me those questions, considering I use baby diapers.
 

Slomo

Est. Contributor
Messages
7,291
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I don't believe it's that big of a deal. They sell an every day typical product, and you are a regular. That's not a big deal. The anxiety and fear is all in your head. Look at the shop owner, she isn't nervous in the least, and she's the dealer/seller of those diapers.
 

Trevor

Est. Contributor
Messages
8,732
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Babyfur
I generally expect to be anonymous in almost all aspects of retail, so the situation you describe would have startled me a bit as well. However, as you note, it's a small store and you've been patronizing them for a couple years on an irregular basis. That's enough for people to form impressions and if you're always buying medium diapers, you are indeed the medium diaper guy (or one of them). I think after that momentary shock wore off, I'd realize it's of no consequence and I'd be more concerned about the upcoming product switch.

Of course, if you don't want to have any conversations with your diaper purchases, online buying will get you a better product. I don't think you should let this interaction put you off buying in person if that's how you like to do it.
 

Elenwen

Est. Contributor
Messages
201
Role
Private
As someone said before, it's hard to maintain anonymity in this kind if shops. But the thing is, I doubt she was talking about you, personally — I believe, she referred to the size you usually buy and nothing more. It's just easier to word it the way she did.
When I started picking up my diapers on my own, after a few visits, I got in just about the same situation you described. When I asked my mom, though, she told me what I just told you and that the shop assistant doesn't really know or care about who will be using the products.
But well... For me, having an actual reason for buying diapers, it's a bit easier, that it is for you, I think...
 

RMS401

Est. Contributor
Messages
552
Role
Diaper Lover
Funny, I wrote a diaper-related story very much like this a few years back. Faaaaaar too racy for adisc.org, though. The mods would NOT be happy.

-RMS
 

littlemoosey

Est. Contributor
Messages
585
Age
59
Role
Adult Baby
I think your fine, she was trying to be helpful. She works in medical supply, I am sure discretion is very important to them as well to keep their customer base. Unless you have reason to believe other wise, I would not worry about it. Now to find out if the replacement product is any good, if not move on.
 

BabyTyrant

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,256
Role
Diaper Lover
I really don't worry about anonymity in stores because I have never developed any kind of pattern and usually don't get asked any questions about what I'm buying.

It probably helps though that I never buy Adult Diapers in stores, I strictly buy online for those as online has the best stuff anyways and the companies making/having products made appreciate your business and are unlikely to pass your information off to others; except apparently people have had bad experiences with the new owner of XP Medical (new as in I think maybe 2 or 3 years ago) ; which people said was sending post cards to their houses saying something like "we appreciate you for buying diapers from us" , which is not so good if you are trying to enjoy diapers secretly with people that dont know, or know and dislike it so you try to hide it as best as possible.

I still hate being asked about diapers by my Mom (since I live at home, but I am no FreeLoader, I have been paying bills most of the time ever since I got my mental health in good shape), even though I pay for them and don't involve anybody else, I even try my best to layer up so it's not so obvious; but of course if I wear around my mom and act like it isn't a big deal (because to me it isn't) she has to analyze that my walk is different (because I wear good diapers and do use them, so there ends up being a waddle), even though nobody else has ever said anything to me about my "weird walk" or asked if I'm wearing a diaper.
 

Trevor

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Messages
8,732
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Babyfur
Funny, I wrote a diaper-related story very much like this a few years back. Faaaaaar too racy for adisc.org, though. The mods would NOT be happy.

-RMS
It put me in mind of The Baby Business but that's quite some time ago.
 

Kinkydragon23

Contributor
Messages
12
Role
Diaper Lover, Babyfur, Diaperfur
I had a similar situation happen to me, so I got to school about an hour away from my house and I have noticed there there were more than a few good wills/thrift shops in that area so usually before I go to school I’ll scour the shops for things in my size(I don’t make a lot of money so the occasional good brand I find it amazing) well one of the ones I go to is pretty much only run buy 1 lady who I’ve bought diapers with on quite a few occasions. Well one day I walk in and she obviously knows what I’m looking for cause it’s all I buy and she says “we just got in quite a few, there in the back corner if you just want to skip back there) I was a little shocked but nodded and went to check up what was there. Now this isn’t a very busy place and no one else was really there or writhin earshot so I wasn’t to worried. Anyway I get what I came for check out and I’m on my way but man it was definitely a interesting experience. Also I’ve never said who there for but I have said that I really like the discounts on pretty much brand new stuff usually a pack of 16 of most things is less than 4 bucks.
 

Rob110

Est. Contributor
Messages
962
Role
Incontinent
Do not worry about it, good retailers try to help their customers and try to remember valued repet customers, my supplier knows what I wear for my incontinence and lets me know if supplies are going to be an issue. My local post office knows me on site and brings my 4 cases to the front counter before I even get a chance say hi.
 

Inconinmiss

Est. Contributor
Messages
589
Role
Incontinent
I have always presumed that the proprietors of any brick ant mortar store from which I bought diapers regularly would realize that the diapers that I was buying were for me. I’ve had experiences similar to the one Mouse describes, but I just took it as something to be expected. People who work in stores learn to recognize their regular customers.
 

Tungsten

Est. Contributor
Messages
154
Role
Diaper Lover
She knew they were for you, she sold them to you, and continued to make pleasant small talk. Dude, she's glad you're there buying her products.
 

kingdark

Est. Contributor
Messages
115
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I wouldn't worry too much. There is a thing such as professionalism. She would have to be stupid to risk losing a semi regular customer. Competition is hard enough as it is.

Anyway, if she's changing brands then either ask her to keep a few packages on the side for you. Or something like that.

Verstuurd vanaf mijn SM-G935F met Tapatalk
 

Regularnot

Est. Contributor
Messages
46
Role
Diaper Lover
Personally I think this would be great! - since this is a distant essentially anonymous person that you now share this secret with in person, knowing they accept you for who you are (and are no doubt glad your who your are - a paying customer!).

But that is just me. If they were just down the road and might talk with friends / family / co-workers....that would be different....
 

ade

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Messages
3,210
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Other
Odds are that she was referring to you as the customer ( your order or purchase) rather than you as the user.
But, if you still want alternatives, Amazon could work for you: http://www.moneyguideireland.com/amazon-offering-free-delivery-to-ireland.html
Tesco Ireland are selling their new junior nappies, if they'll fit you.

Whilst most large retailers will lump the British Isles together as one trade zone-ish, smaller businesses tend to be dependent on their local carriers for whatever shipping costs are passed on to the end customer.
Obviously, retailers on the British mainland who're close to the Irish Sea should have lower shipping costs to Ireland, but it can vary. I was surprised to see that IncontinenceShop, with their depot in Bolton, charge more for delivery to Ireland than for mainland Europe despite the shipping time to Ireland being half that of Europe (and that Bolton is nearer to Dublin than to London, nevermind Europe).
 
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