My mother

stinkape

Don’t worry be happy
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So my moms been in hospice for about 3 weeks now and hasn’t had any food or drink in 14 days . She had severe osteoporosis and took a tumble and broke her back in a few places , was in constant severe pain and all they could do is keep her drugged up and comfortable .
She’s in Florida and I’m in Texas.
I have chosen not to see her , I’ve watched to many people die .
I have been in a strange mood, it’s a different kind of stress just waiting for the call that she has passed and as each new day breaks I expect it but it’s never came .
I keep trying to remember good times I had with my mom and just can’t remember many. She was a broken woman mentally and suffered from I believe an undiagnosed bipolar disorder.
This is probably one of the reasons I grew up with my love for diapers and to be nurtured. I reckon I never really felt it from my mom growing up .
It’s not really her fault she did the best she could being poor and trying to raise 3 kids, I can’t imagine how desperate she must have felt back then in her mental state .
I can’t remember it but when I was around 2 years old , she was put in a mental hospital temporarily for a nervous breakdown as they called it in the 1960s .
It all matters not anymore, I have been working on making peace with my childhood traumas , by just forgiving my folks . It was a different time back then and through it all I did survive and learned a much better way to raise my children.

Reflection reality and future has put me at odds , thinking of things I haven’t done and things I want to do
We think perhaps tomorrow and then tomorrow turns into the next . We look back and we have lost track of all those tomorrow’s ,our tomorrow’s never last .
 
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I pray for you and your mother during her last moments on earth. And for your peace. Hugs
 
thank you for sharing.....was a good read, as i'll be coming up on that within the next few years.....my mom is undiagnosed as well. <3
 
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The day to day is
 
Hahaurfnuuy said:
thank you for sharing.....was a good read, as i'll be coming up on that within the next few years.....my mom is undiagnosed as well. <3
The day to day is what sucks , I know she will die and that’s really the best thing for her at this point . I mean she’s 81 and has lived a full life , now she just lays in her bed and sleeps due to the morafene they give her, the last amount of movement causes her to cry out in pain .
 
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We are going thru this right now with my mother in law.. she has been in hospice care for about a week now.. I know you will find peace as the time comes for her to pass, my mom is on the short list also at 92. and as child of the 50's and 60's i understand
 
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chamberpot said:
We are going thru this right now with my mother in law.. she has been in hospice care for about a week now.. I know you will find peace as the time comes for her to pass, my mom is on the short list also at 92. and as child of the 50's and 60's i understand
I was born the last of 3 children , two older sisters, and when looking through all of the old family photos it really kinda showed , most pictures was of my two sisters . the 1st born had the most and then the 2nd.

I believe I was pretty much an ADHD child with some other problems mixed in , my dad was the breadwinner and mom took care if us 3 kids , in her mental state I just don’t think she ever could handle or understand me like my 2 sisters . Back in the late sixties and early seventies children with my condition ,whatever it was ,were just considered as unruly and misbehaved. So I just got in trouble a lot which meant a lot of whoppings or other punishments . That’s when my ABDL side developed . Fantasizing about diapers or being a baby is the way I calmed myself down after a punishment.
My whole life I felt that I was never good enough for anyone in my immediate family. My family ties have always been very thin and after my mother is gone will more than likely be about non existent.

Thank you all for just letting me vent here it helps to just get your problems out sometimes .
 
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my mother was bed ridden for the last few months of her life. she lived 250 miles away from here and I couldnt get there with work commitments and also my own health problems.
but shes gone now and yesterday we sold her house. I'm struggling a bit here now as I type this.
just suffice to say I felt the pain then, and I'm feeling it again now.
be strong. you will need to be.
 
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Still got my mum 76 and still going but lost my Dad 19 years ago to Prostrate cancer Feb to august 2004 were terrible to watch him slowly go down hill , I was out the room trying to phone my 3 brothers when he finally passed 😢
Little man but big personality
 
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Please...go see your mom. She'd want to see you.
 
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BobbiSueEllen said:
Please...go see your mom. She'd want to see you.
Well said if only to say good bye mum
 
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So very sorry to hear that. I lost my mom earlier this year. Too soon, far too soon. But at least I know she isn't in pain anymore. I hope that can be a comfort to you as well when the time comes.

I agree with the people saying to go see her. I think she'd like that, and to be honest you never know if you'll regret it later when you can't anymore.

EDIT: I'll also add, in case it's something you're grappling with, that whatever you're feeling is fine in this moment. It sounds like you had a rocky relationship with your mom, so now you might be having mixed feelings. That's okay too. You will feel what you will feel and you shouldn't blame yourself for it.
 
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I spoke to her over the phone when she was still conscious.
I live 1200 miles away from where she is so it’s just not so easy just to go see her.
My family will expect me at the funeral which will only be 450 miles away so I will be there for that .
Time from work and finances are the biggest problem ,
I earn a descent living but help my daughter a lot .
My relationship with my sister in Florida isn’t the best either.
 
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stinkape said:
So my moms been in hospice for about 3 weeks now and hasn’t had any food or drink in 14 days . She had severe osteoporosis and took a tumble and broke her back in a few places , was in constant severe pain and all they could do is keep her drugged up and comfortable .
She’s in Florida and I’m in Texas.
I have chosen not to see her , I’ve watched to many people die .
I have been in a strange mood, it’s a different kind of stress just waiting for the call that she has passed and as each new day breaks I expect it but it’s never came .
I keep trying to remember good times I had with my mom and just can’t remember many. She was a broken woman mentally and suffered from I believe an undiagnosed bipolar disorder.
This is probably one of the reasons I grew up with my love for diapers and to be nurtured. I reckon I never really felt it from my mom growing up .
It’s not really her fault she did the best she could being poor and trying to raise 3 kids, I can’t imagine how desperate she must have felt back then in her mental state .
I can’t remember it but when I was around 2 years old , she was put in a mental hospital temporarily for a nervous breakdown as they called it in the 1960s .
It all matters not anymore, I have been working on making peace with my childhood traumas , by just forgiving my folks . It was a different time back then and through it all I did survive and learned a much better way to raise my children.

Reflection reality and future has put me at odds , thinking of things I haven’t done and things I want to do
We think perhaps tomorrow and then tomorrow turns into the next . We look back and we have lost track of all those tomorrow’s ,our tomorrow’s never last .
Hi. I'm sorry for the emotional struggles you've had in life. It must have been very difficult. I don't want you to regret anything moving forward, so may I suggest something? If you can afford it ( beg, borrow, don't steal $), please go visit your mom before she dies. Hearing is the last sense to leave the body. Do it for yourself, knowing you forgave her creates a clearing, forgive her (and yourself, if necessary)…….you have one biological mother, only one. Please open your heart and go……it’ll be a healing. Best!
 
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In 2021 my mother had a botched surgery. For 9 months I made all the medical decisions trying everything to save her life. It looked like she had turned the corner. However it just wasn't ment to be On my birthday 01-18-22 we kids had a conference text discussing where we where heading. After a major stroke while under medical care. It became obvious she was loosing her fight. My mother gave me medical and financial Power of attorney knowing I would carry out her wishes. Knowing she wasnt in there anymore and With the support of my siblings I enacted her living will and ordered all care stopped with the exception of keeping her pain free. She was gone already her body just hadn't figured that out yet. I made a special trip to California and signed over all the legal stuff to insure her wishes where followed. With one last visit on February 1st she new everything had been done that needed doing. I gave her one last smile and kiss and headed out the door and headed back to work. 24 hours later her body let go. All I could do was smile and a little giggle that she had chose the perfect day to be called home. 2-2-22 Groundhog Day. She hung on just long enough to know that my brother had been provided for.

Watching her suffer and knowing it could all have been prevented was hard to take. Thru it all I often wondered if we hung on to her to long. It took 9 months for her to die. After what was supposed to be a simple outpatient procedure.
I understand your pain. I hated seeing my mothers life slowly drained from her. And I wish I didn't haft to see her that last full day of her life. She new how much I loved her and in my case she new her boys where there. I beleave she would rather have just passed quietly without us seeing her that final day. It's a memory that was seared into our mind that we will never forget. I would have preferred to remember happier times. For you choosing not to see your mother now when she is at her worst is understandable and I assure you she to would prefer you to remember happier times. Let her pass quietly and peaceful she knows your with her in your thoughts and prayers.

Ironically sister's chose not to come they did not want to see her like that. Who could blame them.
 
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Mom passed away yesterday evening at 9:00 it was quiet and peaceful , my sister was with her . Now we are just waiting for all the final arrangements . She will be flighted from FL. to MO.
 
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I'm so sorry...You all have my condolences, and peace to your Mom's memory. 🤗
 
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Sorry for your loss. Prayers for comfort.
 
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I'm sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences. God bless.
 
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She a being of light in a place of pure love know this she can visit anytime. It's a feeling you can have or a dream. The love we have for one another we take with us.
I wish you the best lost my dad years ago .My mom can go anytime.
 
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