My Mother keeps on treating me like a little!

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TAOAU

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My Mother often strokes my hair, gives me a kiss on my head and acts like if i'm still her little baby, it is really bugging me but at the same time i like it a lot. How on earth am i going to deal with this, does anybody of you have any experience with a mother who seemingly misses having a baby and sometimes acts like her 18 year old son is one?

On the one side i want to tell her to quit it because it's bugging me a lot as it puts my mind at this currently impracticable interest of mine (might as well say it with the gross word: fetish) but on the other side I just love it when she does it as it does really feel good...

Could she know? I don't know, should i tell? Probably not, ugh this is awful, have you ever told your parents and what might be the best way to do it, or should i completely avoid telling it?
 

LilByte

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It's common as far as I know. My mom doesn't do it much, but my grandmother does to some small extent mainly in speech for example; Will refer to me sometimes still as little boy, and such.
TAOAU said:
Could she know?
Probably unrelated to it even if she did.
TAOAU said:
I don't know, should i tell?
Probably not tho only you can make that call.
You can read many stories of both good and bad outcomes of people telling there parents on these forums.
 

Scaramouche

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My mom called me her "baby" up until she passed away. I didn't like it and told her. I wish she was still around. Appreciate the love while you have it, is my advice.
 

egor

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Hello

I am almost 53 and my mother still calls me her little baby boy.

My brothers still introduce me as there Baby brother.

Being the youngest I an stuck with it and it will never change. Mainly because if they ever admit that I am old then they have to face reality at there age. :laugh:

Besides I can get them all because I still have all of my hair, even if the snow is starting to accumulate.
 

Tnecniw

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This really is a tough call, isn't it? If she does know, and accepts it... You want to know so badly. But it could also only be the common "caring mother" thing. I told my mother (with HORRIBLE results) i almost wish I hadn't cause she hasn't looked at me the same way again. But it is entirety your choice.
 

BigKid25

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My Mother often strokes my hair, gives me a kiss on my head and acts like if i'm still her little baby, it is really bugging me but at the same time i like it a lot. How on earth am i going to deal with this, does anybody of you have any experience with a mother who seemingly misses having a baby and sometimes acts like her 18 year old son is one?

On the one side i want to tell her to quit it because it's bugging me a lot as it puts my mind at this currently impracticable interest of mine (might as well say it with the gross word: fetish) but on the other side I just love it when she does it as it does really feel good...

Could she know? I don't know, should i tell? Probably not, ugh this is awful, have you ever told your parents and what might be the best way to do it, or should i completely avoid telling it?

This may not be extremely common, but often times parents (especially mothers) have a hard time coping with the fact that their baby is now beyond the years where they actually NEED their parents. It's a very empty feeling to go from being the person who is the necessary caretaker to being just the biological parent. It's almost like a reality check and sometimes people don't prepare themselves for that. Especially if you are the only or youngest child.

That's where your mother's coming from. Now from your perspective, I can relate to and understand completely that as a young man, finding the contemporary modern male identity as an adult is troubling when you are still stuck in the nest, and especially at the anxious age of 18. It may seem embarrassing or demeaning/belittling when she does it, but you have to be able to curb your pride a bit, take a step back, and realize that even though you are legally an adult, you will always be her baby sentimentally. I think egor brought up the best example of it.

Now as for your conflicted feelings, that's perfectly natural that you would feel that way. It's an identity conflict that's not just between being an adult and child, but also throwing in the AB/DLism into the mix which complicates things further. What I'm seeing here right off the bat is a lack of self acceptance. Drawing from my experiences, it appears to be a subconscious need to prove yourself as an independent adult (which is what society tells you you're supposed to be at 18) while still indulging in your fantasies (which don't have to inherently be sexual). So you have to sit down with yourself and think long and hard about how you want this thing to continue playing out.

First and foremost: her treating you like a 'baby' doesn't necessarily mean that she knows about your little side. That being said, you don't have to come out to her if you don't want to. Usually I recommend listing off all the benefits and downsides to coming out to your parents, and if you strongly feel that the benefits outweigh the costs, then do it. If not, it's not worth it, and you may regret it. Otherwise, talk to her as an adult. You don't have to set up a meeting (as that may cause anxiety) but just bring it up at an opportune time, like when she does it. Just understand that whatever choice you make when talking to her, don't set up a wall. For example, don't tell her, "Mom I'm an adult now and I absolutely don't want to be treated like a child anymore," because that's not entirely true. I would say something along the lines of "Mom do you know how embarrassing that is when you do that?" You're not saying you absolutely detest it, but she at least understands where you're coming from and it opens up a prompt for discussion since you're asking a question.

Let us know how everything turns out, and good luck in your ventures. Just remember, finding independence as an adult (especially a male one) doesn't mean you have to be averse to affection. So don't block your mom out entirely.
 

TAOAU

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Thanks a lot for the replies, they really make me look into it from another angle. It is indeed a struggle, everytime she does it (quite often these days) it does remind me of my fetish but the weight on my shoulders because of that is probably a lot less than her having to let go her only child. If it also helps her in the process of letting go and, obviously, is meant out of love and is innocent and practically harmless, why would i ruin it?

It might be that it's more now because i've just became 18 two months ago, it is THE age and honestly i do feel like an independent adult and will move on soon enough.

I have decided, for now, that i won't come out to her. First of all, it would probably make it all quite weird and i have no certaincy of how she'd react (i do expect a weird look but acceptance from her though) and besides, it IS something sexual as well which is something i'd actually rather don't want to share and shouldn't share at all! [emoji4]
 

BabyDenise

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I think you made the right decision especially since you said it is a sexual fetish for you. Most (if not all) parents really do not want to know your sexual fetishes.
 

KryanAshford

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My mom treats me like a child still (even though I just moved out)I don't really mind it. I've never had much of a childhood, so it's nice to have a loving source. I'm still very childish and I really rather not change. I think my mom see that,and always tells me not to change no matter what the world throws at me.
 

BlueGrey

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I guess it has always been typical for the youngest in the family to be called the baby. I always hated it, probably in large part because I knew I was a baby inside.
For you to get from 0 to 18 is a whole lifetime. For your parents, it is less than half a lifetime, so they see it as a shorter time than you do. As an older parent, I can say that it is a pretty short time.
Before my mother's death, she & I were searching the old camp trailer for a lost object, and I asked her wouldn't she love the chance to go back in time and go camping with the kids again. She answered emphatically yes! I told her I would sure love to go along.
 

wetatnight

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I think some parents have a hard time when their kids grow up and they miss their babies or younger versions of their kids.
 
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BrandonSleepypuppy

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Not evereyone is lucky enough to have someone this caring and soft to you. THERE IS A DIFFRENCE IN CODDLING
ANNOYINGLY AND BEING FRIENDLY THOUGH. If you are being uncomfortable about it, it looks like that one of you i
misunderstanding each other, so please make it clear, talk to her, and see if it is a tease or is genuine.

If a tease, than you need to strike an agreement. If genuine, looks like you need to tread lightly just in
order not to hurt her feelings although you need to be firm and clear. Look into the other details. I hope
this helps. Sweet dreams
 

caitianx

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My Mom thought of me as her little baby right up to the end.
 
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