My husband is an abdl and I'm not. Plz help me!

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nonabdlhelpplz

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To give everyone some background we've been married over 10 years and have 2 kids of school age. My husband has been up front and honest with me from pretty close to the beginning of our relationship or start of our marriage. Needless to say, he's into women in diapers and would love me to wear them. I tried it a long time ago but felt awkward and thought I looked awful. I didn't feel sexy at all.

That has put a strain on our married life and we've had more downs than ups. From loss of jobs to loss of home etc. I have participated with him as me being mommy and him being the baby. Though I need to work more on my part of the role playing on what to say to him. He likes to be humiliated and talked down to. For whatever reason, I've been more ok with him being the baby than myself. But I want so bad to change that and be the baby for him and enjoy it. We also do animal transformations which I'm more into than the whole abdl thing.

Is there any way for me to get more into being a baby and feeling ok with it? Please any tips to help. Any advice?
 

BlueSky

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The only suggestion I could think of would be to start of very simple, and as you get more comfortable then add something extra in and progress from there. You don't need the diapers to age-play, although by the sounds of it that is quite a big part of it for your partner. Maybe try wearing them again by yourself without age-playing and just get used to wearing them first then move on from there.
I am sure the other members here will have a lot of good advice to add
 

CPDude

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I would make a list of the things you are comfortable with/ want and then have your husband to do the same thing separately. Compare the lists and talk about it openly and look for common ground as a place to start.
 

dogboy

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The thing I've gleaned having been AB/DL most of my life and having been on this site for 8 years is that we who enjoy wearing diapers, tend to be internally predisposed to enjoy such things. I love to wear diapers and feel babyish. I've been that way most of my life. We are a very small percentage of the population however, and for someone with our predisposition to assume someone else would get into this is very presumptuous. My feeling is that if you are uncomfortable wearing a diaper, you shouldn't be made to feel you have to do this.

I agree with CPDude that this needs a lot of communication and a list of what you are comfortable with, and what you are not. As it stands, your husband is one lucky guy that you've gone this far with his wishes. My wife accepts who I am and what I need to do for myself such as wearing diapers, onsies, sippy cups, etc., but she wouldn't be comfortable in much participation. I don't ask her to do that either because I know that's not her thing. I'm happy that she's not bothered by my wearing and doing toddlerish things. She has bought almost all of my baby type things, plushies, sippy cups, onsies, etc., because she loves me.

Marriages are always about compromises. Spouses who have to put up with our particular fetish put up with a lot. Your husband should be happy enough with all that you've done. It's also important for you to be who you are and have your needs met. It's always 50/50.
 

nonabdlhelpplz

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Bluesky Yes, diapers are a big part of it for him. I will definitely try wearing them alone first to get comfortable with them. Thank you for the advice and tips!

CPDude We had a long talk tonight about what he's into and what I'm into so thank you so much for your advice. All of this is helping so far.

dogboy My husband hasn't asked me to do this in years. I'm the one that brought it up to him that I wanted to try it again. We do things that we both enjoy such as animal transformation and him being the baby and me being the mommy even though he would prefer me wearing them and being the baby and we also have regular sex. It's just something that I know he's really into and I want to enjoy it and do it with him. I'm not repulsed by the smell of pee or the acting like a baby. It's just I couldn't get past the look of myself in one. Maybe I would enjoy it more if I just didn't look at myself in one and wore them at first alone to get comfortable. Then if and when I do and can go there with with then the way he looks at me in one will hopefully make me feel sexy and enjoy it with him. At least I'm hoping so.

My husband writes fictional stories about abdl and has for about 20 years. I know if I can get to the point of enjoying wearing diapers and playing baby, it will spice up our love life more and bring us closer. I'm willing to try it.
 

BabyJ316

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Your attitude is really inspirational! It's really wonderful of you to make that sacrifice to spice up your love life. By the way, I'm sure you look just fine in diapers :smile:
 

LittleBelle

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I'm a little/babygirl (not abdl) and I don't wear diapers, I watch disney movies, drink from sippies/bottles, go to parks, like going to the zoo, me and my little friends go to the movies and have popcorn fights, I like being read to by my daddy dom, coloring.. I am a toddler, not a baby, maybe that would be better for you too :)
 

Marting

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Your husband is very lucky to have such an understanding partner. My wife is awesome too, and it means the world to me. I'm sure it does to him too! People like you, who accept us for who we are are inspirational. Thank you!
 

BrandonHoward2016

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To begin, welcome to the forumns. As you stated in the title, I see you are "not" an AB, I am impressed and slightly shocked that you took the times to join the forumns, yet basing that it sounds like that you are not comfortable in the subject matter. I do not judge, but those being your first words, and your last words being "Is there any way for me to get more into being a baby and feeling ok with it" strongly concern me. I will start by mentioning that you must not, and should not be something that it is "not you" no matter what anyone else says. You cannot like onions just because somebody else likes onions....that sort of thing. Your post seems to contradict itself, and the fact you turned to this site to hear it from us may not be a trustworthy move, as evrey single adult baby is different.

Remember, one ABDL (Adult Baby - Diaper Lover) may have different reasons than others to do what they do. For example, I do it because of my past, and to help bring me to a sleepy relaxed state, as your husband tends to take a different turn on things. As stated before, pretending to be something your not feeling comfortable with, (Such as being a mommy even if it makes him happy) is not wise.

If you want to become an ABDL, despite what I mentioned above, than congrats, it's done. There is no test, there is no ranks. It is just inside of you. Start small, experiment, and check with him first. He may be into it, but may not like a "playmate" to his activities, and prefer only your mommy side. Being the fact that you say it is more downs than ups, brings me to our most important rule.

COMMUNICATION. COMMUNICATION. COMMUNICATION.

This should be the top priority in any relationship, and if it is not achieved (And I dont mean babytalk or punishments, I mean REAL talk) Than you may find yourself in a deeper predicament than you have ever seen, or possibly....a lost relationship. I typed all above from my heart and experienced, and am an ABDL, but am not into humiliation like your husband is, so I cannot speak for him.

However, I suggest finding proper research to ageplay, and talking to your husband about these matters, rather than on forumns. Good luck, And I look forward to hearing how it works out.
 

nonabdlhelpplz

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Thank you to everyone that has responded I really appreciate all the advice and tips.

Brandon Babypup: I understand what your saying. I've been more comfortable with my husband being the baby. The whole idea of me being a baby doesn't make me uncomfortable or grossed out. I didn't like the way I looked in diapers. The rest of it in fine with.

However, when my husband and I tried me being the baby years ago, the diapers were plain white and bulky. I think now if I got a cute print and had a fitted one I would feel better. Also the clothes he chose for me was just a plain white long sleeve guys shirt that did nothing for my figure. I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe if we had talked about it more and we looked at clothes and diapers online together and picked out what we both liked, we both would've had a better experience.

My husband does want a playmate. He's said in the past he would rather me be the baby than himself. When I said that there's been more downs than ups I was referring to life in general like loss of jobs and loss of home. There has been a strain from me not being the baby but not nearly as bad as those awful experiences of loss of jobs etc.

I agree communication is key! We talked last night about his likes and my likes. We looked at clothes together and diapers so that he could see what I liked and give me his opinion on if he liked them too. My husband is 100% fine with me discussing this on the forum. He frequents other abdl forums and has talked to people about our love life and such. Thank you so much, I will definitely look into ageplay and doing my research. One of the reasons I came to this forum also was to get more information not just advice.
 

dlissexy

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With all relationships there is some give and take and sometimes you have to hold back some of the things that you want or find another way to release the inner pressure. Maybe you are almost too wiling to go through everything with him and you need to find mutual boundaries?
 

MetalMann

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You can consider a book to read that's pretty good about explaining ABDL. This book is written by someone that was in your very situation.

There's a baby in my bed.
https://www.amazon.com/Theres-baby-bed-Learning-relationship/dp/1610983068

What people have said before here has a lot of good advice. They don't offer from the perspective from the other side of it though. Perhaps this book will give you some good insight from someone in your shoes.
 

Slomo

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I've read that book, and it's loaded with well though out and factual information with lots of medical citations too.

You say you're into animal transformation, have you considered incorporation a baby furry into the mix? This might be a good way to ease into the diaper play with something you're already comfortable with.
 

BabySteve

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I just want to say that I admire your willingness to do this for your husband. I hope he appreciates what you're trying to do.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk
 

sbmccue

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I've read the entire thread twice. Allow me to make a few observations.

First, your husband is a lucky guy. I cannot bring up my infantilism to my wife on pain of divorce! Communication is indeed the key; your husband should keep in mind that not everyone has such a willing and communicative partner. In a word, he should appreciate you more than he apparently does.

Second, AB 'furnishings' have evolved over the past few years. I think you now have some reasonably attractive options with respect to diapers and baby girl clothing. I can remember when adult disposable diapers were still something of an obscure item and adult baby clothing did not exist. I never thought I was particularly fetching in a plain t-shirt and pinned-on Curity diapers, but that was all we had. I'll be interested to know what you and your husband find and decide to try.

Third, while I realize that your husband would enjoy taking care of you, there may be other 'mommy-baby' caregiving scenarios you haven't explored yet. I'm assuming that you've bathed, dressed, fed and changed him. If he likes to be humiliated, have you tried messy diapers? If that doesn't appeal to you, what else would you like to try?

Finally, I've never had an AB playmate, but the thought of having one without having someone there to take care of us doesn't thrill me. I don't enjoy being bored, and being with another adult baby without someone 'minding' us would bore me very quickly. Maybe you could think through scenarios that will allow you to care for him and others that will allow him to care for you.

All of us send you our best wishes. I think every one of us who've responded to this thread would love to know of at least one relationship in which everyone got what they wanted.
 

AWH2

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Let me also add to the list of people who congratulate you for at least considering this. Like other, my wife is not willing to discuss it at all. I must accept this as we all have to be comfortable in our lifestyles. Good luck to you.
 

nonabdlhelpplz

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Your attitude is really inspirational! It's really wonderful of you to make that sacrifice to spice up your love life. By the way, I'm sure you look just fine in diapers :smile:

Thank you so much! 😀

- - - Updated - - -

I'm a little/babygirl (not abdl) and I don't wear diapers, I watch disney movies, drink from sippies/bottles, go to parks, like going to the zoo, me and my little friends go to the movies and have popcorn fights, I like being read to by my daddy dom, coloring.. I am a toddler, not a baby, maybe that would be better for you too :)

While I could see myself being a little and doing everything that you do, sadly he's into the whole diaper thing so this wouldn't be enough for him. Thank you for the ideas though.

- - - Updated - - -

Your husband is very lucky to have such an understanding partner. My wife is awesome too, and it means the world to me. I'm sure it does to him too! People like you, who accept us for who we are are inspirational. Thank you!
.

Thank you and I'm happy for you that your wife is awesome about it too!!

- - - Updated - - -

With all relationships there is some give and take and sometimes you have to hold back some of the things that you want or find another way to release the inner pressure. Maybe you are almost too wiling to go through everything with him and you need to find mutual boundaries?

I understand what your saying. My husband still does the DL part of it alone sometimes. So while we do most things together, he does some things alone as well. Thank you so much for your advice!

- - - Updated - - -

You can consider a book to read that's pretty good about explaining ABDL. This book is written by someone that was in your very situation.

There's a baby in my bed.
https://www.amazon.com/Theres-baby-bed-Learning-relationship/dp/1610983068

What people have said before here has a lot of good advice. They don't offer from the perspective from the other side of it though. Perhaps this book will give you some good insight from someone in your shoes.
.

Thank you I will definitely read this! I appreciate your help ��

- - - Updated - - -

I've read that book, and it's loaded with well though out and factual information with lots of medical citations too.

You say you're into animal transformation, have you considered incorporation a baby furry into the mix? This might be a good way to ease into the diaper play with something you're already comfortable with.

Thank you and I'll give it a try as a baby furry! Thanks for the ideas!! ��
 

nonabdlhelpplz

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I've read the entire thread twice. Allow me to make a few observations.

First, your husband is a lucky guy. I cannot bring up my infantilism to my wife on pain of divorce! Communication is indeed the key; your husband should keep in mind that not everyone has such a willing and communicative partner. In a word, he should appreciate you more than he apparently does.

Second, AB 'furnishings' have evolved over the past few years. I think you now have some reasonably attractive options with respect to diapers and baby girl clothing. I can remember when adult disposable diapers were still something of an obscure item and adult baby clothing did not exist. I never thought I was particularly fetching in a plain t-shirt and pinned-on Curity diapers, but that was all we had. I'll be interested to know what you and your husband find and decide to try.

Third, while I realize that your husband would enjoy taking care of you, there may be other 'mommy-baby' caregiving scenarios you haven't explored yet. I'm assuming that you've bathed, dressed, fed and changed him. If he likes to be humiliated, have you tried messy diapers? If that doesn't appeal to you, what else would you like to try?

Finally, I've never had an AB playmate, but the thought of having one without having someone there to take care of us doesn't thrill me. I don't enjoy being bored, and being with another adult baby without someone 'minding' us would bore me very quickly. Maybe you could think through scenarios that will allow you to care for him and others that will allow him to care for you.

All of us send you our best wishes. I think every one of us who've responded to this thread would love to know of at least one relationship in which everyone got what they wanted.

Thank you for the ideas! I will definitely try them out. My husband does appreciate me but it's just hard because that's his ultimate fantasy for me to be his baby and for us both to enjoy it. He said the only reason he wears the diapers and plays baby is to substitute for me. He said if I do really get into it, he will be the baby less and less. Right now besides him being the baby, he also views women in diapers (picture and video porn), and reads stories about women in diapers. We have tried messy diapers. I'm fine with pee diapers but poop is too much for me to deal with. I would hate to gag and have it turn him completely off lol. We have tried diaper sex. Either me humping him with him wearing diapers or him wearing a diaper and pulling it down to have actual sex. We've also tried being in the same diaper having sex. All of those things have been very hot. I really enjoyed myself!

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you BabySteve and AWH2!!! AWH2 I'm sorry about your wife not being comfortable or accepting of your baby needs.
 
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