My friend is joining the US Army.

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Kip

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I got a call from my friend today. He said that he would have to return the three magazines for my AR-15(Long story) to me with-in the next couple of months because he is joining the US Army. I thought it was really strange because for the past six months, all he has talked about was going to the police academy and becoming a police officer. When I asked him why he was joining the Army instead of going to the police academy, he said it was because he broke up with his girlfriend(I didn't ask why, I think maybe I should have), and he didn't see a point in making $40,000 a year because it was just going to be him.

He is my best friend. Sure, we have had a couple of fights, one of which ended with up not speaking for a month or so. I'm really worried that he is joining the military for the wrong reasons. When I asked him why he was joining the Army, instead of one of the other branches, he said it was because he had a better chance of dying. Whwn I asked him if he wanted to die, he said he really didn't care anymore.

I don't know what to do. I don't have a problem with him joining the military, I just think he is joining for the wrong reasons. I really do think that he will regret this descision one day.

I'm asking for your opinions. I don't think anything I say will change his mind, but I am willing to try anything at this point.
 

Takashi

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:hug: that's all I can offer.
 

Pojo

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You should talk to him about it...But once you sign up, I don't think you can quit really...But I could be wrong...I don't pay that much attention to war stuff *shrug*
 

juriev

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If he hasen't joined the army yet, he still has a chance to change his mind, but if he gets himself in it, it will be hard to get out. I think you should try to talk to him about counseling (an amazing hard subject to approach anyone about). I would hate to see him come home w/ PTSD (alot of our soldiers are) or not come home at all. I'm sorry, this must be hard for you.
 

doubledbbw

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I would hate to see your friend joining the Army for this reason too. Joining the military should be a honorable and dignified thing to do. I spent 20 years serving this country and don't regret 1 minute of it. I was a Recruiter for a while when I was in. I would hope they the Doctors at the MEPS(Military Entrance Processing Station) or his Recruiter would see that your friend might be depressed and not let him join right now. I while I was in was always taught that give the other guy(the enemy)the opportunity to die for his country. Good luck Kip and I hope that you are able to help your friend out.
 
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The army can build a person to become stronger mentally and pyschicly but it can also break someone down mentally and pyshicly . Talk to him if you even think for a second that he is considering suicide get him help IMEDIATLEY! this isnt to be taken lightly! But talk to him and keep a close eye on him. If necessary alert his parents. But most of all try your best to be there for him right now, try and cheer him up somehow.

Good luck and god bless mate!
 

MysteriousVisitor

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It's his decision to join the military, but I can see your point. Perhaps you could talk to his parents or any other significant other? They might be able to discern if anything is wrong.

I partially know how you feel, though. My best friend is with the 2nd Marine Division, deployed to Iraq right now.
 
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stanfordhawks

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You should talk to your friend and remind him of the god times you've had together.

As far as the recruiting doctors, they have loosened the criteria for entrance because of the war with the oil chugging camel jockeys.
We need more soldiers. They have even considered reenforcing the draft pretty soon.
 

Jeremiah

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As Pojo said, once the papers are signed, it is not easy to back out. Joining the Army is not the end of him and your friendship. However, speaking with him about his thoughts further is a good idea. Joining with the hopes of dying is not a good reason. Is his decision based completely on being dumped by his girlfriend?
 

Samaki

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I'm pretty sure that it's depression then, and I think that you can get out of it if he signed up out of depression, I would try to send him to a therapist or doctor, and if they say he is depressed then I believe he can get out of it... I dunno though.
 
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daria7483

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If he truly wants to die, then he is joining for the wrong reasons. Not only that, but if he goes overseas with that mentality he is not only putting himself in danger but his whole platoon.

If he has already committed to it in writing, I'm curious what he told the recruiters. It would be irresponsible to sign up someone who is showing signs of depression as your friend is, but maybe they're so desperate they don't care.

I think you need to talk to his parents and possibly the recruiter he's working with. Joining the military is not something to be taken lightly. If he's not joining for the right reasons then he may regret this for the rest of his life.
 

Herbiec

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If I were in your shoes, I would first talk to your friend and then to his parents with him there and then to his recruiter. I was an Army recruiter in 1973 and I would not have let him join if I thought there was any kind of a problem with my recruit. Maybe that's why I didn't last the whole 3 years as a recruiter???:confused:
 

ballucanb

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This is not, the time to join the army, I could see it if there was no war going on, but there is too great of a chance of getting killed.

I sounds like, he is doing this to spite his GF, somebody has got to talk this guy out of this.
 
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I had some thoughts on this matter a half year ago or so. Instead of instituting a draft, lower the age requirements, and allow in suicidal teenagers. A year ago or slightly less, I would have gladly joined and served for my country. I do not know how well I would do, I know I am no weakling in mental or emotional strength, but phys, might need some help.

Don't let him join, make him wait 1-2 months, he will probably come to his senses.
 

baconbit

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I got a call from my friend today. He said that he would have to return the three magazines for my AR-15(Long story) to me with-in the next couple of months because he is joining the US Army. I thought it was really strange because for the past six months, all he has talked about was going to the police academy and becoming a police officer. When I asked him why he was joining the Army instead of going to the police academy, he said it was because he broke up with his girlfriend(I didn't ask why, I think maybe I should have), and he didn't see a point in making $40,000 a year because it was just going to be him.

He is my best friend. Sure, we have had a couple of fights, one of which ended with up not speaking for a month or so. I'm really worried that he is joining the military for the wrong reasons. When I asked him why he was joining the Army, instead of one of the other branches, he said it was because he had a better chance of dying. Whwn I asked him if he wanted to die, he said he really didn't care anymore.

I don't know what to do. I don't have a problem with him joining the military, I just think he is joining for the wrong reasons. I really do think that he will regret this descision one day.

I'm asking for your opinions. I don't think anything I say will change his mind, but I am willing to try anything at this point.
I feel you man my 2nd cousin joined the milatary and died in a freak accident (or so was said they were hiding something). The worse thing is that when the are burried a holes from kansas protest the funals(if you live in the us excpessally maryland put the peices together this happened last year btw). Try to talk him into joining the navy so much safer. oh and if he is smart they will put him to work on the base doing something that requires a lot of intellageance.
 
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I honestly, at this time, would talk him out of it, once you're in they own you until your time is served. And with this whole Russia/Georgia thing going on right now, he has no idea what he may be walking into.
 

Kip

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If he truly wants to die, then he is joining for the wrong reasons. Not only that, but if he goes overseas with that mentality he is not only putting himself in danger but his whole platoon.

If he has already committed to it in writing, I'm curious what he told the recruiters. It would be irresponsible to sign up someone who is showing signs of depression as your friend is, but maybe they're so desperate they don't care.

I think you need to talk to his parents and possibly the recruiter he's working with. Joining the military is not something to be taken lightly. If he's not joining for the right reasons then he may regret this for the rest of his life.
I'm almost certain that it is depression. I'm going to call him later and see if we can go out to lunch or something and I'll try to talk some sense into him. Not that I think he will listen to me, but it is worth a shot.

He hasn't signed the papers yet, thank God. As for talking to his parents, his dad died a couple of years ago, and his mom is pretty much useless. He has no support at home whatsoever. Well, at least that is my opinion. He might see it differently.

The thing is, he wants to sign the papers at the end of September, but he has to lose something like 40 pounds in order to be accepted. The maximum weight for hid height(He is 5 ft. 10) is 180 pounds, and he weighs 220 at present. I really don't see him being able to lose that kind of weight in less than two months.
 

IncompleteDude

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In Canada, anyone can join the military no matter what their weight, although they do send you to a fat camp first if you are overweight. Anyways, if your friend was here joining the Canadian military, I would say go for it. Here the military offers extensive psychological services that can help him with any possible depression, there is very little chance of dying, and the benefits are fantastic.
 

Herbiec

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After mentioning his being overweight--NO recruiter in his right mind would let him join now. He may already have depression causing the overweight.
By September he may come to his senses, if not, then feed him lots of ice cream!!!!!!!!!
Sorry about the feeble attempt at a joke!!
 
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