Most incontinence embarrassed you've ever been?

[inconsurferdude]

The reply I started writing to this thread isn't really a diaper failure, so I thought I'd start a new once since incontinence can be embarrassing even when our diapers work.

The only catastrophic incident since I've been in diapers was really just completely embarrassing, even though the diaper didn't fail. Carpooled with some friends to see a 3 hour play. I decided to leave my changing bag at home and just wear an overnight diaper with a booster, since we'd be sitting in the dark the whole time. Well I had a full on bowel movement right as I stood up during intermission, and everyone around us heard it. This was at the very beginning of my IBS issues, before I started using plastic pants during the day. My friends know that I'm incontinent, but not like that. So I tried to play it off as gas and linger for a few minutes before rushing to the restroom, which at this point had a line out the door. Inside it was packed. When I finally got into the one stall I tried to clean up as best I could without wipes while people were standing around waiting to use the stall. Booster contained most of the accident, but I still had to wrap it up with just toilet paper and throw it away in front of a bunch of guys, including one of my friends. Not to mention having to re-tape a slightly messy diaper and then wear it for another 90 minutes, plus the short car ride home.

The most embarrassing part was actually in private after we got back. My fiance has always remained supportive but I hadn't told her that I'd been starting to have bowel issues. So we had to have that conversation right after I got out of the shower, and it was the only time she's ever yelled at me for anything to do with my incontinence. Basically saying it's not a big deal as long as you manage it and calling me an idiot for leaving all of my changing stuff at home "if you know that you might sh*t yourself in front of our friends".... when I tried explaining that it had only happened a few times and never in public, she ended the conversation by saying "it just did" :/

I ended up falling asleep on the couch, and when I checked my phone the next morning I realized she had stayed up all night reading (and emailing me) "resources" about managing IBS. We talked about it some more over breakfast and both of us apologized, so it ended on a positive note. A few days later I felt embarrassed again when I saw one of my diapers in her purse (she'd never done this before) but instead of bringing it up directly I bought her a much smaller purse as a surprise gift and said something about how if it's too small she can always keep some things in my changing bag since I'll always have it with me

 

[Jeff Rictus]

I was out to dinner with my inlaws. It was fairly early in my marriage, so things were still alitte.....awkward. Dinner was nice, and we were saying our goodbyes. I was shaking my father inlaws hand when.....I filled my pants. It was so embarrassing. I don't know if he heard it but, thank god my diaper held.
The ride home was less than pleasant.........

 

[inconsurferdude]

I was out to dinner with my inlaws. It was fairly early in my marriage, so things were still alitte.....awkward. Dinner was nice, and we were saying our goodbyes. I was shaking my father inlaws hand when.....I filled my pants. It was so embarrassing. I don't know if he heard it but, thank god my diaper held.
The ride home was less than pleasant.........

I can't imagine worse timing. Did you have to tell your wife what had happened, or did she already know?

 

[caffelatte]

A few days later I felt embarrassed again when I saw one of my diapers in her purse (she'd never done this before) but instead of bringing it up directly I bought her a much smaller purse as a surprise gift

You are a wise man indeed

 

[rennecfox]

For me it remains the time I was shopping at goodwill, I had just rushed in needing a new computer chair, hadn’t thought I would need to change in that time, got out to the car and the chair wouldn’t fit…. So while trying to make it fit I felt my self having a bowel movement. I realized at this point the chair was not going to fit… without using a screwdriver to take it appart, so I went into a rite aid in the shopping center, got into line after finding a screwdriver, heard the cashier repeatedly making the comment to a coworker as I was scanning my card to buy the screwdriver “wheeeew smells like some baby in here messed their diaper” I got out of there as quickly and quietly as possible.

 

[weethepeople]

I posted this very thing in other threads but it is about as embarrassing as it gets I reckon yet it hardly makes sense. You'd think other people seeing you wet and or in a nappy would be embarrassing but take it from me it's much closer to home for me . Mum is long gone now (1990) but in April 1980 while travelling through roadworks as a relatively new driver (20 y.o.) I managed to collide with a bridge . They'd watered down a section approaching the bridge and I was apparently travelling too fast and slid into a bridge support according to the police investigator interviewing me weeks later once I was up to it medically ..Multiple head and body injuries and broken shoulder , right arm in two places , eye damage from smashed glass that eventually improved and neuro issues ..was really knocked around ..Should have died was what I was told once or twice . I digress ..I'm good at that .

Because I literally couldn't even dress myself for a little while after I came home my Mum was my full time carer .. She fitted this in with a part time job running our local library.. Incontinence from neurological and physical damage from the steering wheel crushing me meant I couldn't control my functions much so adult nappies made life easier and less messy . So , I couldn't get them (or my clothes) on and off without help . Mum did it . Despite her totally taking care of me as a small child every day initially , bathing me , changing me obviously for the first few years of life it was completely different at 20 years old for obvious reasons ..Having to lay there naked while she took off a soiled/wet nappy , wash me down there etc.. and then help me lift enough to slide a clean Dri Shield disposable under as required was near unbearably humiliating but I had no choice . If it was hard for me I knew it was really tough for her too but she never really complained. Slowly I got better and could do much of this myself and I eventually (about five months) got back to work fully .. Mum was amazing but it's so stangely difficult to deal with ... Other than one isolated incident with an elderly next door neighbour visiting many weeks into recovery when I could change myself again and she saw my nappy on the floor when I thought she'd already left except she returned straight away to retrieve her cardigan (again Mum saved the day ) the rest of that time after that near life ending crash was how it was .

Now OAB impacts me as a 62 y.o. and results in enuresis often and careful day time management and precautions but it's a walk in the park compared to my 1980 experience ..that's for sure .

 

[Raven801]

Mine hands down was a leaky diaper on a delta flight from Jamaica.... I've posted about it long story short it was very turbulent and they wouldn't open the luggage bins so I couldn't change and they weren't letting us out of our seats. It was awful. But in the end delta and it's employees were awesome over it but it was probably one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life

 

[enthusi]

This is not nearly as bad as others on here, but one late evening I was at CVS to purchase a pack of “fitted briefs.” Just as I was about to check out I realized I forgot to buy some stuff. I left the diapers by the register so I could get the other things. I don’t think the cashier, who looked like she was in her teens noticed I was still in ear shot. I overheard her make a joking with this one boy about her age, who was just chilling. He was probably her boyfriend and waiting for her to get off work. Anyways at point she pointed to the diapers and said they’re for him. Then they started making the usual jokes about using adult diapers and snickering.

By this point I was too embarrassed to claim them as mine and pay for them (in front of the employee and her friend), so I left. I debated saying something to them or the manager. It really was inappropriate for the cashier to be joking like that with her boyfriend, especially while she was on the clock. I probably could’ve gotten her in trouble but I didn’t feel like escalating it at the time, and honestly I forgot about this until now.

 

[Petya217]

Once I was paying for my items, the cashier was registering my stuffs. At the exact moment she announced the price my bowels completely (and without much warning) emptied its content into my diaper. Noisily. I could see the cashier and and a few people behind me in the queue looking at me in shock/disgust. I quickly paid and left the store. It was f’in humiliating

 

[PuffPuffPaci]

It was in the days when I was massively in denial about my issues and just making do with changing clothes pretty frequently. Anyway, I had broken my leg in the middle of a very icy winter. I was super struggling with the crutches and getting around generally. Having an urgent continents certainly complicated the issue. At the time, I lived at work and because I couldn't work I became homeless. Which meant finding a bathroom became a little tough.

One day I was sitting around basically loitering, and I had to use the bathroom. Generally I hung around this gas station that was pretty decent about letting people use the restroom as needed. However, a particular person had gone in there using drugs and had made a mess of things. This caused the gas station to shut the bathroom down and refuse service. So I had to crutch several blocks to the nearest McDonald's.

Unfortunately for me this McDonald's happens to be on a pretty busy Street. Homelessness created a situation where I didn't have very many changes of clothes. And can only carry what I could fit in a backpack (all my worldly possessions were gone because I could not physically go retrieve them as I didn't own a vehicle). As I'm going down the street I can feel that things are starting to get wet. And by the time I actually got into the McDonald's my pants are significantly wet.

Once in the stall I'm able to finish going to the bathroom, but realize that my pants are mega mega super wet. It is plainly obvious that I peed myself. And I had to spend the rest of the day in those clothes, because I couldn't afford to do any washing, and changing clothes as a broken legged female in abandoned buildings and the like is not ideal. I didn't really feel safe changing clothes anywhere, until the next day when the shelter opened and I could get in for a shower.

So that's my horror story. Well, there was that time that I peed myself at the gay bar and was actually offered a diaper by an abdl bar patron. Fortunately, I was working, had a vehicle, and an extra change of clothes. Because I know I was likely to pee myself. But still didn't have sense enough to buy diapers for some reason! Lol I don't know what took me so long.....

 

[Garzilla]

When I was much younger I had issues with IBS. At first it was really only very occasional and I was luckily able to get to a restroom in time. Eventually things grew worse, bad enough that I would travel diapered but still took a chance when out other times.

On one occasion I had been with business friends oat a regular lunch meeting. I started feeling uncomfortable so I excused myself, went to the restrooms that were both occupied. As I waited I realized things were going to happen without my control. All this time and I had managed to not have a serious public accident. I had made quite a mess and the manager happened to walk up (I knew here) to my horror, she just smiled and said it would be ok. That I should just go home and get cleaned up, she would take care of the floor and would excuse me with my friends.

I’ve had other embarrassing situations, have always been terrified of others catching me in diapers, and here I am creating a situation that would not have been so bad had I been diapered.

 

[PaddedRita]

A few times I had a little Baby Powder on the bottom tapes.
A later on in the day I was leaking and it was showing on my clothing.

 

[Deleted member 57331]

Wet my diaper when enjoying a Starbucks frappuccino with a friend, she did notice I was wearing a diaper, lol

 

[Jeff Rictus]

I can't imagine worse timing. Did you have to tell your wife what had happened, or did she already know?

She knew the minute we entered the car.....

Not our first time at the rodeo.
It was embarrassing, but we had a laugh on the way home.

 

[inconsurferdude]

She knew the minute we entered the car.....

Not our first time at the rodeo.
It was embarrassing, but we had a laugh on the way home.

Nice that you both were able to laugh about it. My fiance doesn't really say anything about my incontinence at all unless she's been drinking, but even then she just makes playful comments. Still debating whether I need to tell her about extent of my IBS :/

 

[inconsurferdude]

Wet my diaper when enjoying a Starbucks frappuccino with a friend, she did notice I was wearing a diaper, lol

How did she notice?

 

[Kaliborio]

I've been distressed. I don't know that I've ever been embarrassed. I had some pretty awful accidents as a kid but I also had so much other shit going on that I wasn't really integrated enough with any kind of social group for shame about my diapers and continence issues to be a problem for me. When I returned to diapers as an adult I was more able to feel embarrassment and shame, but diapers and incontinence were also sufficiently normalised for me by then that I didn't feel a whole lot of it.

I would say there were two moments that really stuck out in my mind as low points for me.

The first one was in late 2013. The context is that I originally went back into diapers for my UI, using gradually more comprehensive and higher-grade protection through 2012 and into 2013, and my FI was fine at the time I had to go back into diapers, but went downhill over time. Late 2013 is when I had my first messing accident in a public space where I couldn't process it away as something else. I wouldn't say it was incredibly embarrassing but it did a lot to reduce my remaining confidence in my control and to make it difficult for me to see myself as a temporarily embarrassed continent person.

The second one was at the end of 2015. In that context I had severe UI and FI but had had a gap year. I felt like I'd let my control go; as an adult, looking back on it, I recognise there was more to it than that, but in any event because I felt that I also felt compelled to get my control back. In the last six months of 2015 I had essentially ideal conditions where I could risk leaking and so on and could therefore risk wearing thinner diapers and pull-ups and trying to get to the toilet.

I had kind of just assumed that I would get back enough control to get out of diapers but I ran out of time, so as a result I had to return to heavier protection at the start of 2016, which severely compromised any hope I had of continuing to toilet. It wasn't incredibly embarrassing, but the specific day on which I had to change out of my last pull-up back into a diaper was demoralising when I thought I was going to be returning to underwear instead. I did cry. (Since then, I've reviewed my thinking a lot and found much more peace with myself as an incontinent person, but at the time, there was heartache.)

 

[HalMidLife]

For me it was the first time buying pull ups. I had been trying to convince myself for several weeks that my wet pants were because I didn't "shake it all out" when I was done peeing, but after too many times of not joining my colleagues for a mid afternoon coffee (because I was wet and embarrassed to stand up) I finally worked up the nerve to buy pull ups.

That day at noon, I went to a local grocery store that also has a drug mart inside. I waited until no one was in the incontinence isle, grabbed a bag of Depend pull-ups, threw them into a basket, and tossed a few things I didn't need on top. When I got to the cash, I was already embarrassed as heck with the Depend bag on the conveyor, feeling like the brand name was 8 feet tall, when the cashier asked me if I might need a second grocery bag. Without thinking I said, "I guess it depends..." and she looked at me with an awkward half grin and bit her lip. I said "it's ok, trust me, I'm kinda awkward myself right now".

 

[sport1]

My most embarrassing time came when just starting to have problems with my incontinence was filling my car with gas and lost control standing there with wet pants rushed home to change pant with red face.

 

[Jeff Rictus]

Nice that you both were able to laugh about it. My fiance doesn't really say anything about my incontinence at all unless she's been drinking, but even then she just makes playful comments. Still debating whether I need to tell her about extent of my IBS :/

I would, before the issue becomes (an issue).
Open dialog, good or bad is paramount. My wife and I don't always agree, but we talk it out.