Modern Parenting?

[Trevor]

I ran across this story and after wondering if it was a parody or why it was news (even in the Living section), I then wondered if this sort of thing had become commonplace? I guess I could see a parent possibly swapping out a dead goldfish with a live one, but this strikes me as an odd way to approach the problem.

Mom keeps pet's death secret - CNN.com

For those of you who are currently dealing with parents, does this seem like something your parents would do/would have done? Does it seem reasonable to you? Would you do this to/for your child? Please explain!

For after you've read the article:

Spoiler

And if you think I'm too harsh in my reaction to this, what I think is harsh is the lack of a chance to say goodbye to the pet. She tosses the thing in the trash! No closure at all for her kid at all.

And..."Mommy" from a 3rd grader? Maybe Clint Eastwood is right about us after all.

 

[Pojo]

As for parents now, I'd have to say I've heard about that quite often...As for my generation, I don't see that happening as much...What's wrong with a 3rd grader saying "mommy"? I said that until 16ish...

 

[Trevor]

What's wrong with a 3rd grader saying "mommy"? I said that until 16ish...

This explains a lot. Thank you.

 

[Charlie]

Yeah, at least she didn't replace the pet with a new one, as some parents do (admittedly only on sit-coms, only for hilarious consequences to come about).

I'm not even sure what I think about it. I guess it depends on the child. This one is clearly emo, and he seemed grateful so I guess the mother just knew her child well enough...

I'm not sure what I would have done in her position.

This actually reminds me of a conversation I heard around the time I was doing A-levels (probably the most important exams in the UK, or at least seem that way when you're doing them), about a girl I didn't know. The people talking were being quite critical of her because she apparently shouted at her mother for telling her that she was going to die [the mother, of cancer I think] right before her A-level tests.
(I personally think they were a little harsh, I'm not sure what my reaction would be to being told my mum was going to die, especially at such a stressful time, it would be most likely uncharacteristically of me)

Anyway, maybe the news in both cases could have waited, maybe telling them straight out would be right...

So I still think it depends on the person, if they hate being kept in the dark I'd tell them. If they're consequentialists, I might wait for a better time.

Edit: a nine year old saying "mommy" does sound weird... Unless it's being said in that high-pitched, stuck-up, upper-class accent in which it's alright because it adds to the punchability factor.

 

[h3g3l]

I ran across this story and after wondering if it was a parody or why it was news (even in the Living section), I then wondered if this sort of thing had become commonplace? I guess I could see a parent possibly swapping out a dead goldfish with a live one, but this strikes me as an odd way to approach the problem.

Mom keeps pet's death secret - CNN.com

For those of you who are currently dealing with parents, does this seem like something your parents would do/would have done? Does it seem reasonable to you? Would you do this to/for your child? Please explain!

For after you've read the article:

Spoiler

And if you think I'm too harsh in my reaction to this, what I think is harsh is the lack of a chance to say goodbye to the pet. She tosses the thing in the trash! No closure at all for her kid at all.

And..."Mommy" from a 3rd grader? Maybe Clint Eastwood is right about us after all.

I think there are larger issues in their lives than just the death of Checkers. It would seem to me that the kid is pushed and scheduled; "mommy" comes off here as a definite helicopter parent. Divorced. Living for Junior and smothering him. Her actions seem slightly off-kilter: throwing the circuit breaker to ensure darkness in the kid's room? Geez.

The kid will be neurotic, methinks.

To come to the point of your question, you're effectively asking if the closure attained by seeing a corpse is worth it.

At age 9 ... probably. I know that we had 2 cats die when I was 5-6; my parents told me that one ran away (I found out much, much later that they'd found a Callie-pancake on the road ) and the other one died in surgery. I didn't get to see either one. I'd have liked to have seen Sam (the cat in surgery), but think they did the right thing with Callie - age 6 is not a good time to see your cat's insides on the road. Though our other cat didn't die until I was 11-12 (renal failure - asshole neighbor left antifreeze in his driveway, and that was that) I'd have liked to be there with him when he was put down.

But I digress.

Given that the rodent died non-violently, yes, the kid should have been allowed to see it and have immediate closure. There are lessons in life that schooling should not interfere with; were this my child, I would have taken our grief out through a funeral service/burial and planting of something on the grave. It's a good opportunity to see that the world is larger than any one thing, and that we are all transitory - today, Checkers was a rodent, but tomorrow he'll nurture this rosebush.