Mikeru117’s Guide to Buying Diapers
There is a problem that a lot of people face in this community. It’s plagued us since the very beginning of our existence, and will continue to do so for the rest of time. But, to save you all the trouble, this guide has been created to help you better fix the problem and better get acquainted with… uncomfortable situations. Yes, that’s right; this guide is all about buying diapers! It’s notable to mention that this guide will NOT be covering the issue of hiding diapers, but simply about getting them.
To start this thing off, we should first address the three most common questions- or maybe some not-so-common ones. For starters, “why buy diapers in the first place? What if I have a friend willing to lend me some?”
Well, for starters, that can be dangerous! Giving out personal information over the internet to ANYONE has severe risks! Secondly, if you’re even reading this guide, you’ll probably wind up having to do this over and over again for a very long time! Once you do it once, each successive time comes easier.
Second thing that’s commonly heard in the community is “I’m scared; people will know they’re for me!”
Friends, allies, and acquaintances- that’s just silly! Thanks to the current rules, laws, and standards and practices of our modern day society, the chance of people thinking that is much lower. If you’re small enough to fit into baby diapers, chances are that people will think that either you’re an older sibling, or a parent to be. If you’re a teen, the chances of people viewing you as an older sibling is greater than if you were an Adult, and if you’re an adult, the chances of you being a parent are viewed as higher than that of a teen. So, in short, people won’t usually think they’re for you.
In the case of adult diapers, it’s common that people will think it’s for your elderly grandma or grandpa, or that someone in your family is disabled. Not a lot of people are fully aware of incontinence, and, when the average non AB/TB/DL sees you walking along with a pack of depends in your hand, they will commonly think that they’re for someone who is much older.
“Where do I buy diapers?”
This is entirely up to you, the buyer. We’ll get more into that later, though.
The beginning- choosing your target
Like most other people in the world, you probably know a little bit about war; perhaps from books, perhaps from videogames, or maybe from movies and television. Whatever the case, the base thing you have to know about war, and buying diapers, is that scouting promotes a higher mission-completion rate. What’s meant by this is that you want to know where you’re going, what you’re getting, and how you’re getting out. This is the easiest part of the process- which is good, because, again, it promotes a high completion rate. Location matters- and dictates everything. So, in retrospect, the setup is more important than the actual act of buying diapers. Isn’t that neat?
The first thing you want to choose is your target location- AKA the place you’re buying your padding. There are a lot of decent suggestions as to where you may want to buy them. Some people prefer going into a pharmacy. Some people prefer going into grocery stores, and others prefer going into large chain stores like K-Mart and Walmart. This can be a challenge, as what you choose may entirely dictate your results!
Commonly, pharmacies tend to hold the best ‘loot.’ The reason being that, by all accounts, adult diapers and baby diapers are considered a medical necessity, rather than a recreational item (for obvious reasons).For this reason, if you want the better, sometimes more expensive brands, it’s suggested that you go to a pharmacy. CVS and Walgreens are preferred. The problem with pharmacies are their size- they’re usually not a giant behemoth of a place, and don’t commonly have a large staff, save for the people working with prescriptions behind the counter. For this reason, if someone does suspect you of buying the padding for yourself, it’s most likely that they’ll talk about it more openly to their partners at work. Again, it’s unlikely, but the likeliness is higher if they realize something’s up. This most commonly occurs when one buys, say, adult diapers and a package of pacifiers, but we’ll talk about that later. The only other drawbacks are that there are usually only one or two cash registers at pharmacies. For this reason, you may be on line for a bit, waiting for the cashiers to slowly ring up every single item from the huge line of people in front of you. This is something mostly to do with timing, but, again, more on that later.
“The Grocery Store and the Chain Store”
The grocery store is very similar to the large chain stores, but with one major drawback- they don’t have nearly as good adult diapers as they do baby diapers. Baby diapers are also the same price in these stores, but they also seem to have a more constant dedication throughout each of the stores compared to large chain stores, which tend to vary on their dedicated-ness towards the baby cause. Some stores, even of the same name, have entire corners of the store dedicated to baby items, whilst others only have an isle and a half. If you’re going for baby diapers, it’s preferred you go for the grocery store. If you want adult sized diapers, go to the chain store, as they usually have better loot.
The pros of these stores, and the cons, except for the ones stated above are exactly the same. The pros here are substantial. There are usually a lot of lines open, and as such, more skilled and fast working employees. They’ll usually ring things up and not say a word to you. The lines move fast, and other people don’t usually care what you’re buying. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but it’s usually like this 95% of the time. Likewise, these stores are LARGE. They tend to be pretty big and, as such, they give you many venues to travel through to get to and from your destination, wherever and whatever that might be.
At the same time, stores like that can get crowded during sales, and tend to have a larger number of total people in the store at the same time. It’s more likely that you’ll run into someone you know at a larger store, but it’s also all the more easy to avoid them.
Okay, so, you’ve decided where you’re going to buy. Let’s start with the basic tips for set up.
Tip 1: Plan your gear
As with anything, wearing the right clothes is a huge part in this. For some, the fear factor of being seen with friends while holding a pack of adult diapers is terrifying- and it’s not hard to tell why. It’s suggested that one wears a plain hoodie, a baseball cap, or something else that might help conceal your hair. Hair is a defining trait in a person that society often looks to for verification of identity- so try covering up your hair, or doing it in a different way when going out! Also, if you’re fearful of people seeing your packaging on the way home, wear a backpack; preferably a larger one, of course.
Tip 2: Write it all down
Writing down where you need to go is the best thing you can do out of any of these steps. If you follow just one suggestion here, let it be this one. Plot out the way you’re going to go before you get in there on paper. You don’t need to make anything fancy, just a crude but semi-accurate drawing of the interior of the store you’re planning to go into. Draw out the store and label key areas. These should include your target location, AKA the place you’re snagging the diapers from, where the cash registers are, and finally the exits and entrances. This helps a LOT! When you have a map, you have a means of something to fall back on should your mind falter for a few moments.
Another neat trick that’s been used by a few people, but is underutilized, is the ‘list’ trick. This trick should include a small list of things you need to buy. It works best if you do this with a chain store, because if they don’t have a food isle, you can write down names of items that they don’t have, and nobody will get suspicious if you don’t buy those items. Put the list down for a second and start checking things off from it, even if you just do it in your head whilst looking at it. If someone sees that you have a list, chances are that they’ll think your mom (if you’re a teen) or your significant other, or maybe even you are out on a quick shopping spree, and they sent you in to get what they needed. It’s helpful, but shouldn’t be overplayed. Use this trick with caution, as if you play it too overdramatically, it might arouse suspicion.
Tip 3: Fallback plan
You need a fallback plan if things somehow go wrong. Let’s just say that you see someone in the store you know. Assuming you have a good amount of time on your hands, you may wait for them to leave, or go to the back area of the store before buying things. Have alternate routes set up if an area is too crowded. These things can help deplete the stress of the experience, which is always helpful, and the point of this guide.
Tip 4: Choosing your specific item
Choose the item you want BEFORE going in. Get prices of things sorted out if you can, too. You don’t want to go in with 10$, only to realize that the item you want costs 12.99$ Make sure you have a little extra, too. It’s always nice to have a little more in your pocket, and it’s always good to have more than less!
Tip 5: Liquid movement
Moving fluently should be something you master along your many journeys into stores. Make sure that you grab your things and go- don’t dally. The more time you waste, the more the stress. If you’re grabbing something besides diapers, grab that first! It’s less likely people will be staring at you if you have a box of Trix cereal, rather than if you’re carrying around a pack of diapers.
Tip 6: Timing
Timing can do a lot for a person, especially here. If you time things correctly, you may have a less stressful time with things. If you go to a store a half hour to twenty minutes before closing, you’ll encounter (usually) a much smaller population within the store than, say, at three or four in the afternoon on a weekday. At the same time, you’ll find that less registers will be open, so your options of choosing between fast moving and slow moving lanes become greatly damaged. It’s a matter of preference, though. Do you want less people to see what you have while standing on a line that takes forever to move along, or would you rather have a lot of people see what you’re buying, but have a line move at a higher speed? Again, it’s a choice of preference. Each side of this choice is perfectly acceptable, and neither is the correct, nor the wrong choice.
This is the serious part of the experience, the part that you probably need the most help with. It’s no lie that this is stressful, and it’s wrong to say that it isn’t an adrenaline rush. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that might leave you just a little drained your first time around! This is the pickup. The pickup is the moment you actually grab the diapers, bring them to the register, pay for them and go.
The first thing to remember is that not everyone is looking at you. Stay calm. If you’re buying adult diapers, you have a higher chance of people staring at you, but they’ll usually disregard the package as something for someone elderly, as stated in the Q&A section.
The second thing to remember is that, even if they wanted to, the cashiers aren’t allowed to say anything about what you’re buying. They are restricted by store policy to verbally and publicly judge you because of what you’re buying or wearing. They will not say anything to you. If they do say something insulting, kindly ask to see a manager and explain to them what the person said. Note that this usually isn’t going to happen, and it will draw more attention to you than you probably want.
The third thing to remember is that once it’s over, it’s over. You don’t have to go back in there with your packaging. You might have felt like it was a lifetime, but in reality, you were probably in the store for roughly five minutes, maybe a little more or maybe a little less. It’s all over after that, and you can do with your package what you wish.
The fourth and final thing to remember is to not push yourself! If you’re feeling overly nervous about buying diapers, go for something else. A baby bottle, a pacifier, a childish movie, a childish toy or plushie- generally anything that’s babyish in nature that you buy will help build up your confidence!
The base steps
These are the base steps that are the skeleton for most situations. Feel free to modify them to fit your needs! These ‘base steps’ are meant to be the actions taken to reach the diapers, or other items, and leave.
1. Reach target store
2. Enter target store
3. Walk past the registers and check what line is moving the fastest.
4. Walk past checkpoint A
5. Walk past checkpoint B
6. Approach the package, look around for nosey people
7. Grab the package and walk off. Turn it so that the back part of it is facing outwards, towards where people can see
8. Walk past checkpoint C
9. Walk past checkpoint D
10. Walk to the register
11. Pay for item
12. Leave the store
These 12 base steps are the simplest steps to buying diapers, in regards to it being the least stressful. Some of you may notice that there are four “checkpoints” throughout the journey into the store. To reduce the amount of stress, it’s nice if you’re not passing the same people twice as you’re in the store. Each checkpoint is a specific location that one can choose to pass. Again, modify these steps at your leisure! Change what steps go where, change what each step is supposed to be, subtract steps or add some! Hell, do a little bit of each if it helps you!
Another thing that should be covered is buying online. This is a ‘mixed bag’ option for a lot of people, but it’s obviously something that needs to be discussed. For starters, it has a lot of pros! The first pro is that it gets rid of that whole ‘I’m walking into a store and buying diapers in front of people’ aspect of things. This is a big bonus, and has a lot of stress-relieving payoff. You also can get these with a pre-paid card, if you use the right site. You also have the ability to get WAY better brands, such as Tena, Abena, Bambinos, and even cloth if that’s your thing.
At the same time, there are a lot of drawbacks. There’s a waiting period between when you buy, and when you receive your package. This can be delayed due to weather conditions ANYWHERE in the world, and can throw off your initial estimated arrival date. At the same time, if things are very much in your favor in terms of weather, you might get your package earlier than expected. The reason this is a con and NOT a pro is due to, once again, nosey people. If you’re an adult living on your own, or with someone who is aware that you’re an AB/DL, this isn’t an issue. If you’re a teen, you probably still live at home with your parents/legal guardians. This can be problematic, due to a package arriving when other people are home. Some companies will not ship to a post office P.O box, so do note that, even if you get one, it may not even be worth it in the end, if you’re getting one just for diapers and AB/DL/TB/BF stuff! That said, some places DO allow this.
ADISC_Wiki said:Local pickup
Shipping carriers such as FedEx and UPS can hold a package at their nearest location if you want to be able to pick it up at your convenience. Even if the company does not offer the option online or on the phone, if you talk to the right people, you can set this up. Typically, the store will telephone you when the package arrives and require a photo ID for you to pick it up.
If you live in the United States, you can have packages shipped to your local post office. If you want to use this option, detailed instructions are usually available at each local post office.
If you live in the United Kingdom, you can have packages shipped to your local post office by making use of the Poste Restante service. Please note this is only available when using Royal Mail as the carrier. Parcels delivered through another courier will not be accepted. When specifying the address include the following: your full name, 'POSTE RESTANTE' or 'TO BE CALLED FOR', followed by 'POST OFFICE' and the full address of the branch. If it's only addressed to a town name, for example 'POST RESTANTE, LONDON', then it will go to the closest main Post Office branch. The sender should also include their return address. When collecting you must bring some form of ID.
The pros and cons are very heavy on both sides of things. Commonly, people who are able will prefer to buy online - diapers of a higher quality are available, better deals can be had, and you don't need to deal with the social aspect of buying diapers in front of other shoppers.
If you’re a teen who still lives at home with your parents/legal guardians, it’s suggested that you actually go out and get your stuff! It’s also a good self-learning experience, as you learn a lot about what you can and can’t handle. If you’re having self-esteem issues, this can actually be a really good boost for you!
When it comes down to it, both sides of things have their pros and cons. If you buy online you manage to get better brands, but if you go to the store you actually get a new life experience under your belt that not a lot of people can say they have! Regardless, whether you choose to go out and buy them in person, or you prefer the waiting game of shipping, your choices are numerous and easily reachable. Most places sell diapers, so it’s very likely that you’ll be able to find a store near you that has exactly what you’re looking for.
And with that, may you all have a pleasant time buying whatever it is you’re seeking. If, after your first few ventures you get daring, just remember that each added item adds to the experience in its own way. It’s a different experience buying just adult diapers, in comparison to buying adult diapers, a pacifier, and a baby bottle. It can be done, but again, the more items, the more stress. Don’t push yourself, people!
All the best,