Might've been discovered yesterday

mistykitty

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Last night while I was sleeping the fire alarms went off in my complex. I always sleep diapered so I just pulled a pair of pants over it and grabbed a shirt and sweatshirt and went right outside. Issue came when the fire department wouldn't let us in for 40 minutes while they investigated. My body has learned to use the diaper when diapered and the toilet when not so it just went. I've always known this was a risk and accepted it but I never expected it to occur around other because usually I stick to wearing at night and during day when my roommate not around. If it had just been a wetting I don't think it would have been noticed but though it was silent or at least I couldn't hear much it was definitely unfortunately more than a wetting and I could see peoples expressions around me change after. Unfortunately the fire people needed to talk to us so we could not leave the area and I was stuck around everybody. Because of the sweatpants and sweatshirt I doubt anyone saw it but I heard numerous where did that smell come from comments and something smells horrible comments. I also got a lot of stares when we were going back in because we were close together at the security door. I'm really upset by this not so much because I could've been found out but more because I go out of my way to be respectful and not bring my abdl life into that of others if avoidable and because of that fire alarm I had to do so unwillingly because we were told to leave immediately. That being said, said scenario is slightly better than if I had not had diaper on but I still feel bad about my roommate and neighbors having to deal with something I was trying to avoid. The annoying thing is (but I guess good at the same time because it wasn't serious) the alarm was triggered by someone who had a space heater to close to there fire alarm and the heat triggered it. This entire event was totally avoidable. My roommate works today but I'm off, we were both tired yesterday and went right back to sleep after the event but I'm worried about being questioned by him this afternoon. I always give people the truth so if he asks I'm not going to deny wearing/using, I'm just hoping he's understanding about it. I've got my room under control now with an air purifier and an automatic air freshner in addition to better trashcan, but he also commented in past about my room smelling so I think he's maybe already suspicious and I worried this might've been the thing that confirmed it for him.
 
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LadyOfTintagel

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Ouch. I'm sorry that happened, that must have been very embarrassing.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, though. It sounds like it was an accident, which is what diapers are for. The worst the others had to experience was a bad smell.
 
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Diaperman95

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gonna play gonna pay! Many of us this is our world and our biggest fear. I honestly cant imagine why anyone would want to shit them self. But I suppose it was a eye opening experience. I am not happy you was embarrassed and do not wish bad on you. But you did kinda do it to yourself. It makes sympathy a little hard. I am glad to hear that you would not normally do that around others. But if you did just have it happen it is still on you for making yourself bowel incontinent. I feel a hell a lot worse for the people you bombed. I hope you learned from it.
 

Reward

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A couple of things, hindsight being 20/20 of course.

This may feel harsh but here we are.
I'm assuming you have no vehicle outside with changing supplies, right?
You shouldn't have stayed in the crowd after that happened, just walked away from everyone. Take a long walk.. whatever. There are no excuses to have not done so.
"The fire people needed to talk to us" is not a valid reason under those circumstances.
I'd have gone somewhere- anywhere- and cleaned up as best as possible instead of hanging around and then smelling up your room once back inside.

As for the future, I'd recommend you to stop voluntarily using your bedroom for this as well, the room mate has already mentioned it's an issue for them.
Get your own place if you can't stop doing this. If you can't swing having a vehicle or your own place, you shouldn't be doing this to other people.
It's irresponsible to have created the situation you describe and this is your red flag moment to make a correction.
After that, you do you, responsibly.
 
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mistykitty

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Diaperman95 said:
gonna play gonna pay! Many of us this is our world and our biggest fear. I honestly cant imagine why anyone would want to shit them self. But I suppose it was a eye opening experience. I am not happy you was embarrassed and do not wish bad on you. But you did kinda do it to yourself. It makes sympathy a little hard. I am glad to hear that you would not normally do that around others. But if you did just have it happen it is still on you for making yourself bowel incontinent. I feel a hell a lot worse for the people you bombed. I hope you learned from it.
I never wanted messing to be part of it and I rarely do it. I don't think I became truly incontinent I think my body just learned that it's ok to use a diaper as well because when I'm undiapered I still have control. I don't deny for any reason because you're right I taught my body this knowing the risks associated. I definitely feel bad about it and learned from it but I also just wish it had never happened. Also, I wasn't asking people to feel sympathy for me in this post, I posted it because of something you mentioned in yours I wanted people to know I learned a lesson from it.
 
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mistykitty

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Reward said:
A couple of things, hindsight being 20/20 of course.

This may feel harsh but here we are.
I'm assuming you have no vehicle outside with changing supplies, right?
You shouldn't have stayed in the crowd after that happened, just walked away from everyone. Take a long walk.. whatever. There are no excuses to have not done so.
"The fire people needed to talk to us" is not a valid reason under those circumstances.
I'd have gone somewhere- anywhere- and cleaned up as best as possible instead of hanging around and then smelling up your room once back inside.

As for the future, I'd recommend you to stop voluntarily using your bedroom for this as well, the room mate has already mentioned it's an issue for them.
Get your own place if you can't stop doing this. If you can't swing having a vehicle or your own place, you shouldn't be doing this to other people.
It's irresponsible to have created the situation you describe and this is your red flag moment to make a correction.
After that, you do you, responsibly.
I have a vehicle but I only have stuff in it when I go out on outdoor trails by my house for walks during day. No one is on them so no one is impacted. Ok, maybe I should've tried to sneak away or something but they were literally asking people trying to leave the area to return. I guess in hindsight since I couldn't go on a walk I should've stayed in my car for a bit. My roommate actually rents from me this is my place but he never mentioned it impacted him until recently when i said past I meant past couple weeks had i known sooner I never would've done it. Again though i will say to you what I said to diaperman I didn't post this as a request for sympathy I posted this to let people know I learned a lesson from it.
 

mistykitty

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LadyOfTintagel said:
Ouch. I'm sorry that happened, that must have been very embarrassing.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, though. It sounds like it was an accident, which is what diapers are for. The worst the others had to experience was a bad smell.
It was an accident but it is still hard not to feel bad about it. I learned from this that maybe my body adopted this a little to well and i think i'm going to still engage in little behavior but give diapers themselves a break for a bit.
 

Reward

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It's helpful to share this as a warning to others, you're right.
I did look at some of your other posts after I responded and (following a public incident in Sept.) saw you mention having a car you were planning on having emergency cleanup supplies in.. so...


That's probably the best take away for you and others reading this later as a cautionary tale.

I realize you aren't looking for sympathy at this point and good on you to humbly share what seem like obvious mistakes you made.
I apologize for my criticism, seems like you've had a learning experience. It takes guts to share our mistakes.
 
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Diaperman95

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mistykitty said:
I never wanted messing to be part of it and I rarely do it. I don't think I became truly incontinent I think my body just learned that it's ok to use a diaper as well because when I'm undiapered I still have control. I don't deny for any reason because you're right I taught my body this knowing the risks associated. I definitely feel bad about it and learned from it but I also just wish it had never happened. Also, I wasn't asking people to feel sympathy for me in this post, I posted it because of something you mentioned in yours I wanted people to know I learned a lesson from it.
I am glad to hear that. I give you props for posting it and admitting it was not right and you feel bad. I give you more props for replying back to me.
I have had a few bad accident in crowds before myself and one in the middle of a busy Mexican restaurant I frequent very often. It's embarrassing and now maybe you can imagine what it is like having no control and every time you start to have as little as a gas pain you are trying to decide to run to the bathroom immediately or take a chance it is just gas. Often either gas or stool just comes out with little warning or like for me it just hits like instant pain that is not possible for me to hold back. I really did not mean to come down hard on you. But it is a nightmare a lot of times for us especially when we have other stomach issues too. I feel embarrassed like all hell but I also like you. I feel horrible for the people around me when it happens. I have not had a whole lot of events in public around several people because I only have been dealing with this Fecal IC for the last 3 years or so and I am very cautious about what I eat and when. I also try to take Miralx that makes me poop about the same time every morning. But you know "Shit" it happens! Sometimes my stomach just says now is the time and that is that.

I am glad to hear you have learned from it and I hope others can other do the same from your share.


It really is not cool to purposefully inflect it on others. Also as someone else stated consider putting a go begin your car or truck with supplies. That and respect the fact your roommate has to breath the same air. Shit really does linger.

I hope you have a goodnight and I respect you for coming forward and sharing with others. Also keep in mind our bodies can be trained for things to just be Reflex. You get the urge you let it go. Just be glad it was not in the breakroom at work. Please really think about what you are doing to yourself nd if it is worth it..
 

mistykitty

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Since not wearing I've seen my anxiety shoot through the roof. I think I'm going to maybe do one more week without them entirely to cement the control factor over everything again then go back to wearing but this time just wear not use. I can't handle the anxiety but I don't want to be a bother to others either.
 

Diaperman95

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mistykitty said:
Since not wearing I've seen my anxiety shoot through the roof. I think I'm going to maybe do one more week without them entirely to cement the control factor over everything again then go back to wearing but this time just wear not use. I can't handle the anxiety but I don't want to be a bother to others either.
Yeah I would not do anything to give up bowel control. So many people say well I have a hard time holding it so I just give in to the cramps and use the diaper. But the More they do it the less control they have and the more often they shit themselves. I will fight to the bitter end to hold it. Even if I have sudden urge out of no where and do not make it like earlier today. (At the house even tonight) I really did not get any in the diaper but it was filling my crack when I got them down and I had poop fall be for setting down. I might one day have zero control but it will not e because "I wanted too or gave up.
 
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