Might need to start considering alternative living situation

[mistykitty]

So while my roommate and some of my family are ok with me being transgender I'm kind of beginning to recieve some animosity from my neighbors now that it's a little more obvious to them. It has gotten to the point that I made an official amendment to my name change petition to not be required to publish about it anymore. Also, one of the the hrt meds is a diuretics to the point I've been needing wear more often but I still don't at work (since I work around food) and I think that bothers my roommate unfortunately. He was understanding about the being transgender and the hrt and was trying to be understanding about my diaper wearing/using after he learned about it but that was mainly when I could keep it to nighttime only (I do my best to only wear when he's not home now). I'm not willing to stop diapering because it helps me significantly with anxiety and I'm not willing to stop the hrt because I need that but at the same time I don't want to be a burden on my friend/roommate either. I'm kind of at a loss for what to do because though it's my place and he rents from me I do feel the need to move on now. Issue is all the stuff for this: name change, hrt, diapers, more gender appropriate clothes and stuff cost a lot so with finding a new place cost has become an issue. This situation has actually had me in tears several times already but I do want to say right now this is not a sympathy post, it's more about problem solving. I'm just not sure what to do because I can't really afford to move but at the same time I'm afraid what happens if I stay (moreso about my neighbors then my roommate). I'm looking for better jobs to help with this but though a lot of people have interviewed me they don't like the idea of having to deal with the name change (but I can't stop that process anymore it's to close to my court date). I have no friends in this area (other than my roommate) that have a place I could go and I can't really ask family for help anymore so I really don't no what to do anymore. I've kind of also resigned myself to the fact that because of my diaper use prior to the hrt that the hrt might have pushed things into the borderline incontinent area (at least for wetting) so wearing might be going into the required area instead of being occasional. I actually now have several just in case supply stashes: at home, in my vehicle, and I even have a backpack now. My court date is in April and I have a feeling that by then my welcome in my development from my neighbor's is going to wear out.

 

[Happy2BeInNappies2]

Hi @mistykitty what a pity it is that, we have to live under the shadow of other peoples disapproval.

Your not doing anything illegal or even looking to offend anyone. With all the problems that come with transitioning, you don't want negative social pressure on top of all that, plus such added difficulties only increase your living expenses.
You are just trying to be the true you. Being just who you are.

Here in Australia, trans acceptance is on the rise, (we have had our 45th annual Mardi Gras last Saturday and Sydney is also hosting World Pride), but every neighborhood is different.
I sure hope that you find a safe, affordable accommodation soon, as acceptance from your neighbors seems unlikely.

All the best with your transition, continence issues and legal proceedings.
Sorry there's no easy solution here, to your problem.

 

[mistykitty]

So just wanted to update on the situation, my control has improved with some significant effort based off advice provided from my pcp, but definitely is not where it was previously and don't know how long it will last. This luckily has made my roommate slightly less annoyed about the situation because I can wear less than I was (but to me it still feels unfair). My co-workers, roommate, and people here are showing more support for me about the being trans then anyone else including most of my family and my neighbors still aren't thrilled with the idea of living next to me anymore (some actually kind of scare me now). The main positive thing besides gaining a bit more control I can put here is that I managed to pare back some more unnecessary expenses to save more of my check and was able to negotiate additional hours at work once in a while to make a bit more so affording a place is maybe a little more possible now but I've still got plenty of other hurdles to clear first.

 

[Happy2BeInNappies2]

Thanks for the update @mistykitty good to hear that your issues are getting better, that room mate acceptance has improved and that you are able to save more.
All the best with your transition and life journey.

 

[Edgewater]

Sorry, but I do not understand what is happening, as just how do your neighbors know so much about what is happening inside your home?

And, what will the name change do, as those that seem to know, can quickly link name 'a' with name 'b'. Tax records for your property will be updated and it is no hard work to back track that paperwork. Same with your employer(s).

Wearing diapers should not bring any discord from anyone unless you are wearing only a diaper outdoors. With once again, the question of just how everyone knows, outside your home?

From a legal point, I am not sure who you are getting your advice from, but what you are doing is only costing you and not shielding you.

Best of luck...

 

[mistykitty]

Sorry, but I do not understand what is happening, as just how do your neighbors know so much about what is happening inside your home?

And, what will the name change do, as those that seem to know, can quickly link name 'a' with name 'b'. Tax records for your property will be updated and it is no hard work to back track that paperwork. Same with your employer(s).

Wearing diapers should not bring any discord from anyone unless you are wearing only a diaper outdoors. With once again, the question of just how everyone knows, outside your home?

From a legal point, I am not sure who you are getting your advice from, but what you are doing is only costing you and not shielding you.

Best of luck...

Sorry for the confusion, I sometimes have trouble putting my thoughts into words. The post is about multiple things that have become an interrelated problem. To my knowledge my neighbors may or may not know about the diapers, I usually stay to wearing in home only with those and I always have it covered with something. When I said trouble with neighbors i was refering to the fact that they don't like I'm transgender and also their was an incident I talked about in another post where they got unintentionally exposed to my being diapered (it was covered but people might have noticed) because I had to go outside one night with clothes over a diaper because their was a fire in one of the units and while waiting for permission to go back in had accident but was not allowed to leave area. Me be trans and using hrt has led to more diaper use because one of the things is a diuretic. I gained some control back but their was an extended period where the combination of the hrt stuff and wearing/using for an extended period was pushing things into the not always being able to control it area so I was wearing more which bothered my roommate that I had to buy more and wear more often. Since things have improved he is a little less frustrated. The name change is due to my being trans not due to the diapers but it still becomes interrelated to the above. What my post is essentially about is trying to problem solve with things such as cost and other stuff so i can get a new place due to the fact I don't want to be negatively impacting others and vice versa. Getting help from family and friends is not an option because aside my roommate once people learned I identified female manyy stopped talking to me or actually scare me now. To my knowledge, the only people that definitely know about the diapers and abdl stuff are myself, my roommate, and my counselor. I probably should have written the initial post either differently.

 

[Edgewater]

Sorry for the confusion, I sometimes have trouble putting my thoughts into words. The post is about multiple things that have become an interrelated problem. To my knowledge my neighbors may or may not know about the diapers, I usually stay to wearing in home only with those and I always have it covered with something. When I said trouble with neighbors i was refering to the fact that they don't like I'm transgender and also their was an incident I talked about in another post where they got unintentionally exposed to my being diapered (it was covered but people might have noticed) because I had to go outside one night with clothes over a diaper because their was a fire in one of the units and while waiting for permission to go back in had accident but was not allowed to leave area. Me be trans and using hrt has led to more diaper use because one of the things is a diuretic. I gained some control back but their was an extended period where the combination of the hrt stuff and wearing/using for an extended period was pushing things into the not always being able to control it area so I was wearing more which bothered my roommate that I had to buy more and wear more often. Since things have improved he is a little less frustrated. The name change is due to my being trans not due to the diapers but it still becomes interrelated to the above. What my post is essentially about is trying to problem solve with things such as cost and other stuff so i can get a new place due to the fact I don't want to be negatively impacting others and vice versa. Getting help from family and friends is not an option because aside my roommate once people learned I identified female manyy stopped talking to me or actually scare me now. To my knowledge, the only people that definitely know about the diapers and abdl stuff are myself, my roommate, and my counselor. I probably should have written the initial post either differently.

Thank you for the clarity, it does help!

I am assuming that your counselor is your trans counselor and if so, that person should be helping you with your anxiety as you appear to be assuming what other people are thinking and how much they know. Example: going outside at night, while wearing a diaper greatly conceals that you are wearing a diaper, add shadows and no one likely noticed. Regarding their reaction to you stating you are trans, that is a discussion you do not need to have with anyone other than those very close to you. Again, your counselor should have told you not to do that.

Name change: I am assuming that you are simply changing your first name, correct. Once again, the neighbors do not need to know as they already know you by your male name. That only adds to their confusion and likely what you are seeing /heariing. Once again, your counselor should be helping your with your anxiety.

Understand that the confrontations that exist regarding the very public reaction is because of fringe actives on both sides. Most people are unsure how to talk with you as the fringe of both groups have everyone else running for cover.

Please take a few deep breaths and release them slowly, as you are wrapping yourself within your anxieties and driving yourself a bit crazy. Please stop as this is not helping you.

 

[SashaAll4s]

So while my roommate and some of my family are ok with me being transgender I'm kind of beginning to recieve some animosity from my neighbors now that it's a little more obvious to them. It has gotten to the point that I made an official amendment to my name change petition to not be required to publish about it anymore. Also, one of the the hrt meds is a diuretics to the point I've been needing wear more often but I still don't at work (since I work around food) and I think that bothers my roommate unfortunately. He was understanding about the being transgender and the hrt and was trying to be understanding about my diaper wearing/using after he learned about it but that was mainly when I could keep it to nighttime only (I do my best to only wear when he's not home now). I'm not willing to stop diapering because it helps me significantly with anxiety and I'm not willing to stop the hrt because I need that but at the same time I don't want to be a burden on my friend/roommate either. I'm kind of at a loss for what to do because though it's my place and he rents from me I do feel the need to move on now. Issue is all the stuff for this: name change, hrt, diapers, more gender appropriate clothes and stuff cost a lot so with finding a new place cost has become an issue. This situation has actually had me in tears several times already but I do want to say right now this is not a sympathy post, it's more about problem solving. I'm just not sure what to do because I can't really afford to move but at the same time I'm afraid what happens if I stay (moreso about my neighbors then my roommate). I'm looking for better jobs to help with this but though a lot of people have interviewed me they don't like the idea of having to deal with the name change (but I can't stop that process anymore it's to close to my court date). I have no friends in this area (other than my roommate) that have a place I could go and I can't really ask family for help anymore so I really don't no what to do anymore. I've kind of also resigned myself to the fact that because of my diaper use prior to the hrt that the hrt might have pushed things into the borderline incontinent area (at least for wetting) so wearing might be going into the required area instead of being occasional. I actually now have several just in case supply stashes: at home, in my vehicle, and I even have a backpack now. My court date is in April and I have a feeling that by then my welcome in my development from my neighbor's is going to wear out.

Hi there my name is Sasha i have had to hide my being transgender from my family literally as long as i can remember. And I'm searching for a place that is safe for sissies and abdls and just anyone else that just wants to be themselves ya know. But im not sure of where those places can be located. Any advice or places you have discovered ??

 

[SashaAll4s]

Hi there my name is Sasha i have had to hide my being transgender from my family literally as long as i can remember. And I'm searching for a place that is safe for sissies and abdls and just anyone else that just wants to be themselves ya know. But im not sure of where those places can be located. Any advice or places you have discovered ??

and im sorry to hear that about your neighbors hun its shouldnt be like that honestly but the world is evil towards so many people that just want to be themselves and enjoy what they lile in life

 

[Edgewater]

Hi there my name is Sasha i have had to hide my being transgender from my family literally as long as i can remember. And I'm searching for a place that is safe for sissies and abdls and just anyone else that just wants to be themselves ya know. But im not sure of where those places can be located. Any advice or places you have discovered ??

It is not that difficult to blend into most everywhere and be safe. Only those areas that are dangerous because of open violence and a lack of general police protection, you will want to stay clear. Life Styles when out and about should conform to the community in which you live. That is just a reality of near everywhere in the world. If you want to be Up Front and In Their Face, well expect push back.

Most all communities are very safe to live, especially when you happen to be an individual that is helpful to your neighbors, kind when out and about and respectful of their world. If you want the specialty clubs, bars, etc.. That can be more dangerous these days.

 

[mistykitty]

Hi there my name is Sasha i have had to hide my being transgender from my family literally as long as i can remember. And I'm searching for a place that is safe for sissies and abdls and just anyone else that just wants to be themselves ya know. But im not sure of where those places can be located. Any advice or places you have discovered ??

I've been looking at apartment complexes and things like that but their is really no such thing perfect location because you don't know who you are going to live next to. I also think the thing with some of my neighbors is a generational thing due to the age of some of them because all of them were super nice during majority of my years here but as soon as my behaviors shifted toward being more female that sense of good neighborly bonds dissipated. I've always mostly stayed out of their way but we have a common hall so it's hard not to bump into them once in while. I also second what @Edgewater about living space as long as you show respect to neighbors around you (if you have any) hopefully they'll do the same.