Men Are Seen As Sick But Women Are Seen As Cute

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CookieMonstah

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I have been thinking about this for quite a while.

I see a lot of the time when a girl is in a relationship and tells their boyfriend that they wear diapers and want to be a baby or a little majority of the time the boyfriend will go along with it and not really have too much problems with it and may think it's cute but when a guy says it to a girl the girl will want to get rid of the diapers, not like it and lose attraction to the guy. I've seen on here cases where people tell their wives / girlfriends / close friends and they're freaked out by it but the opposite like I have seen on Instagram and even on national television programs they don't care.

For me I just find it a little bit unfair and I don't know about you people. Leave your thoughts
 

Tyger

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I have thought about this a fair amount. I think it is certainly a real issue, I suspect that it is rooted in the same problem as why it is socially difficult for a husband to be a home maker an a wife to be a breadwinner. That kind of dynamic is becoming more acceptable, but for the most part still, there are a lot of people who would look at the husband and say, "He is just being lazy and taking advantage of her."
 

43goofball43

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It is called a double standard, which happens in so many cases between the Male and Female population. Example The females ca wear really short shorts and look cute and sexy, however if a male wears the same type of shorts he would be chastised for wearing such shorts. the list just goes on and on.
 

MsClara

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I have been thinking about this for quite a while.

I see a lot of the time when a girl is in a relationship and tells their boyfriend that they wear diapers and want to be a baby or a little majority of the time the boyfriend will go along with it and not really have too much problems with it and may think it's cute but when a guy says it to a girl the girl will want to get rid of the diapers, not like it and lose attraction to the guy. I've seen on here cases where people tell their wives / girlfriends / close friends and they're freaked out by it but the opposite like I have seen on Instagram and even on national television programs they don't care.

And yet here on ADISC we regularly see women whose boyfriends have told them they are ABDLs joining to learn more and help them understand their boyfriends better... I don't remember seeing a man asking the same questions because of his girlfriend. However as I said recently in a post on another thread: lack of any really reliable statistics makes it very hard to identify genuine trends in the ABDL population and our experiences.

Looking the broader culture, women can be cute and enjoy child-like things and still be considered attractive (although wanting to wear nappies is probably pushing that envelope to tearing point tbh,) whereas men are considered attractive because of status and abilities (doesn't leave much room for being cute and vulnerable.) Does not make total sense, nor is it fair, but culturally that's the way things are right now. The good thing is that is a broad cultural consensus, and while it's what you see reflected in the media, and in a lot of what people say and the way a lot of people act, it's just a general rule and there are exceptions. There are lot of women out there who are perfectly happy to have boyfriends and husbands with a cute Little side.

For me I just find it a little bit unfair and I don't know about you people. Leave your thoughts

Reading between the lines, it seems like what you're really saying is: "I'm worried that I'm never going to find a woman who will love me and accept me because I'm an ABDL and a man, but women have it easy and it's not fair"

Forget about "the way it is for girls" - if you're not a girl that doesn't make any difference for you. You're a young guy - your generation is more informed and open-minded about "deviant" sexuality than any generation before. You might have to look a little longer, harder, or in some different places to your vanilla friends but there are women out there who aren't going to see your ABDL desires as a deal breaker, or something wrong or disgusting.
 

CookieMonstah

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It is called a double standard, which happens in so many cases between the Male and Female population. Example The females ca wear really short shorts and look cute and sexy, however if a male wears the same type of shorts he would be chastised for wearing such shorts. the list just goes on and on.

I see a lot of double standard instances on the Internet it makes me laugh and yet angry at the same time

- - - Updated - - -

And yet here on ADISC we regularly see women whose boyfriends have told them they are ABDLs joining to learn more and help them understand their boyfriends better... I don't remember seeing a man asking the same questions because of his girlfriend. However as I said recently in a post on another thread: lack of any really reliable statistics makes it very hard to identify genuine trends in the ABDL population and our experiences.

Looking the broader culture, women can be cute and enjoy child-like things and still be considered attractive (although wanting to wear nappies is probably pushing that envelope to tearing point tbh,) whereas men are considered attractive because of status and abilities (doesn't leave much room for being cute and vulnerable.) Does not make total sense, nor is it fair, but culturally that's the way things are right now. The good thing is that is a broad cultural consensus, and while it's what you see reflected in the media, and in a lot of what people say and the way a lot of people act, it's just a general rule and there are exceptions. There are lot of women out there who are perfectly happy to have boyfriends and husbands with a cute Little side.



Reading between the lines, it seems like what you're really saying is: "I'm worried that I'm never going to find a woman who will love me and accept me because I'm an ABDL and a man, but women have it easy and it's not fair"

Forget about "the way it is for girls" - if you're not a girl that doesn't make any difference for you. You're a young guy - your generation is more informed and open-minded about "deviant" sexuality than any generation before. You might have to look a little longer, harder, or in some different places to your vanilla friends but there are women out there who aren't going to see your ABDL desires as a deal breaker, or something wrong or disgusting.

It sort of is the case, the "I'm worried that I'm never going to find a woman" one, not just for me but a lot of people. Also I think you have a good point, nowadays people are more accepting of a lot of things, gay, bi, lesbian, transgender, genderfluid etc. and more and more stories are being cast in the media about ABDLs and littles so hopefully people will understand us more.
 

Calico

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Men tend to be more opened minded than women. Like it's okay for a woman to not be financially stable because a guy wouldn't have a problem with being a sugar daddy but a woman doesn't want to be a sugar momma so she would want a guy who is financially stable. I don't know why men are expected to be stronger than women so it's okay for women to be childish and be into immature things. Of course not all guys will be open minded because I have seen some closed minded ones like my ex for example and men online have told me how disgusting this whole diaper thing is.
 

Yolandi

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I'm a girl & I happened to think boys look absolutely adorable in their nappies & onesies I find it quite upsetting how boys are expected to act Manly 100% of the time. I wear my Tigger onesie around my friends and parents & they don't even bat an eyelid! But I bet if I was a boy it would be frowned upon in some way, shape, or form! Not what you would call exactly fair.
 

AlexTurnerIII

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I'm a girl & I happened to think boys look absolutely adorable in their nappies & onesies I find it quite upsetting how boys are expected to act Manly 100% of the time. I wear my Tigger onesie around my friends and parents & they don't even bat an eyelid! But I bet if I was a boy it would be frowned upon in some way, shape, or form! Not what you would call exactly fair.

I have one friend who's parents don't mind. He wears a onsie all the time. He wears child-ish onieses and all. His parents don't even look twice, never have. He also sleeps with a plushie and has childish print bed material.

I live in a pretty liberal area though, not supper on common for his parents to hold the beilifes they do. My parents happen to be from a super not liberal area, so I am not as lucky!
 

Littledaimon

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I'm a girl & I happened to think boys look absolutely adorable in their nappies & onesies I find it quite upsetting how boys are expected to act Manly 100% of the time. I wear my Tigger onesie around my friends and parents & they don't even bat an eyelid! But I bet if I was a boy it would be frowned upon in some way, shape, or form! Not what you would call exactly fair.

I wish I could wear footed pajamas in the house, even I am afraid to get one because of this, I don't think girls could have this problem :(
 

sbmccue

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There are plenty of double standards to go around. In the medical field, for example, there's the 'modesty' double standard, wherein little girls are often provided with gowns and little boys are left to their own devices. Ten thousand years ago, when our distant ancestors were still cave-dwellers, there was no double-standard at all: The men went out and killed food, leaving the women to tend the fire and the children. In some ways, we haven't really moved on much ... there's still the deep-seeded need on the part of many women to be "taken care of," and a man displaying his vulnerable or child-like side isn't well thought-of as a consequence.
 

CookieMonstah

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I'm a girl & I happened to think boys look absolutely adorable in their nappies & onesies I find it quite upsetting how boys are expected to act Manly 100% of the time. I wear my Tigger onesie around my friends and parents & they don't even bat an eyelid! But I bet if I was a boy it would be frowned upon in some way, shape, or form! Not what you would call exactly fair.

I wear childish onesies but I know my brother and father have given me some stick, I would love to go out in them and I really shouldn't care what people think but I do a bit

- - - Updated - - -

Men tend to be more opened minded than women. Like it's okay for a woman to not be financially stable because a guy wouldn't have a problem with being a sugar daddy but a woman doesn't want to be a sugar momma so she would want a guy who is financially stable. I don't know why men are expected to be stronger than women so it's okay for women to be childish and be into immature things. Of course not all guys will be open minded because I have seen some closed minded ones like my ex for example and men online have told me how disgusting this whole diaper thing is.

Yeah I didn't say all the time because I have seen some cases where men find it disgusting but it's the majority of the time they don't care
 

Yolandi

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I wear childish onesies but I know my brother and father have given me some stick, I would love to go out in them and I really shouldn't care what people think but I do a bit

If it makes you happy than why should you care about what other people may think! I personally would love to see a boy enjoying his onesie! Ridiculously adorable!
 

Zendot

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I have also thought about this a lot as well and would like to offer a different perspective:


It's debatable but I think most of us can agree that, while it is true that both genders change as we grow up from babies to adults, it seems obvious that women remain with the most baby-like features from a physical perspective.

Although it is true that women's body shape changes more drastically than men's, women don't grow visible body hair, they also keep softer skin and have softer and more rounded faces overall, as well as less body muscle and more body fat in general. As opposed to men who get harder skin, more muscles and less body fat, harder and more sharp facial features and growth of visible body hair.

So, from this perspective I believe it's safe to say that women remain physically closer and retain more of the same physical features from when we're babies. And that is why, when being portrayed as a baby, generally a woman will look cute and a man won't.


Edit to add: Besides, culturally and historically it has been expected for men to toughen up and not cry or be too emotional, while women are expected to be more sensitive and are not too frowned upon when crying or being too emotional, all characteristics that are also typical of babies and children. These are generalizations and whether they were developed because of evolution or a different reason and wether we think it's fair or unfair they have shaped our societies and how we view the opposite sex and how we expect them to behave. Fortunately we're seeing recognition of people's differences and acceptance for being different from what people might believe is the norm.
 
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SpAzpieSweeTot

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I often feel guilty for being female, because I get to be cute longer. I find bABy boys cute, lovable, and valid. I know it hurts Little guys. I'm sorry.:hug:

 

jeremyi

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Well obviously gender roles play a big part in this. A man isn't considered to be as manly if he wears diapers trying to be cute - it diminishes his masculinity in the eyes of the girl to be dependent on such a thing. While on the other hand for women as you say it is "cute" and it isn't looked at so much as an insecurity or weakness. Of course that doesn't mean there aren't women who have suffered failed relationships or other life ordeals for partaking in this fetish, or that guys have it all bad. There are different advantages and disadvantages for everyone. You just have to deal with your circumstances the best way you can. Be a man about it, accept it and problem-solve.
 
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ozbub

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Physicality, is what it is.......and it sucks. An adult anything is always going to appear odd assuming the identity of a baby, it's just that girls have an appearance which is closer to the softness of an infant. The mind is a powerful thing which is awesome, (fortunately, I always feel that I look cute in my little gear ... maybe I'm biased, but in that mindset, I'm not offended by what I see...thankfully) Having said that, I am super conscious of maintaining a suitable physique, knowing full well that it helps. I have asked my partner about this, and while initially she found it just plain weird to see me that way, she does admit that since she is learning to see me in a different way, that she can appreciate the cute factor now. (hallelujah) Still the reality remains that I'm a dude, and dudes are not supposed to be cutesie submissive types...when they are, they're labeled freaks and told to harden the [email protected]&$ up. Girls OTOH be like Oohh how sweet does she look with her cuddly teddy and cute jammies. It just another symptom of our screwed up society. One day people will stop seeing so superficially and accept the intrinsic and beautiful qualities that make us all individuals. Im going to hug my teddy now :bleh:
 

BoundCoder

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My theory: goes to social norms of attractiveness.

Cuteness is an attractive quality in girls to a lot of guys. It's not so much an attractive quality in guys to girls however (talking very general case of course). Girls (and again, generalizing) tend to like confident strong men, because that's the way nature wired us. At a primal level, men are looking for women who will make a good mother for their children, and woman are looking for a strong man to protect and provide from them. Socially we've moved way past that (to varying degrees depending on who you ask), but all the social progress we've made can't easily overcome hundreds of generations of natural selection. The instincts that kept our cavemen ancestors alive still trickle through whether we want them to or not.
 

caitianx

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I'm a girl & I happened to think boys look absolutely adorable in their nappies & onesies I find it quite upsetting how boys are expected to act Manly 100% of the time. I wear my Tigger onesie around my friends and parents & they don't even bat an eyelid! But I bet if I was a boy it would be frowned upon in some way, shape, or form! Not what you would call exactly fair.

I admit, that my carrying around my adult diapers in a blue Fisher-Price Baby Jungle Animals Diaper Bag is not very manly.
But, I really am not that masculine, despite my physical anatomy.
It seems shameful, that I want to be a helpless baby again in order to feel loved and wanted.
 

ozbub

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It seems shameful, that I want to be a helpless baby again in order to feel loved and wanted.

Shameful, yes. But not for you. Shameful that society can't accept you for just exactly who you are...and if that's someone who feels little and vulnerable...big deal...all the more reason why they should be accepting you.
 
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