Meeting others...

[NEJay]

Hey all!

I'm still relatively new here, and am still getting to know you all, and considering my favorite part of the entire diaper thing is the social aspect, I'm curious how you all stand on the subject.

I can definitely say that the social aspect (meeting others, in person) is the most enjoyable benefit of being graced with the interest of wearing diapers. I've met some really cool people over the past couple years, and formed many lifelong friendships... With people I never would've met if it weren't for the common interest of the fluffy diaper between my legs. I've met people from all backgrounds... From 40-something brain surgeons, to 18 year old students... And everyone in between. I cherish every relationship I've made since I started meeting other diaper wearers (and mommies, care-givers, participating partners, etc.).

To many, this sounds weird; Meeting up with people that share such an intimate interest. My point in this thread is two-fold... Primarily to see how you guys and gals feel about the whole "meeting up" thing, and to possibly dispel any misconceptions about what generally happens when people "meet up". There are of course many of you with no interest of meeting others, but I'm sure that there are just as many that want to, but are held back by fears that may be unfounded.

I was enamored earlier with Peachy's response regarding ABY.com (this is the "adult baby" forum, but let it be known that ABY is 18+ only) in another thread earlier, as he labeled the venue in which I've met most of the people I've met (ABY) as "old, hairy, and creepy, 100%". It is disturbing because of the fact that out of the hundreds of people I've met from there, face to face, the vast majority are 20-something, normal (and interesting ) workaday people. Sure, some of the people might have some body hair, or aren't blonde haired and blue eyed, but with the exception of one person, everyone I've met from ABY (and many other places online, and through mutual friends) has been a positive experience. When looking for friendship with like minded people, I've found that dismissing someone because of their age, body hair, physical stature, etc., only limits the amount of true friends you can have.

ABY aside, many people have reasons for meeting up with others, and many have reasons not to. I'd love to hear where you all stand, and if I could, educate you all on some of the common misconceptions of what meeting others is all about... At least in my experience.

So... Are you the 22 year old that has been wanting to meet others for years, but is scared out of your wits? Are you the social butterfly that jets to all the major parties? Are you happy with doing the diaper thing alone? Or are you something else?

Thanks in advance for the discourse, and if I can answer any questions you might have, I'd love the opportunity.

Cheers!

 

[IncompleteDude]

I've met the majority of ABDLs in my immediate area, and absolutely some are old, hairy and creepy guys, but there are also a great many young and normal people. Even some of the creepy guys are not that bad once you get to know them; I mean some are genuine perverts, and others are just socially awkward. Anyways, I do expect to continue meeting abdls, and have great fun doing it.

Also, aby.com has been a tremendous help in meeting people.

 

[CarKid]

I've met like 5 people off of this site, and I'm always looking to meet more. I'm friends with all of them and had a great time. Its just so hard to find someone that you trust and they trust you enough to actually meet up.

~Johnathon~

 

[ayanna]

I haven't met anyone from ADISC, or even aby.com...well...I did meet a couple people that I know on aby.com but I met them elsewhere first (actually, one guy I met at work hahaha) Anyway, I have had very positive experiences with meeting other *BDLs...and a few not so positive (one in particular). Depends on the circumstances, the people in question, and whether or not you get references! hehehe

 

[quattrus]

I've never had a meeting with anyone I found through DL-related websites. And, to tell you the truth, it makes me feel quite envious to read about how someone's been deeply enjoying the social aspects of diapers, a side on which for sure I've missed out, at least till now.

Not that I wouldn't like to meet likeminded people, and not that I didn't receive meetup offers from the other sites I go to. The main problem is in me. First, I'm really very picky when it comes to dl-related friendships, especially 'cos people who know me from a DL site know me by one of the most intimate aspects of my personality. I've actually chatted with a couple of guys from my area who, apart from being interested in the DL thing, have many common interests with me, including professional ones, and we had long, interesting and level-headed conversations via msn (intelligence, wittyness and a charming way to express themselves are for me among the main aspects which stimulate trust and social attraction towards someone).

The main fears that kept me from meeting other people in my area are 1) to let someone associate my "public" self, I mean, the face and person anyone knows me for, with the DL part of me, and the consequential possible information spreading if the said person in a second time revealed himself to be a major a-hole; 2) to meet a creepy weirdo that I don't like a tiny bit and I'd have a hard time getting off my ass, and... 3), yeah, sometimes I really feel like i've "been wanting to meet others for years, but i'm scared out of my wits" - but, after all, this leads me back to the consideration about being picky on people

With that said, I wouldn't give a second thought about meeting someone I got to know here, because this forum is a great filter against pervyness and allows people to get to know themselves in a quite accurate way, of course it's a whole other story for other sites, where you start getting a ton of not-so-elegant comments and proposals as soon as you upload a picture in the gallery.....

 

[ballucanb]

The only people I met were from this site, Johnaton, and drew, and I can say I had a good time.

You do not need to do anything diaper related, to have a good time, just meeting new people with someone in common is alot of fun.

Talk to them first get to know them alittle before you committ to a meeting of any kind, then use your gut feeling if it dosn't feel comfortable to you, just leave.

 

[CarKid]

Exactly Bee on not needing to do anything ab/dl related. Its all about making friends that have common interests with you, not about the diapers or what not.

 

[Lowie]

I've never had a meeting with anybody off any site cept for an unexpected meetup with a guy I know from this 4x4ing site I visit.. the meetup was quiet unexpected since we were at the mudbogs and the guy just so happened to be driving in it... (gotta stop ranting..)

I might be quiet and shy but if I ever do have a meetup with somebody, I'd still try to have a good time with them

 

[Ace]

I did meet up with one other person that I met through one of these forums, I forget which one. It went pretty well, he was about my age, we were both in college at the time and he went to school about an hour away from me. He was definatly a nice guy, the first time we met up we met at a hiking trail that he knew about in the Adirondacks, we hiked a few miles to a nice secluded mountain lake. Probably would have been better to meet in a coffee shop, but he wasn't a wierdo or anything, actually quite a nice guy.

The second time we met, we went to his house one night when he had it to himself. That was a lot of fun, we actually swam in his pool in just diapers. The third time, and the last time I've seen him we went to see a movie, I think we saw zodiac. That was a pretty cool time, that was the first time I ordered any X-pluses and they had arrived that very day. We did each wear diapers each time we met, but aside from the time at his pool, that was the only time i'd even seen him in them. We didn't change each other or really anything else. It was more or less just two college guys doing wholesome activities.

Sadly, I've lost his contact info and I haven't been good about staying in touch, so I don't really know if he still is in the area or not or what happened to him, I know I'd love to get together again.

 

[NEJay]

Exactly Bee on not needing to do anything ab/dl related. Its all about making friends that have common interests with you, not about the diapers or what not.

I guess I underestimated you guys. :smile:

I can't count on both hands how many discussions I've had with people looking to hang out, but have the misconception that it's some sort of all-out diaper melee. I expected to see that type of response here, too.

Like several people have said here, it's pretty much the exact opposite. I have several ABDL friends that I've known for years, and I've never even seen them in a diaper. Additionally, with the exception of AB play (storytimes, kid games, etc.) at a few parties I've attended, meetups are nothing more than what one would do with their non-ABDL friends.

Good to see there are others here that share my enjoyment of being social in diapers, and are safe doing so.:thumbsup:

 

[Notsorandom]

I guess I underestimated you guys. :smile:

I can't count on both hands how many discussions I've had with people looking to hang out, but have the misconception that it's some sort of all-out diaper melee. I expected to see that type of response here, too.

Like several people have said here, it's pretty much the exact opposite. I have several ABDL friends that I've known for years, and I've never even seen them in a diaper. Additionally, with the exception of AB play (storytimes, kid games, etc.) at a few parties I've attended, meetups are nothing more than what one would do with their non-ABDL friends.

Good to see there are others here that share my enjoyment of being social in diapers, and are safe doing so.:thumbsup:

Well NEJay, I've met just 3 from this site, only 2 local. I think in general people on this site are more or less ok. However, obviously, there are many more people for a given area on other sites.

First point. You might notice the lack of a location in my profile. Or the lack of friends on my profile. Or the lack of well...ANYTHING in my profile. Long story short, I have absolutely no desire to be outed or tracked down by weirdos. And frankly, meeting people off of the net is awkward and creepy enough just in and of itself, that adding something like this to the mix is just...I don't like to do it. If I did, I would have already probably met you face to face. Yes, I'm local to you, and jeez, good luck trying to figure out where.

Second, I hear about large gatherings in my area on other sites all the time. And while I've never been to one, this is the impression I get of them. Let's take the word straight from the messengers mouth then:

"I'm hosting another **** area diaper party on Saturday, September 20th. Usually, about 35 - 40 people attend. If you .... and are SURE you want to attend (can get there, won't chicken out and take a place away from someone else as space is limited), please email me.

Uusually Miss ____ reads story books to the AB's, people get to compare diapers, network, make new friends and see cherished diaperpals who travel from near and far to attend, watch diaper vids, do some diaper changing, have a drink, etc. It is NOT a sex party."

Oh good, not a sex party. Just a party with 40 complete strangers (to me) who are engaging in wearing and using diapers, acting like complete babies, changing diapers, watching diaper vids (porn?), "comparing diapers" (??!??), oh, and all while in the presence of alcohol.For a compete first timer, who is not comfortable with all AB activities, that's about as creepy and sketchy as you could possibly word it. I did not attend that party...and I'm really, really glad I didn't. Show me an event that's like a bdsm munch, where its a safe, social environment with groundrules and, well, some freaking tact for crying out loud, and maybe I'll go to such an event. Show me an event that sounds like a bunch of old, perverted men (not people my age) acting like drunk, regressed babies, and I'll pass, thanks.

 

[Zeit]

I wouldn't mind meeting up with people into this sort of thing and I have considered it every so often but it comes down to the fact that I'm not the most social person in the world.

I'm mostly scared about the idea that there might be someone on here that I know in person. I realize that sounds a bit hypocritical but it's just that I'd rather not know if that does happen to be. I'm sure I'd meet new people and be able to relate to them but... I'd rather not let the social aspect of this become more linked to my social life. I don't discourage others from doing it, by all means have fun.

I'm just weird like that. Maybe if I met someone in my city on neutral ground it'd be interesting but not yet, I need to get more active on the forum and make a few friends first.

 

[FluffyFluffers]

I don't mind meeting people. (Go over that when I met my furry friends at a convention.) And I belong to another forum where meets are a regular event(at least one a month) So I'm quite social.

 

[Peachy]

Like several people have said here, it's pretty much the exact opposite. I have several ABDL friends that I've known for years, and I've never even seen them in a diaper. Additionally, with the exception of AB play (storytimes, kid games, etc.) at a few parties I've attended, meetups are nothing more than what one would do with their non-ABDL friends.

That's the only AB meetings I've ever been to. I mean I've organized to meetings for ADISC members, and both of them went just like that - we did what people would do with their non-ABDL friends too. However, those meetings aren't announced publicly, or at least the people who are allowed to attend will either know each other already or will be carefully screened.
So the more public a meeting is, the less safe it'll be.

Oh good, not a sex party. Just a party with 40 complete strangers (to me) who are engaging in wearing and using diapers, acting like complete babies, changing diapers, watching diaper vids (porn?), "comparing diapers" (??!??), oh, and all while in the presence of alcohol.For a compete first timer, who is not comfortable with all AB activities, that's about as creepy and sketchy as you could possibly word it.

Generally, I don't have a problems with parties like that. Your description seems to stress the negative points rather than the positive ones. Surely, there are people who would enjoy a party where actual AB/DL activities take place. It's just a different setting as the "Meet and Greets". I do, however, agree that parties like that would be pretty scary for first timers.
At the end of the day, it's a matter of what and who you're comfortable with. I have been to AB meetings with more than 50 people (in fact, I helped organizing them), but those were mostly of the type NEJay was talking about, and the most AB activities we'd do is sit around in our sleepers at night.

Meeting other AB/DL/TB is not necessarily a bad thing. However, it requires planning and knowing your own limits, and it requires common sense to know who you can trust, and it always includes a backup plan in case things go wrong. At the end of the day, most people who've met other AB/DL/TB will tell you that it's a lot more fun than just endulging in AB/DL/TB activities at home locked away from the rest of the world. Humans need social interaction!

Peachy

 

[ballucanb]

I don't think I would go for one of those partys, I wouldn't mind meeting people who are wearing, but I don't want to be involved in changing diapers for anyone but myself.

I like my privacy, and I respect others privacy also........

 

[NEJay]

Well NEJay, I've met just 3 from this site, only 2 local. I think in general people on this site are more or less ok. However, obviously, there are many more people for a given area on other sites.

First point. You might notice the lack of a location in my profile. Or the lack of friends on my profile. Or the lack of well...ANYTHING in my profile. Long story short, I have absolutely no desire to be outed or tracked down by weirdos. And frankly, meeting people off of the net is awkward and creepy enough just in and of itself, that adding something like this to the mix is just...I don't like to do it. If I did, I would have already probably met you face to face. Yes, I'm local to you, and jeez, good luck trying to figure out where.

Why would I try to figure out where you are? It's obvious that you definitely don't embrace the same aspects of this interest as I do, so what benefit would it be to me to "track you down"? Regardless, I tend to associate with people that have a much more positive attitude, and wish to do more with the ABDL scene. If I had known you were from around here, and were an adult, at the very most, I would've sent you a PM saying hi. I rarely do this though, as most times when I've met people, they've beaten me to the punch.

Second, I hear about large gatherings in my area on other sites all the time. And while I've never been to one, this is the impression I get of them. Let's take the word straight from the messengers mouth then:

"I'm hosting another **** area diaper party on Saturday, September 20th. Usually, about 35 - 40 people attend. If you .... and are SURE you want to attend (can get there, won't chicken out and take a place away from someone else as space is limited), please email me.

Uusually Miss ____ reads story books to the AB's, people get to compare diapers, network, make new friends and see cherished diaperpals who travel from near and far to attend, watch diaper vids, do some diaper changing, have a drink, etc. It is NOT a sex party."

I'm sure that would be TinyTroy, who has been hosting dinners out, beach parties, pot-lucks, and the like, for the better part of 20 years. To my knowledge, every event has been a positive one, and that is probably why people have returned from as far away as New Zealand for subsequent gatherings. Sure, he's a little forward (and detailed) with his messages, but I think that stems from his experience hosting these events, and the fact that he does pretty much the same thing (event coordinating) on a global scale for work.

He's good at what he does... You could joke and say that his picture is under the definition of "social butterfly".

Oh good, not a sex party. Just a party with 40 complete strangers (to me) who are engaging in wearing and using diapers, acting like complete babies, changing diapers, watching diaper vids (porn?), "comparing diapers" (??!??), oh, and all while in the presence of alcohol.For a compete first timer, who is not comfortable with all AB activities, that's about as creepy and sketchy as you could possibly word it. I did not attend that party...and I'm really, really glad I didn't. Show me an event that's like a bdsm munch, where its a safe, social environment with groundrules and, well, some freaking tact for crying out loud, and maybe I'll go to such an event. Show me an event that sounds like a bunch of old, perverted men (not people my age) acting like drunk, regressed babies, and I'll pass, thanks.

Totally off base. There is no porn being shown. Ever. People like to talk about and compare diapers, especially when new ones come out. I've traded some of mine at past events, with people that visit from abroad, for diapers we don't get here... Like Tena Maxis and Harmony Powers from Germany. No harm in that.

First timers are almost always required to meet with him in a public place before attending any event at his house (and ALWAYS are for anything I plan). This is done to ensure that everyone is comfortable, safe, and that there is no clash in personalities. When I met him back in 2004, we met up for a good dinner in downtown Boston... He obliged to tell me all about what goes on, what he's done in the past, and so forth. I found it utterly fascinating, and it was real cool that he was nice enough to take the time to hang out, and at the same time be so outspoken and friendly.

There are plenty of rules... Some are definitely iterated to new people (like coming dressed appropriately, no #2, respecting others' space, not propositioning people for diaper changes, etc.), and some are not, because they are common sense. Only adults attend these events, and it goes without saying that you should keep your hands to yourselves, act appropriately, drink in moderation (if one chooses to partake at all... Usually the majority don't drink), come clean, showered, and not stinky, and so forth.

I'm sorry to hear that you cannot associate with anyone aside for your age group, and think that all older people are "perverts" by default. While the vast majority of the people at the 40 or so events I've attended or planned myself have been well under 30, I actually enjoy the company of most of the older folk (there are a few that I just don't have much in common with, but I have absolutely no problem with them being part of the same pool of friends). They are frequently the ones offering the most interesting and engaging conversation.

I'll give you a quick rundown of an event I attended at his home three weekends ago...

My partner and I met up with several AB friends that came up from NYC earlier in the day, walked around Boston and did some shopping, and then early afternoon went to TinyTroy's home. It was planned as a pot-luck dinner night, and about 30 people attended... Youngest being 18, oldest around 50, and the majority between 20 and 25. About 1/3 the people attending were dressed in AB clothing, 1/3 in normal street clothes, and the last in just a diaper and shirt (there is NEVER an expectation as to what to wear or do... Many are perfectly fine running around in just a diaper, and many choose to stay in street clothes... Whatever one is comfortable with. You don't even have to wear diapers if you want.).

We had a fantastic dinner (several pasta dishes, steak tips wrapped in bacon, a few sides, and lots of munchies and desserts) of what everyone contributed, and spent the rest of the night conversing among each other, and did a pretty cool trivia game later in the evening (with a few diaper related prizes). I met a new (to me) guy that came from the UK, and must've spent two hours shooting the breeze about our VWs... Something both of us are very interested in. Most everyone had left by 12, but my partner and I stayed a little while later with a few others to have a few cocktails, and then took a taxi to our hotel downtown.

The next day, we woke up and met up with a few others downtown for brunch, did some more walking around and shopping on Newbury street and Faneuil, and went to dinner at the Barking Crab on the waterfront before parting ways.

All in all a fun weekend, and definitely the antithesis of your description.

I appreciate the fact that you have no interest in socializing with others in the ABDL scene, but please respect those that do, and don't spread misinformation about something you've never experienced.

Uh... By the way, pleased to meet you too.

I don't think I would go for one of those partys, I wouldn't mind meeting people who are wearing, but I don't want to be involved in changing diapers for anyone but myself.

I like my privacy, and I respect others privacy also........

And that is probably the biggest "rule" I was told when I first met people that had been doing the party thing for years. To quote... "Serious discretion must be used. If you are not sure how someone will respond, don't ask to be changed, and don't offer to change someone."

I've heard this has been an issue with the larger events, like Diaperfest and the like, I have yet to see this issue come up in my presence. Sure, people change each other all the time, but only when it is a mutual decision between friends. I've also never been to a party where there wasn't a private area to change yourself (with the obvious exception of trips out and about).

 

[FullMetal]

I have met with only 1 person, and he was from this site. We had a really good time. It was a bit weird at first but we got through that and we became more comfortable around each other, we even changed each others diapers (that was fun )We saw a movie, and pretty much talked. It was like a normal hangout...just with some diapers involved. If he were to have stayed in the area I am sure we would have hung out more but, no such luck and he moved. Anyway, I am always interested in meeting new people DL or not; but, if they are from a site, I would have to extensively talk to them and get to know them for just a bit longer here, then meet in the real world.

FullMetal

 

[Maverick]

I don't think I'd ever meet anyone any time soon. I'm only fifteen, and I don't get out of the house much. Mom would be suspicious if I were suddenly going somewhere. I don't have a car, and I can't drive.

Possibly, when I'm an adult I'll meet up with other AB/DLs. I'm very shy and quiet in real life; I'm not really a "party animal." I guess it would be cool to meet some of my friends that I've made on this site. Definitely in the future, though. Like when I'm in college.

 

[TallestBabyEver]

I have met with only 1 person, and he was from this site. We had a really good time. It was a bit weird at first but we got through that and we became more comfortable around each other, we even changed each others diapers (that was fun )We saw a movie, and pretty much talked. It was like a normal hangout...just with some diapers involved. If he were to have stayed in the area I am sure we would have hung out more but, no such luck and he moved. Anyway, I am always interested in meeting new people DL or not; but, if they are from a site, I would have to extensively talk to them and get to know them for just a bit longer here, then meet in the real world.

FullMetal

LOL it was a fun time, but im not gone for good mind you .

Best way is to hop into the IRC chat room and get to know some people. That's what me and FullMetal did and we talked a good long time before we met just to make sure things went okay. I've met up with one other person on this site and although was a little unplanned, was an overall success. Still a great time and definitely hope to find more in the area (hint hint).

 

[CarKid]

Still a great time and definitely hope to find more ......... (hint hint).

Pfft, you are impossible to meet up with.............:laugh:

~Johnathon