Maybe A Goodbye?

[Tommy]

Heya, as some may know...i admited to my mother about this nappy fetish thing.

She caught me with baby nappies a while back, then she thought i had stopped. We were having a conversation last night about it, and i said what would you say if i carried on doing this? and you just let me do it?

She replied saying she would have to take me to a specialist

The other day the new dining room chairs had broke, so my mother was looking for the recept...as you can guess she was looking through the bags in the big bin outside. She found a nappy, and said to me she is glad i am throwing them away, thinking it was a good stop (off course i threw it away as it had been used )

Then she said how she gets worries, and wants to tell someone else as she doesn't have a clue what to do !

What shall i do? try hard to stop? just lay low? keep sneaking about?

 

[PupKommodore]

Just try to explain to explain to her the whole *B/DL thing, and maybe she'll understand. That's the best I can think of.

 

[Lone_Wolf]

i say try to keep a low profile and don't bring nappies in bulk to the house just try to keep 2-3 at max and if you have a garage try to hide the rest of them in their and don't go to the garage contently or they might think you are hiding them in their.

 

[Mr Alex]

Hide them VERY WELL!

 

[Dawes]

Your mother, Corky, sounds immensely concerned, and likewise, she sounds like a parent that is genuinely worried.

I believe that it's natural for a parent to look at the peculiarities of their child and question where those actions come from -- they want to know if they had done anything wrong, had done anything that could have inadvertently caused this behavior, and it's one of the few times until you become a full-fledged adult where you're the one who has the ability to help your mother feel better.

It might merit a conversation that you start -- an offer to sit down and talk to her, to eloquently express yourself (not necessarily your interests, as sometimes that can get a little too deep), and let her know that you're the same boy she raised and that she did an a very good job of it (if she did)! Sometimes, parents need this kind of assurance -- let her know how responsible you are with your interest, and that you are sure to keep it a healthy and private experience.

And what's so wrong with going to see a specialist? Honestly, if I had the option of going when I was a child, I would have, just to see if there could be more professional definition to the mindset. That, and who knows, you could find someone who could even more easily explain to your mother that this isn't a harmful habit. Maybe even suggest that, if it would make her feel better, you'd like to try to go to one that you both choose.

You hear horror stories about people going to therapists or specialists, but the truth is, not everything is always that bad -- ever notice how the only ones who seem to have awful times at a specialist are the ones who say they have awful times with their parents? They're also the ones who are likely irresponsible with their interest and aren't willing to hear any outside expression about it, either.

Just make sure you talk to your mother -- if she sounds like the kind of cool lady that you make her sound like, I think she's going to be very happy to see you willing to work with her and help her find her comfort with the knowledge.

 

[ShippoFox]

Hmmm.... if you get a good therapist, then it could all turn out well. It seems like she's genuinely concerned and doesn't understand (rather than the usual irrational anger and misunderstanding) I just don't know how many crappy therapists are out there. I've never been to one before (Except the counselor in elementary school.) I can certainly understand wanting to be more covert instead though. If you can, then do that. Try to learn new ways to hide things and new ways to dispose of your trash.

 

[g6s]

i'm sorry you're going through this... but everyone has summed it up very nicely. she sounds like she means well, and she probably doesn't know exactly how much this kind of thing means to you. having a discussion with her could help, or showing her websites and trying to explain exactly how many like-minded people there are out there would be a good start. i've seen a lot of nasty threads where many counselors are mean about this subject. if you do end up going and you have a psych like that: i advise you implore your mother to find a new one.

we're always here for you man

 

[whitefox]

Wow, your story sounds a bit like mine, only except I brought up the subject first, and then was caught. My mom was a bit worried, but wanted to take me to a counselor so I could "talk it out" or something like that. I ended up going a week after I first explained my situation, and after I was caught (about half-a-year to a year later). While it wasn't completely dreadful (talking one-on-one), it was quite boring and repetitive (the conversation got nowhere, and I hated talking to a short old man about that subject).

Anyway, my advice, from personal experience, is to not do anything - for a very long time. If you think you can get away with it, make sure there's some way you can dispose of the trash (as in, outside of the house, possibly in a dumpster nearby or something), but I would highly reccomend you do nothing until you talk it over a bit more with your mom, as Rance suggested.

Whatever you happen to do, good luck, and remember, your mom really does have your best intrest in mind... it just gets a bit skewed sometimes (that rhymed!).

 

[Gingy]

if you want her to understand, I would show her this website I found things out about myself that I didn't even know!

 

[Raccoon]

I like going with the therapist. So long as they get that a fetish is almost certainly here to stay and that your in particular is of no harm in and of itself. The therapist will be interested in whether regression is a defence mechanism to cope with trauma, and if so what that trauma is. (Molestation? Bullying? Marital dischord between parents?) Remember, a therapist can't help unless they understand you, understand your issues, and are decent at their job (which is not a given.) It is scary to face seeing one; you might fear they will try to change you, or will discover something "wrong with you."

The issue is in the open and from what you said your mom is just being a responsible parent. Maybe you could sit her down and tell her that you are into this in the same way as some people like to wear leather (or see other people wearing leather) and having a fetish is a common thing even if the fetish itself is unusual (and, by itself, harmless.)
Charlie said he has articles from the old forum... You might google "paraphillic infantilism" and see if you can find literature to give your mom to reassure her.



That said I wholeheartedly recommend the website Me: p suggested. http://understanding.infantilism.org/

 

[Eclipse]

First of all I want to say I am sorry for the hardship you are going through at this time but trust me things will get better in time. I would say fulfill your mothers your wishes and go see a therapist. I was in a similar situation when I was much younger(14), and went to see several therapist, including one who specialized in fetishes which was the last one I saw.
Just have a talk with your mom saying you be willing to try it, but let her know that most likely this is not going to change who you are. Once you like something whether it is a fetish or not, someone is not going to change what they like, from someone else wanting or trying to get them to change even when it is from professional help, because it is part of who they are. There is no magical cure for us to make us stop liking diapers, its just the way we are, just like gay people are gay because it is who they are, and just like someone likes pizza because it is part of their personality and what they like. The therapist is just there to help you sort things out to keep it from interfering with your life negatively. Try to stay in touch if you can, but do not sacrifice your well being or family if you need to take a break from here please do, but I hope that you come back if this is goodbye.
The reason I have these views is because the last therapist I saw was Psychologist that specialized in fetishes so therefore he knew more about them than your average psychologist. When I went to this guy, I asked him one day, what can you do to help me stop liking them and he said..."Well there is no actual thing I can do to change what you like, it is part of who you are, it is the way your brain is wired. There is contraversies on whether it is born with or developed in childhood from an expeirance. Either way it is part of your brain imprint, just like your finger print is a special design and going to stay that way, theres no medication or process that is going to change you permantly, all I can do is teach you how to manage it so it does interfere with your academic, social and family life." I never went back after that because I had it under control and was not effecting my life besides the fact my family was having a hard time accepting in the beginning. It is good your mother cares for you, just fufill her wish so it will help her better understand too. Just make sure you go to an actual psycologist with a doctor degree instead of some unknowledgable social worker or therapist, because of the time they have not even heard of it. Some Doctor Psychologist have not even heard of it before.

Good Luck and feel free to post with any other qeustions!

 

[Raccoon]

Eclipse wrote good advice above; and he has been there, I haven't so his advice is worth that bit more. I have taken the liberty of distilling his main points below:

1. Just have a talk with your mom saying you be willing to try it, but let her know that most likely this is not going to change who you are.
2. The therapist is just there to help you sort things out to keep it from interfering with your life negatively.
3. Make sure the therapist is up to speed on the topic. Ask him: how much do you know about this? What are your personal views on it?
4. It is good your mother cares for you, just fulfill her wish so it will help her better understand too.
5.Just make sure you go to an actual psychologist/psychiatrist and not a social worker or "therapist"

And I repeat, the site Me mentioned http://understanding.infantilism.org/ is an excellent source of information, including pre-written docs to put under parents' noses

 

[Tommy]

thanks everyone