may he rest in peace

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skinnypuppy

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Today I met the world's nicest peach. His body was smooth, almost hairless, and a generous mix of brilliant yellow and deep red. His only clothing was a small oval label announcing his name, Orchard Perfect. Although it seems a strange name, it curiously fit him very well. His stem was still in place, nicely recessed in an otherwise plump body, which itself was soft and inviting of intimacy. I spent time caressing it sensuously, and even gave it a quick bath.

I said a quick prayer with him, in German.

Once I had his confidence and cooperation, I kissed him.

Then I placed my teeth (all three of them) on his skin and pressed down. A little bit of his nectar seeped out. The taste was exquisite, and I told him so. He squeaked.

I continued caressing him, now with my tongue, then with my teeth again, until a small section of his skin and flesh separated from his body. I tried to comfort him, saying that I'd help him heal, but I knew in my hypocritical mind that I was lying through the aforementioned teeth. :(

The taste and texture of what I had just bitten off began to drive me to a frenzy, and I started biting off more. The juice covered my face, only serving to drive me further mad, and pretty soon I had removed half of his body. His core laid naked in my hand, and I worshipped it with my mouth, kissing it and sucking all its juice and flesh off. I calmed down a little after that, slowing my consumption rate, and I savored the other half of his flesh peacefully and reverently.

Once I had finished, I repeated the prayer.

Now a memoir of the occasion, almost a eulogy:

Orchard Perfect, you were the cat's meow of peaches, and I will always remember you fondly. You gave yourself cheerfully and lovingly for the pleasure of a mere mortal, and your core will be laid to rest in a place that will hopefully allow your memory to be revered by succeeding generations. Meanwhile, your sibling awaits his master, in the same fruit basket wherein I first made your acquaintance. I hope he is as enthusiastic as you were ;)

May you rest in peace.
 
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Mesmerale

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.... Ewwww...

*not sure if I'll be able to each peaches anymore..* =P
 

Maxicoon

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Skinny you just made my skin crawl.
 

Kokuei

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Someone likes their peaches WAY WAY WAY too much and has WAYYYYYYYYYY too much free time on their hands. (but then again i have dun odd stuff like this with my spare time too)
 

skinnypuppy

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Actually, this was the first peach in many years that I have been able to enjoy. Mostly the ones I have bought have been dry and mealy. So I thought I'd express my deep appreciation.
 

Peachy

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Well, Kevintje once made a photo story of how he devoured a peach. It was cruel, to say the least!

I shall now commence to form the PLO - Peaches Liberation Organization! Everyone join today!

Peachy
 

EmmEmmThree

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1245793426249.jpg
 

adaffme149

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Well, Kevintje once made a photo story of how he devoured a peach. It was cruel, to say the least!

I shall now commence to form the PLO - Peaches Liberation Organization! Everyone join today!

Peachy

Select Case Humor()
Case "Crocker":
LEAVE PEACHES ALOONEEEEE!!!!
Case "PETA":
DON'T YOU HEAR THEIR JUICY SCREAMS!? You MONSTER!
Case "None":
This is not the story for you.
End Select

But seriously :laugh:, that story, was like, "Wow... Am I truly reading this? His mind must be really fascinating to write something like this." It was amusing to me, while at the same time, horrifying in the personification you drafted unto the peach. Seriously, haha. Well, I guess this was an interesting twist to my day. Dunno if I can ever eat a fruit the same way. But, I'm sure the fruit is in a better place now... *Thinks about where peach most likely is now* ... I take that back. Haha.

Either way, it was thoroughly interesting for you to think of something that way. Very unique way to look at things. :D

Also, was haben Sie im Deutsch gesagte?
 

Siege89

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Haha wow, In my mind I could really see you eating that peach :)

truly epic post :)
 
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I'll tell the next peach you eat to use a condom before interaction with you next time.
 

diaperbobby

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I agree, that was an excellent description of eating a peach! Peaches are my favorite fruit, too, but way too many of the store-bought ones are dry and mealy. Thanks for the good post.
 

dogboy

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Ah....the succulent peach! Nicely done said writer.

I remember when I was right out of college and had my 2nd job, at a large church in Ohio. They had a great camping program for both their senior highs, and juniors. My boss, the head music director, took me to the week long camp in his late 60s Pontiac, a huge wide tracking car. The camp was an hour and a half drive, past Canton and deep into the country. Camp Aldersgate was located on a lake, had many cabins and a main building, a cafeteria and outdoor play area with volleyball courts, basketball and tether ball. On the lake were boats. None of the buildings were air conditioned, and camp was in early August.

My boss insisted on stopping on the way at an orchard that had peaches. He bought a lot of them. I didn't realize what treasured prizes those would be. We had three choir rehearsals every day, activities down at the lake in the afternoon, and choir rehearsal and activities in the evening. It was extremely tiring and demanding. At the end of the first day I was hot, tired, and worn out. He took the bag of peaches out of the fridge and got a knife. Carefully, he peeled one of those peaches and handed it to me. In the hot humid August night air, I bit into what had to be the best peach I ever ate, or ever would eat for the rest of my life. It was always hot, both day and night; the thirst that hot moldy buildings produced in it's desperate campers. In answer to those torrid conditions, those peaches were sent from heaven. Like Skinnypup's, they were juicy and tender, not too tender as to be mushy, nor too hard. The juice was almost unimaginable.

And so on those hot nights, with the sounds of the cicadas in the woods, the smell of leaf and lake, we sat and enjoyed what had to be God's gift to primitive man. The choir director, my boss, became like a second father to me. In fact, he hooked my up with one of the post college girls at the church, the one who would eventually become my wife. He eventually died from a heart attach. His son, who became a good friend would die in his mid 20s from cancer. How can I eat a peach and not think of him, and his son Jack, two beautiful people?
 

bobbyjeff

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Movin to the country gonna eat a lot of peaches
Im movin to the country Im gonna eat me a lot of peaches
Im movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of peaches
Peaches come from a can they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way Id eat peaches everyday
Sun soakin bulges in the shade

Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of peaches
Im movin to the country gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin to the country gonna eat a lot of peaches

I took a little nap where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you woman
I poked my finger down inside makin a little room for a ant to hide
Natures candy in my hand or can or a pie

Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free
Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free

Look out

Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free
Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free

Look out
 

Wegs

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I'm cracking up a bit.
Not quite what I had in mind :p
 
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