Mate finds diapers unsexy

perlFerret

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Diaper Lover, Diaperfur, Little
I've been married for five years and our sex life is great. I am sensitive to my partner's needs and preferences and I'm very aware that she finds diapers to be a turn-off. I'm fine with that - sex is about us, not just me. However, I'd like to start wearing diapers at night because I hate getting up to pee in the cold winter, lol. Is this an intractable problem? Should I even bring it up? I don't want to jeopardize the good thing we have going here over something silly like this. Thanks!
 

PCBaby

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If your wife/partner finds nappies a turn off I can hardly see her being pleased when you start using them, even if it is only to wet at night. Also whilst wetting a nappy sounds easy in men it isn't, our plumbing system is designed to work when we sit or stand, it is almost impossible for a continent male to pee laying down on their front, side or back, Equally sitting on the edge of the bed probably won't let you pee either. So your other option is to get out of bed, stand there like a naughty boy and deliberately wet yourself. Save the expense, use the bathroom.
 

Electrically

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I've been married for five years and our sex life is great. I am sensitive to my partner's needs and preferences and I'm very aware that she finds diapers to be a turn-off. I'm fine with that - sex is about us, not just me. However, I'd like to start wearing diapers at night because I hate getting up to pee in the cold winter, lol. Is this an intractable problem? Should I even bring it up? I don't want to jeopardize the good thing we have going here over something silly like this. Thanks!
I kinda am with you on the night time Convenience aspect. However I am going to bet that she will not respond well to it. However if you try hard you can definitely wet easily while laying down and if you use good diapers you won’t leak. I got to the point a few times when I wasn’t sure if I woke up or not (which is a little scary and exciting) I definitely found though I like having a choice to wear diapers.
 

KitsuneFox

* Yip *
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I have bladder leaking issues 💧 , so it may just be my plumbing ... keep that in mind please.

If you are going to force yourself to pee laying down, make sure you have bed pads in case of leaks. It can take a lot of practice to be able to urinate every time you try - and I mean a lot of practice.

1: make sure Mr Winkey is positioned so that he is facing the most padding. Often times he can slip to the sides, which may cause everything to go out the leg cuffs.
2: wait until you have a very strong urge to go.
3: take a deep breath, hold it, and force the pressure, using your stomach muscles, to your bladder area.
4: keep steady pressure, even if you feel "something" happening .
5: let off pressure once you can feel urine coming out and being absorbed by your diaper.
6: * DO NOT FLOOD * Cut yourself off if you feel like you may be in danger of overflowing.

Do not be disappointed if nothing happens the first few times you try. ;)
 

Electrically

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I have bladder leaking issues 💧 , so it may just be my plumbing ... keep that in mind please.

If you are going to force yourself to pee laying down, make sure you have bed pads in case of leaks. It can take a lot of practice to be able to urinate every time you try - and I mean a lot of practice.

1: make sure Mr Winkey is positioned so that he is facing the most padding. Often times he can slip to the sides, which may cause everything to go out the leg cuffs.
2: wait until you have a very strong urge to go.
3: take a deep breath, hold it, and force the pressure, using your stomach muscles, to your bladder area.
4: keep steady pressure, even if you feel "something" happening .
5: let off pressure once you can feel urine coming out and being absorbed by your diaper.
6: * DO NOT FLOOD * Cut yourself off if you feel like you may be in danger of overflowing.

Do not be disappointed if nothing happens the first few times you try. ;)
I didn’t use your technique at all I just drank more than normal before bed and mentally relaxed at first imagined being in front of a toilet then over time just relaxed the muscles associated. The worst part was not flooding. But it definitely takes practice
 

PCBaby

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Also make sure you aren't pointing upwards in your nappy as you will leak. Yes it is possible to train yourself to pee while laying down, but it will remain difficult and before i get the next question no you cannot make yourself incontinent by using a nappy instead of the toilet.
 

ChocChip

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I love wetting lying down... one reason being the convenience and pleasure of not having to get out of bed, and also the knowledge that it’s a position that non-nappy wearers/bedwetters never “go” in! They’re definitely missing out ;)
 

JackandJill

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I've been married for five years and our sex life is great. I am sensitive to my partner's needs and preferences and I'm very aware that she finds diapers to be a turn-off. I'm fine with that - sex is about us, not just me. However, I'd like to start wearing diapers at night because I hate getting up to pee in the cold winter, lol. Is this an intractable problem? Should I even bring it up? I don't want to jeopardize the good thing we have going here over something silly like this. Thanks!
It's good that you make sex about of you. In my opinion that's the first thing because once you start constantly wearing they will start to feel like that takes place over them.

In many relationships it's trying to find a healthy balance and when you have a partner that does not fully enjoy it I would recommend you do not go full time at night maybe set a special day or days out of the month that you would do it. Let it be there choice to be in the vicinity when you do it.

Like I told my recent partner that I do this I will do this and if you don't want to be a part of it that is fine and that is your choice because I love you.

I've been lucky with my three main people in my life.

Finally be honest I also would recommend be open. And try to put yourself in her perspective lot of people from the outside looking in think it's weird that someone would enjoy this; as we know it is perfectly normal they just haven't been exposed to it and as they got potty trained we're told how bad it is to use diapers.
 

HelloKittyBoi

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I don't want to jeopardize the good thing we have going here over something silly like this. Thanks!
Well, knowing that you wear diapers is one thing and frankly most spouses will at least tolerate it even if they don't accept it.
Wetting? In their presence? In the same bed?! With the smell?!! All night long?!!!
As one of my one night stand partner once said "never admit that you use them to someone who doesn't have the same kink".
I would strongly advise following this advice.
 

ChocChip

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There aren’t that many nappy wearers who don’t use them at all, though, and surely people will assume that you do?
 

Trevor

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Well, knowing that you wear diapers is one thing and frankly most spouses will at least tolerate it even if they don't accept it.
Wetting? In their presence? In the same bed?! With the smell?!! All night long?!!!
As one of my one night stand partner once said "never admit that you use them to someone who doesn't have the same kink".
I would strongly advise following this advice.
Why share it at all in that case (unless all you actually do is wear them)? I can see where a first date is almost always too early to talk about it but to talk about and then conceal such a substantial part of it is a lie of omission and feels pretty pointless besides.

To the original question: unless you have a legitimate medical problem, I'd keep your diapers out of your bed when your partner doesn't like them around.
 

bounduptoplease

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If your wife/partner finds nappies a turn off I can hardly see her being pleased when you start using them, even if it is only to wet at night. Also whilst wetting a nappy sounds easy in men it isn't, our plumbing system is designed to work when we sit or stand, it is almost impossible for a continent male to pee laying down on their front, side or back, Equally sitting on the edge of the bed probably won't let you pee either. So your other option is to get out of bed, stand there like a naughty boy and deliberately wet yourself. Save the expense, use the bathroom.
I agree with your comments about her not being pleased, she would probably say turn on the heater. But not where you say it is almost impossible to pee unless standing or sitting. I did initially have an issue but it really is about your mind set
as opposed to the male plumbing. Over time I have learned to relax and can now barely wake up needing a pee and just go, position is as I am as opposed where I should be. One thing I do know is I am nervous about peeing when on my side, due to gravity much of the urine is heading for the side of the nappy as opposed to the padding in the crotch. This really is a 'practice makes perfect' scenario IMO.
 

bounduptoplease

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I did say almost, you can do it with practice and good muscle control.
Yep I got your almost ;), I just think you need to overcome the 'you must not wet your pants' drummed into us as kids. Once you feel sure the bedding is not going to be wet and spend a little time recognising that you are your own boss 'so to speak' you will find it easy enough. I often wake with a wet nappy and do not remember waking to pee, and other times I do remember.
 

PCBaby

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I'm incontinent I always wake up with a wet nappy
 

neophyte

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Regarding difficulty with wetting in bed while laying down.

I had a very difficult time wetting while in bed at night, so I spent a week where during the day I would wear my diapers and drink lots of water. Each time I had to pee I would go lay in bed, after a few days it was flowing easily at night time.

Here is my post about it.

 

StrangelyShapedTree

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I've been married for five years and our sex life is great. I am sensitive to my partner's needs and preferences and I'm very aware that she finds diapers to be a turn-off. I'm fine with that - sex is about us, not just me. However, I'd like to start wearing diapers at night because I hate getting up to pee in the cold winter, lol. Is this an intractable problem? Should I even bring it up? I don't want to jeopardize the good thing we have going here over something silly like this. Thanks!
It sounds like it would open a can of worms on its own. If she hates diapers and the idea of you in them, I'm sure she will not like the idea of you wearing for the restroom. She may not understand the sexual side of diapers, but for some reason women who hate a sexual diaper fetish doubly despise the use of diapers outside of a sexual context.
 

HelloKittyBoi

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Why share it at all in that case (unless all you actually do is wear them)? [...] feels pretty pointless besides.
Many many reasons actually.
A. It establishes a climate of trust making it easier for your partner to open up about their own kinks.
B.It makes life MUCH easier (you won't have to hide your diapers, you can buy them online and have your partner pick them up).
C.It prevents "being discovered" often with terrible consequences for the relationship.
D.It allows to wear them in their presence without wetting. Which frankly is at least 70% of the pleasure.
E.It opens a door for your partner to show more interest on days where they feel naugty.
F.It allows you to feel loved even if you're special.

There you go. No need to wet in their presence. I mean if you REALLY want it, I would ask once, and learn to take no for an answer. I did that.
 
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Trevor

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Many many reasons actually.
A. It establishes a climate of trust making it easier for your partner to open up about their own kinks.
B.It makes life MUCH easier (you won't have to hide your diapers, you can buy them online and have your partner pick them up).
C.It prevents "being discovered" often with terrible consequences for the relationship.
D.It allows to wear them in their presence without wetting. Which frankly is at least 70% of the pleasure.
E.It opens a door for your partner to show more interest on days where they feel naugty.
F.It allows you to feel loved even if you're special.

There you go. No need to wet in their presence. I mean if you REALLY want it, I would ask once, and learn to take no for an answer. I did that.
My question wasn't about using them in the presence of your partner, it was about lying to say you only wear when you do more. The question of use boundaries can only arise if you admit to it. I also can't agree on your estimate of pleasure from wearing alone. I'm sure it varies substantially person to person. I don't see how it establishes trust when the disclosure contains a substantial lie. Since you did ask your partner, it seems that you didn't follow your own advice, which seems reasonable. I'm sorry the answer wasn't more favorable.
 

HelloKittyBoi

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Ok glad we agree I try to help people not screw relationships by being a little bit more negative than necessary on purpose. Solely because I think many abdls tend to puah their luck to the point of rupture. I know its usually harder for us to find love so I really dont want my brothers and sisters to lose theirs.

Now regarding this:
I also can't agree on your estimate of pleasure from wearing alone. I'm sure it varies substantially person to person.
Man like I dont know if its because my English sucks but of course? 😂
It never was meant to be a precise estimate but clearly a number out of my butt to say "most of the pleasure comes from wearing". Or at least "this amount of pleasure doesnt equal to zero".

Oh well, but you're right if I'm being 100% honest, I would say to ask if its ok once and to take no for an answer.

Disclaimer tho: if some people didnt get the "take no for an answer" memo, I wont be held accountable.
 
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