I bumped into this forum when I found the thread about practical aspects in marriage of diapers. I am the non wearer and I am not quite sure ...well..how to be. I am from Europe, so please forgive if I do not find the right English some times. My husband told me about them when we met. My response was "every human deserves to have comfort. If they give you that it is fine by me." I did ask for some things that would respect my comfort (and he agreed to them)...1- That my need for clean would be taken into account and he kept his intimate time with me clean (I mean clean smells etc...not clean as in pure or the such) 2- no lies 3- Bc we struggle to manage financially to please not be wasteful 4- Please keep it to his private times as he always had (meaning not to work or the such...the potential consequences are too scary). So he wears them every night and said he never before felt so loved or understood.... but from the start things unraveled: He left things for me to clean. He hid soiled diapers so I could never get rid of the smell. He ordered his boxes before checking if we had the money (He has severe ADHD and it has fallen on me to handle finances...Oh...it is not about asking permission but giving me heads up so I don't have bills bounce.... But here is my biggest problem...I came here for love...and our sex life has died. As long as he has the diapers he is satisfied. Happy to show what he says is his beautiful European wife to others, but home, I swear I feel I am starving to death. I come from a touching culture...all my people are an ocean away... but as long as he has his thing.... I am having a hard time thinking that in my 30s, my life as a sexual being is over. I am not the cheating sort. He feels sad for me, but his ADHD fuel his distraction and I have become invisible. So, I am starting to resent the diapers my heart was ready to understand because as long as he has that comfort I am as good as see-through. What can I say to him? How can I reach him? I have even let him diaper me hoping that that would ignite his spark (though it rubbed way close to my self-esteem particularly since he was satisfied, told me how loved he felt, and went back to forgetting about me in a blink....so I have to be honest...his response...after what to me felt like taking a big risk felt...or left me feeling some humiliation). Please help... I feel I am being robbed of the right to be a good wife and person...I don't want to take his comfort if that is what it is... But I do not think I can manage this starvation for affection/romance/sexual expression. I have crossed from sad to depressed... this makes me scared that I was tricked into leaving all my world behind for something that was misrepresented. He is a good man, but often...ADD and his other needs....he sees only himself. I need practical advise please. I am solution prone. Thank you so much. We are going to the doctor tomorrow (he promised over 1 and 1/2 year ago) bc he gets so many infections and now can't hold it much when he wants to and his erections, even when he got them would go away. So medical issues might be there. But I am still confused bc his explanations do not clarify if this is a babying thing, a comfort thing, or/and medical bc he has lived with so much shame about it...is like he changes stories to fit what he things you want to hear (all I want is to understand and be part of a life I also can love)... Is like... having had so much shame, that is more comfortable that building a good life with someone willing to accept him...but also needing to count. Do I make sense? I hope so.