Males, Females and Choice in Sexuality

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spacemanBEN

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I have done a little reading of psychology texts for fun and have stumbled across an interesting and reoccurring belief when it comes to choice in sexuality. It seems as though the general consensus regarding choice is that men have much less choice in their sexual preferences when compared to women. In other words, for a man, their sexual drives develop without a lot of conscious choice, whereas for women, there is choice as to preferences and choosing to live the associated lifestyle. I'm not sure if I agree with this, but I'm just wondering what everyone's thoughts are on this issue. I know this hypothetically applies to homosexuality and I think fetishes, too. Do you agree with this idea and do you think that the same applies to infantilism?
 

teddy564339

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I don't know if I agree with it or not....but I will say that if it is true, then it would definitely make sense in regard to infantilism. I mean, there are of course other reasons why there are so many more male infantilists than female ones, but this would play into that as well. After all, it's kind of hard to picture why the average person would want to wear diapers and act like a baby. ;)
 

AbbeyJunction

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An interesting theory really and this isnt the first time Ive heard it. but i think theres a little more thought put into it. For example i started out liking girls. alot actually (which apparently means im confused and will switch back eventually). but after a year i became bored and switch to males.

With fetishes its more of what you grew up around and a few hundred other factors.
 
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It basically comes down to the fact that men have a "manly" image to uphold, as expected by society. Turning to homosexuality isn't widely accepted as part of that image.

Women, however, don't have any real image to conform to and in that regard are more free to live out the lifestyle they want.
 

Factus_Dimentio

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The phenomenon which you are referring to is referred to by psychologists as sexual plasticity, and, according to research in the field of sexual study, is supposedly greater in females than in males. Psychologists aren't sure of exactly why this occurs, but it appears to be beyond the influence of conscious thought, at least not much, if at all.

Now, we can see the results of this in the statistics regarding - what else - sexual fetishes. Surveys report that the majority of sexual fetishists are men. This would support the claim that men are more "set" in their ways when it comes to sex. Additionally, men are more likely to initiate sex, think about sex more often, and on a more physical level than do women, which might have something to do with it.

When it comes to homosexuality, the percent of male homosexuals (3-5 %) in the US is around twice as large as the percentage of female homosexuals (2-4 %). However, since we're talking about choice here, I think it's important to note that less than 1 % of both males and females report being actively bisexual. Whether or not men have less choice than women, there appears to be little choice either way, despite the statistical disparity between men and women on the topic.
 

cier

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well, i once posted a brief theory on sexuality, but if focused mainly on peoples choice of bisexuality. it all boiled down to a fading barrier between masculinity and femininity. though the psychological aspect make plenty of sense to me too.
 

Shen

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I can definitely say that there was never any choice in the matter of homosexuality within myself and or infantilism. It happened when I hit puberty. It might have to do with my childhood but I'm still in the works of that area.

also.

I don't know if I agree with it or not....but I will say that if it is true, then it would definitely make sense in regard to infantilism. I mean, there are of course other reasons why there are so many more male infantilists than female ones, but this would play into that as well. After all, it's kind of hard to picture why the average person would want to wear diapers and act like a baby. ;)
Hello Ron.
 

Jaiden

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It basically comes down to the fact that men have a "manly" image to uphold, as expected by society. Turning to homosexuality isn't widely accepted as part of that image.

Women, however, don't have any real image to conform to and in that regard are more free to live out the lifestyle they want.
Women don't have an image to conform to? We're not so very far removed from the days of the Suffragettes, you know.

If anything the social expectation on women has been even stronger than men - stay at home, cook, clean, raise the kids, look after the husband: all very heterosexual, and in accordance with gender roles. Until relatively recently there was less choice for women as to their pursuit of a lifestyle as the options simply weren't open to them and they were pushed into roles by their families. If men are burdened with the expected roles of breadwinners and leaders, women are equally burdened with expectations of nurture and motherhood - two sides of the same coin of a traditional, nuclear and very much straight family.

The expectation on both sexes isn't as clearly defined as it once was and things, mercifully, aren't quite as rigid as that anymore but I don't think there has ever been a larger pressure on men than there has on women to be 'normal'. Certainly not to the extent that it has defined their sexuality to a greater extent.
 

Sawaa

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Sexuality isn't a choice. Which sort of makes this thread pretty null and void, you know?
 
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Women don't have an image to conform to? We're not so very far removed from the days of the Suffragettes, you know.

If anything the social expectation on women has been even stronger than men - stay at home, cook, clean, raise the kids, look after the husband: all very heterosexual, and in accordance with gender roles. Until relatively recently there was less choice for women as to their pursuit of a lifestyle as the options simply weren't open to them and they were pushed into roles by their families. If men are burdened with the expected roles of breadwinners and leaders, women are equally burdened with expectations of nurture and motherhood - two sides of the same coin of a traditional, nuclear and very much straight family.

The expectation on both sexes isn't as clearly defined as it once was and things, mercifully, aren't quite as rigid as that anymore but I don't think there has ever been a larger pressure on men than there has on women to be 'normal'. Certainly not to the extent that it has defined their sexuality to a greater extent.
You missed the context of my post.

It basically comes down to the fact that men have a "manly" image to uphold, as expected by society. Turning to homosexuality isn't widely accepted as part of that image. Women, however, don't have any real image to conform to and in that regard are more free to live out the lifestyle they want.
"In that regard" ... meaning, in terms of sexuality. I wasn't talking in terms of stay-at-home-mums, or the household cleaner, etc...

My context was regarding purely to sexuality, particularly the freedoms women have in being homosexual. Lesbianism, to me, seems like a much more accepted thing than male-male relationships.
 

Jaiden

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You missed the context of my post.

"In that regard" ... meaning, in terms of sexuality. I wasn't talking in terms of stay-at-home-mums, or the household cleaner, etc...

My context was regarding purely to sexuality, particularly the freedoms women have in being homosexual. Lesbianism, to me, seems like a much more accepted thing than male-male relationships.
No, I understood what you meant, I just disagreed with the premise.

My point was that the expected female gender role - the stay-at-home-mum, household cleaner stuff - would constiture just as pertinent a pressure on female sexuality as the 'manly', patriarchal, breadwinner stuff on male sexuality. Further, you must say that those social pressures on women are directly related to their sexual freedom and acceptance if the equivalent pressures on men are held to do so.

I don't see how you can say the expectations on men tie into their sexuality and how it is perceived but those on women don't. If men have a 'manly' image to uphold then women have a 'womanly' image to uphold and both those images are of straight people. I also disagree that gay women are more accepted than gay men; there are differences in how the two are perceived but no substantive dichotomy of a lesser or greater prejudice or acceptance.
 
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No, I understood what you meant, I just disagreed with the premise.

My point was that the expected female gender role - the stay-at-home-mum, household cleaner stuff - would constiture just as pertinent a pressure on female sexuality as the 'manly', patriarchal, breadwinner stuff on male sexuality. Further, you must say that those social pressures on women are directly related to their sexual freedom and acceptance if the equivalent pressures on men are held to do so.

I don't see how you can say the expectations on men tie into their sexuality and how it is perceived but those on women don't. If men have a 'manly' image to uphold then women have a 'womanly' image to uphold and both those images are of straight people. I also disagree that gay women are more accepted than gay men; there are differences in how the two are perceived but no substantive dichotomy of a lesser or greater prejudice or acceptance.
Maybe it's just a difference in culture. I see what you are saying, woman still have the pressures of an image to uphold, but the whole concept of lesbianism is much more accepted in comparison to the concept of same-sex male relationships. Usually when I hear people refer to a "gay couple", most of the time they are talking about two men, and most of the time in a negative tone. When I hear discussion of lesbians, conversation is less serious, much more casual and hits positive notes at times.

I think that stems from the fact our culture has spawned from a male-dominated society. Men were, and in most places still are considered to be the breadwinner, whilst the woman takes the backseat in and around the home. I'm not saying woman don't have any less of an image to convey, I'm just saying that their sexuality seems to be less of a concern among slightly conservative and traditional people, as opposed to two men being in a relationship.

Perhaps men, who can be notorious for viewing women as sex objects, are more lenient in allowing such activity to occur, simply because the pursuit of sex or getting off overwhelms the fact it's still a homosexual relationship. Think of it like a "two women naked are better than one" mentality.
 
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Neat conversation. I've always felt very ambiguous about my own sexuality; infantilism is just a flavor in the pie. I have felt 'gay' since earliest puberty, but what happens when, via a lack of any boyfriend/girlfriend and a fear of them, one's sexuality seems stuck in the hugs+cuddles mode? Sometimes I feel so ambiguous about sex that I think I'd be best off in a world that had three genders; male, female and neuter. I'm a boy, wouldn't want to be a girl, but living somehow in-between the expectations of both seems like a very comfy spot sometimes.

Try convincing anybody of the validity of that, though. Sigh.
 
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