Loss of a Friend Possibly???

diaperedteenager · Feb 5, 2009

No, she didn't die. But she did move away. I am not talking like another city or another state, but she moved back to Europe. I am just sad whenever I look at pictures of her or videos of her. We only started to talk to eachother for like 2 months and I am just worried that she will push me out of her mind. I feel like I became her friend by defalt, only becomming her friend b/c she didn't want to be rude and say I am not interested in talking to you.

I did get her address in Europe and mailed her a letter, but I am afraid that she will just be like "looks like he will never get a response from me". I have her myspace and AIM, but she hasn't responded to my messages or emails, I only set like 3 though, but still...

Am I heading for disaster trying to keep in contact with her? When ever I make a friend of the opposite sex, I end up f***ing it up and loosing them b/c I get too clingy. It is just hard for me to talk to girls and on the rare occasion that I get one I don't ever want to loose them, but in the end 90% of the time I do.

So, how can I cope with her leaving America? When I look at her pics and videos, how caqn I make it so that I don't tear up and feel remorseful in thinking that "I should have made more of an effort"?

For me it is just when ever I make a friend it is like I just conqured the British Empire and I want to be in that feeling forever. I don't want to loose her, any suggestions?

Pojo · Feb 5, 2009

I can understand about being too clingy. I tend to be that way with a lot of people. Now concerning your friend, it's probably not what you want to hear, but you might end up losing her as a friend. It can be hard to keep a long distance relationship, but you should give her a while to get used to where she is. Moving can be a stressful thing, so give her a few weeks, or even longer. I've had friends that I've lost contact with for so long, that I thought they just forgot about me or something, and they ended up coming online some random day. They then claim they've been busy and have had internet troubles, so there is always a chance for your friend to contact you again.

Cosmos · Feb 5, 2009

Hate to sound negative, but I've been in those situations before. The only friends that talk to me that move away are the ones I've been tight with my whole life. They were a part of my family, as I was to them, and that's what kept our bonds strong. I'm currently talking to one of my friends who moved away when I was 9. Our families knew each other since we were tiny, though.

Unless you and her felt a strong connection when she lived near you, she probably will fade. I'm not saying it will for sure, I'm just saying that's what I've observed. Good luck!

jter42 · Feb 5, 2009

Kinda like me if i ever get a gf i end up losing her...so you know im stuck it caps stupid keyboard

diaperedteenager · Feb 5, 2009

So i am basically screwed? I should raise the white flag and surrender?

Mr Alex · Feb 5, 2009

Yes, stop sending messages. I had the opposite situation, I put some lips together on a girl and then she decided to get rid of me for a long distance relationship, LULWUT? (Acause I didn't hit on it enough I guess)

I can say I know your pain. Women are terrible with this really. Women do stuff all weird, how they should do it is if they like you, they should YELL IT AT YOU, if they don't like you any more they should YELL THAT too. Most men DO NOT understand anything about womens and what they are trying to say/imply.

Now, find a balance between our two failures, and you will get so many women it will be insane.

Charlie · Feb 6, 2009

Stop all contact!

You've sent a letter and 3 emails, just stop straight away. You don't want to smother her or she will be freaked out.
Now, just wait a month for a reply. A whole month. If after a month she hasn't replied, sent her one last email saying "oh, you haven't replied to me yet" followed by an email with proper content, don't make it empty, just say what you've been up and ask her how Europe is.
If she doesn't reply to that, then that's it.

Although be positive. She has just moved a long distance, and may not have internet sorted out. Depending on where exactly she is living, it may take a couple of weeks before she get the internet put it. It isn't the kind of thing that one arranges before moving house, or at least my family wouldn't think about stuff like that.

dogboy · Feb 6, 2009

I've got to agree with Charlie F. Usually it's guys who are not good at following through. When I moved away from my best friend, we were going to write all the time. It resulted in one letter each. But after all these years I still miss him. But that's life, and you are going to have to move on. Be nice to girls, and to other people. Girls pick up on that. They like good guys who are thoughtful and considerate. Work on your people skills. There are 150 million females in the U.S. alone. There's got to be one for you, and good luck.

starshine · Feb 6, 2009

A friendship has to work both ways.... if she doesn't want to be your friend, there isn't much you can do about it. Also - for all you know she's just busy with something, or hasn't gotten anything yet!

diaperedteenager · Feb 6, 2009

I got an Email response from her today, she said she was just trying to re adjust herself to life there. So, all seems to be good...for now...

diaperedteenager · Feb 11, 2009

I am still having trouble with her. I mean we talked last friday and sunday for like a total of 10 minutes, but it made me extrodinaraly happy to do so. Everytime I look at a picture of her i cry, i think "I should have done more". What can I do to stop those feelings? I don't want her to be out of my life, because I'll regret it for ever and will never be able to sleep soundly again. What should I do?

Pojo · Feb 11, 2009

diaperedteenager said:
I am still having trouble with her. I mean we talked last friday and sunday for like a total of 10 minutes, but it made me extrodinaraly happy to do so. Everytime I look at a picture of her i cry, i think "I should have done more". What can I do to stop those feelings? I don't want her to be out of my life, because I'll regret it for ever and will never be able to sleep soundly again. What should I do?

Just get it all out now. There isn't anything you really can do. If she does slip away from your life, then it happens. You're just going to have to tough it out.