Lexi’s accident

StefDL

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This is my first story and I’m a bit nervous posting it. I’m defs open to feedback so let me know what you think :)

Chapter 1

Lexi was 14 when it first happened. She was at school during lunch break hanging out with her friends in the halls when she felt something wet running down her legs. Looking down, she saw herself standing in a pool of urine; jeans and socks soaked. Mortified, Lexi just stood there looking down while the other girls all screamed and quickly backed away. Sarah, Lexis closest friend grabbed Lexi by the arm and rushed her to the bathroom. “My goodness, Lexi, what happened?” Asked Sarah, once they reached the privacy of the bathroom, genuinely concerned. “I... I don’t know, it just happened...” stammered Lexi who just stood there, still in shock. “Ok, we’ll let’s get you cleaned up, do you have spare clothes in your locker?” Asked Sarah moving her towards one of the sinks in the bathroom. “No, I... no” Lexi burst into tears. She just wet herself in front of all of her friends at school, she was embarrassed, confused, and horrified. Middle school girls could be really mean to each other. “Ok, I have spare clothes in my locker,” Sarah said leading Lexi into a stall, “I’ll go get them, you wait here.” Lexi sat on the closed toilet seat, wiping tears away she said, “hey Sarah? Thanks.” “What are friends for?” Sarah said lightly punching Lexi in the arm, trying to cheer her up. Lexi smiled sadly as Laura before Laura closed the stall door and left to get Lexi a spare set of clothes.
 
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kerry

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Thanks for joining us, Stef. :)

Since this is your first story, I'm going to offer a few suggestions;
  • Take your time! Not everything has to happen in the opening paragraph. And, with that in mind...
  • Readers get more invested in a story when they can identify with the main character(s). As you slow down at the start, help us to see who Lexi is. Let us get to know her in wetting-free situations before moving in that direction. It will be worth it, and you'll get us anticipating the big moment.
  • Whenever there is a new speaker, there should be a new paragraph (¶).
  • Oh, and be careful about names: Sarah randomly turns into Laura near the end here. :)
 

StefDL

Est. Contributor
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Thanks for joining us, Stef. :)

Since this is your first story, I'm going to offer a few suggestions;
  • Take your time! Not everything has to happen in the opening paragraph. And, with that in mind...
  • Readers get more invested in a story when they can identify with the main character(s). As you slow down at the start, help us to see who Lexi is. Let us get to know her in wetting-free situations before moving in that direction. It will be worth it, and you'll get us anticipating the big moment.
  • Whenever there is a new speaker, there should be a new paragraph (¶).
  • Oh, and be careful about names: Sarah randomly turns into Laura near the end here. :)
Thanks for the tips, I’ve already changed the name error. The wetting incident kinda sets things up for later, there’s definitely more non-wetting situations coming up.
 

StefDL

Est. Contributor
Messages
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  2. Little
Chapter 2

"B + L Forever" was scratched into one of the walls of the stall in the girls bathroom alongside a bunch of other writing, some legible, others not. To take her mind off of what had happened, Lexi started reading what other people had written. It wasn't long before Sarah came back with a change of clothes for Lexi. "Sarah, I..." Lexi began before abruptly stopping. Sarah was followed by a rather large woman with long, wavy dark brown hair. Lexi knew immediately that it was the Vice Principle, Miss. Hughes. Kids, including Lexi would make fun of her behind her back about her size.
"I'm sorry Lexi," Sarah said, "but I thought Miss. Hughes would be able to help."
"Hey, Lexi, Sarah told me about..." Began Miss. Hughes softly.
"HOW COULD YOU SARAH!" Bellowed Lexi, face reddening in embarrassment. She burst into tears again and slammed the door to the stall shut, "I TRUSTED YOU!"
"Lexi, I..." began Sarah, obviously hurt by Lexi, tears welling up in her own eyes.
Miss. Hughes put a gentle hand on Sarah's shoulder to quiet and comfort her. "It's ok, dear, let me deal with this."
Miss. Hughes knocked softly on the stall door
"Go away," Lexi said between sniffles.
"Lexi," Miss. Hughes said in a matter-of-fact tone, "you can't stay in those clothes, Lunch break is going to end soon and you'll need to go back to class, let me help you get changed. I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Not even my parents?" asked Lexi doubtfully
"Not if you don't want me to, but you will have to tell them if you want your clothes washed."
Lexi knew Miss. Hughes was right but still winced at the thought of telling her mother. She opened the door to let Sarah and Miss. Hughes help her get changed. Sarah was a little taller than Lexi with long blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin. Everyone at school, including Lexi, thought she was the prettiest girl in school. Lexi had curly red hair, really pale blue eyes, and freckles everywhere. It was the freckles Lexi hated the most, kids would occasionally pick on her for it but her friends would always back her up. She feared that would all change now.
Miss. Hughes helped Lexi get changed while Sarah made sure no one tried to enter the bathroom so they had privacy. The bell rang to signal the end of lunch but Miss Hughes didn't sent Sarah away, which Lexi was grateful for.
"Well, they're a little big but they should do for the rest of the day," Miss. Hughes said stepping back to give Lexi some space.
"Thank you, Miss. Hughes," mumbled Lexi, head down, still embarrassed.
"You're welcome, Lexi," smiled Miss. Hughes, "now, let's get you two to class, shall we?"
As the three of them walked back to class, Sarah grabbed Lexi's hand and gave her an encouraging smile. "No matter what happens, Lexi, I'll always be your friend," she said. Lexi couldn't have been more thankful to have a friend like Sarah.
"BFFs?" said Lexi
"BFFs" confirmed Sarah
 
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