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2. Roll up said soiled diaper and place in bag and tie the handles together as to not let the smell escape.
2.1 Wrap chains around said bagged, soiled diaper, securing them with no fewer than three Master-brand padlocks, to ensure that the janitorial staff don't casually or accidentally open the bag while emptying the trash. ...or try to unlock the bag. ...with bullets.
2.2 Deposit said locked, chained, bagged, soiled diaper in the most out-of-the-way trash bin you can find, bearing in mind that you will likely have to wake sleeping transients and/or interrupt the exchange of sexual favors for money in order to do a proper job.
2.3 Empty six fifty-pound bags of Kwik-Krete cement into the trash bin, ensuring good coverage of locked, chained, bagged, soiled diaper--and the inevitable assortment of needles, condoms, and inexplicably undisguised baby diapers.
2.4 Roll the near-quarter-ton trash bin containing the plastic-wrapped cylinder of cement containing the locked, chained, bagged, soiled diaper to the nearest large body of water and push it in.
2.5 Watch to ensure that it sinks to the bottom and isn't merely perched atop a pile of similar trash bins--because this is a very popular thing to do, and somebody may have properly disposed of his or her used diapers in the same location. You should climb in and manipulate any partially submerged trash bins to ensure they remain hidden from view, even at low tide.
2.6 If there isn't already a "No Diving" sign posted, you should post one. It wouldn't be nice for somebody to break his neck by diving headfirst into your cement-filled trash bin. If diving appears to be especially popular in your area, as is often the case in the tropics, a supplemental "Danger: Sharks" sign is probably in order. That should further reduce the chances of your dirty diaper stash being discovered.
2.7 Return to the bathroom and sit on the toilet for at least ten minutes, taking care to moan, grunt, and (ideally) fart as often as possible. That way, if anybody has been watching you dispose of something in a highly suspicious manner, they'll at least dismiss all diaper-related theories.
2.8 Completely destroy the bathroom, then call the city offices to report it, making sure to claim that the bathroom is consistently in the same terrible condition. With any luck, the janitor will be fired, and his replacement won't notice the missing trash bin.
2.9 (Keep the keys to the padlocks for several weeks until you're certain that all accidentally-swallowed jewelry is accounted for. 'Cause having to recover and then jackhammer through all that cement would be bad enough!)
3 Clean yourself up and the area around you that you yourself have soiled then apply fresh diaper.
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