Jamie's Nightmare

Waldo

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This is the very first story I’ve ever attempted to publish anywhere, I’ve written some stories but they were never good enough to publish anywhere. So my hope is to keep this story up to ADISC standards, and try to keep it as original as possible. Critiquing & criticism is welcomed, please let me know what you think of my work & where it could improve! I’m not entirely sure how far I’m going to go with it, but that’ll be determined how it comes across to everybody.

The first couple of chapters might be a little slow, I’ll try to put a few chapters up this week to get the plot rolling.
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CHAPTER ONE- The Beginning​


According to the clock on the back wall, there was only 9 minutes left in the School day. However, to Jamie Richards it might as well say 2 hours left. Normally Jamie was a very outgoing 12 year old, who actually enjoyed her time spent at School & rarely counted down until it ended.

That was except whenever a school day landed on May 14th, like any kid she didn't enjoy spending her birthday glued to a desk for 7 hours. Unlike other kids, Jamie wasn't excited for a big birthday party, or even a party for that matter. Because, May 14th wasn't only her birthday but it was her Fathers as well and for as long as she could remember her & her father had spent their birthdays with only each other. Jamie’s father was a Sargent in the United States Army, and like every year for almost 5 years he was deployed on active duty but he had always promised to be home for her birthday. Sgt. Richards was last deployed in November on a 6-month deployment & was due back home today.

Jamie sat in her desk not even paying attention to her math teacher, who was giving his normal lecture; something she knew she would regret on Monday but was the least of her worries now.

“Miss Richards” a voice said, but Jamie was too focused on the clock & the winding minute handing that was getting closer & closer to the 5 on the clock.

“Miss Richards” the voice said again, Jamie ignored it again.

Suddenly Jamie felt a familiar tap to her back; it was her best friend Alyssa trying to get her attention. After a few attempts, she finally gave up & tugged on Jamie’s long blond ponytail.

“OW, what was that for?” Jamie whispered turning around to giving her friend a scolding look

“Mr. Phillips” Alyssa quickly said, before being interrupted by the now irritated teacher

“Miss Richards, I’m glad to have you back in my classroom. Since you obviously in a rush to get out of here, I’ll help you with that; I wasn’t going to give out homework today. However, since Miss Richards isn’t interested in learning in my classroom, maybe she’d like to learn at home. ” Mr. Phillips said in a very irritatingly stern voice, followed by the entire class turning to look at Jamie. All she could is scoot down in her desk in embarrassment.

“Alright class, I suppose you could do 1-30 on page 42, and the chapter review on pages 45-47 and have them ready to go over on Monday” Mr. Phillips stated before the bell rang signaling the end of class & school until Monday.

Jamie quickly wrote down the homework, and hurried out of the classroom before Mr. Phillips could scold her any further. She was quickly followed by her best friend Alyssa walking down the hall to their lockers.

“I know you’re not used to long hair, but it doesn't tickle when you pull a ponytail” Jamie said jokingly referring to Alyssa’s short hair that was barely half-way down her neck.

“Hey, you’re the one who keeps putting your hair in a ponytail and it was better than slapping the back of your head. What was up with you anyway? Normally you’re writing notes 45 mph in math” Alyssa asked

“You know today’s the 14th, my dad’s due home today. I’m too excited to focus on how to find X, in an equation I’ll probably never need to use again in my life” Jamie responded as the girls arrived at their lockers, that had always been next to one another since elementary school. While they were packing their stuff in their backpacks they heard the familiar beep from the intercom

“Alyssa Rheese, please come to the main office. Alyssa Rheese to the main office”

“Ugh, what could they possibly want?” Alyssa said as she hurried to pack the rest of her locker up with the weekend of home, and rushed to the office.

While Alyssa left, Jamie was in no mood to wait & see if Alyssa was walking home with her like they normally did. Instead she rushed out of the building, and walking as quickly as she could to get home. As soon as she went to cross the street, she felt her phone vibrating & thought it was just Alyssa texting her. But the vibrating didn’t stop; indicating somebody was calling her she quickly crossed the street before answering her cell phone.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Alyssa asked

“I’m walking home, I told you I want to get home & don’t want to mess around” Jamie said, trying to rush her friend off. So she could start walking quicker again.

“Hold up! I’m right behind you!” Alyssa yelled as she hung up, and started yelling “HEY JAMIE WAIT!” as she slowly caught up to her.

“Try to keep up with those short legs of yours Ally” Jamie said reminding Alyssa of her short stature

“What do you mean MY short legs? You realize I’m 4”12 & you’re only 5”1. That’s only 2 inches taller, I don’t think that’ll affect my mobility compared to yours that much.” Alyssa rebottled, trying to defend her naturally short body.

The two girls quickly picked up the walking pace, with Jamie trying to cut their normal 10 minute walk home much shorter today. Normally the girls would be talking & laughing all the way home, but today Jamie was too focused on getting home to mind anything else, which made for a very quiet & boring walk.

They were just 2 blocks away now, but while Jamie was too focused on making her feet go faster she didn’t even notice that she was crossing a 4-way intersection without even stopping to check for cars. Suddenly, Jamie’s trance was interrupted by a loud horn from an oncoming car that was coming right for her. Jamie just froze, she couldn’t even think enough to run; instead she was just standing there in the middle of the lane frozen like a rock. Jamie couldn’t think of anything else to do besides close her eyes & prepare for the worse. Everything just went silent & black for a few seconds, as Jamie finally opened her eyes to her friend screaming

“THERE’S A STOP SIGN THERE FOR A REASON JERK! Jamie are you okay?” Alyssa said concerned for her friend.

"I think so" Jamie responded very dazed & trying to regroup

After a few seconds Jamie was able to shake off the near fatal incident, and continue walking home.
 
Last edited:

Waldo

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Story Update: I have every intention of finishing this story, however I've hit a creative block with where to go later on in the story. So, I've decided to work on a different story for a little while and come back to this story. Hopefully with a better idea how to work through it.
 

Bronie07

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4'12" is the same as 5'. Alyssa is then only an inch shorter. although you might keep 4'12" for humor and personality of alyssa and change 5' 1" to 5'2". Anyways, im not an English guru and no nothing about Gammer so i can't help you there.

I loved the begining and can't wait to see where it goes!
 

PuppyDog

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Interesting start, i like both of your stories, and hope they both continue, thank you for sharing. :)
 

Waldo

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4'12" is the same as 5'. Alyssa is then only an inch shorter. although you might keep 4'12" for humor and personality of alyssa and change 5' 1" to 5'2". Anyways, im not an English guru and no nothing about Gammer so i can't help you there.

I loved the begining and can't wait to see where it goes!

I had intended to put either 4"11 or 4"10, something right below 5'. the 4"12 is a simple typo & a result of writing the chapter at 4am haha.

Interesting start, i like both of your stories, and hope they both continue, thank you for sharing. :)

I'm partially through chapter 2 of this story, but I'm stumped on where to go past that & I want to focus more on the other story(Cassidy Webber) more. So updates for this one, like I said might be seldom for a while at least.
 

bambinobaby

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I think that this is a great start and there are lots of places to take it. If you need suggestions, feel free to PM me as I have some ideas. If not, I'll patiently and eagerly wait for the next update.
 

Waldo

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Chapter 2​

“Jamie, is that you baby?” Jamie’s mother; Nicole Richards said from the kitchen

“Yes mom it’s me, and will you ever stop calling me baby? I’m almost a teenager, I’m the furthest thing from a baby” Jamie responded as her mother walked into the living room to greet her daughter

“Yea, but you’ll always be my baby. Happy birthday sweetie” Jamie’s mom said as she hugged her daughter.

“When is dad due home?” Jamie asked trying to change the subject

“Not sure, I tried calling his base to see if he was back yet and they said they’d call back later with more info” she answered

“Ugh, they better get him home soon” Jamie said in a little less irritated tone as she started to walk towards the steps.

After weeks of anticipating her father’s return, & their annual birthday tradition Jamie was worried that he might not make it back in time. She walked up to her bedroom, figuring might as well try to get some of her homework done. So when her dad got home, she wouldn’t have to worry about it all weekend.
Jamie sat at the desk in her room, mindlessly working on math problems hoping to hear the front door open & shut; but it never did.

After 2 hours, Jamie finally finished her math homework & was putting things away for Monday when she saw a black SUV pull in front of her house. She remembered this familiar site, every time her dad came home from active duty he would always get dropped off in a government issued SUV.

Jamie’s face was glowing with excitement as she watched out the window waiting to see her dad, but after 5 minutes nobody was getting out of the car. So she decided to go downstairs, and go outside to greet him.

While she was walking down the steps, she heard a loud knock at the front door. She thought to herself,

“Why would dad be knocking to get into his own house?”

She finally got downstairs, to see her mother was already at the front door answering the knocking. But the two men she greeted at the door were not her father; instead they were military officers in their uniforms.

Jamie was standing the hallway, trying to listen to what the men were saying.

“May I help you?” Jamie’s mom asked the officers

“Yes, my name is Sgt. First Class Clay, & this is private Evans. Are you Nicole Richards?” the taller officer asked

“Yes I am, may I ask what this is about?” She answered the man

“Mrs. Richards, could we come in? It’s concerning your husband Sgt. Nathan Richards.” The officer responded

Mrs. Richards led both men down the hall to the formal living room, as they passed Jamie she could see the confusion & fear in her mother’s eyes.

“Mom what’s wrong?” Jamie asked as her mother walked by

“Mrs. Richards, could Private Evans possibly take your daughter upstairs. So we can talk in private?” The officer asked as they walked by me.

“Jamie, go with the officer please” Mrs. Richards instructed her daughter.
“But mom” Jamie bolted back with

“Please not now Jamie, just go with him to your room please.” Mrs. Richards said, again instructing her daughter to leave.

Jamie did as her mother instructed, & lead the officer up to her room. Jamie got up to her room, and once the officer was in her room she closed the door.

“Alright talk, what’s going on? Is my dad okay?” Jamie asked the private

“I’m sorry ma’am, I’m not allowed to answer those questions” The officer responded

“What can you answer?’ Jamie asked in a condescending voice

“Miss, I was instructed to simply prevent you from interrupting my commanding officer & your mother. If I may say so ma’am, once your mother & my commanding officer are finished you are free to asked either of them” Replied the officer.

Suddenly, Jamie could hear her mother crying from the living room. She quickly jolted from her bed to the door to find out why, but as soon as she got off the bed the officer stood in front of the door.

“LET ME OUT!” Jamie screamed

But the officer didn’t reply this time, just stood there like a wall.

“WHY IS MY MOM CRYING? LET ME OUT! WHY WON’T ANYBODY TELL ME ANYTHING?” Jamie screamed, when she herself started to tear up.

After 15 minutes, there was a knock at the door

“Private Evans, you may let Miss. Richards leave now” said the voice on the other side of the door

No sooner did Jamie hear this, did she jolt for the door again. This time the officer moved out of the way & let her through. She ran down to join her mother on the couch, eager to find out what had happened

“Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Jamie asked her mother

“Sweetie, come here please sit with me” Her mother replied
Jamie did as her mothered said, and sat next to her on the couch.

“Honey, there was an accident with your father’s plane that was escorting him off of base. He didn’t make it” Jamie’s mother told her daughter.


Story Update: Sorry for the delay in chapter 2, but it'll probably be this way for chapter 3 too. I have a better idea of where to take this story now, but still want to focus on my others & i don't have a ton of time to focus on writing in the coming weeks. If you enjoy this story though please let me know, & I'll try to quicken the pace of writing chapter 3.
 

PuppyDog

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I was worried this would happen, now i feel terrible, :( poor jamie.
I simply must know what happens next!.
Please continue and thank you for sharing. :)

P.S both your stories are great!, thanks for the double update.
 

Jayme

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Just a note, the Military would send a Chaplin and an officer usually of equal ranks, ( Captain or higher). Otherwise your story is awesome
 
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