I've created and opened pandora's box (what should I do)

Fireband

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A little background on the situation,
A few years ago, I had a very special friend. She was very close to me, and we were practically family, having known each other since kindergarten. We were both the nerdy type, and were what people call "code monkeys" (people who code really well). One day, my friend and I where hanging out at The Digital Mug, a tech cafe in my area (sadly it's closed now) and I was hacking some toxic websites. She wanted to learn how to hack, so I agreed to teach her, on the condition she kept it legal. She agreed, and quickly outdid her teacher (me). A year later she asked me out, I just wanted to be friends and kindly turned her down. She didn't take it too well, then went up and disappeared. Fast foward to a few days ago, I start getting texts and calls from a girl calling herself "Glitch". She's also been messing with some of my accounts, and has forced me to work on a chromebook (the one thing that is hard to hack). I know it's her, her voice in the voicemails is her for sure. She also knows things only someone close to me would know: my favorite guitar strings, my dog's name, my favorite guitar, my favorite bands, etc. She wants her "senpai" to notice her and love her (god I wish she didn't obsess over anime). I don't know what to do. The flirting has got to stop, and I can't find out where she is so I can report her to authorities. She is harrasing me with these calls and IMs and it has to stop. There seems to be only one way out, and that's to give in and date her. But, I really don't want to. What should I do?
 

Leio

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Yeah...

This is a girl that you want to stay away from. Your best bet is to record all of these messages and calls so that you have evidence to hand the authorities when you find her.

DO NOT give in and date her. That kind of a girl is bad news. I'm not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist right now, but it's pretty clear that this girl is mentally unstable.

What you should do is try and save all the IM's that you have of her, record any calls and voicemails, and hand it to the police. You should at least try to talk to the authorities so that they can do the job of tracking her once you show them the evidence.

Keep us posted for updates... sorry that this has been happening to you.
 

RubberJin

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You don't need to find her, you have her name so report her and let the authorities deal with her.

Also, DON'T DATE CRAZY!
 

AddyShadows

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Well if you can't find her the solution is obvious, agree to date, set up a meeting place, have the police there, spoiler alert: Its a sting to catch your stalker. Perhaps even agree to meet her and wear a wire, talk to her first and explain to her that no you don't want to go out with her. When she enevitibally freaks out like all crazy's do, the police move in. I mean it's work but if she is legitimately harassing you and stalking you or w/e this is probably the best way to go about it.


Edit*: Plus, the bonus is, if she does freak out, you get to watch the police take her into custody like you're at a live taping of cops or live pd. XD
 

TofuWaffel

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Set up a honeypot and mess with her system. Also, if she has hacked your computer do a fresh reinsall of os, use a password manager with super strong passwords and ALLEAYS use a VPN. Have firewall monitoring.

You can run a Kali Linux distro to set up the honeypot. But for sure stay away from this crazy girl.
 

WDDash

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Well if you can't find her the solution is obvious, agree to date, set up a meeting place, have the police there, spoiler alert: Its a sting to catch your stalker. Perhaps even agree to meet her and wear a wire, talk to her first and explain to her that no you don't want to go out with her. When she enevitibally freaks out like all crazy's do, the police move in. I mean it's work but if she is legitimately harassing you and stalking you or w/e this is probably the best way to go about it.
From what I've seen police don't usually take this kind of thing seriously, and I'm not entirely sure they'd devote anything to a sting operation. I like the idea though. You'll need some more evidence on your side to justify it. You may need some more conclusive evidence before they even consider you. I'm really an amateur when it comes to hacking, but can't you bug your own stuff so that when she tries to hack you, you can confirm it's her? Once you do have evidence, you may want to file a police report of your suspicions.

Here's something you could try. Bug your own system so you see if she's in or not. Set up some alert when she comes in. Next you need some additional piece of evidence confirming her whereabouts. This is probably not the best idea and I encourage you to come up with a better one, but you could try calling her once she's hacking. You can optionally tell her she's being recorded so that if she says anything, it can be used against her. I usually would just go for your eye-witness, but if she's as crazy as she sounds, she'll probably wholeheartedly admit to hacking you while being recorded.

Yeah...
What you should do is try and save all the IM's that you have of her, record any calls and voicemails, and hand it to the police. You should at least try to talk to the authorities so that they can do the job of tracking her once you show them the evidence.

Keep us posted for updates... sorry that this has been happening to you.

Report the harassment to the social media sites she's been harassing you on as well. Social media sites will most likely take greater action with just a claim and investigate further. You may be able to use their investigation to your advantage when gathering evidence for a police report.

Next for personal safety. Like Leio said, use VPN always. If you have to use something other than chrome OS, use a a large external drive. On friend's computer, set up a virtual box emulator on it and run the emulator for your personal use and unplug when you're done. If she hacks it, reimage the emulator. Encrypt that external drive. Remember to always delete session cookies and press "log out".

Sorry if I couldn't suggest anything more useful though. I'm just an amateur programmer.

For the long run, if she keeps harassing you, you may want to pursue a restraining order.

Probably another one of the hardest parts about a stalker you know is overcoming the regret. Just know that forcing a relationship isn't healthy and isn't going to help either of you. What a lot of people have said in this thread is pretty much true. She has issues.
 

Fireband

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A very scary update to the situation:
I found out it was her indeed, so I set up a trap with the help of the local police (they were very helpful). I arranged for my band to play a show yesterday with some of her favorite songs on the set list. The police where there waiting as the department and I had arranged. However, I kid you not, she tried (and thank god failed) to molotov cocktail the stage. Thank god the only things burned were some crummy marshal amps and a few cables. She was apprehended right away. She's currently at a mental hospital after (from what I hear) a very disturbing mental evaluation. When the PD asked if I was pressing charges today as well (which I am) they she might not be competent to stand trial. I'm just relived she is out of my life! I can now focus on me and me alone.
 

WDDash

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Glad things turned out ok Firebrand. I'm glad the police were of help. Many police departments just don't take these kinds of things seriously.

It makes me wonder what happend to her in the past few years that made her like this... I suppose a police investigation might be revealing. Good luck with the entire situation.

Also, do you know if she has any family that knows of her whereabouts?
 

Leio

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I'm very happy to hear that you're ok and that the police department was very helpful in this case.

I just hope that you're taking care of yourself in the midst of all of this.
 

Fireband

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I'm okay, despite loosing 3000 dollars worth of equipment from her homemade molotov. Her family did compensate me for the damages, and told me they had no idea of her whereabouts. Apparently, she had been living with a friend who lives in the neighborhood next to mine (scary). She even quit her job to stalk and harass me. I'm relived her family doesn't blame me for their daughter's mental state. Her family visited her in the hospital, and she's in bad shape. She's been in safety restraints for hours and has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar. The only thing I'm not okay about is feeling like I'm responsible for the loss of my former friend's sanity (yes the court might actually find her criminally insane). I tried to let her down gentle all those years ago, but I keep wondering if I could've done something better. I appreciate all the support you guys have given me. I am truly greatfull.
 

Leio

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Listen...

She has a severe mental illness. There's nothing that you could have done to make her better. Her mind isn't in the proper state to make proper judgements and decisions. She needs professional help.

You did the best thing for her. That is to get the authorities involved so that she can get help (also be held accountable for her actions is she was actually able to understand the impact of her actions). If you didn't get the authorities involved, the consequences would be far worse for the two of you and could even harm many other innocent bystanders.

I understand the guilt that you feel, but you need to let yourself off with the fact that you did the best thing possible for her. That's the mark of a good friend (even if you are former friends): doing the right thing even if your friend doesn't see it like that and even if it isn't convenient for you to do.

Take care,

-Leio
 

WDDash

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3000 dollars is too much to lose even in a bad day... Don’t forget to file an insurance claim if that’s at all possible. Insurance companies are flaky as heck when you don’t file right away.

More importantly, you couldn’t have done anything. If what you said is true, she was beyond help when you saw her again. She separated herself from everyone and you had no idea she would do that. If it wasn’t you, it wouldn’ve been someone else. I mean, if she did this to some other person, I doubt they’d be tech savvy enough to even be here it sounds like. Instead of focusing on what you could’ve done, focus on what you can do and what you will do. There’s still life to live. You still have a lot of friends that care about you.

Maybe you can do something but probably not. Be sure to keep forgiveness in your heart while remembering the consequences and the lessons learned.

In the meantime, it might also be worthwhile reading up on criminal insanity.
https://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-procedure/insanity-defense.html

Good luck Firebrand. Feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to.
 

Entity

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A very scary update to the situation:
I found out it was her indeed, so I set up a trap with the help of the local police (they were very helpful). I arranged for my band to play a show yesterday with some of her favorite songs on the set list. The police where there waiting as the department and I had arranged. However, I kid you not, she tried (and thank god failed) to molotov cocktail the stage. Thank god the only things burned were some crummy marshal amps and a few cables. She was apprehended right away. She's currently at a mental hospital after (from what I hear) a very disturbing mental evaluation. When the PD asked if I was pressing charges today as well (which I am) they she might not be competent to stand trial. I'm just relived she is out of my life! I can now focus on me and me alone.
Why can't this make national news? I'm thrilled that 1) the police took the situation seriously, 2) assisted you in a safe resolution to your problem, and 3) made a concerted effort to keep the peace and well-being of the public as their first priority. I don't mean to take away from your situation, but you did one thing news outlets are shaming police forces all over the US for abusing: trusting them. What did it get you? Peace of mind and perhaps the best nights sleep you've had in a while. At least consider giving them a shoutout in an editorial of the local news. They did good; you're safe and much to her own chagrin so is she.
 

wew1992

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I'm okay, despite loosing 3000 dollars worth of equipment from her homemade molotov. Her family did compensate me for the damages, and told me they had no idea of her whereabouts. Apparently, she had been living with a friend who lives in the neighborhood next to mine (scary). She even quit her job to stalk and harass me. I'm relived her family doesn't blame me for their daughter's mental state. Her family visited her in the hospital, and she's in bad shape. She's been in safety restraints for hours and has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar. The only thing I'm not okay about is feeling like I'm responsible for the loss of my former friend's sanity (yes the court might actually find her criminally insane). I tried to let her down gentle all those years ago, but I keep wondering if I could've done something better. I appreciate all the support you guys have given me. I am truly greatfull.
No, you couldn’t have done anything better. You did the best you did and you did NOT cause any of these issues. Bright side, you helped the police get her and now, maybe she will finally get the help she needs.
 

abdlexplorer

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Considering how scary that whole situation is, I can't imagine a way you could have handled it any better. I'm really glad this all worked out for you!
 
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