Is this healthy?

[diaperedteenager]

Is this healthy mental wise? There is this girl in my class and we have been friends for a while, but we never hang out together and she is always "Busy" when I ask her if she wants to do something with me. Almost everyday I fantacise about here, nothing sexual or anything, just simple stuff. Such as imagining hanging out wit her, like thinking what it would like to go to the movies with her and stuff like that.

I have also, a few months ago made up an imaginary girlfriend. Needless to say i kept it up for like a month, but still...is there something wrong with me or doing that?

 

[Donnie]

Not really, I used to do it... *blush*

It just means you have an imagination! ^^

 

[Possibly Insane]

IMAGINATION IS BAD! REALITY IS GOOD.

(Joking... no, it's not bad. It's different. The problem is, people usually have a problem with that.)

 

[Chillhouse]

What do you mean by imaginary girlfriend? Do you mean like, you have halucinations and delusions about a person that doesn't exist? Or do you mean you're telling your friends and family that you have a girlfriend, when you really don't?

Either way, could mean you're lonely. Get out there an meet people!

 

[diaperedteenager]

I mean imagining that there is a person(female) there next to me. This isn't schizophrenia, because I KNOW she isn't real, but I like to ppretend she is/was. It is, i think becuase I am very lonely. I made her up, to pretend that a girl was there to hug me and talk to me. I did, talk out loud to thin air and hug myself and what not, but only when I was alone.

 

[Donnie]

I used to do that with Pokemon, believe it or not. With my step brother. We had our "pokemon" out and would pretend they were doing stuff with us. It was tons of fun.

 

[dogboy]

There's nothing unusual about fantasizing sexual situations and partners. It's not good to be lonely, however. You might want to go a little more pro active and ask a real girl out. It's not a bad idea to have a few guy friends to play a pick up game of basketball, or what ever is fun. Loneliness can cause extreme depression and create serious problems.

 

[timmahtherebel]

I used to do that with Pokemon, believe it or not. With my step brother. We had our "pokemon" out and would pretend they were doing stuff with us. It was tons of fun.

Used to do that with my sister.

Xd

 

[timmahtherebel]

And yeah.. Loneliness sucks... I know...

I miss mine.

 

[diaperedteenager]

I think the main reason I don't ask a real one out is that i am terrified of rejection. It could just be a simple "no thanks" in the social world, this terrifies me. In the business world however...it is entirely different. I am also afraid of girls.

 

[Charlie]

Well there's nothing wrong with imagining yourself being with this girl (as long as you aren't getting obsessive), but I think talking to and hugging an imaginary girlfriend is a bit troubling...

I agree that you should try to find a real girl. But first, raise your confidence!

Best way to do that is to take up some sport. The exercise will make you feel better physically and mentally, and watching yourself improve will build confidence.
Also try to visualise yourself as a confident person, with a girlfriend. Have a clear, colourful picture in your head and imagine yourself walking towards that image. It really works.

When you're confident then start to ask girls out. If they say no, it's no big deal.
I would try flirting though, asking people out is a bit weird (to me). Get to know a girl and then be a little flirty and test the water a little...
(And by flirt I don't mean chat-up lines!)

 

[daria7483]

This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I'm an only child, and when I was a kid I spent a lot of time playing by myself and made up an imaginary younger sister, who had a name and I knew what she looked like and everything. And when I was playing I'd be having whole conversations with her in my head. This went on for like a year before I just gradually stopped thinking about her so much. I never told anyone. I was about 9 then.

Then when I got older and would meet guys I liked but who didn't really seem to like me back, I'd imagine us spending time together a lot.

So anyway, I can't speak to whether it's healthy or not (I'd like to think it is) but it seems more common than you assume. I think as long as you're not letting your fantasies get in the way of spending time with real people, including other girls besides the one you like, and you're not lying to people and saying you have a gf when you don't, it's okay.

 

[diaperedteenager]

I don't like the girl that I am friends and imagine hanging out with. I just imagine hanging out with her, as friends and nothing more. The imaginary girlfriend is a composite of many girls that I have liked over the years. I have since dropped her, mainly b/c it was too much work to imagine up all of this stuff.

 

[Chillhouse]

So you imagined breaking up with her?

 

[diaperedteenager]

not really, there was just one day where i was like okay i am done this is too much work

 

[irecomme]

i'd say loneliness to the degree that you're conjuring up imaginary girlfriends is rather bad for your state of mind as a whole.

if you're that apprehensive about potentially being rejected, then either man the fuck up and face your fears, or resign yourself to solitude for the time being. coping by living in a fantasy world won't help you at all.

 

[timmahtherebel]

Solitude makes me cry.

I can't stand being away from people.