Is this a mental illness

keepitonDL

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  1. Diaper Lover
I classify my experience as a mental illness that I’ve had to accept . I’ve mentioned in my previous posts about countless therapists, jealousy of the “norm”, self hatred ect
I didn’t pick this , and I feel like no one really does .

I feel like some people out there like me can see where it went all wrong? For me it was my parents abuse involving a diaper. And then one thing leads to another where I suddenly am drawn into this. It’s like being pulled in . Every time there an adult diaper section I glance a little long than I should I don’t know.
I didn’t pick this role. Where is my choice ? Boom mental illness innit
 
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You are certainly correct: none of us chose this path. I have always viewed my infantilism as a curse; I was saying just this morning that I would give almost anything to be normal. Unfortunately, I’m not. No amount of wishing, praying, fasting, or penitence will make me normal.

On a more positive note, I think wearing diapers is a little less self harming than alcohol or drugs. In that respect, I am glad that we have our peculiar release.

The challenge of being AB or DL is self acceptance. I recommend Dr. Rhoda’s book if you’re inclined to read on the subject. The title, appropriately enough, is “You’re Not Broken”. For most of us, the title is excellent reassurance.

Best wishes!
 
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You get to feel how you feel! And sorry about the abuse you experienced. My two cents are that I came from a really healthy, loving home, and I also developed a diaper kink. I call it a kink because for me, the act of wearing and using diapers is tied to my sexual arousal. I never chose for that to be a part of who I am, and as best I can tell, it's never going away. Best wishes to you!
 
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Who is to say it is a illness
First of all we have come up with a coping mechanism to overcome what some have experienced in life.
Yes when we get older it mixed with our sexual imprint. Now so what it's not the norm. It's normal for us.
I don't drink or do drugs .This is only thing I do. Isn't the wonderful creation we are a wonder.
So we like a certain under garment.
That makes us happy. Some like pantys and other things. We just like diapers.so who is to say I'm mentally ill. Hog wash.
 
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Illness? Disorder? Dysfunction? No, not really. I’d accept a neutral word like “condition”.

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I mean, seriously. I have a bit of a hang up about what we label things and how that detracts from the personal purity and immutability of that thing in the present that transcends language. We have names for things because someone wants to reference that thing to give their opinion or derive some common understanding of the thing. It does poorly to describe internal thoughts and feelings or identity.

I have a special disdain for the phrase “do they have a name for what’s wrong with you?” Yeah, the state requires that it be disclosed on my drivers license on the Name line…
 
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I could be totally wrong, but I have come to see the struggle that AB/DL folks are facing much like having an unchosen life changing experience that results in one becoming IC. The difference is that those of us that have a medical statement that states a medical classification! The World looks at us a 'tiny' bit differently as it is considered not a choice. But, the reality is whether having to or wanting to wear diapers has the same stigma in society.

As an IC, I have a choice as I either wear a diaper or stand in a puddle of urine. Wearing a diaper allows me to be out and about without leaving puddles or wet pants. We are left with two choices: Wear diapers and plastic pants and step out the door or hide within the walls of our home and never interact with others. That is part of accepting the Reality of Wearing a Diaper.

As a AB/DL, one can choose when and when not. Not a perfect statement, but there is a choice. Point being an AB/DL can allow themselves a space /time to participate. Is being AB/DL an illness. No it is not! In my humble option it is a choice and one can choose to fight it and hope for something better or to participate. Those that choose to participate seem to have a happier life and that is healthier.

Although I have likely walked all over myself, here, whether being IC or AB/DL, at the end of the day, it is all of our choices whether to accept ourselves and reject societies labels and find happiness in being ourselves.

I have been truly blessed with a wonderful business career in which I have travel widely, a wonderful family, including grandkids and most importantly, I have accepted me and who and what I am!

Happiness comes with first accepting who you are and loving yourself. Yes, it sounds to simple, it it truly is that simple.

Remember: You cannot not change the past! You can only live in this moment and a second into that next moment! History is what you do at this very moment! I assure, Life is Way to Short, choose to love yourself and those that care for you!
 
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Edgewater said:
I could be totally wrong, but I have come to see the struggle that AB/DL folks are facing much like having an unchosen life changing experience that results in one becoming IC. The difference is that those of us that have a medical statement that states a medical classification! The World looks at us a 'tiny' bit differently as it is considered not a choice. But, the reality is whether having to or wanting to wear diapers has the same stigma in society.

As an IC, I have a choice as I either wear a diaper or stand in a puddle of urine. Wearing a diaper allows me to be out and about without leaving puddles or wet pants. We are left with two choices: Wear diapers and plastic pants and step out the door or hide within the walls of our home and never interact with others. That is part of accepting the Reality of Wearing a Diaper.

As a AB/DL, one can choose when and when not. Not a perfect statement, but there is a choice. Point being an AB/DL can allow themselves a space /time to participate. Is being AB/DL an illness. No it is not! In my humble option it is a choice and one can choose to fight it and hope for something better or to participate. Those that choose to participate seem to have a happier life and that is healthier.

Although I have likely walked all over myself, here, whether being IC or AB/DL, at the end of the day, it is all of our choices whether to accept ourselves and reject societies labels and find happiness in being ourselves.

I have been truly blessed with a wonderful business career in which I have travel widely, a wonderful family, including grandkids and most importantly, I have accepted me and who and what I am!

Happiness comes with first accepting who you are and loving yourself. Yes, it sounds to simple, it it truly is that simple.

Remember: You cannot not change the past! You can only live in this moment and a second into that next moment! History is what you do at this very moment! I assure, Life is Way to Short, choose to love yourself and those that care for you!
Yes, this is excellently explained. People tend to get hung up on labels, even for the things we do. I believe how we perceive identity and needs also has its own labels that constrain us. Some people may take issue with calling this a “choice”. There’s a bit of political correctness and poetic idealism that runs counter to that because “choice” has been leveraged by people who think people outside the norm should use it as a bridge to get to the norm. I feel it’s still essentially a choice, like any good therapist will tell you. Everything is choice, but it’s the choice to be yourself rather than the choice to be someone else and suffer the damage that inflicts. You can make a choice to constrain yourself and cause yourself distress… but no one should.
 
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It's life experiences and
coping mechanisms and
quality of life and
much more.

I am IC since a month ago full time but it's been something I never wanted. I always was DL from a young age to cope with anxiety and overactive bladder issues no one addressed. I have had to accept wearing 24/7 now in phases and it's still challenging for me. It's giving me confidence more in some areas and fear and concern of judgement in others. As a DL I had it as a coping mechanism. I wouldn't call it a mental illness. It's not an illness.
 
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Trying to "accept" this part of me has led to major depression!
My profile tells my full story, but I was raised in a loving family on a farm. The only problem was how my mom dealt with accidents when I was 4-5. If a little urine leaked out, usually while outside playing, she'd diaper me, or my twin brother as a punishment. I'd have to just wear a t-shirt and diaper the rest of the day and if anyone stopped by they'd see me. But due to having surgeries for my club foot beginning at six months, the pain of braces, and then having to wear a back brace as well until the 8th grade, my small school peers were not kind. My mom's diapering me stirred something in me that I liked and was comforted by. Soon, regressing or disassociating to around 18 months became a way of survival for me.
But the most damage occurred in my mid 30's not long after first learning there were "others" kind of like me. I also had just gotten my first computer and internet service. There wasn't much to learn about though at the time. But I also dealt with light incontinence issues after my back surgeries at 13. I had also married at 20 to the first pretty woman that I got to know. We were both immature, but she had her issues too.
After about ten years of marriage is when I discovered there were others that liked diapers because she saw the Donahue show. What she described though didn't really fit why I wore them. Yes, there became a sexual aspect, but it was the regression and emotional comfort I was after. I had kept that from her and always felt guilty about it. But when I finally left her a note one morning before work, my life fell apart. She called our pastor and all the wives of our church friends!!! I was publicly outed in a dramatic way. I feel this one thing caused me the most emotional harm of my entire life. The very close second was my going inpatient at a Christian-based mental hospital that proceeded to pigeonhole me as a sex addict only!! The extreme, intense public shame all but destroyed me, and that led to years of extreme depression, multiple hospitalizations, and loneliness. Thankfully, through hard work, my faith and trust in Christ, and understanding He does love and want the best for me, have led to mostly a good life.
So, wanting to be diapered after my toddler years I don't think is a mental illness, it is the consequence that many of us reacting to life circumstances. EVERY ONE OF US in the world has coping mechanisms, big and small. And there are really good ones and really bad ones. I think if we can find self-acceptance then we've picked much closer to the good than the bad.
Just thinking out loud????
 
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In order to be a mental illness, something has to negatively affect your life. And it has to be the thing itself, not society's condemnation of it. Homosexuality used to be considered a mental illness, but we learned it wasn't homosexuality that was the problem, it was society's treatment of homosexual people.

ABDL is similar, but there are some important differences. If you find obsession with ABDL materials is hurting your life, you need to figure out if it's ABDL in general, or if it's a reaction to you trying to suppress your ABDL tendencies...

For instance, let's say you really, really love chocolate cake, but you decide it's bad for you and completely cut it out of your life. You may find yourself spending an unusual amount of time looking at a magazine that happens to have a delicious looking chocolate cake on the cover. Is that a mental illness? Probably not. If you feel the need to buy every cookbook you can find with a chocolate cake recipe in it, then maybe...

For me, the best way to handle my DL tendencies was to go 24/7. I never find myself obsessing about wearing because I'm always wearing. The other thing this changed is the humiliation of it is pretty much gone. If somebody noticed and approached me on it, I would be straight forward. "Yes, I wear incontinence briefs. What of it?" I can't imagine anybody giving me a hard time, but if they did I would probably say something like "I'm a US Navy veteran who donated a kidney to a stranger and you're giving me a hard time about my underwear?"
 
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keepitonDL said:
I classify my experience as a mental illness that I’ve had to accept . I’ve mentioned in my previous posts about countless therapists, jealousy of the “norm”, self hatred ect
I didn’t pick this , and I feel like no one really does .

I feel like some people out there like me can see where it went all wrong? For me it was my parents abuse involving a diaper. And then one thing leads to another where I suddenly am drawn into this. It’s like being pulled in . Every time there an adult diaper section I glance a little long than I should I don’t know.
I didn’t pick this role. Where is my choice ? Boom mental illness innit
That is what I believe to be my issue as well. Punishment from parents involving diapers. I remember it like it was yesterday. You are correct. We don't choose this for ourselves. I definitely feel its a mental illness for sure. You are not alone.
 
I don't think ABDL is a mental illness, because being ABDL does not necessarily mean you are unable to be an effective adult or unable to thrive in life. I don't think being ABDL is any more of a mental illness than 'being gay' is.

I've been ABDL (and asexual since diapers are the only thing that turns me on) for as long as I can remember, yet I'm in excellent physical health, I'm doing great financially, I regularly have the means to do all sorts of things I love (both adbl and non-abdl things), and have deep meaningful connections and purpose with family members, friends, and my communities. There are 'normal' adults doing far worse than me in some or all of these honestly way more important regards.

But I absolutely get where you're coming from and didn't achieve my current attitude and views overnight. There was a not too long time ago that I viewed my ABDL as a curse and thought it was ruining my life. It is scary to be different. You wonder if others might reject you. You wonder if others really love you or are really your friends if they don't know this side of you. Even worse, you might be rejecting yourself. But if/when you get past all that ABDL can just be a fun little quirky thing that's just a part of you, and one more potential source of fun and enjoyment that doesn't need to detract from anything else in your life.

You likely can't get rid of ABDL with the help of therapy since it's generally not possible to alter your sexuality, but therapy should be able to help with those feelings of self-loathing and "jealousy of the normal people". It's good you're going because that means a part of you is fighting for yourself; fighting for your happiness and wellbeing. If you're not getting results, don't be afraid to change therapists or try different approaches if what you're doing currently hasn't been working, sometimes it takes a while to find what works. For me, a combination of medication and a therapy technique known as 'cognitive therapy' enabled me to finally get a handle on and overcome the many anxious and depressive thoughts holding me back and troubling me throughout my life.
 
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What happened?
 
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DSM5 officially doesn't consider majority of paraphilias a mental illness, only harmless fetish.

It's not an illness unless you take it to an extreme and let it affect your adult responsibilities or it becomes harmful to yourself or others. Though it can be the cause of actual illness like depression caused by shame and self rejection.

Like most things, placing a greater importance on what society wants instead of what the individual wants is the biggest source of conflict in this.

Maybe this was way easier for me growing up than most people as I've always placed greater emphasis on inalienable individual liberty superseding the wants and needs of society.

I say $@#!&% society. Do what I want. Come and stop me? 😝🖕
 
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While I can’t tell you what exactly I’d classify ABDL as, I for some reason feel strongly against calling it a mental illness.
The way my mental illnesses work isn’t the same way ABDL works at all. I can definitely analyze my ABDL side and see how it potentially could be a bi product of dealing with my mental illnesses and childhood trauma I endured, but it’s not an illness in and of itself. It’s like an ingrained coping mechanism, even though it’s hard to feel like it’s a coping mechanism when it is involuntary and can cause distress. I have a feeling if you told any mental health professional about ABDL they would not classify it as a mental illness.
 
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LittleAndAlone said:
DSM5 officially doesn't consider majority of paraphilias a mental illness, only harmless fetish.

It's not an illness unless you take it to an extreme and let it affect your adult responsibilities or it becomes harmful to yourself or others. Though it can be the cause of actual illness like depression caused by shame and self rejection.
This right here is how medical professionals refer to it. I think it’s best to defer to professionals on this stuff, which is exactly what the DSM is and does.

Medical professionals state that it is not a mental illness. Logically, I’m going to have to side with the experts on this one.
 
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As long as thou canst live a stable life in the long term, thou canstn't consider it as an illness.

Thou canst feel ashamed or find it to be illogical, but that's a matter of self-judgement in my honest opinion.
 
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babyscotty37 said:
Just thinking out loud????
yeah definitely I i think I’m just trying to understand how everyone else feels. Sometimes I flip back and fourth and I desire acceptance on here but I don’t fully know where I belong on this forum.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
 
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lilbabyjooce said:
While I can’t tell you what exactly I’d classify ABDL as, I for some reason feel strongly against calling it a mental illness.
The way my mental illnesses work isn’t the same way ABDL works at all. I can definitely analyze my ABDL side and see how it potentially could be a bi product of dealing with my mental illnesses and childhood trauma I endured, but it’s not an illness in and of itself. It’s like an ingrained coping mechanism, even though it’s hard to feel like it’s a coping mechanism when it is involuntary and can cause distress. I have a feeling if you told any mental health professional about ABDL they would not classify it as a mental illness.
Thanks for sharing !! I sincerely hope that I didn’t offend you , I’m just really only thinking out loud here
 
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keepitonDL said:
Thanks for sharing !! I sincerely hope that I didn’t offend you , I’m just really only thinking out loud here
Oh no not offended at all!! I’ve definitely considered the thought before, too.
 
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